by Izzy Bayliss
“Here,” Frankie said, pushing down on the handle and walking into the room before either of us could stop her. We followed her into the room where hastily removed clothes were strewn across the carpet, but Tom wasn’t in the bed. It was a man none of us recognized, and lying beside him was a terrified-looking Olga. They both stayed rooted to the spot like rabbits caught in the headlights.
“Why you here?” Olga screamed at us while trying to cover herself with the sheet.
“I was about to ask you the same thing!” Clara roared. “What do you think you’re doing? Where are the boys? You’re meant to be bringing them to their swimming lessons!”
“They’re with Tom, he come home from work early to take them because you work all day in café,” she tried to explain through her broken English.
“Good old, Tom,” Clara said with tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. “I should never have doubted him.” She shook her head despairingly. “Why are you in my bed? Aren’t there other places you could use for your . . . your . . . shenanigans?”
“We like the sex in other people’s beds,” Olga offered as if it was a reasonable excuse.
I was aghast. Even the normally unflappable Frankie was staring at her open-mouthed.
“Get out of my bed, Olga, go pack your things, and then I’d like you to leave my house and never come back,” Clara hissed.
We watched as Olga got out of bed still trying to cover herself with the sheet while her boyfriend ran behind her trying to cover his manhood with his hands. He quickly grabbed his clothes off the floor and headed straight for the stairs.
“Where do you think you’re going with my sheet? That has a 440 thread count you know!” Clara said pulling it off her.
A naked Olga ran off for her bedroom, and we listened through the walls while she made a racket packing up her stuff.
“What’s going on?” Tom said, coming into the bedroom moments later with Jacob and Joshua on either side of him. “I met a fella running down the driveway, half-naked! I thought we were being burgled!”
“Oh, Tom, I’m so sorry,” Clara said, running up and throwing her arms around him.
“Sorry, for what?” He pulled back and looked at her, his eyebrows raised. “You’re not – you’re not with that fella, are you?” he asked in disbelief.
She shook her head. “Oh Tom,” she started to cry. “I found underwear in our bed a few weeks ago and I thought you were having an affair.”
“I would never do that!” he said indignantly.
“I know that now, but you see I found some things that I was sure were proof that you were being unfaithful, so I guess I got carried away –” She wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
“Like what?” Tom asked in bewilderment.
“Well, I found out about your account in the Bahamas –” she said sheepishly.
“That’s a trust fund should the worst ever happen to me, Clara. I want you and the boys to be provided for –”
“And then when you came home from London wearing the leather jacket . . .”
“What’s wrong with my jacket?” he said, looking affronted.
“Well, it’s a bit . . .” she paused to choose the right word, “young for you, don’t you think?”
“Oh . . .” Tom said, feeling hurt. “The girl in the shop said it suited me . . .”
“I’m so sorry, Tom,” Clara said, throwing her arms around him and collapsing against his chest. “I’m sorry, I should have trusted you.”
“You know you’re the only woman I love, Clara, it’s only ever been you,” Tom said.
She nodded. “I know that, Tom, I’m sorry for being such a fool. It turns out that Olga and her boyfriend have been using our bed. When I came home earlier, they were up here.”
“What?” Tom said in horror pulling back from her. “But she has her own bed!”
“Why was Olga in your bed, Mummy?” Jacob asked.
“Because it’s really bouncy,” I said quickly.
Clara hugged the boys’ heads towards her chest and covered their ears. “They get a kick out of having sex in other people’s beds,” she whispered.
Tom’s jaw dropped.
“I’m so sorry for doubting you,” she said as she relaxed her grip on the boys and rested her head against Tom’s shoulder.
We heard someone enter the room moments later and turned around to see Olga standing there with a bulging suitcase beside her feet.
“I sorry Tom and Clara.”
Clara nodded.
“Can I get reference for new job?”
We all stood looking at her open-mouthed. I had to hand it to her, she had balls.
“The only reference you’ll be getting from me is to tell your new employers to make sure that their bedroom doors are locked!”
“I understand,” she said, lowering her gaze to the floor. “I go now, bye, boys.” She turned and left the room.
“Bye, Olga,” the boys chorused, oblivious to what was going on.
They ran over and jumped up onto the bed and began bouncing up and down.
“Olga was right, this bed is really bouncy!” Jacob squealed.
Clara started to laugh then at the absurdity of the whole thing.
We listened as Olga made her way down the stairs, and when we finally heard the slam of the door, Clara sank down onto the side of bed and sighed. Tom followed her and sat down beside her. “I love you, you daft mare,” he said, throwing his arm around her shoulder and giving her a kiss.
I looked at Clara, Tom, and their two boys who were still bouncing up and down on the bed. Clara was laughing and crying, and Tom was soothing her. I looked at the perfect scene before me. I was happy for her that it had all worked out okay, but once again it was a bittersweet reminder that my own child would be lacking this family togetherness from his or her life.
“Come on,” Frankie said, missing nothing. She put her arm around me. “Let’s get you home.”
CHAPTER 45
The next morning I flicked open my eyes and let them adjust to the shocking pink walls. I turned over to check my phone on the locker and startled to see that I wasn’t alone. There was someone sitting on the chair beside my bed and I was shocked to see it was Sam. It took a moment for my head to work out if this was reality or if I was still dreaming.
“Hey there,” he said, reaching out for my hand. “How are you feeling?”
I rubbed my eyes, hardly daring to believe that it was him. I tried to sit up. “What are you doing here?” was all I could manage.
“Please don’t be mad – Frankie let me in. She phoned and told me everything. I came as soon as I could –”
My mind was trying to work out what was going on but it struggled to make sense of it all. “You know about the baby?” I said in disbelief.
He nodded. “Frankie called me and told me you were in the hospital and that you were pregnant. I got such a fright. I had to see you, so I got on the next available flight.”
I couldn’t believe that Frankie had orchestrated all of this without me knowing it. I felt relieved that Sam knew at last and that the burden of my secret could finally be lifted.
“I don’t understand how it happened though?” he continued. “I thought you were on the pill –”
I had had the same reaction when I had first learned that I was pregnant, and I knew the shock that he was going through right now as his brain tried to process everything that was being said. “I guess we’re one of the one percent that it doesn’t work for . . .”
“So how long have you known for?”
“Just over a month now.”
“You’ve known for a month and you didn’t think to tell me?”
“I was trying to find out the best way to break it to you. Then when I finally plucked up the courage, you told me about your new girlfriend!”
Heat flooded his cheeks. “She means nothing to me – she’s not even my girlfriend –” he said quickly.
“Well, it’s none of my bu
siness really . . . you can do whatever you want to do now that we’ve broken up –”
“Lily – please – we went out a couple of times but it’s not serious –”
“You don’t need to explain – we had broken up – you were ready to move on – I get it!”
“Just listen to me,” he said desperately. “I was hurting and I wanted you to hurt too, so I made it sound more than it was, but I’m sorry . . . if I had known you were pregnant – I never would have done that.” He lowered his gaze. Silence fell between us.
“So when are you due?” he asked eventually.
“August.”
“That’s a nice time of year. The baby will be hardy by the time the winter comes.”
I nodded. “Look, Sam, I know this is a shock; hell, I still can’t believe it myself sometimes except for the fact that if I’m not puking, I’m peeing, but whatever happens between us, I really hope you want to be a part of the baby’s life –”
“You’re right, this is a big shock for me, Lily. It’s huge and I’m still trying to get my head around it all to be honest, but you know how much I’ve always wanted to be a dad. I want to be there for you – for you and the baby.”
“You do?”
“Of course, I do, what do you take me for?”
“Well, I’m glad. No matter what happens between us I want my baby to know its father.”
“Lily, I’m here for you, I don’t want you to do this on your own. I’ve only a couple of weeks left in New York, so once I wrap things up, I’ll be coming back to Dublin. If I’m going to be a father, I want to make sure I’m involved in our baby’s life. I’m going to be there with you every step of the way.”
Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by a wave of relief as tears began to stream down my face. “Oh, Sam, I’ve missed you so much – I love you – I know you might not believe me after everything that has happened between us but I really do. I just wasn’t ready for marriage, but I wanted to be with you – I still do.”
“You see, I guess I’m different because to me if you love someone, marriage is the next step . . .”
We were going over old ground and it wasn’t going to help.
“Look, I’ve missed you too.” He softened. “The last few weeks have been horrendous – you broke my heart.”
“I’m sorry, Sam, I love you more than anything, you know that don’t you? Please can we try again?”
He shook his head. “I can’t –”
I nodded in resignation as all my hopes came crashing down around me again with a thud. “It’s okay,” I said in a small voice. I was trying so hard to hold back the tears.
“I can’t be without you,” he continued. “To be honest, you’ve been on my mind constantly. Unfortunately for me, I still love you, Lily. No matter how much I try to tell myself that I don’t or that I’m over you, I’m not. I don’t want anyone else. Only you. I’ve loved from the day I found you picking up all those cupcakes off the floor. Look, I know you probably want nothing more to do with me after how I’ve treated you but I want to be there for you, every step of the way for the sake of our baby. I want to be the best dad I can be. I’m old-fashioned, I don’t want our child to have to split their school holidays or to have one set of clothes in Mum’s house and another set in Dad’s house – I want us to be a proper family.”
My stomach flipped, and I dared not hope. I couldn’t believe I had heard him right. “Really?”
He shook his head. “Let’s try again – put the past behind us and make a fresh start. What do you say?” He took me into his arms and lifted my chin up towards his, and I found myself melting into his perfect kiss.
CHAPTER 46
I lay blissfully in Sam’s arms for the rest of the morning until eventually I couldn’t ignore my growling stomach any longer.
“The baby’s hungry,” I said, stretching. I pulled back the duvet and went to get up.
“Hey, get back there,” Sam said. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re supposed to be resting!”
“But I’m starving!”
“You stay where you are. I’ll make you a breakfast that New York would be proud of.”
“Can I have bacon and mushrooms . . . and beans – I’d love beans . . . oh, and maybe some scrambled egg too?” My nausea had started to subside in recent days and my appetite had returned in full force just like Frankie had said it would. I couldn’t get enough food into me.
Sam cocked his hand against his forehead in mock salute and went out to the kitchen.
I sank back against the pillows with a big smile on my face. I could hear him moving around outside; the noise of the kettle as it came to life, the opening and closing of the fridge door, the pop of the toaster. I felt so much lighter, and I finally realised what a weight I had been carrying around with me for the last few weeks. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I was so happy that Sam was here and that we were going to try again to make a go of it for the sake of our baby. I felt as though I had won the lottery and I was going to do everything I could to make it work this time. Now that I had Sam back I was never going to let him go again.
I was lying there waiting for him to return with my breakfast, but after ten minutes, when he still hadn’t come back in to me, I shouted out to him, “I hope you’re not sick of me already!”
I was met with silence, so I pulled back the duvet and got out of bed to see where he had gone. I made my way into the kitchen, and I found him sitting on the sofa. His forehead had creased into a deep V between his eyebrows. I looked down and saw in his hands he was holding the copy of Irish World magazine.
I felt my stomach somersault and I groaned internally. I had forgotten it was lying on the coffee table. How could I have been so stupid?
“So, when were you going to tell me you made the cover of Irish World magazine?” he said, holding it up to me. Hurt and anger filled his eyes.
“It wasn’t like that, I swear!” I said quickly.
“Well, that’s what it looks like to me! What the hell am I meant to think when I see an actual photo of you kissing Marc?” he roared. “God, I’m such an idiot. I was right all along, you were never over him and you never will be!” He tossed the magazine down onto the table and began pacing the room.
“It was framed to look like a kiss.” My voice was panicked. “Marc came into Baked with Love and he leaned in to hug me, so I hugged him back. I promise you, that’s all it was – just a hug. Dad was there, he saw it all – ask him, I swear I’m telling the truth. The worst part is that I think he might have set the whole thing up himself to earn a bit of cash.”
“I don’t know, Lily . . .” He shook his head. “Why should I believe you this time? It’s just one more thing in a long line of things. Why is your ex-husband still causing so many problems for us? Every time I think we’re moving forward, Marc pops up and puts a spanner in the works! I don’t want to hear to any more excuses or lies!” He held his head in his hands. “Just a few minutes ago I was so excited that we were able to work it out, and then once again something happens with Marc!”
“You have to believe me, Sam, the only feelings that I have left for Marc are of pure disgust.” I paused. “I swear on our baby’s life, I’m telling you the truth.”
The strength of my words hit home, he lifted his head up and looked me in the eye. “Why should I believe you?”
“Because it’s me, we have a history together. Ask Dad – he’ll tell you exactly the same thing as I have!”
He whole body slumped down, and he cradled his head in his hands again. “I feel like I’m always in his shadow.” His face was crumpled, defeated.
“He means nothing to me. It was you that made me brave enough to trust again. You showed me what it took to love again when I never thought I could. I only want you –”
He shook his head and looked at me squarely. “Will we ever be free of him?”
“We can be, if you trust me. Please, Sam, can we just start again? You have to believe me – I lov
e you and only you. This baby is our future, me and you, we can’t let Marc jeopardise that.”
He looked agonised.
“Please, Sam –” I reached for his hand. “I want to do it with you. I want you at the scans, I want you there to cut the cord, I want us both to spend hours just staring mesmerised at our sleeping baby in its cradle, but most of all I want you.”
“Do you not think I want that too?” He stood up and began pacing around the room. “But things have changed now – it’s not just me and you anymore; we can’t keep making up and breaking up like teenagers. We have a baby to think of now, we need to get it right –”
I nodded. “I know, but isn’t that why we need to give it another shot? I want to share my future with you, Sam.”
We looked at each other head on and suddenly all the old hurts, fears, and worries melted away. Sam walked over and took me into his arms. “A fresh start?” he said.
“A fresh start,” I whispered back.
Then he lifted my chin upwards and our lips met. We kissed deeply making up for all the distance between us over the last few months. I pulled back from him suddenly. There was one way I could show him for sure the strength of my feelings for him. I knew this was the only man I could ever see myself with and I sure as hell wasn’t ever going to let him go again.
“What’s wrong?” he said, his face reading confusion.
“Ask me again, Sam.”
“Ask you what?”
“To marry you.”
He pulled back and his eyebrows shot up. “Are you serious, Lily?”
I nodded before biting down on my bottom lip. “I’m sorry it has taken me until now to be able to say that, but this is what I want, Sam. I want to spend the rest of my life with you – I want to marry you!”
Dark stubble peppered his skin and his kind eyes twinkled. He grinned that smile that I loved so well. “Lily McDermott, will you marry me?”
A bubble of excitement fizzed up inside me. “Yes, a million times, yes!”
Epilogue