“I was pissed off, okay?” Adam says. “She was dumping me.”
“Maybe if you weren’t such a lunatic she wouldn’t have to dump you.”
“Whatever,” Adam says. “It’s not like you wanted us to be together anyway.”
Steph shakes her head. “I don’t like seeing my friends get hurt, Adam.”
Adam stares up at the ceiling. “What did you say, anyway?” he says. “When she told you what happened.”
Steph sighs. “I told her the truth,” she says. “I told her you cared more about being popular than you ever would about her.”
“That’s not true,” Adam says. “I love her.”
“Then give up the stupid homework scheme, you douchebag,” Steph says.
She stares at Adam. Adam says nothing.
(Not a fucking chance.)
Steph nods. “That’s what I thought.”
219.
Wednesday morning, Victoria’s at Adam’s locker with a big shopping bag. “Here,” she says. Shoves the bag at him. “Just take it.”
Adam looks at her. She looks away. Bites her lip like she’s trying not to cry. Adam looks in the bag. Red fabric.
The dress.
The short, tight red number that made her legs look so long. That made her body look right. That she and Adam both loved.
“You paid for it,” Victoria says. “You might as well have it.”
“I can’t take this,” Adam tells her. “What the hell am I supposed to do with it?”
“I don’t know,” Victoria says. “Maybe you could give it to whatever hot chick you decide to sleep with first, Adam.
“I don’t really care,” Victoria says.
“I just don’t want it,” Victoria says.
“Bye,” Victoria says.
220.
Rob Thigpen’s coming down the hall as Victoria walks away from Adam. He’s wearing that cocky smirk of his—
(he looks like he should be playing lacrosse, or rowing, or something)
—and Adam flashes back to that night at Janie’s party. To Rob Thigpen in the corner, watching Victoria dance with Adam.
He flashes back to the night at Crash with Janie Ng.
He suddenly knows what’s going on.
221.
“You told her,” Adam says as Rob walks past his locker. “You told Victoria about me, didn’t you?”
Rob stops walking. Looks at Adam. Looks at the bag in his hands.
(Doesn’t stop smirking.)
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, bro,” he says. “Sorry if I did you wrong somehow, though.”
He starts walking again. Walks away from Adam. Adam watches him go.
“You’ll get yours,” he says.
(Mostly under his breath.)
“When I take over this school,” Adam says, “you’ll get yours.”
222.
Janie Ng walks up. “What’s in the bag, Adam?”
“Nothing,” Adam tells her. “Just the end of my fucking relationship.”
He opens the bag and shows Janie. Janie looks in and frowns. “I don’t get it.”
“I bought this dress for Victoria,” Adam says. “For formal. Except we’re not going together anymore.”
“Oh no,” Janie says. “What happened?”
“Just stuff.” Adam shrugs. “Irreconcilable differences. Anyway, whatever. I’ll get your math paper back tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Janie says. “I’m sure you have other things on your mind.”
Adam shakes her off. “I’ll be fine. Business as usual.”
Janie makes a sympathetic face. “Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to—”
“I’ll come and find you,” Adam tells her.
223.
Cardigan’s, after school.
“We’re really sorry, Adam,” Devon says. “We thought Victoria knew.”
“How could she not?” Lisa says. “How’d you keep it a secret for so long?”
“Are you going to be okay?” Wayne says.
Adam shakes his head. Shakes them off. “Forget it,” he tells them. “It’s business as usual. We’re going to take over this school, understand?”
Adam looks at his team. They glance at one another. Devon looks at the ground. Lisa just smirks. Finally, Wayne shakes his head.
“Are you sure you don’t need a little more time?” he asks. “We all know how much you liked Victoria. It’s cool if you want to take a break or something.”
“Were you listening?” Adam asks him. “I’m not taking a break. I worked too long and too hard to get to this point. I’m not bailing now, okay?”
“Okay,” Wayne says. “No problem. We keep going.”
“Forget about Victoria,” Adam says. “Nothing’s changed.”
224.
Onward and upward.
The next day, Adam tracks down Janie Ng. “Still need a date for formal?”
Janie blinks. “Wait, what?”
“Formal,” Adam says. “Who are you going with?”
Janie hesitates. Janie blushes. “Well, Simon Klein asked me, but . . .”
“Ditch him,” Adam tells her. “Go with me. I already have the tickets. I’m renting a limo. I’m better than Simon Klein. Go with me.”
Janie thinks about it for, like, half a second. Then she grins. “Sold,” she says.
225.
Adam’s date? Locked down.
Victoria? Replaced.
The formal? A week away.
It gets hectic.
Adam and Brian coordinate booze drop-offs and last-minute fake-ID hookups. Just as Adam predicted, fewer and fewer people are buying booze now, but the ID sales are making up for it. Of course:
There’s a logical endgame in sight, Adam knows. Soon every kid who wants a fake ID will have one, and nobody will need Adam and Brian—
(and Bondy)
—anymore.
And what then? Adam thinks. What’s my next move?
He doesn’t know.
He’s thinking about it.
He’ll come up with something.
In the meantime, he sells IDs and a little bit of booze. Polishes off a few homework assignments and brings Victoria’s dress back to the mall. Gets a refund from the same salesgirl who sold him the dress.
“Oh no,” the salesgirl says. “What happened? Your girlfriend looked so pretty in that dress.”
“She died in a car wreck,” Adam tells her. “It’s all very sad.”
226.
“Philosophical differences,” Adam tells Sam. “Nothing I could do.”
“Shit,” Sam says. “That’s awful, man. You guys were supposed to go to that formal thing too, right?”
“Yeah,” Adam says, “but it’s cool, though. I’m taking this hotter girl instead.”
He shows Sam a picture of Janie Ng from Facebook. She’s in Mexico on vacation or something, and she’s in a little two-piece swimsuit, and she could actually—
(actually)
—be a model.
Sam studies the picture. Hands Adam his phone back.
“Right?” Adam says. “Smoking hot.”
Sam shrugs. “She’s hot, sure,” he says, “but I thought you were into Victoria. Are you sure you’re all right?”
Adam looks down at his phone. At the picture of Janie.
“I’m great,” he tells Sam. “I’m just great.”
227.
Brian’s cousin Tommy—
(“When you gonna hook me up with those hot high school honeys, man?”)
—sets Adam and Brian up with a limo. He knows a guy who knows a guy.
(You know how it goes.)
Brian and Amanda swing through Remington Park to pick Adam up. Brian’s rocking a vintage suit he picked up at some thrift store. Amanda’s in a fifties prom dress and fishnets. Punk rock.
They look good.
Almost as good as Adam and Janie. Adam’s suit is so money, and Janie’s in this little black cocktail dress
, fits her like paint. She looks stunning.
(Better than Victoria, Adam thinks.)
(Almost as good, Adam thinks.)
(Shit, Adam thinks.)
Brian hands him a flask. Adam drinks. Whiskey. Calms the nerves. Loosens him up. Makes him forget—
(mostly)
—about—
(Victoria).
Shut up, Adam thinks. You’re in a stretch limo with a goddess. Everyone in the school knows your name. This is your big night. Take it over.
The limo pulls up to the convention center downtown. Brian reaches for the door. Grins at Adam. “You ready?”
This is it, Adam thinks. Be a god.
He hesitates—
(just a moment)
—then he follows Brian and Amanda and Janie out into the night.
228.
The formal’s in a grand ballroom overlooking the river. When the sun sets, the windows fill with the lights of the city skyscrapers and their reflections on the water. The whole room is lit up with candles.
Even in the dim light, though, Adam notices when Wayne Tristovsky walks in. How could he not?
The kid’s in a white suit. Sara freaking Bryant’s on his arm. He looks like he’s king of the universe. He’s grinning and kinda blushing like a lottery winner.
(Meanwhile, Sara’s got this smirk on her face like she’s the funniest person in the world for bringing Wayne to the formal.
Oh shit, Adam thinks. Carrie moment.
(Google it.) )
229.
Dinner is served.
Adam and Janie are at a table with Rob Thigpen and Jessie McGill and Alton Di Sousa and his date—
(some sophomore in heavy makeup and a low-cut dress).
“So, Pizza Man,” Rob says, when everyone is seated and choking down their bland chicken cutlets. “You broke up with Victoria?”
Adam’s buzzing. He doesn’t feel like Adam anymore. He doesn’t feel anxious. He feels like Pizza Man, and Pizza Man doesn’t give a shit about Rob fucking Thigpen.
“Yeah,” he says. “We agreed we should go our separate ways.”
“I heard she found out about your little moneymaking scheme and had a fit,” Rob says. “You must really like doing homework.”
Adam looks around the room. Looks for Brian and his flask. The bastard is AWOL. Fuck it.
“I guess I do, Rob,” Adam says. “Anyway. Where the hell is the booze?”
Everyone laughs. Paul Nolan slaps Adam on the back. “Don’t worry about it, man,” he says, leaning in close. “Forget Victoria. I have a feeling you could get to know Janie real well tonight.”
Adam glances at Janie. Janie gives him this confused look, like,
What the heck did Paul just say to you?
Adam smiles and shrugs. Admires the way Janie’s dress clings to her body. Thinks, You know, Paul, you might be onto something.
230.
Dessert happens. Then someone shines a spotlight on the DJ, who wakes up and starts spinning, like, Skrillex or something. Janie grins at Adam. “Wanna dance?”
Adam thinks about what Paul Nolan said. Thinks about grinding with Janie at Crash. Thinks about not being a virgin tomorrow.
(You’re going to be a god.)
“Hell yes,” Adam says.
231.
Everyone’s drunk. Everyone’s dancing dirty. Paul Nolan is passing around a flask of something noxious. Adam nearly dies when he drinks it.
“Bacardi One-fifty-one,” Paul says, laughing. “Guaranteed to straight-up destroy you.”
Adam’s too busy coughing to pay attention. By the time he gets his breath back he’s
really
goddamn
drunk.
“I gotta take a break,” he tells Janie. “You wanna sit down?”
Janie shakes her head. “I’m gonna keep dancing.”
“Okay,” Adam says. “I’ll be right back.”
Before he can go anywhere, Janie pulls him close and kind of melts into his arms. Adam holds on to her. The room’s kinda spinning at this point, and he figures he could use the support. Things are
blurry
and for a minute, Adam can almost imagine that Janie’s Victoria, and they’re at a party or something, and he all of a sudden relaxes, holds on to Victoria
(Janie)
like she’s the ship’s mast in a storm, the only thing keeping him upright. And then he opens his eyes and—
fuck
—it’s not Victoria, it’s Janie, and she’s looking at him like she wants to be kissed.
And Adam’s too drunk to do anything but kiss her, at this point.
232.
Adam breaks off the kiss. Staggers to the bathroom and pukes. Gets that 151 out of his system and splashes some water on his face and stares at himself in the mirror for a while.
This is your night, he thinks.
You’re a god, he thinks.
What the hell are you doing? he thinks.
He gets out of the bathroom. Away from the mirror. Wanders outside to the balcony overlooking the river. There’s a ship coming, a freighter. Adam watches it slide past. Slow.
Then the door opens behind him and Wayne comes out, smiling like the lightning bolt of sex just smacked him in the face. “Adam,” he says. “Thank you, man.”
Adam’s still watching the freighter. “Yeah,” he says. “No problem. For what?”
“For setting me up with Sara, bro. She’s awesome. We have so much in common.”
Adam looks at Wayne. Thinks, about the only thing they have in common is they both think Sara Bryant’s the greatest creature to ever walk the earth.
“You’re a great friend, man.” Wayne slaps Adam on the back. “Thanks again.”
Adam nods. Watches Wayne stagger back to the party. Thinks, No problem, Wayne, but . . .
you’re not my friend.
233.
Janie’s dancing with Leanne Grayson when Adam finds her again. Dancing close.
Very close.
Janie smiles huge when she sees Adam. “Adam!” She opens her arms, wide. Hugs him, her body pressed tight against him, top to bottom.
“Leanne’s date is drunk,” Janie says.
Adam looks around. “Aren’t we all?”
“Like, really drunk,” Leanne says. “He puked in the bathroom. Mrs. Stewart threw him out.”
“Oh, crap,” Adam says. “That sucks.”
“He was boring anyway,” Leanne says.
“I told Leanne she could dance with us,” Janie tells Adam. “Do you mind?”
“Not really,” Adam says. “I’m pretty drunk myself.”
“I have just the thing,” Janie says. She reaches into her purse and slips something into her mouth. Then she kisses Adam and he feels her push it into his mouth with her tongue. A pill.
Shit, Adam thinks. What am I supposed to do with this?
Janie’s grinning at him.
Adam rolls the pill around with his tongue. Thinks about spitting it out.
Then he thinks, What the hell.
He swallows the pill. Janie grins wider. “Wait till that kicks in,” she tells him. “You’ll be out of your fucking mind.”
“Fuck,” Adam says. His mind’s already blown. He’s barely keeping himself
upright.
But Janie and Leanne are dancing again—
(dirty dancing)
—and every guy in the room is staring at Adam like he’s a god.
(Even Rob Thigpen’s staring.)
Keep it together, Adam thinks.
Don’t pass out.
Don’t puke.
Don’t fuck this up.
(Don’t you dare.)
234.
Adam’s pressed up behind Janie. Leanne’s pressed up in front of her. They’re all dancing.
Janie twists her head back and kisses Adam. “Did you hear about the after-party? Super 8 on Huron Line.”
Adam shrugs.
“We want to go,” Janie says.
Adam looks at Janie. Looks at Leanne. Looks at Rob Thigpen and Paul Nolan and Jessie McGill and Alton Di Sousa and Wayne Tristovsky and Sara freaking Bryant, and—
(all he wants is to be home with Victoria)
(shut up).
“Cool,” Adam says. “Let’s do it.”
Janie kisses Adam again. Reaches into his hair, pulls him closer, bites his earlobe. “You’re going to have the best night of your life,” she says.
235.
The limo’s waiting outside.
(#rockstars)
Brian and Amanda are sharing a cigarette at the curb. Their eyes go wide when they see Adam come out with Janie and Leanne on his arms.
“After-party,” Adam tells them. “Super 8 on Huron Line. Gonna be legendary.”
Brian and Amanda swap glances. “Not really our scene, man.”
“Cool.” Adam gestures to the limo. “You mind dropping me off?”
236.
The Super 8’s on the highway on the outskirts of town. A lonely-trucker motel. Nobody around. Perfect place for a party.
The limo pulls up to the lobby. Leanne climbs out. Janie climbs out. Brian nods at Adam. Gestures to the girls. “You know what you’re doing, man?”
Adam grins at him. “Hell no,” he says.
Brian grins back. “Pimp.”
Even Amanda looks impressed. “You’re the man, Adam.”
“I’m just trying to stay conscious,” Adam tells them.
237.
There are about fifteen, twenty people crammed into one shitty motel room.
Gods
Goddesses
The cream of the crop
Upper echelon
Elite
Paul Nolan and Jessie McGill. Alton and his date. Sara and—
(yeah, even)
—Wayne Tristovsky.
Bacardi. Smirnoff. Jack Daniels. Budweiser.
Pot
How to Win at High School Page 15