by Lee, Nadia
“Uh…maybe this isn’t a good idea.”
Leh laughed, the sound lilting. “Don’t worry. Only mortals and lesser supernatural incubators die after extraction. And besides,” she said, a hint of mischief in her voice, “I’m already dead.”
I knew she meant that as a joke, but my heart constricted nonetheless. I wished I’d known her before…and that she were alive so we could leave this place together. Still, I forced a smile and let her take my hand and put it over her heart. It beat steadily. One, two, three. I licked my suddenly dry lips. It felt wrong to take it from her. Surely, she needed it as much as I did.
“Don’t fret. I’ve power enough to last another millennium,” Leh said, putting her hand over mine. “Push in, but don’t force it. If you focus, you’ll be able to reach the heartstone. Otherwise you’ll only end up injuring me.”
I nodded, my lips still parched. Harvesting heartstones is illegal in the States. Of course, I wasn’t exactly in the States, but still…it was a bit strange to do something I’d actively opposed throughout my professional career. Hypocritical even.
Shut up and think about Valerie. She’s dying, and you promised Jack.
My palm tingled with magic, and I concentrated. I could feel her tender flesh give a little. The power within her hummed and sang to me, and I felt mine rise in return. The area where our skin met glowed a faint rose color.
“What—”
“My body recognizes yours, for you are flesh of my flesh.”
I wanted to sink into her and seek the comfort a child might from the warm embrace of its mother. I’d heard of blood bonds, but I’d never known they could be this strong, to go even beyond death. And I hadn’t expected to experience it like this. I wanted to stop, hold Leh and never hurt her.
“Concentrate, Ashera.”
The steel underneath her soft voice kept me going. Sweat beaded on my temples. The scent of lavender and lilies grew stronger—an undertone of blood added an unwelcome metallic tinge to the otherwise lovely combination. A lump clogged my throat, and I had to grit my teeth to stop gagging. Leh took a sharp breath.
“Sorry,” I said.
“I’m fine.”
Damn it. Someone who was okay wouldn’t gasp like that, but it was too late to stop. I focused all my magic on my hand until it suddenly sank into her, as if her chest were nothing more than bread dough. The sight of my hand vanishing into her was disconcerting, and I hesitated, trying desperately to hold an image of the heartstone in my mind. My body was shaking, despite my best efforts to control it.
“Deeper,” Leh said. Her voice was calm, her eyes, locked to mine, serene.
I pushed. The further I went, the more resistant her flesh became. The odor of blood grew stronger, and I began to feel ill. Normally blood doesn’t bother me. I’m a hunter, after all. But Leh wasn’t some demon I was fighting. She was my mother.
It was the first time I had actually admitted it to myself. Admitted it, and truly felt it. Leh was my mother. I’d finally found her. With the thought came an enormous surge of love in my heart, an internal tsunami that threatened to overwhelm me. I loved her. I loved my mother.
Suddenly my fingertips touched something hard and pulsating with magic. This had to be the heartstone.
If I was wrong…
“Now,” she whispered.
I closed my hand around a faceted stone the size of a quail’s egg and withdrew as gently as I could. The instant my hand was out of her chest, Leh collapsed on the floor.
I immediately knelt and put my arms around her, cursing. Her skin was clammy and too pale. Her flesh was closed where I’d penetrated, but tinged a bluish gray. If she died on me, I’d never forgive her. It wasn’t fair to lose my mother just when I’d found her.
I laid her on the bed and covered her with a quilt. Her eyes fluttered open, and something sad yet happy crossed her face. “Put the heartstone in your chest. Just the way you found mine.”
The stone glowed dark crimson. I swallowed, took a deep breath, put it over my heart and pushed in. It burned white-hot, a searing, startling pain that brought me to my knees. If this was anything like the harvesting process, I couldn’t imagine how Leh had remained standing. The heartstone finally lodged inside my chest, and my flesh covered the path as if nothing had happened. The stone and my heart began to beat in unison. Magic, powerful and all consuming, surged and soared, making me gasp. I fell onto my back and stared at the ceiling, blinking to focus my sight. Everything around me blurred and turned hazy. I felt drunk with power, vibrating with the energy now inside me.
Gradually my body calmed, becoming used to its new vitality. Once the shaking stopped I was left with an odd lethargy.
“I wish you could stay longer,” Leh finally said. “But the dawn is coming.”
I didn’t make a move to leave. I was too comfortable on the floor. Maybe I could just stay in her cottage, like one of her rugs.
“Ashera,” she said, her voice hard. Just like every other mother annoyed with her child. “Walk into the screen at the foot of the bed, and you will find yourself back where you took the portal. When you see Ramiel, be sure to ask him how to harness your new weapon.”
I shifted my eyes toward the rice paper screen standing by the bed. I didn’t want to return to the Lunar Garden. There were so many more things I wanted to talk with Leh about. I wanted to get to know my mother.
But there was Valerie to save. And the Triumvirate to deal with. And Leh was right—the dawn was coming.
I got up, finding the motion absurdly easy, my body practically quivering with new power. Leh reached out from her bed, putting her hand over mine. “I don’t know if we’ll meet again, but perhaps we shall. Your magic is very strong, and now that you have your first heartstone you’ll only grow stronger. You can take Eastvale…even the Lair.”
I wasn’t sure I’d heard right. Eastvale the dragonhold and the slayers’ Lair? How could I take both? The ruler of a dragonhold couldn’t reign over the Lair. At least not that I knew of. Dragonlords and slayers were mortal enemies, and supernaturals valued purity of bloodline above all else. They shunned interbreeding, and their seats of power would reject their masters’ archnemeses.
“You’re so much more than those who wish to destroy you. Always remember that.” Leh patted my hand. “Now you must go.”
Swallowing a protest—I knew it would only make our parting more difficult—I leaned down and kissed her forehead. It felt warmer now, and a bit of color had returned to her complexion.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Twelve
I landed on my feet on the wooden floor of the gazebo in the Lunar Garden. The moon had all but set, leaving the garden in the dim light of stars. India’s body was gone, as were the liliths, but Nahemah was there, waiting for me. This time she was in a heavy red dress, her hair blue-black and hanging loose behind her. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw me.
“My…how you’ve changed.”
“Just a bit of magic.” I didn’t want her to know I was still shaky from the power I’d received from Leh’s heartstone.
“Just a bit.” Nahemah’s mouth quirked. Whatever was amusing her deepened the blue of her eyes. “Leh’s glamour was better than I’d imagined.”
Glamour? I hadn’t sensed any appearance alteration spells from Leh. Despite what a lot of people assume, glamour isn’t something that merely enhances one’s looks. Powerful mages can use it to change their entire appearance—better than the CGI they use in Hollywood.
Nahemah chuckled. “Come, Ashera. You ought to bathe and change into something more suitable.” She gave me a critical once-over. “That robe is…filthy.”
“Nathanael found me.”
“Through my illusion? Impossible.”
It was my turn to act oh so slightly superior. “Maybe not for the Dragonlord of Windgar.”
She grew thoughtful. She might have been upset that her magic wasn’t good enough to fool Nathanael. Or maybe she was worried I wo
uldn’t dine with her. Whatever the cause of the sudden change in her disposition, I welcomed it. I wasn’t in the mood to indulge Nahemah’s skewed humor.
Finally, she waved a hand. “Eh. What is it the mortals say? All’s well that ends well? Silly, of course. Death isn’t really what I would call a good end to things. But, no matter. Let’s get you another robe. I’ve prepared something for you, and I think you’ll like it.”
I remained silent. She was entirely too cheerful, and I didn’t want to add to her amusement.
“Let’s return to the main hall,” she continued, her tone light and musical. Obviously my pointed silence wasn’t bothering her at all. Some people can be so insensitive. “I’m sure Ramiel’s dying to see you.”
She raised a hand, her fingers bent in an odd pattern, and a dress appeared. It was a deep violet, the color of Leh’s eyes. Nahemah presented it to me. “This should be just the thing.”
“Uh…do you mind turning around?”
Her eyes were on my body. “Whatever for?”
“I prefer not to get naked in front of strangers.”
“Oh please. Mortals can be such prudes. I thought a visit to your slayer mother might help you in that regard, but—” she sighed, “—I suppose not.”
Still, she complied. Thank god. I’m actually not particularly prudish, but something about Nahemah creeped me out. When I bent down, Leh’s chain swung free from the folds of my dirty dress. I grabbed it quickly, pressing it against my chest and glancing in Nahemah’s direction. Fortunately she wasn’t looking my way. I also pulled India’s heartstone from my old dress and I shoved it inside a small pocket in the front of the new one as I changed. It might come in handy later. I noted that Nahemah had chosen a shade of purple that didn’t flatter my coloring or complexion. And the thing was way too tight around my chest. At least it created some cleavage.
“So…are Nathanael and Leh still in love?” Nahemah stared off in the direction the moon had set. “You saw them together, didn’t you?”
Our bargain didn’t include my giving her information. “They didn’t discuss their feelings for each other with me. Nathanael was a little too busy trying to slice my head off.”
“Of course, how inconsiderate of me. That must have been traumatizing.” Nahemah’s voice grew thoughtful. “To be honest, I’d be surprised if they themselves know. It’s so very difficult keeping track of one’s involvements when one is immortal. It’s not as though Leh was a virgin when she met Nathanael. There are…so many demigods in her past. And can you blame her?” Nahemah turned back to me, an eye on how the dress fit over my body. “I’ve done the same myself. The adoration, the initial heat of attraction. So intoxicating. Sometimes enough to make vows of undying devotion. Silly, really, when one lives forever.”
“Uh-huh.” Why she was telling me all this? Didn’t she have anything better to do than gossip about my mother’s sexual history?
Since I refused to rise to her bait, we walked to the lyceum in silence. Anticipation bubbled inside Nahemah so keenly it practically hummed in the air. I owed her dinner—correction, my presence at dinner—but surely she wasn’t that excited about eating with me.
Nahemah smiled when we saw Ramiel. He sat in the same thronelike chair he’d occupied when we first arrived. His back was bent, and he was holding his head in his big hands. It struck me how alone and tired he looked in the Lunar Garden. Centuries of duties and obligations seemed to weigh on his broad shoulders, oddly like Nathanael. I didn’t know what was going through his mind as he sat there. Maybe he was thinking about Leh, Kyran, the bloody history between them, and his probably unwelcome role as my protector. It had to be a complicated story. Otherwise a dragonlord would never owe anything to a slayer.
He glanced up at our approach, and all the color drained from his face. His eyes widened, his jaw dropping. He rose to his feet and actually swayed.
“Are you okay?” I rushed to his side to catch him just in case he fell. I wasn’t sure if demigods could faint, but I didn’t want to take any chances.
“Leh, how…how did you…?” His voice was hollow and raspy, like he was having trouble getting the words out. His fingers dug into my arms painfully. When I winced, he let go immediately and rubbed my bruised flesh.
“What are you talking about? I’m not—” Suspicion whipped my heart until it thudded fast and hard as a racing horse’s hooves. I glanced at Nahemah. “What have you done to him?”
She laughed in sheer delight. “Nothing.”
Yeah, right.
Oblivious to his surroundings, Ramiel put his hands on each side of my face. This time his touch was gentle. “Leh. I haven’t failed after all…?”
I shook my head free. “It’s Ashera. How much wine did you drink?”
He pulled back a little, a frown creating deep lines between his eyebrows, and examined my face. “Ashera? But…how? I—”
Nahemah let out another peal. I barely suppressed the urge to grind my teeth. I don’t like being the butt of jokes I don’t understand.
Wordlessly, Ramiel drew his sword and let me examine my reflection in the blade.
Soft sleek blond hair. Perfect cheekbones. Flawless alabaster skin.
I raised my suddenly nerveless hand to touch my cheek. The image in Ramiel’s blade copied my motion. It was Leh, except for the eyes. They were tinged with a violet sheen from the dress, but they were still my own.
“Leh was quite the clever girl. If she hadn’t disguised you, the Triumvirate of Madainsair would’ve found you much sooner. The heartstone must’ve broken the spell.” Nahemah wiped tears from her eyes. “Ahh…I always regarded her as just an unschooled slayer, but I could’ve learned a trick or two,” she said. “So you see? You’re not the ugly duckling you thought you were. You’re a demigoddess and look the part, just like all of us. No wonder Ramiel’s staring at you like a love-struck fool. Of course,” she continued conspiratorially, “it would’ve been more interesting if you’d just strung him along. Seen how long it took before he realized that you weren’t your mother.”
She beamed at me, her good humor actually reaching her eyes. I wanted to deny the truth of her words, but I couldn’t. His reaction to my new appearance was obvious, and it stung.
Okay. It hurt like hell.
When you’re ugly all your life and finally find a man who seems to like you, you hope that perhaps he likes you just the way you are. I know the world doesn’t always work that way. And I’m honest enough to admit that I’ve turned guys down because they didn’t physically attract me. But what Ramiel and I had was different—or so I had thought. I’d believed, given our interactions so far, that he liked what he saw, appreciated my skills and brain, beauty or no beauty.
But like I said, I’m honest. Especially with myself. He’d never looked at me the way he did now. Worse, his reaction hinted that perhaps he’d had feelings for my mother. Maybe he still did. Nahemah’s words came back to taunt me.
Enough to make vows of undying devotion.
I turned away from Ramiel. I wasn’t making a scene in front of Nahemah. “When’s dinner?”
She shrugged. “In about two hours. Our day is essentially over now that the moon’s gone. Do freshen up and join us. One of my liliths will assist you.”
“Thank you,” I murmured softly. There was no reason to let her know how upset I was, although the glint in her eyes said she knew and was enjoying herself.
“Ashera, we need to talk.” Ramiel’s voice was quiet but had returned to its usual strength.
I looked at him over a shoulder. He looked as gorgeous as ever, and it made me even more furious. I wanted to claw his heartbreakingly handsome face. I wanted to pull all his hair out and give him acne. I wanted him to experience what it was like to be ugly and ignored and treated like a nonentity by the opposite sex. The sheer depth of my fury surprised me. I’d never felt it this badly, not even visceral punch to the gut I’d gotten when the first boy I liked had ended up with Valerie in the backseat of his
car.
The appearance of a petite redhead spared Ramiel my anger. She bowed to me. “My name is Charity, milady. Would you like a bath?”
“A bath sounds like exactly what I need.”
Charity led the way out and I followed without a backward glance.
Once we were outside the main hall, I took a deep breath and shoved Ramiel and all the complicated emotions he created out of my head. I had what I’d come for. It pulsed inside me. Now I needed to clean up, eat dinner with Nahemah and get the antidote for Valerie. Then I was going back to my life—the one that I’d built for myself—sans Ramiel and his buddies and enemies and all the other interfering demigods. Leh was right. There was no reason for me to jump through hoops just because some Advisors said so. It was my life. I would do what I wanted with it.
“Are we going to the Lunar Pool?”
Charity bowed. “I’m sorry, milady. But with the moon gone, the Lunar Pool is empty. In about twelve hours or so you should be able to enjoy it again.”
I wasn’t going to be hanging around Nahemah for that long. Looked like I’d have to settle for something more pedestrian.
Bathing helps me think. Something about loosened muscles and warm joints performs miracles. I don’t always have great ideas or come up with fantastic solutions to my problems. But at least it helps me organize my thoughts. They were so jumbled at the moment I couldn’t even begin to figure out where to start. Why hadn’t Leh told me about the metamorphosis? Didn’t she think it was important? Or had the glamour she’d put over me vanished when I’d entered the Mystic Forest? And what was the relationship between Leh and Ramiel? Why had he promised her—a slayer—that he would protect me? Why had he said he hadn’t failed when he thought I was Leh?
Vows of undying devotion.
Had Ramiel made one of those? Was that why Nahemah talked about it with such relish?
So many questions and no real answers. No one seemed interested in letting me in on what was really going on. Compared to Ramiel and Nahemah, Jack in the throes of his visions seemed like a straight talker.