She’s quiet for a moment. “I suppose I do.” She cups my hand and rubs it. “Do you know where you want to go?”
“Probably Kentucky, at least until I can figure something else out. I’ll be with family there, and I’m sure there are plenty of salons I can get a job at.”
“It would make me feel better if you are with the family.”
“I will be. I’ll call you every day. You won’t have to worry about me.”
“I always worry, honey. I’m your mom. It’s my job. You had me worried sick when you left the party. Where did you go?”
I’m in my twenties, so there’s no need to tell my mother what I do with my time, but I feel as if I owe her the decency to let her know where I went when things turned horrible. “I went to see Lys. I figured I could spend a couple days away and let the drama die down.”
“Your sister didn’t mean what she said. She wants you at the wedding. You’re her maid of honor.”
“Yeah, I don’t know if that’s true anymore. We’ve changed. Maybe I have. We’re not close like we were.”
“You’ll always be blood. Never forget that. No matter where you are or what you decide to do, blood never changes.”
I lean my head against her small frame. “I know.”
When I hear her sniffling I know it’s time to scoot her out of my room. The last thing I need is to watch my mom cry because I’m breaking her heart. I abruptly stand and head in the direction of the door. “I think I better go visit Cam. Maybe you’re right. I should smooth things out before the wedding.”
Halfway to my sister’s house I’m reconsidering the idea. If she doesn’t want me to be a part of the wedding I’ll step aside. Yes, it will hurt me, but what can I do to rectify the situation? Boundaries have been crossed. My true feelings are out in the open, leaving my sister angry and hurt. Even after contemplating, I still make it to Wes and Cammie’s house. The back driveway is how everyone enters, and as I pull in behind my sister’s vehicle I notice the work they’ve done to improve curb appeal. The old Victorian is sporting a new coat of paint, and it appears that the gravel sidewalk has been replaced with a cobblestone walkway leading to the kitchen entrance. I walk up the three steps slowly, all while trying to come up with a good way to start the conversation. Wes opens the door. He seems surprised to see me. I watch his jaw clench before he turns to call my sister. “We have company.”
"I come in peace. There's no need to worry. I'm not here to cause more issues between us. I'm here to promise I'll stop being a problem."
Wes is quick to reply. "You aren't a problem for us, Cal. We both want to see you happy."
I know it's true. "I get it. I've been stubborn and a bitch for a long time. I've been bitter and irreconcilable. This is my fault. It's the reason I want to get away. Look, I drove out here tonight to assure you both I will do everything in my power to help make your special day perfect. It's not about me or how I feel. I know that."
Cammie comes up behind Wes with baby Maddy in her arms. She's reluctant to speak until her eyes meet mine. Even so, it takes a few more seconds for her to be certain my apology is genuine. "Do you want to come in? Wes made chicken and vegetables. Are you hungry?"
I shrug. "I don't want to intrude."
Cammie seems desperate to make amends with me. I can see how much this hurts her. "Please, Cal. Spend time with us. I hate that you're going to miss out on seeing Maddy all the time."
I don't want to be emotional. It's not fair for me to become consumed with fear that my own niece won't recognize me when I come home to visit. These are the parts that kill me inside; knowing I have to give up the good with bad. It's like there can't be one without the other.
I extend my hands for the precious child to have the option to reach for me. When she does I take her into my arms and kiss her chubby cheeks. "I guess I can stay for a bit."
We eat dinner in front of the television. Wes and Cammie are entertained by shows with crude humor. Every once in a while they break into laughter in between bites. Maddy sits in her pack and play chewing on a teething toy. She shakes it about before bringing it back to soothe her gums.
While she's preoccupied I peer down and take in her pretty petite features. Her little hands like to grip everything within reach. Her dark hair is beginning to curl at the ends and I swear her dimples have gotten deeper. When she smiles at me I understand what unconditional love means, especially when it comes to the way Wes feels about her. To him she's always been his. I appreciate knowing that he'll always be able to provide for them, even after my sister becomes a well known, high paid physician. The love between them radiates, and perhaps it’s the reason I find it uncomfortable to be around them. I’m jealous, to a point where I hate myself for being this way. I don’t want to harbor ill feelings toward my family, and the fact that I continue to dwell on the negative only justifies my need to take my life elsewhere.
“So, the other night. Where did you go?” Cammie asks. “Mom was worried sick. You wouldn’t answer your phone. Was it because of what I said to you? I was pissed. You have to know I didn’t mean it.”
I shake my head. “It’s fine. I deserved it.”
“No, your sister is right. She was upset over it when we got home. We all say things we don’t mean when we’re angry.”
I appreciate that Wes is taking up for Cam, but it only leaves me on the spot about my whereabouts. Since I’m determined to prove to them I’m furthering myself from their personal life, I feel it necessary to fill them in. “I went to visit Lys.”
Cammie’s eyes light up. “Your friend from high school? I thought she is in college in Pennsylvania?”
“She is. I drove there.”
“It was late, Cal. You were clearly upset. You could have been injured.”
“I made it there fine.”
My sister turns away. “I guess you needed someone other than a sister to be your friend.”
“It would have been nice if she were there. She went to some concert with her other roommates. My phone had died, so I didn’t bother calling.”
“Did you have to turn back around?”
I shake my head while considering how much of that night I should share. “No. There was still someone there to let me in.”
“Good. You got some sleep,” Wes states.
“Not exactly. Yeah, so I sort of hooked up with the brother of one of the other girls."
"What?" Cam's eyes light up. "Like a stranger?"
"No. I met him before. We were familiar with each other."
"Familiar? Did you mess around before?" She inquires.
"For lack of better words I'd describe our relationship as enemies. He's a pompous prick, who I wouldn't care if I never laid eyes on again. He was there. It happened. In some ways it helped at the time, I suppose. Don't make a big deal out of it." I'm prepared to be judged. It's fine. I can take the looks of disapproval, because I've purposely proven I'm not about to attempt to come between my sister and her soon to be husband.
Wes begins. "I remember this one time I hooked up with this random chick at a party. She was hanging all over me for half the night, so it was easy to seal the deal. Anyway, we both wake up the next morning and realize we never even spoke. She had this deep husky voice like a man that literally scared the piss out of me. For a second I thought I'd gone and hooked up with a dude but been too drunk to remember. Beer goggles suck. After we exchanged first names she left and I never saw her again. The point is I hope your experience was better than mine."
I can tell from the look on my sister's face that she's disturbed. Nonetheless, it was the past.
"We’ve spoke to each other. He's definitely a dude. I can attest to that for sure."
Cam giggles. "So you slept with someone you don't like?"
I shrug. "He served his purpose."
"Damn, you're downright scary." Wes looks to Cam. "You Healy women."
"We what?" My sister asks.
"You terrify me," he admits.
While we both laugh I feel it's important to reiterate. "Look, he knew what it was and he was fine with it. We'd both had a bad day and used each other to make it a little better. I don't care for him and he doesn’t like me much either. It happened and now it's over."
"So you're not planning on seeing him again?"
"Hopefully never." It's the truth.
Chapter 8
Callie
Finally the big day. For the most part I've made amends with my sister. I'm trying to do better with my attitude and remain excited to welcome Wes into the family. I hate admitting it, but after my encounter with Cob I'm resorted to believing I just need to get Wes out of my system and replace the idea of being with him by putting myself out there to potentially meet someone who can be what I need.
The challenge is knowing what I want in life. My indecision leaves me wondering if running away from everything I love will be wise. I don't want to end up desperate and settling for the first guy who comes into the picture. Sex with Cob may have been great, but I'd hate to end up with a man like him.
We've arrived at the church, after having a slew of photographs taken beforehand. Cammie is stunning in her custom made dress, which once belonged to our mother. The alterations make it a one of a kind, but it's who is wearing it that knocks it out of the park. Her figure is back, but with some minor changes. Her boobs are bigger and I swear her waist has gotten tiny. Maybe I'm envious of more than Cammie's soon to be husband. It could be said that I just want to be her, at least for one day.
She's been hugging me a lot lately. I think it's reassurance that our love will never fail us, no matter the trials we’re faced with. It’s hard to love my sister and know I’ve been terrible. It’s painful to comprehend how my actions have been affecting her.
Since the whole family has been filled in about my upcoming move, I feel more obligated to be supportive on this special day. I’ll be matched with my brother to walk with during the ceremony, since he’s been best friends with Wes since they were little kids. We’ve yet to see the men today, but in a matter of moments I’ll be walking down the aisle and standing beside my sister as she ties the knot.
The familiar music resonates from the chapel. Cammie primps in front of the mirror. She’s been having bouts of tears all day. “Oh my, it’s time. I’m nervous. Why am I nervous? We’ve been living like we’re married for a year. This should be easy.”
“Everyone is out there watching. It’s going to be okay,” I try to reassure her.
Addison, who is also a bridesmaid, hands my sister a tissue. “Dry your eyes. You’ll do fine.”
Christian offers Cammie and gentle hug from behind. “You’ve got this. It’s a quick ceremony and then we get to celebrate.”
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Cammie admits. “My hands won’t stop shaking.”
I kneel in front of her. “When you think of being Mrs. Parrish, how does it make you feel?”
“Complete,” she responds.
“Then why would you be nervous? You look beautiful. Everything is in order. Right out those doors is the man who is patiently waiting for you to be officially his forever. Get your ass up and make it happen. I don’t need to be the one to tell you how lucky you are.”
She leans forward and hugs me tightly while whispering in my ear. “I love you, Callie. Thank you for being with me for this.” Then she does the same for our other sister Cassie. “I don’t know what I’d do without either of you in my life.”
I close my eyes and try to draw back the burning I feel. “There’s no place I’d rather be.”
“Same,” Cassie agrees.
I have to admit, walking down the aisle and seeing Wes standing there waiting gives me a moment where I wish I was the person he is marrying. It’s just a moment though. He offers a wink to me as a friendly gesture, though I simply throw a smile back as I turn to find my position.
As soon as the wedding tune begins to play for the bride I know this isn’t my time to celebrate in matrimony. My hands are clammy as I search the aisle for my sister to make her first appearance. The congregation stands as she surfaces from the back. My father has her by the arm, while Mom holds onto little Maddy in the first pew. She offers me a quick nod as if she’s proud of me for coming around and doing this. It’s not as if I want to be somewhere else. Yes my heart feels betrayed, but I know this is for the best. This is the life my sister deserves.
Butterflies fill my stomach as she nears and I catch the intimate look between she and Wes. They have something I want badly. They’re best friends and lovers. They’re parents and companions. I’m envious to the point of wanting to cry in failure. I’ve spent too much time fooling around with random guys. No one takes me seriously. I’m doomed to fail, because my standards exceed what I deserve.
The vows are extraordinary. Wes begins, and as I hear the struggle in his voice I notice he’s in tears. I have to peer down to avoid getting emotional as he speaks.
“Cammie. Man, I practiced this for months, and now it seems like it’s not going to be good enough. What can I say to you that you don’t already know? I love you. I think I’ve loved you since I was ten years old. Standing here with you today feels like I’m dreaming. You’re mine and I’m yours. Not a day will go by where you’ll question that. Today you’ll become my wife. I’ve never been happier. Sharing a future with you will make every single moment worthwhile. I promise to be the man you can count on. I promise to love our children, even the ones we haven’t made yet.”
A few of the guests cackle, but as I look to my father who is now positioned next to my mom, I can tell it pains him to think about his baby girl sleeping with a man.
“I’d do anything for you. You’re my world, my past, my present and my future. I’ll love you forever.”
I don’t know about the rest of the congregation, but I’m sobbing. I can’t begin to control the emotions pouring out of me. His words are well thought and powerful. He says everything my sister could ever want to hear.
Then she begins.
“Wes,” she says while lifting her hand to cup his cheek. “My beautiful partner who has saved me more times than I want to count. I never knew you were the one for me. If someone would have told me I would have said they were insane. We were just children when we met, and more than anything, you annoyed me. I wanted nothing to do with you, especially when puberty happened.”
The congregation responds with laughter. “I didn’t know what love was until you came back into my life, or maybe I forced myself in yours. Either way I knew I never wanted to leave the comfort of your arms. You loved me at my worst, and gave me hope and strength to be the woman I am today. Grateful will never be enough. My heart beats for you, Wes. I love you. I need you, and I want you, every single day, every hour, every minute. You’re everything to me. I’m so happy to become your wife and continue this journey with you. I’m lucky to have a man who wants to grow our little family. You are my past, my present and my forever. Always.”
I don’t think there is a dry eye in the room, including my tough on the exterior father, who seems to have two shining cheeks from the amount of tears that have flowed down them.
The moment the couple is pronounced man and wife my once quiet family celebrates. Cammie and Wes kiss, but this time I don’t cringe or turn away. It’s a commemoration of their commitment to one another and it’s simply beautiful.
Having the entire family together is always a great time to be had by all. There are so many of us it’s hard to not find someone to strike up a conversation with. I’m sitting at the head table looking out at everyone and start to notice how most of my cousins have found someone to share their lives with. Noah has Shalan. Bella has Rusty. They’re sitting at a table with their own children, smiling and entertained. Christian and Ethan are dancing, while Addison and Cole are having a conversation near the exit. Cammie and Wes remain in the center of the dance floor, talking and celebrating with everyone who comes to congratulate them.
; I scan the room and find Jake and Jax stealing cameras from tables while people are up getting food. I know exactly what they’re doing. It happens at every wedding, and according to my parents, was started by none other than my Uncle Ty. The photos won’t be seen until the guests go through them in the next week or so. The victim will shrill as bare asses and possibly even more are displayed on their screens or prints. Who would have thought mooning a camera would get so much hype? Only in my family.
I find their wives joining them a few seconds later. They scoot out of the hall where they’ll be undiscovered for the photo session. When I search the room for my brother I find him at the other end of my table. He’s staring at me and pointing to the dance floor. I shrug, knowing exactly what he’s implying. The second we begin dancing he starts on me. “It’s just you and me left. I think we should both wait until we’re at least fifty to settle down. Think of all the potential out there without our cousins around to screw things up.”
“You’re trying to make me feel better.”
“Is it working?”
“No. I feel incompetent. What if I never meet someone?”
“I’m more afraid that you will. That poor dude is in for it. You’re a horrible person to live with.”
I slap him lightly. “Shut up.”
“It’s true. I’m forever finding your thongs on the bathroom floor. I think you purposely drop them to gross me out.”
“We don’t share bathrooms, you asshole. Quit getting on me. Your room is disgusting. I can’t believe you have girls in there.”
“They aren’t there for the décor, dear sister,” he speaks in my ear directly.
I shake my head and bite my tongue. He’s ridiculous and will probably never change. He’ll be old and alone because he refuses to grow up. I don’t want that kind of future. I need to discover my place in the world and settle down. It’s all I want.
Callie Healy Page 6