“I am not a f-foreign person,” I say.
Maistreas Eilionoir’s forehead is crinkles. “Why do you say that?”
“I am from Clann-a-Tuath and from Skye.”
“Of course you are.”
I do not want to ask it because what if the answer is bad? I have to ask it. “Knútr the nasty deamhan said I am a foreign person. Why did he say that? He said it’s why the shadow things tried to g-get me on the — boat.”
Maistreas Eilionoir is still for a long time so I think that maybe she has fallen asleep with her eyes open or is dead. But then I know she is not dead because she says, “You are Clann-a-Tuath. You always have been and you always will be. However, there is a small grain of truth in his words. As you know, it is toirmisgte to speak of who your birth parents are, but perhaps — given the current threat we are under — it is necessary to say this much: your birth mother is a member of our clan, but she fell in love with the wrong man: a foreigner. Their affair was brief, and you are the result of it. No one else is aware of what occurred between the two of them, and I suggest you keep it that way.”
My eyes are popping out big big. “But what — ? Who was — ? I am still Clann-a-Tuath. You said it. It doesn’t mean I’m a — a f-foreign person. Who was the foreigner man? Where was he — from?” I have lots of questions and they are all whirry in my head.
“Enough,” says Maistreas Eilionoir. “You know very well it is forbidden to ask such questions. Every woman in this clan is your mother, and every man is your father. You should think no more about it. I mentioned your parentage only because not knowing it almost got you killed once before, and I wouldn’t want that to happen again. But right now, the sgàilean appear to be attacking us all, regardless of our blood, so what I need from you is to go outside and do as I have instructed. You are to ask no more on the subject, nor speak about it to anyone else. Understand? Not now, and not ever.”
I am trying to count the paces but it is hard to keep the numbers in my head because I am too much confused about what Maistreas Eilionoir said. I am not supposed to think those things like who my birth parents are. It is not dùth. But also it is hard not to think of it. My father is a foreigner man. I wonder what he looks like. I try to picture him in my head but there is nothing there. Lileas knew who her parents were, but now the shadow things are going to get them. Lileas was my friend. She helped me to do swimming when our boat sunk and she told me funny things to make me laugh. She told me about her parents too. They are called Edme and Hector. They are her real birth ones. In their clan it is different and strange because they tell their children who is their mother and father even though it is wrong to know that. Lileas told me that her father catches the fish and laughs and her mother is kind.
If they were my parents I would go and warn them. Lileas cannot warn them because she is dead. The nasty deamhan Knútr killed her. He is my worst person.
Maybe I could warn Lileas’s parents instead. Yes, I could do that. I am outside of the enclave so it will be easy for me to go there. I stop walking and look at the island that is Skye. It is lots of grass which is green but also gray rocks in some places and purple which is the heather. There are bigger hills and mountains farther away. It will be a long way to walk I think, but Skye island is smaller than the mainland and I walked there before so I can do it. I will do it. I will warn Lileas’s parents about the shadow things. I will do it for Lileas my friend.
The plan is coming in my head. Clann-a-Tuath means the clan from the north which is the name of my clan. I know where is north because there is the North Wall on Clann-na-Bruthaich’s enclave and that’s where I am now so it must be this way. That is called using your brain and good thinking.
The most important thing is that the Hawks don’t see me leave. They know I am allowed to be walking around the wall because Maistreas Eilionoir told them but if they see me leave they will shout and chase me. I walk a bit more until I am near where there is some trees. The Hawks think I’m still doing the counting but I am only pretending now so I tricked them. If I am in the trees they won’t see me or know that I am gone. Two Hawks are talking and they are not looking where I am. That is being a bad Hawk. I run into the trees and I keep running more and more until I am too tired and then I do walking. I don’t look back until I am out of the trees on the other side. I am too far away for the Hawks to see me now. I did it!
After I have been walking some more I remember that I do not like walking. I had to do lots of walking when we were in Scotia and it is boring and hard for me. I am tired on my legs. I sit down on a stone. The grass is tall here and tickles my ears. Milkwort comes out and sits on my shoulder. I tell him he is lucky because he only has to sit in my pocket and doesn’t have to do the walking. I do not want to do more walking, but then I remember that the shadow things are going to get Lileas’s parents and I have to be fast so I do walking again. I have to get there before it gets nighttime and I don’t know how far it is. I think it is a far way. Lucky it is still the morning so I have lots of time to get there. The only bad thing is that I cannot see Clann-na-Bruthaich’s enclave anymore so I don’t know where north is now. I went only straight but then there was a big hill and more hills and now it is more harder to know. Also when I sat down and stopped that made it more confusing. I will walk this way. I think it is the right way.
It is cold in my ears but also I am hot because of so much walking. I wish I had a bull for riding like Duilleag who is Mór’s bull or Bras who is Crayton’s bull. When we were in Scotia I went riding on both of them and it was fun. The bull people are nice and my friends. They helped us cross the whole of Scotia so we could get the boat and rescue our clan. If Bras was here then Crayton would be here too and that would be the best. Crayton is my favorite, even though Jaime told me he likes to kiss boys and not girls. That is not right because it is not dùth. Only girls should kiss boys. I don’t mind, though. I kissed Crayton once and he liked it.
I can see the sea but it is in the wrong place. It is in front of me but that’s wrong. If it was right I should be at our enclave already. That means our enclave isn’t there anymore. Or I went the wrong way. It was hard with all the hills. Now where do I go? Also I am hungry and I don’t have any food. I should have brought some food.
There is a rabbit hopping in the grass near where I am.
Hello, rabbit, I say to it in my head. Do you know where is our enclave please?
All I can hear in my head is confused noises, then the rabbit hops away. I think it did not know where the enclave is but also it was rude not to talk to me because I was very nice and said please.
I start to walk quicker and then I start to run. I don’t run toward the sea and I don’t run where I was before. It is another way which I hope is the right one. If it gets dark and I do not find our enclave the shadow things will come and they will get me. I remember when they did it on the ship and in the mountain room. They are bad bad bad. I am thinking about them too much so I don’t see the big branch on the ground and I trip on it and bang on my knee.
“Ow!” I shout.
“Hey, are you okay?” someone says.
Who is it? I stand up. Oh, it’s her. “Why are y-you here?” I ask.
“I could ask you the same question,” says Aileen. “We’re a long way from Clann-na-Bruthaich’s enclave, you know? Where are you going?”
I don’t want to tell her. How did she know I was here?
“I can’t tell you,” I say. She’ll make me go back. I walk away from her. She catches up and walks next to me.
“If you tell me, maybe I can point you in the right direction? You look a little lost.”
Aileen stops and I stop too. She is right. I am lost. Maybe if I tell her she will go away.
“I’m going to our — enclave,” I say. “I have to tell the R-Raasay people about the — shadow things. It is not right that they all die.”
Aileen chews on her lip. “I agree,” she says, “but it’s too far to walk. You won’t make it b
efore nightfall. We should head back.”
“No,” I say. “I’m not going back.”
“It’s dangerous out here, Agatha. You’ll get lost on your own. And as soon as it’s dark . . .”
“I know what will happen!” I say. “But I’m not going back.” I walk away from her to show her it is true.
She catches up with me. “Okay, fine, but it’s this way,” she says. “And we’ll have to be fast if we’re going to make it in time.”
I don’t like Aileen and I don’t want her to come with me. I am the hero, not her. Also she always says she is Jaime’s best friend but I am his best friend too. I want her to go away. But also I do not know where the north is so I need her to show me.
She has a bag on her back and there is water in it and also food. She gave me some which is kind. I am still hungry after I ate it but it is better. We walk a long far way. Aileen is always saying we need to be faster otherwise we won’t get there before it is dark but I can’t go faster. It is raining now which makes it more worse and harder. The ground smells of soggy and mud. Milkwort goes back into my pocket because he doesn’t want to be wet.
“How did you know I was — here?” I ask to Aileen. It is what I am wondering.
“What do you mean?”
“When you were here and you — found me . . .” I say. “Why were you h-here?”
“Uh . . . I overheard one of the Hawks saying they saw you run away,” she says. “I was worried about you, so I left the enclave to find you. After I caught up with your trail, I started following you. Sorry, I know it’s not nice to be followed, but I wanted to find out where you were going.”
“Why did the — the Moths let you — out?”
“They didn’t. I slipped past them when they weren’t looking.”
That’s not true. Moths are good at stopping people from coming in and going out. They would have seen her and they would have stopped her. She is lying. Also the Hawks on the wall didn’t see me running. She is lying about that too.
“Why are you — lying?” I say.
“I’m not lying,” she says.
I don’t ask her again. I know it is a lie.
Her hair is wet on her face now. So is mine wet. Her hair is dark red color and curls. Mine is nicer.
“How much m-more do we have to walk?” I say. I am too tired for more walking.
“Not too much farther. We just have to keep up this pace.”
She is walking faster now and the hardest ever. I know why she is going faster. It is starting to get dark. She is worried that we will not get there in time and then the shadow things will come and get us and we cannot stop them. We can’t even make a fire because of the raining. The shadow things do not like the rain, but if the rain stops when it is dark it will mean bad trouble. That is why I am trying to go fast too. Sometimes I have to run a bit which makes me more tired. Soon I will be all out of puffs.
“There it is,” says Aileen.
I look and she is right.
Our enclave! It’s our home and we are nearly there. I want to be living in it really much the same as we were before.
There are people on the wall. They are only small because they are far away; I know that. They are the bad Raasay people and our enemy. They ring the chimes which means they have seen us. We don’t stop walking. We keep looking up and walk straight toward them.
The moment I hit the water, my head explodes with the cold. I’m kickin and scramblin and it’s splashin all over. Somehow my flappin gets my head back above the surface, and I slurp in great gulpfuls of air what are so cold they burn my throat. The boat’s there, close, ridin up and down on the waves. I gotta get back to it. That sickweasel mighta thrown me over, but he didn’t throw me far. The water tastes like herring mold and makes my eyes sting. A bulkin wave pushes my head back under. I slap in the direction of the boat and my nails scrape wood. They scrape it again. Come on, grab somethin. It’s hard with all the movin. I dig in. Skin tears on my fingers. I’ve got it. I’m holdin on. I pull my head outta the water. I’m not drowned yet.
If I thought I was cold in Konge Grímr’s cabin, I didn’t know nothin about what it meant to be cold. The water is a million times more freezin than it was bein on the boat. My teeth are gnashin and I’m shiverin like a crazy goose. If I don’t get out of the water quickspit, I’m gunna be dead from cold and no mistakin.
Above me I can hear laughin. They must think I’m dead already. The underside of the boat is hidden in darkness so praps they can’t see. I start makin my way along the hull of the boat, always stayin in the shadows, lookin for somewhere to climb back up without them seein. The waves keep pullin down, down, turnin my legs to iron, but I’m not lettin go. I’m not finished with this world yet. Not by a long way.
Halfways along the side there’s some notches in the wood which I can climb up. I don’t know if that’s why they’re there, but it’s what I’m gunna use them for — if I’ve got the strength, which I’m not sure I have. It should be easy, but the cold of the water has sucked me dry of strength. Even liftin my arm is hek effort. I hang there shudderin, ice from my own breath smokin in my face. I’m startin to feel sapped, which sure isn’t good. I smack my head into the side of the boat to wake me up, then start heavin with evrythin I got. One notch at a time, up and up until my feet are out of the water and I can use my knees and my feet and my legs and all. When I finally make it to the top, I climb over the edge on my belly and fall into the boat.
Too loud.
The grotcreeps what threw me over stop talkin in a sudden. They must’ve heard me from where they’re standin at the back of the ship. I gotta hide. But I haven’t got no more strength left for runnin. They’re comin toward me. I pick myself up and I’m half runnin, half crawlin in any direction what’s away from them. It’s a hek bulk boat, but it’s not nearly big enough to hide when you got a whole group of wreckers chasin you and you’re halfdead from nearly dyin.
“She’s down the front — quick, get her. How the hell did she . . . ?” is what they’re sayin in their too-loud drunken whisperin. I haven’t got no idea where I’m goin. I’m just stumblin around like some snap-legged goat with no sense of nowhere or nothin.
I trip. Jarg! Sure as muck they got me now. I slip down to the lower part of the deck where evryone else is sleepin and crash straight into who knows who. The ones I slammed into are wakin up and so are others and they’re shoutin like they’re under attack and about to start warrin. Who knew me trippin could cause such a clutterflap?
“It’s the girl; she escaped,” someone ses, twistin me hard by my shoulders.
“Get you’re skittin hams off me,” I say. “I’m not goin nowhere.”
“Someone wake the king.”
“The king is already awake,” ses Konge Grímr. He’s standin by the entrance of his cabin, at the top of the steps what lead down to where evryone else is. He must’ve just woke up, but he looks mighty in his long furs and antler crown. The chain what I’m sposed to be attached to hangs limp at his side. “Come here, girl.”
I tread up the steps toward him. Evryone is awake now and they’re all of them watchin me. When I reach Konge Grímr, I pick up the chain and hold it in my hands. I can’t put it back on cuz I don’t have the keys. Konge Grímr feels his hands across the chain until he reaches me. He squeezes my arm and feels my wet hair. I’m shiverin so much I think I might fall over.
“You’re wet,” he ses.
“I went for a swim,” I say. I don’t know why I’m thinkin it’s a good time to be funny.
“What happened?” He grips my head just a little bit tighter, threatenin me not to lie.
“She broke free,” ses someone from the crowd. “She jumped overboard and tried to escape.”
“That’s not true,” I say. “They took me. They took me and they threw me.”
“Who took you?” Konge Grímr asks.
Bolverk looks at me with death eyes. I know it was him what planned it all, but if I say it was him, he’l
l make my life worse than hell bad. I don’t know what to say; if I say no one, it looks like I’m lyin.
“I didn’t see his face, but I know the ink on his hams,” I say, speakin of the man who did the chuckin. “He’s got cloudberries on his knuckles and thorns round his fingers, sept for the middle what’s got a water snake. His other hand’s got a mink’s head, a snekkja ship, and a white-throated dipper bird what looks like it’s only got one leg.”
Evryone turns and stares at a man. He’s not as bulk as Bolverk, but he’s not far smaller. His nose is flat like it got bust one time too many. He’s hidin his hams behind his back, but I know they’re exactly what I described. He’s shakin his head no.
“How could she know all that?” he ses.
“I gotta good memory,” I say.
“Bring him to me,” ses the king.
Four people grab him, two on each side.
“She’s lying,” the man ses. “You can’t believe that filthy rotten over me!” He gets dragged up the steps until he’s right in front of us. He’s sweatin now, all wet on his forehead. The ink on his bent nose is a spruce tree, what’s sposed to mean honesty. He’s already proovin he doesn’t deserve that one. “You can’t trust her. She’s lying. I never touched her.”
“I’m not no liar,” I say. “I may not be much, but I’m tellin you for nothin I’m not no liar. He’s the one what threw me over.”
“I’ve always considered myself an excellent judge of character,” Konge Grímr ses to me. His hand is still on my head, which helps stop the shiverin. “I used to be able to look into a person’s eyes and know immediately if they were lying. Obviously, that is a skill I no longer possess. But as one sense fails us, another takes its place. Right now, I can hear that you’re lying.”
“I’m not!” I say. “Swear Øden I’m not.”
Somethin flashes forward from Konge Grímr’s robes. A knife. It goes in so quick and then out again.
The man in fronta us looks down at where he’s just been stabbed.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” ses Konge Grímr, givin my head another squeeze. “Throw him overboard,” he ses to the ones holdin the man.
The Broken Raven Page 6