“Sounds like people get drunk,” Adam says. “Or maybe they don’t. Listen, if you join my team, I can get you in those parties. Who’s the hottest junior girl?”
Wayne thinks about it. “Sara Bryant.”
“She’s your number-one pick?”
Wayne nods. “She’s stacked, dude. Why?”
Adam digs around in his backpack. Comes out with an assignment. “This is Sara Bryant’s physics paper. Two pages. Ten bucks. This is your audition.”
Wayne looks at the assignment. “I can do this.”
“Bring it to my locker first thing Monday morning,” Adam tells him. “You do good, you’re hired. You’re hired, you’re in. Pretty soon you’ll have Sara Bryant calling you by name.”
“Hot damn.” Wayne stuffs the assignment into his backpack. “Thanks, man. I won’t let you down.”
“Work hard,” Adam tells him. “Work smart. And keep your fucking mouth shut.”
96.
Wayne Tristovsky busts his ass.
Wayne Tristovsky knocks Sara Bryant’s physics assignment out of the park.
Brings it to Adam first thing Monday morning. Adam looks it over. Thinks, This is pretty good. Gives it to Sara. A couple days later, Sara comes back, shows Adam the big red 92 on the front of the page.
Adam lets Sara hug him.
Adam goes back to Wayne.
Adam holds out his hand. Tells Wayne:
“You’re hired.”
97.
So now Adam has an employee. Wayne’s eating it up. Twenty pages a week. Two hundred bucks, easy.
(Plus bonuses.)
Wayne works hard. Wayne keeps his mouth shut.
Wayne looks at Adam like he’s a god.
(Not yet, Adam thinks. But soon.)
Wayne’s addicted to the money. To the thrill of rubbing shoulders with Leanne Grayson and Paul Nolan and Jessie McGill.
To the possibility that one day, Sara Bryant will know his name.
Wayne works hard so Adam doesn’t have to.
(Adam still works. This homework thing is out of control. New clients every day. Wayne’s twenty pages make a nice dent in the workload, but Adam isn’t living the life of leisure just yet.)
Adam still works. Adam still gets paid. Adam just has a little more free time to spend with Victoria. And Sam.
And that’s a good thing, because:
Janie Ng’s throwing that party.
98.
Adam asks Victoria if she’s going to the party.
“I might go,” she says, shrugging. “If somebody asks me.”
“Somebody, huh?” Adam says.
“The right guy,” Victoria tells him. “I only date nerds.”
Adam pulls her close. Adam kisses her in the hallway. “You’re coming with me,” Adam tells her.
Victoria kisses him back. “Of course I am, dummy.”
99.
Adam goes to see Sam. It’s been, like, a week or so.
“I’m sorry,” Adam tells him. “You didn’t mention they piled on the homework in junior year, too.”
Sam laughs. “I guess I forgot that part,” he says. “I never really focused on homework that much, anyway.”
“Yeah,” Adam says.
“I kind of wish I did, though,” Sam says. “Maybe I wouldn’t be working at this goddamn doughnut shop.”
“Yeah,” Adam says. “So, listen, there’s this party coming up. Janie Ng. And I’m definitely going.”
Sam doesn’t answer for a moment, but then he does. “A party, huh?” he says, smiling. “Big one?”
“Huge,” Adam says. “And I need booze.”
Sam grins wider. “The eternal problem of the underage drinker.”
“Exactly,” Adam says. “How did you score your alcohol?”
“Older people,” Sam says. “Some of my friends had college friends, or sometimes we’d just hang out outside the liquor store and pay a random to buy for us.
“Why?” he asks. “You need me to pick you up a bottle of something?”
Adam thinks about it. Adam hesitates. Adam’s not really looking to get Sam involved. Not with what he has in mind.
“It’s no sweat,” Sam says. “This is what big brothers are made for.”
“Yeah,” Adam says. “No, it’s okay. I think my buddy Brian might have a hookup.”
Sam shrugs. “Suit yourself.”
100.
Here’s the thing about the party:
It’s not just any party.
It’s Adam’s first party.
And Adam knows he needs to make a good impression. Needs to do something special. Needs to shake that Pizza Man thing once and for all.
“You want, like, a forty or something?” Brian says. “Or I can swipe some of my dad’s vodka.”
“Not enough,” Adam says. “I need, like, a carload. This is a party, man. It’s huge. I want to show up with all the favors.”
Brian studies Adam across the schoolyard. They’re shooting hoops. Shooting air balls, more like.
(It’s something to do.)
Brian takes a shot. It sails over the backboard. “Fuck basketball,” he says. “When do you need this stuff?”
“Tomorrow night,” Adam tells him. “At the latest.”
“You paying?”
“Top dollar. I just need someone who can pick up what I need.”
Brian jogs over and picks up the ball. Dribbles a few times. “My cousin’s legal,” he says. “I’ll talk to him. You make him a list, he can pick up the stuff.”
“Nice,” Adam says. “Tell him just pick up some stuff high school kids like. Beer, vodka, something for the girls. Tell him to be creative.”
Adam shoots. Misses. Brian catches the ball on the rebound. “So who’s throwing the party?”
“This girl from school,” Adam tells him. “Her parents are out of town.”
“Big party?” Brian says.
Adam looks at Brian. Brian’s watching him. Adam shrugs. “Not really,” he says. “Kind of a get-together, really. You know how it is.”
Brian looks at Adam a moment longer. Then he shrugs and shoots again—
(airball).
Brian knows how it is.
101.
Tommy.
(Brian’s cousin.)
He’s a skinny guy with a raggedy beard and a big goose-down parka. He rolls up to Adam’s house in Remington Park in a mean old Ford Mustang five-liter. Climbs out and gives Adam a gangster handshake, pops the trunk to the Mustang and it’s filled up with booze.
Beer.
Vodka.
Rum.
Tequila.
Jägermeister.
More beer.
Smirnoff Ices.
Palm Bays.
Even more beer.
(Party time.)
Tommy helps Adam lug the booze into his parents’ garage. Walks back out to the Mustang, counts Adam’s money. “You need anything else?” he asks Adam. “A little dope or anything? Maybe some pills?”
“Nah,” Adam says. “Not this time.”
“Make those girls do anything you want, get a couple pills in them,” Tommy says. “You know what I mean?”
“I’m good,” Adam tells him. “I have a girlfriend, anyway.”
Tommy shrugs. Pockets the money. Climbs into the Mustang and drives away. Adam stands there and watches the Mustang drive off. Hopes his parents don’t find the booze before he can get it to Janie’s house.
102.
Adam picks Victoria up in a taxi. They ride together to Janie Ng’s house. Adam pays the driver, pops the trunk. Victoria’s eyes go wide. “Did you rob a liquor store or something?” she says.
“Party favors,” Adam tells her. “Can you give me a hand?”
Victoria gives him a hand. So does Paul Nolan. So does Alton Di Sousa.
Rob Thigpen sits on the couch and watches.
(Asshole.)
Janie Ng hugs Adam, hard. Tries to pay him. Adam shakes his head.
�
�You’re throwing the party,” he tells her. “This is my treat.”
Janie hugs him again, presses her whole body up against him. Breezes back to the party to spread the good news. Victoria nudges Adam. “She totally wants you.”
“Nah,” Adam tells her. “She’s just grateful.”
He’s lying, though. He sees it too.
But it doesn’t matter. He has Victoria.
She’s more than enough.
103.
The gods are in Janie Ng’s living room.
Adam and Victoria wade in. Grab a spot on the couch next to Paul Nolan and Jessie McGill. Across from Alton Di Sousa and Sara Bryant.
Right in the middle of things.
Janie Ng walks in with a couple bottles, Bacardi and Cîroc. “Looks like we’re getting drunk tonight, y’all,” she says. “Adam came through with a ton of booze.”
Paul Nolan slaps Adam five. “Hell yeah he did.”
Alton Di Sousa gives Adam a nod. “Nice work, bud.”
Jessie McGill flashes that smile.
And Rob Thigpen,
well,
Rob pulls out the Pizza Man card.
“Where’d you get all that booze, Pizza Man?” he says. “Pizza Hut?”
Everyone laughs. Paul Nolan raises a red cup. “To Pizza Man,” he says.
“To Pizza Man.”
They all drink. Gods and goddesses. They all drink Adam’s booze and toast to Pizza Man. Jessie McGill kisses his cheek.
So, why exactly is he fighting it?
“Fuck it,” Adam says, raising his own red cup. “To Pizza Man.”
104.
They drink. Then they dance.
It’s
(get this)
the first time Adam has ever danced with a girl. I mean, really danced.
Victoria grinds her hips against Adam’s. Wraps her arms around his neck and looks into his eyes. Tilts her head up and parts her lips like she wants him to kiss her. Smiles when he takes the bait.
Adam closes his eyes. Feels Victoria’s body melt against his. Thinks, This is the dream.
A raging house party.
A pretty girl.
This is what popular feels like.
It feels a lot like . . . winning.
105.
“Why do they call you Pizza Man?” Victoria asks him.
Adam shrugs. “Who knows?” he says. “It’s just a thing.”
“Do you like it?” she teases. “Should I start calling you Pizza Man now?”
Adam stops dancing. Catches a glimpse of Rob Thigpen across the room. He keeps looking at Adam. Keeps checking out Victoria.
(Like he can’t believe any girl as hot as Victoria would choose Pizza Man over Rob Thigpen.)
(Something about that guy, Adam thinks. Something fucking weird.)
Adam looks at Victoria again.
“No,” he tells her. “No, you shouldn’t.”
106.
“You want another drink?” Adam asks Victoria. He’s on his third or fourth beer.
Victoria shakes her head. Keeps nursing her Smirnoff Ice. Keeps grinding her hips against him.
“You sure?” Adam says. “I bought the stuff. Might as well drink it.”
“You just want me to get drunk so you can take advantage of me,” Victoria says.
Adam grins at her. “Maybe. Is that so bad?”
She grins back. “You’re drunk, you big nerd.”
“A little tipsy,” Adam says. “Nothing major.”
“Damn.” Victoria pouts. “I was hoping to take advantage of you.”
Adam kisses her again. Takes her hand and leads her off the dance floor. “Come on.”
107.
They wind up in a study somewhere. A big wooden desk and a wall of bookcases and a big leather couch.
Victoria flops down on the couch. Pulls Adam down beside her. Adam leans in to kiss her. Victoria kisses him. Then she pulls back.
“Do you do this a lot, you big slut?” she says. “Fool around with strange girls at parties?”
“You’re the strangest,” Adam tells her. “By far.”
Victoria hits him. “Jerk.”
“Seriously? You’re the first girl I ever really made out with,” Adam says.
Victoria giggles. “You are a nerd,” she says. “I knew it.”
“So I guess you spend all your time making out with strange boys at parties then, huh?” Adam says.
Victoria shakes her head. “I told you, I’m a nerd too.”
“Yeah?” Adam says. “So what does that mean?”
“It means you’re the first boy I ever made out with.” Victoria pulls Adam close again. Slips her tongue in his mouth. Kisses him for a minute or two.
Then she pulls back again. Takes Adam’s hand and places it under her shirt. “And you’re definitely the first boy I ever let touch me here,” she says. She kisses Adam again.
Adam closes his eyes and . . .
Adam just goes with it.
108.
Janie Ng pokes her head in the door. “You guys can’t be in here.”
Adam pulls himself off Victoria. Reclaims his hand from underneath her shirt. Looks sheepishly at Janie from the couch.
“Sorry,” Janie says. “My parents don’t want anything getting stolen or anything.”
Adam swaps a look with Victoria. They untangle from each other, climb off the couch. Fix their clothing and go back to the party.
“Told you she wants you,” Victoria whispers. “She doesn’t care about anything getting stolen. She just doesn’t want us hooking up in her house.”
Adam looks at Janie across the room. Janie meets his eye, smiles at him. Adam smiles back.
“Maybe,” Adam says.
109.
It doesn’t matter what Janie wants. Adam wants Victoria. Adam’s pretty sure Victoria wants him, too. But Janie Ng’s watching them like a hawk. No way they’re sneaking away to fool around again. No way they’re catching a cab home, not at this hour—
(and then they’re dealing with parents, who are always a major cock-block.)
Basically, no way they’re getting any further alone time tonight.
So, well, they hang out on the couch and get drunker and drunker, listen to the gods and goddesses tell their old war stories, and—
(and at some point, Rob Thigpen comes back around, with Steph this time, and there’s no more room on the couch and nowhere for Rob and Steph to sit, and Rob looks at Adam and it’s awkward.
“Pizza Man,” Rob says. “Let us have this couch, dude.”
Adam looks at the couch. There’s no more room. And what Rob’s really saying is:
Get lost, Pizza Man.
Adam doesn’t move. Rob curls his lip. Rob’s about to say something else.
Then Paul Nolan speaks up.
“Pizza Man brought the booze,” Paul says. “Pizza Man sits where he wants.”
Rob and Steph look at Paul. Then they look at Adam. Adam gives them a shrug, like
What are you going to do?
And that’s when Steph sighs and turns on her heel and drags Rob Thigpen off somewhere else, and boom,
just like that
it’s not awkward anymore.)
—and soon enough Adam’s too drunk to do anything more than cuddle up next to Victoria and tell her how much he likes her, and the last thing he remembers is passing out in Janie Ng’s sunroom and Victoria laughing at him between kisses, telling him to shut up and try to get some sleep.
110.
#epicnight
111.
“My friend’s cousin hooked me up,” Adam tells Sam. “He bought me, like, a shitload of alcohol. All kinds.”
Sam looks up from the TV, where the Red Wings are spanking the Montreal Canadiens. “That’s why you didn’t want me to buy for you,” he says. “You knew a guy.”
“I knew a guy,” Adam says. “And he has a car.”
Sam frowns. “I thought you quit your job, though. How’d you pay for this mot
her lode of booze?”
“I just, you know, had some money saved up,” Adam says. “It seemed like a good investment opportunity.”
Sam looks Adam over. “So I guess you’re pretty much the man after that move, huh?”
Adam shrugs. “I guess so.”
He turns back to the TV. Watches the hockey game. Thinks about the party, about all the booze, the gods and goddesses loving him, Victoria all over him, and he knows he should feel like the man, but . . .
He doesn’t.
Not yet.
Tony Montana didn’t stop when he made his first score. He kept climbing. He stayed hungry.
Adam’s still hungry. He’s still climbing.
There’s a lot more work to be done.
112.
Word gets around.
“Dude.” Some acne-scarred sophomore buttonholes Adam in the hall, Monday morning. “Who’s your hookup, man? I got a drought situation on my hands.”
Adam’s about to give the kid Tommy’s number. Then he thinks about it.
“Make me a list,” he says instead. “I’ll hook you up.”
113.
After school, Adam calls Tommy. Tommy’s into it.
“We can basically charge these kids whatever we want,” Tommy says. “Let’s fucking gouge ’em.”
Adam thinks, Whoa now.
“Let’s not,” he says. “I want these kids to like me. Anyway, it’s not that hard to get a fake ID.”
Tommy thinks about it. Tommy shrugs. “Whatever,” he says. “Just make sure you introduce me to some honeys, cool?”
Adam looks at Tommy like, Honeys?
Whoa now.
114.
Tommy delivers the booze the next day. Brings it to Nixon in his Mustang and they hand it off to the sophomore in the parking lot after school.
“Tell your friends about us,” Adam tells the kid. “If they need drinks we can hook it up, easy.”
How to Win at High School Page 8