The Emily Eyefinger Collection

by Duncan Ball

  ‘It’s a toboggan!’ his father said. ‘Have you ever seen a nicer one?’

  ‘No, I haven’t,’ Malcolm sighed. ‘Because this is the first one I’ve ever seen. Oh, Dad.’

  Professor Mousefinder was busy putting film in a camera when Emily whispered in Malcolm’s ear.

  ‘Try to be polite,’ she said.

  ‘What am I going to do with a toboggan?’ Malcolm whispered back. ‘I hate snow.’

  ‘You should always say you like something when it’s a gift.’

  ‘Well, I don’t,’ Malcolm said. ‘So I can’t.’

  ‘All right,’ Professor Mousefinder said, rubbing his hands together. ‘Now for my three-part plan.’

  ‘Tell me this, Dad,’ Malcolm said. ‘Does your plan have anything to do with mice?’

  ‘You are a very clever boy!’ the professor said, slapping Malcolm on the back. ‘If there’s anything that makes a mouseologist like me happy, it’s a mouse.’

  ‘And what makes a mouseologist’s son happy is just going home and having some pizza and birthday cake,’ Malcolm mumbled.

  ‘There is a very rare kind of mouse that lives only on the tops of mountains,’ the professor said. ‘It’s called a Snow-Mouse. The proper name is mus slipperyensis.’

  ‘Don’t tell me,’ Malcolm said. ‘We’re going to try to catch one.’

  ‘Yes, and weigh it and take its picture and then let it go. You’re a quick learner, Malcolm.’

  ‘Quick learner? That’s what we always do. This is great. We’re going on a mouse-hunting expedition on my birthday.’

  But Professor Mousefinder didn’t hear this. It was windy and he was bent over putting another knot in his bootlaces.

  ‘Excuse me, Professor,’ Emily said, ‘but how can mice possibly live up here where it’s so cold?’

  ‘They live in tunnels under the snow. Here, Emily, I had this specially made just for you.’

  With this, Professor Mousefinder handed her a special glove. He took off Emily’s mitten and put this glove on her hand. At the end of one of its fingers was a long, thin piece of clear plastic.

  ‘That’s for your eyefinger,’ the professor explained. ‘All you have to do is poke your finger down in the snow until you find a Snow-Mouse tunnel.’

  Emily poked her finger down and looked through her eyefinger but there was nothing there — just snow. She pulled it out and stabbed it down again. Still there was nothing. She did it again and again, walking across the snow and being very careful not to start sliding down the mountain.

  ‘I don’t think I’m very good at this,’ Emily said.

  ‘Well, you’re a lot better at it than I would be,’ Professor Mousefinder said with a laugh. ‘Because I can’t see through my finger.’

  Emily poked and poked and stabbed and stabbed. Finally her finger went down into air.

  ‘It’s a tunnel!’ she said. ‘And I think I see a mouse.’

  ‘What’s it doing?’

  ‘Just watching my finger. I don’t think it’s seen an eyefinger before,’ Emily said with a smile.

  ‘Snow-Mice are curious but very shy too,’ the professor said. ‘Okay, now for part two of my plan.’

  With this, Professor Mousefinder scraped away the snow until he found the tunnel. But by this time the mouse had disappeared.

  ‘I think you scared him away, Dad,’ Malcolm said.

  ‘And now we scare him out into the open,’ the professor said, taking the toboggan and pointing it down the mountain. ‘Here’s what I want you to do, Malcolm. Scream down the tunnel.’

  ‘Why me?’

  ‘Because Snow-Mice are very hard of hearing.’

  ‘You mean, they’re deaf?’

  ‘Not completely. Because it’s always windy and noisy up here, they don’t use their hearing much. So use that special scream of yours — the one that almost breaks windows.’

  ‘Then what?’

  ‘Hopefully, a Snow-Mouse or two will come popping up out of the snow. Then we can grab one.’

  ‘But how will we know where they’ll pop up?’ Emily asked.

  ‘We won’t. That’s where part three of my plan comes in. When Snow-Mice are frightened they pop up and then slide down the mountain. We’re going to slide after them.’

  Emily jumped in the front of the toboggan. Malcolm let out his best glass-breaking scream and then he hopped in too.

  In a second, Snow-Mice popped up everywhere. When they did, Emily saw the strangest sight: they didn’t slide down the mountain one at a time. They sat up, one behind the other, in groups of five or even ten and then slid down the mountain sitting on their tails.

  ‘They’re using their tails as toboggans!’ Emily cried. ‘This is great!’

  Professor Mousefinder jumped into the toboggan and off they went. All around them were groups of Snow-Mice sliding down the mountain.

  The professor got out a long pole with his special mouse-catching net on the end.

  ‘I can’t see ahead of us, Dad!’ Malcolm yelled. ‘The snow is coming right up in my face!’

  ‘Mine too!’ Emily cried.

  ‘Just keep your eyes on those mice,’ the professor said, pointing to a group of mice sliding down beside them. ‘Now lean to the left!’

  Everyone leaned and the toboggan moved to the side. In a second, the professor had scooped up six squiggling mice in his net.

  ‘How do we stop?’ Malcolm screamed twice as loudly as he’d screamed down the mouse tunnel.

  ‘I don’t know!’ the professor yelled. ‘I thought Emily might know!’

  ‘Me?!’ Emily yelled back. ‘I don’t know anything about toboggans! Besides, we can’t even see where we’re going!’

  ‘Then I guess we’ll just have to go till we stop.’

  The powder snow was coming right up over the front of the toboggan and covering Emily’s face. She put her left hand up in the air. Her eyefinger was above the flying snow so she could see ahead. But what she saw was a terrible sight.

  ‘Hold tight!’ she screamed. ‘We’re heading straight for a cliff!’

  Before anyone could think, the toboggan was flying through the air.

  ‘I’m going to die!’ Malcolm screamed three times as loudly as he’d screamed at the mice. ‘And it’s my birthday! I don’t want to die on my birthday!’

  They flew through the air down and down the mountain and finally landed on the snowy slope with a huge bang. Once again they were tearing along on the snow and once again Emily had her eyefinger hand in the air to see ahead.

  ‘Lean to the right!’ she yelled, and the toboggan just missed a huge rock. ‘Lean to the left!’ And now they missed a tree.

  After a few minutes of steering left and right they slid to a stop.

  ‘Phew! That was kind of exciting,’ Professor Mousefinder said as he jumped out of the toboggan.

  ‘Exciting?’ Malcolm mumbled. ‘It was terrifying — and I never want to do it again.’

  His father quickly unpacked his mouse-measuring gear and in a minute he’d weighed and measured one of the Snow-Mice, taken a good photo of it and then let them all go. Off they went, scrambling up the mountain again.

  ‘Well, that’s that,’ the professor said. ‘And we couldn’t have done it without your scream, Malcolm. Or without your eyefinger, Emily.’

  ‘Well, thank you, Professor,’ Emily said.

  Suddenly Malcolm looked very upset. While Professor Mousefinder was putting away his mouse-measuring things, Emily pulled Malcolm to one side.

  ‘I just hate this birthday,’ Malcolm told her. ‘I’m never going to have another birthday ever again. I don’t care if I stay the same age for the rest of my life!’

  Emily put an arm around him.

  ‘Malcolm,’ she said, ‘just pretend that you’re having a good time.’

  ‘I can’t. Besides, it would be like lying. I’m having a terrible time!’

  ‘It’s not lying, it’s just being polite. I’m sure your dad means well.’


  ‘I wanted a helicopter ride and I wanted another baseball cap. Instead he takes me mouse-hunting and gives me a toboggan.’

  ‘He loves you, Malcolm, and that’s all that matters.’

  ‘I guess you’re right, Emily. And thanks for the video game.’

  ‘You’re welcome, Malcolm.’

  Suddenly there was the sound of the helicopter coming back. It landed on the snow nearby.

  ‘Come on, kids,’ Professor Mousefinder said, as he loaded the backpack and the toboggan in the helicopter.

  ‘Dad?’ Malcolm said.

  ‘Yes, Malcolm?’

  ‘Thanks for the helicopter ride. It was great. And thanks for the toboggan.’

  ‘I beg your pardon?’ the professor said. ‘No, Malcolm, the toboggan wasn’t a birthday present. It’s for both of us to use. Here’s your present.’

  With this, he handed Malcolm a gift-wrapped present. Malcolm opened it and found a baseball cap.

  ‘It’s just what I wanted!’ he said.

  ‘Good, now let’s buzz around some more. Then we’ll go home and have some pizza and birthday cake. Is that okay?’

  ‘Oh, Dad, this is really great,’ Malcolm said. And then turning to Emily, he added, ‘And you were great, too, Emily.’

  Emily smiled and gave him a secret wink with her eyefinger. Then off they flew and Malcolm had the best birthday he’d ever had.

  4.

  Emily Goes to Prison

  One day during the school holidays Emily was all alone at home. She decided to go out and was walking down a tiny street when a car raced up. Two men got out and grabbed her and threw her into the car. Emily screamed and screamed but no one heard her and the car drove off.

  ‘It’s okay,’ one of the men said. ‘We’re not going to hurt you.’

  He tied Emily’s hands behind her back. She made fists with her hands so they couldn’t see her eyefinger.

  ‘Stop the car!’ Emily yelled. ‘Let me out!’

  ‘We can’t,’ one of the men said.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because we’re kidnapping you. That’s why not.’

  ‘Kidnapping is against the law and you’ll be in big trouble if you don’t let me go!’ Emily said.

  ‘When your parents pay us a lot of money we’ll let you go,’ the driver said. He gave a high giggly laugh that sounded like ‘he he he he he he he he he he he he he he’ only even higher and sillier.

  Emily screamed again.

  ‘Please stop screaming,’ the same man said. ‘You’re giving me a headache.’

  ‘Where are you taking me?’ Emily demanded.

  ‘If you have to know, we’re taking you to prison.’

  Now both of them giggled together. ‘He he he he he he he he he’ — like that.

  Emily used her eyefinger to look at the knot on the rope that tied her hands. She could see it perfectly but the knot was too tight to untie.

  Soon they were far out into the country. They came to a high fence with a sign that said:

  Prison Closed

  Keep Out

  On the other side of the fence was a huge old building with bars on all the windows. A sign over the door said:

  Pine Tree Prison

  The men stopped the car. One of them made a hole in the fence using wire-cutters.

  ‘You’re breaking the law again,’ Emily said. ‘Now you’re going to be in even bigger trouble. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

  ‘You didn’t warn me,’ one of the men said. ‘See, I said it. Now what? He he he he he he.’

  ‘That’s not in the least bit funny,’ Emily said.

  The men carried Emily through the hole in the fence. They pulled open the old rusty door. Suddenly they were in a long hallway with prison cells on both sides.

  ‘Oh, look at this!’ one of the men said. ‘It’s a complete mess! It was so beautiful and clean when we were here.’

  ‘Yeah,’ the other one said. ‘Now the paint’s all peeling and there’s dirt everywhere. It makes me sad. Does it make you sad, Doug?’

  ‘Now you’ve used my name, Dan!’ Doug said, giving the other man a push. ‘The kid isn’t supposed to know our names!’

  ‘And now you told her my name too!’ Dan said pushing Doug back.

  While the two men pushed each other back and forth, Emily tried again to get the rope off her hands, but she couldn’t.

  Soon the men opened the door to a cell and pushed Emily inside. The front wall was all made of steel bars. Even the door was made of bars. But the walls were solid. In the corner was a small bed with a blanket on it.

  ‘Are you going to lock me in?’ Emily asked.

  ‘Yep. This is our old cell,’ Dan said. ‘We’ll let you out when we get the ransom money.’

  ‘Could you please untie me?’

  ‘Why should we?’

  ‘Because I have an itchy nose.’

  ‘I hate itchy noses,’ Doug said. ‘Better untie her, Dan.’

  Dan untied the rope and then stepped out of the cell and locked the door. He then unclipped a mobile phone from his belt.

  ‘Okay, little girl,’ he said. ‘Tell us your parents’ telephone number so we can ask for the money.’

  ‘They’re not at home,’ Emily said.

  ‘So we’ll leave a message on the answering machine.’

  ‘And what if I don’t tell you the number?’

  ‘Then you’ll stay here till you do,’ Dan said. ‘Bye bye, see you tomorrow.’

  The men started to walk away.

  ‘Tomorrow? You’re going to leave me here all alone till tomorrow? Okay, I’ll tell you,’ Emily sighed.

  ‘Go ahead,’ said Dan.

  ‘Just push 000 and ask for the police.’

  Dan had just pushed the second 0 when he stopped.

  ‘Very funny,’ he said. ‘You didn’t think I’d fall for that old trick, did you?’

  ‘My brother’s not that stupid,’ Doug said.

  ‘Doug! Now she knows we’re brothers, for pity sake! Why don’t you just tell her where we live?’

  ‘I wouldn’t do that, Dan. Then she’d tell the police after we let her go. Okay, little girl, are you going to tell us your phone number or not?’

  Emily told them her telephone number and Dan dialled.

  ‘We kidnapped your little girl,’ he said into the telephone.

  ‘I’m okay, Mum and Dad!’ Emily yelled. ‘Don’t worry!’

  ‘She’s okay. Anyway, we want some money and then you can have her back. We want —’ he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and read the number that was written on it. ‘We want two thousand, one hundred and forty-two dollars and thirty-five cents.’

  ‘Tell them not to tell the police,’ Doug whispered.

  ‘Don’t go to the police,’ Dan said. ‘One of us will drop around at six this evening and get the money. Then you can have your little girl back.’

  He put the phone on his belt and the two men started walking away.

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘If you need us,’ Doug said, ‘we’ll be down the hallway. In the office. Just lie down and have a rest.’

  As soon as they were out of sight, Emily looked at the bars on the front of her cell. The cells were made for adults, not little girls, and the bars were quite far apart.

  ‘I wonder if I could squeeze through them,’ she thought.

  Emily managed to squeeze her whole body through the bars except for her head. She tried and tried to force her head through but only made it sore.

  ‘It’s no use,’ she thought. ‘If only the bars were just an eentsy teensy tiny winey bit farther apart I could get out.’

  Emily squeezed back into the cell and then reached the hand with her eyefinger on it around into the next cell. She opened her eyefinger eye. Inside the cell was a pile of rubbish. Lying against the rubbish was a broom.

  ‘Hmm,’ Emily thought. ‘If I could only reach that broom.’

  Emily couldn’t quite reach the broom. Sud
denly she had an idea. She squeezed her whole body back out into the hall, except for her head.

  Now try to picture this: Emily was standing outside the cell, bent over, with her head still inside. With her left arm, she could now reach into the next cell and grab the broom. Which she did. In a second she was back in her cell with the broom.

  ‘I saw this on TV once,’ she said to herself.

  Emily picked up the rope that the men had used to tie her hands. She looped it around two of the bars and tied a knot. Then she put the broom handle through the loop and twisted it. The rope got tighter and tighter until it was squeezing the bars together. Emily twisted with all her might.

  ‘All I need is to bend these bars an eentsy teensy tiny winey bit,’ she said, gasping for breath.

  When she finally stopped, Emily found that she could just barely squeeze her head between two of the bars. In a second she’d climbed out into the hallway and was looking for a way out of the prison. She could hear the voices of the men coming from the office.

  ‘Maybe I could sneak past them and get away,’ she thought, ‘but then how would I get home? No, I have a better idea. I’ll set a trap.’

  The door to the cell where the broom had been was open. Emily went in and grabbed an armload of rubbish. She took it back into the other cell and covered it with the blanket. Then she put the broom under the blanket too. It looked like a bit of her hair sticking out from under the blanket.

  ‘That’s the bait for the trap,’ Emily said to herself. ‘This is going to be fun.’

  She untied the rope from the bars and took it back in the other cell. There she hid behind a pile of cardboard.

  ‘Help!’ she screamed. ‘Please help me! Come quickly!’

  The men came running down the hallway.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Doug asked. ‘Hey, little girl! Answer me!’

  ‘Get the key,’ Dan said. ‘Open the cell.’

  Doug opened the cell and they both went in, leaving the key in the door.

  ‘What’s this?’ Dan said, pulling back the blanket. ‘This isn’t a little girl, it’s a pile of rubbish and a broom. Why that little scamp! She tricked us!’

  ‘She certainly did,’ Emily said.

  Dan and Doug turned around to see Emily standing outside the cell.