‘Do you think I will still feel this way when we are married?’
‘Silly! If you feel this way after you are married, then you should certainly see a cardiologist, because it will definitely be heart disease.’
‘Oh! I have to wait at least two years until he finishes university. Of course, it’s not so bad. By then I will have my diploma.’
‘But he has two years of military service, too,’ Parvaneh said. ‘Unless he has already served it.’
‘No, I don’t think so. How old is he? He may not have to serve. He is the only son, his father has passed away, and he supports the family.’
‘Maybe. But still, he will have to find a job. Do you think he could manage the expenses of two households? How much do pharmacists earn?’
‘I don’t know. But if I have to, I’ll go and live with his mother and sisters.’
‘You mean you’re willing to move to the provinces and live with your mother-in-law and sisters-in-law?’
‘Of course I’m willing. I would live in hell with him if I have to. And Rezaieh is a nice city. They say it’s clean and pretty.’
‘It’s better than Tehran?’
‘At least it has a better climate than Qum. Have you forgotten that I grew up there?’
What sweet fantasies. Like all romantic sixteen-year-old girls, I was willing to go anywhere and do anything for Saiid.
Parvaneh and I spent much of that day reading the replies we had written to his letters. We reviewed our drafts and tried to come up with a proper letter. But my fingers were freezing and writing with the paper resting on my schoolbag made my handwriting atrocious. In the end, we decided that I should rewrite the letter that night at home and we would give it to Saiid the next day.
That winter day was one of the most pleasant days of my life. I felt I had the world in the palm of my hand. I had everything. A good friend, true love, youth, beauty and a bright future. I was so happy that I even enjoyed the pain in my ankle. After all, if I had not sprained my ankle, I would not have received those beautiful letters.
By late afternoon, the sky became cloudy and it started to snow. Having sat outside in the cold for several hours, my ankle was now throbbing and I had difficulty walking. On the way back home, much of my weight was on Parvaneh’s shoulder and every few steps we had to stop and catch our breath. Finally, we arrived in front of the pharmacy. Saiid, seeing the situation I was in, ran out, held me under the arm and led me inside. The pharmacy was warm and bright and through the tall misty windows the street looked dreary and cold. Dr Ataii was busy helping the customers who had lined up in front of the counter. He was calling them one by one and discussing their medications with them. Everyone’s attention was on him and no one was looking at us sitting on the couch in the corner.
Saiid kneeled down in front of me, raised my foot and put it up on the low table in front of the couch. He carefully felt my bandaged ankle. Even through all that dressing, the touch of his hand made me shudder as if I had touched a live wire. It was strange. He was trembling, too. He looked at me kindly and said, ‘It’s still very inflamed. You shouldn’t have walked on it. I have set aside some ointment and pain medication for you.’
He got up and went behind the counter. I followed him with my eyes. He returned with a glass of water and a pill. I took the pill and as I returned the glass to him he held out another envelope towards me. Our eyes met. Everything we wanted to say was reflected in them. There was no need for words. I forgot my pain. I saw no one but him. Everyone around us had faded in a fog; their voices were muted and incomprehensible. I was deliriously floating in another world when suddenly Parvaneh jabbed me with her elbow.
‘What? What happened?’ I asked, confused.
‘Look over there!’ she said. ‘Over there!’
And raising her eyebrows, she nodded towards the pharmacy window. I automatically sat up straight and my heart started to pound. Ali was standing outside, peering through the window with his face up close to the glass and his hands shielding his eyes.
Parvaneh turned to me and said, ‘What’s the matter? Why are you suddenly as yellow as turmeric?’ Then she got up, walked outside and called out, ‘Ali, Ali, come, come help me. Massoumeh’s ankle is in a bad way and she’s in a lot of pain. I can’t take her home by myself.’ Ali leered at her and ran off. Parvaneh came back inside and said, ‘Did you see the look he gave me? He wanted to cut my head off!’
By the time we made our way home, the sun was setting and it was almost dark. Before I had a chance to ring the doorbell, the door flew open and a hand grabbed me and pulled me in. Parvaneh didn’t realise what was happening and tried to follow me. But Mother pounced on her, shoved her back into the street and screamed, ‘I don’t ever want to see you around here again. Everything we’re suffering is because of you!’ And she slammed the door shut.
I tumbled down the steps and landed in the middle of the yard. Ali clawed at my hair and dragged me into the house. All I could think of was Parvaneh. I felt so humiliated. I screamed, ‘Let go of me, you idiot!’
Mother walked in and while cursing and cussing me she pinched my arm really hard.
‘What is the matter?’ I cried. ‘What has happened? Have you all gone crazy?’
‘What do you think has happened, you tramp!’ Mother screamed. ‘Now you flirt with a stranger right there in public?’
‘Which stranger? My ankle ached; the doctor at the pharmacy examined it and gave me some medicine. That’s it! I was dying of pain. And besides, in Islam a doctor is not considered a stranger.’
‘A doctor! A doctor! Since when is the lackey at a store a doctor? Do you think I’m stupid and don’t know that you’ve been up to something lately?’
‘For the love of God, Mother, it’s not true.’
Ali kicked me, and with the veins in his neck bulging, he growled hoarsely, ‘Yeah, right! I’ve been following you every day. The lout stands at the door and keeps looking out, waiting for you ladies to show up. All my friends know. They say, “Your sister and her friend are with this guy.”’
Mother slapped herself on the head and wailed, ‘I pray to God that I see you on the slab in a morgue. Look what shame and dishonour you’ve brought us. What am I supposed to tell your father and brothers?’ And she pinched my arm again.
Just then, the door flew open and Ahmad walked in, glowering at me with bloodshot eyes, his hands knotted in a fist. He had heard everything.
‘So you finally did it?’ he snarled. ‘Here you are, Mother. She’s all yours. I knew from the start that if she set foot in Tehran and got gussied up every day and went around the streets with that girl, in the end she’d bring us nothing but shame. Now how are you going to hold your head up in front of friends and neighbours?’
‘What have I done wrong?’ I screamed. ‘I swear on Father’s life, I was about to fall on the street, they took me into the pharmacy and gave me a painkiller.’
Mother looked at my foot. It was so swollen it looked like a pillow. She barely touched it and I hollered in pain.
‘Don’t bother with her,’ Ahmad snapped. ‘With all the scandal she’s created, you still want to pamper her?’
‘Scandal? Is it I who have caused a scandal or is it you, coming home drunk every night and carrying on with a married woman?’
Ahmad lunged at me and struck me in the mouth with the back of his hand so hard that my mouth filled with blood. I went crazy. I screamed, ‘Am I lying? I saw you with my own eyes. Her husband wasn’t home and you snuck into their house. And it wasn’t the first time either.’ Another blow landed under my eye and made me dizzy. For an instant I thought I had gone blind.
Mother screamed, ‘Shut up, girl! Have some shame.’
‘Just wait until I tell her husband,’ I shouted.
Mother ran over and covered my mouth with her hand. ‘Didn’t I tell you to shut up?’
I pulled away from her and, filled with rage, I yelled, ‘Can’t you tell that he comes home drunk every night? Tw
ice the police have taken him to the station because he pulled a knife on someone. These aren’t scandals, but if I take a pill at the pharmacy I’ve brought you shame!’
Two consecutive slaps made my ears ring, but I couldn’t control myself, I couldn’t quieten down.
‘Shut up. May God strike you with diphtheria. The difference is that you’re a girl!’ Mother burst into tears, held her arms up to the sky and pleaded, ‘O God, save me! To whom can I turn? Girl, I pray you suffer. I pray you get torn into pieces.’
I was slumped on the floor in the corner of the room. I felt utterly despondent and tears were welling in my eyes. Ali and Ahmad were out in the front yard, whispering together. Mother’s tearful voice interrupted them. ‘Ali, that’s enough. Shut up.’
But Ali was not finished reporting to Ahmad. I wondered how he had gathered so much information.
Again, Mother barked, ‘Ali, I said that’s enough! Run out and buy some bread.’ And finally, with a smack on the head she ushered him out.
I heard Father’s greeting as he walked into the front yard and Mother’s usual response.
‘Oh! You’re home early, Agha Mostafa…’
‘No one goes shopping in this cold, so I decided to close early,’ Father replied. ‘What’s the matter? You look nervous. I see Ahmad’s home, too. How about Mahmoud?’
‘No, Mahmoud hasn’t come home yet. That’s why I’m worried. He always comes home before you do.’
‘He didn’t take his motorcycle today,’ Father said. ‘Traffic is bad and he probably can’t find a taxi. There’s snow and ice everywhere. It seems winter doesn’t want to end this year… So I see the Armenian closed his place early, too, and somebody decided to come home.’
Father rarely spoke to Ahmad and when he made snide remarks about him it was always as an indirect insinuation.
Sitting on the edge of the reflecting pool, Ahmad retorted, ‘As a matter of fact, he didn’t close early. But I’m not going out until I know where I stand with all of you.’
Father held on to the door frame and started taking off his shoes. The light from the hallway only partially lit the room. I was on the floor, next to the korsi, and he couldn’t see me. He quipped, ‘So! Instead of us figuring out where we stand with the gentleman, the gentleman wants to determine where he stands with us.’
‘Not with you, with that nefarious daughter of yours.’
Father’s face turned as white as chalk.
‘Watch your mouth,’ he warned. ‘Your sister’s honour is your honour. Have some shame.’
‘Forget it! She’s made sure we have no honour left. Pull your head out of the snow, Father, and stop hounding me. Your big tub of shame has tumbled to the ground. Everyone in the neighbourhood heard it fall, except for you who have stuffed cotton wool in your ears and don’t want to hear.’
Father was visibly shaking. Terrified, Mother pleaded, ‘Ahmad, my dear. Ahmad! May God let me sacrifice my life for you, may all that ails and troubles you be inflicted on me, don’t say such things. Your father will drop dead. Nothing has happened. Her ankle hurt and they gave her a pill.’
Having regained his composure, Father said, ‘Leave him alone. Let me hear what he has to say.’
‘Why don’t you ask your pampered daughter?’ Ahmad said, pointing to the room, and Father’s eyes turned searchingly towards me. He couldn’t see properly and he reached out and turned on the light. I don’t know how I looked, but he suddenly sounded terrified.
‘Dear God! What have they done to you?’ he gasped as he rushed over and helped me sit up. Then he took his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the blood from the corners of my mouth. His handkerchief had the cool scent of rosewater.
‘Who did this to you?’ he asked.
My tears started to flow faster.
‘You vile scoundrel, you raised your hand to a woman?’ he shouted at Ahmad.
‘Here you go,’ Ahmad retorted. ‘So now I’m the guilty one! Forget about chastity and virtue. We have none. So what if she ends up in the hands of anyone and everyone. From now on, I have to wear a cad’s hat.’
I didn’t know at what point Mahmoud had arrived home. But just then, I saw him standing midway between the house and the yard, looking confused. Mother intervened and while draping her chador over her shoulders she said, ‘That’s enough! Now say praise to the Prophet and his descendants. I want to serve dinner. You, stand aside. And you, take this tablecloth and spread it on the floor over there. Faati? Faati? Where are you, you imp?’
Faati had been there the entire time, but no one had noticed her. She emerged from the shadows behind the stack of bedding in the corner of the room and ran to the kitchen. A few minutes later, she walked back carrying the dinner plates and gently put them on top of the korsi.
Father finished examining the cut on the side of my mouth, my bruised eye and bloody nose, and asked, ‘Who did this to you? Ahmad? Damn him.’ Then he turned towards the yard and shouted, ‘You lout, am I dead for you to now treat my wife and child like this? Even Shemr who slayed Imam Hossein in Kerbela didn’t do this to wives and daughters.’
‘Well! Well! So now the lady is all pure and holy and I’m worse than Shemr. Father, your daughter has left you no honour. You may not care, but I do. I still have a reputation among people. Wait until Ali comes back. Ask him what he saw. The lady flirting with the pharmacy lackey for the world to see!’
‘Father! Father, I swear to God he’s lying,’ I pleaded. ‘I swear on your life, I swear on Grandmother’s grave, my ankle hurt, it was as bad as it was on the first day, I was about to collapse in the street, Parvaneh dragged me to the pharmacy. They put my foot up and gave me a painkiller. Besides, Ali was there, too, but when Parvaneh called him to come and help, he ran off. And then the minute I got home they all attacked me.’
I started to weep. Mother was in the room arranging the dinner plates. Mahmoud was leaning on the shelf above me and observing the commotion with uncharacteristic calm. Ahmad ran inside, stood in the doorway, grabbed hold of the door frame and yelled wildly, ‘Say it, say it! The guy put your leg on the table and touched and fondled you. Say that you were laughing the entire time. Flirting. Say that he waits for you on the street every day and says hello to you, plays up to you…’
Mahmoud’s temper changed. His face flushed and he mumbled something. All I heard was, ‘May God have mercy.’ Father turned and looked at me questioningly.
‘Father, Father, I swear on this blessing’ – Ali had just walked in with freshly baked bread and its scent had filled the room – ‘he is lying, he is badmouthing me because I found out that he sneaks over to Mrs Parvin’s house.’
Again Ahmad lunged towards me, but Father shielded me with his arm and warned, ‘Don’t you raise your hand to her! The things you said can’t be true. Her principal told me there is no girl as decent and as innocent as Massoumeh in their school.’
‘Yeah!’ Ahmad sneered. ‘Their school must be a chastity house.’
‘Shut up! Watch your mouth.’
‘Father, he is right,’ Ali said. ‘I saw it myself. The guy put her leg up on the table and massaged it.’
‘No, Father. I swear. He only held my shoe, and my ankle is so heavily bandaged that no one’s hand could possibly touch it. Besides, a doctor isn’t considered a stranger. Isn’t that right, Father? He just asked me, “Where does it hurt?”’
‘Just!’ Ahmad said. ‘And, of course, we believe you. Look how a scrawny, forty-kilo piece of bird dropping is twirling us on her fingertips. You may fool Father, but I’m shrewder than you think.’
‘Shut up, Ahmad, or I will give you a good wallop in the mouth,’ Father said.
‘Come on! What are you waiting for? All you know how to do is beat us. Ali, why have you kept quiet? Tell them what you told me.’
‘I’ve seen the lackey at the pharmacy stand outside and wait for them every day,’ Ali reported. ‘And as soon as they come, he says hello and they answer him. And then they whisper and giggl
e together.’
‘He’s lying. I haven’t been to school in ten days. Why are you making up these lies? Yes, whenever he sees Parvaneh, he says hello to her. He knows her father and prepares his medications and gives them to her.’
‘May that girl’s grave burn in flames,’ Mother said, beating her chest. ‘This is all her doing.’
‘Then why do you let her in the house?’ Ahmad snapped. ‘Didn’t I tell you not to?’
‘What can I do?’ Mother said. ‘She comes over and they sit and read their books together.’
Ali pulled Ahmad’s arm and whispered something in his ear.
‘Why are you whispering?’ Father asked. ‘Say it out loud for everyone to hear.’
The Book of Fate Page 6