by Paula Mowery
When Dad was released, we loaded into a rental car and headed to his house. We collected some clothing hurriedly because we had to get to the airport to catch our flight to Tennessee. He plopped exhausted onto his couch. His stamina had not returned. He instructed me on where his suitcase was located, and I stuffed as much clothing into it as possible. If he needed anything else, we would buy it.
A framed picture on his nightstand caught my eye. It was my sister and me at a very young age. I glanced around the room recognizing several pictures of my mother. Dad had never remarried, but I was shocked to see he still displayed the family he left.
I ran next door explaining the situation to the neighbor and asking if she might check on the house every so often until Dad returned. Then, we picked up his bills, so I could make sure we took care of them long distance until he arrived home again.
And we were off to Tennessee.
3
Since he still required a lot of assistance with daily tasks and was scheduled for frequent therapy sessions, after much prayer and a discussion with Griffey, I resigned from my dental assistant job.
I feared having Dad living with us would be awkward or strained, but the opposite occurred. We shared meals and evenings in the family room. He and Griffey enjoyed watching sports, yelling at the television. He and I discussed every topic from favorite foods to why he left those many years before. I thanked God. I finally had the Dad I’d been missing and always wanted.
Three weeks into our new arrangement, Dad stared at me over his coffee one morning. His shoulders drooped.
“Dad, are you feeling OK?”
He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “Addy, I was such a chicken.”
I shook my head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“When I left that day, the only excuse I have is that I was chicken. I couldn’t fix your sister’s leukemia, and that angered me. Of course, I’d made a mess of things long before then. I didn’t care about anything but myself. How could I be so stupid? I regretted leaving before I pulled out of the driveway, but I kept going. I ran away thinking that would solve everything.”
“Did it?” I leaned forward curious.
“No, nothing was solved except…you were better off with your mother. Even I knew that.” He wagged his head and smiled. “Your mother–she was a saint for what I put her through. At least I’ve been able to tell you that I’m sorry.” He blinked rapidly.
I scooted closer and laid my head on his shoulder. “I love you, Daddy.”
He leaned his head against mine.
Though he still struggled to walk, he insisted on going to church. I admired him for going. I could see how hard it was for him and how exhausted he was when we arrived home. He could barely eat before he fell into a nap that lasted all afternoon.
His faith grew as evidenced by the gleam in his eyes and the frequent theological discussions with Griffey.
****
A crashing sound jolted me awake. I blinked away sleep and sprinted to Dad’s room. He lay unconscious on the floor beside the bed. It was a second stroke. This episode proved more serious, and the doctor informed me that Dad would probably not leave the hospital.
In the last few months, I had gotten to know my dad, and I was grateful we’d had this time. Now the thought of letting him go was much more difficult. Much more painful. I feared leaving his bedside, missing even one more moment of lucidity.
Later that evening, my head began to bobble, and just as I had almost given in to sleep, Dad groaned. I leaned over his bed. As I watched his face, his eyes suddenly popped open and made contact with mine. A hint of a smile curved his lips. I smiled back. My pulse quickened. Then his gaze moved from my face to just behind my shoulder. I followed his line of sight to see what his eyes had fixed upon.
“Conrad,” I whispered. “Do I need some kind of instruction?”
Conrad put up a staying hand. “Be still, Addy. I’m not here for you.” His gaze moved from me, fixing on Dad.
A chill ran up my spine and down my arms. I turned back to my father. My lip quivered uncontrollably, and tears clouded my vision. This was it. He was leaving.
“Addy, these weeks with you …” Dad shook his head. “Thank you for sacrificing to care for me.”
I grabbed his hand. “No, I’ve been the blessed one. I just don’t want it to end.” Tears began to stream down my cheeks.
Conrad spoke from behind me. “Your separation is only for a season. For you do not grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.”
Dad’s eyes closed and a rush of air left his body, but the peaceful smile remained.
I wondered if my mother was surprised when my father arrived in heaven. They had all of eternity to talk about what had transpired over the last few years that led to Dad’s final destination.
****
After Dad’s funeral, it only took three days to have the house back to its normal appearance. Should I try to get my job back? I was unsure what I needed to do. I hadn’t foreseen Dad’s death coming so soon.
When I flipped through the stack of mail, one of Dad’s forwarded bills jogged my memory. His condo in Florida would have to be dealt with, and I was the only one left.
As our supper meal was winding down, I discussed the situation with Griffey.
“I got a bill today from Florida. I completely forgot about Dad’s home down there. I’ll have to do something with it.”
Griffey leaned on his elbows and pursed his lips. “Can it be done in five days?”
“I don’t know. I mean, it’s not a huge place.” I shrugged.
“I think my calendar next week is pretty clear as long as we’re back by Saturday.”
We climbed into our old SUV early Monday morning. We arrived at Dad’s condo early evening too weary to start any packing or sorting. I stepped next door and knocked. I recognized the woman but feared she wouldn’t remember me.
“Hello, have you brought Mr. Reegan home?” She glanced toward Dad’s condo.
My stomach twisted. “No, ma’am. I’m afraid my father passed. We’ve come to clear out his house.”
“Oh, my.” The woman covered her mouth with her wrinkled hand.
“I’m so sorry you had to hear this way. I just wanted to make sure you knew we were here.”
“Of course.”
I turned to go but an urging make me flip back around. “Do you happen to know of anyone in need of furniture? Or, do you have a donation center around here?”
The woman’s eyes brightened. “My grandson and his wife could use some furniture. I gave them some things, but I didn’t have much to spare.”
“Great! Are they nearby? Could they come by tomorrow?”
“I’ll give them a call.” Her spirits perked.
“Just have them stop by tomorrow. We’ll be here most of the week until we get everything taken care of.”
The next day I sat in the middle of Dad’s bedroom floor packing some of his keepsakes and pictures. This was more emotional than I thought it would be.
“Honey, can you come in here?” Griffey’s voice carried from the front room.
I jumped up and jogged in to find a young couple looking the couch over. The young man stepped toward me extending his hand. “I’m John, and this is Shelia. We can’t tell you how much we appreciate this.”
“I’m just glad someone can get some use out of all of this.”
“What kind of charge will there be? We need everything.” John chuckled.
A whisper brushed by me. Be the blessing. “No charge.”
Shelia’s hand went to her chest, and she gasped. “You don’t know…” Her voice broke, then she composed herself. “You don’t know what an answer to prayer this is for us.”
John stroked his wife’s arm. He gazed into my eyes. “We’re just getting started in the ministry. I’m a bivocational pastor for a small church not far from here.”
Griffey stepped forward and patted John’s back. “Welcome to the mi
nistry. I’m a pastor back in Tennessee.”
John’s eyes widened.
By Thursday, Griffey and I were ready to head back home. John and Shelia’s apartment was filled with furniture, and my heart was full of wonder at such a miraculous God. What I thought would be a tedious chore at best had become an opportunity to encourage a young ministry couple.
Since Griffey had been out of his office, he went in on Friday even though that was his normal day off. “Being the pastor, Sunday’s coming. There’s always a sermon to tweak,” Griffey said with a chuckle.
After sending him off, I sat down in the recliner, thinking back over the past few days and even weeks.
The phone rang, and I reached for it. It was Emily calling as if she’d known I needed her counsel.
“Emily, I’ve missed you.” Our standing lunch together had been preempted lately by doctor’s appointments and caring for Dad.
“Me too. What do you have going on? Could you meet me at the Chinese buffet?”
“Yes, that would be great.” I walked toward my bedroom. Lunch out would require nicer clothes than what I was wearing.
“Fifteen minutes?”
“I’ll be there.”
When Emily emerged from her car in the restaurant parking lot, I grabbed her and hugged tight. It seemed a long time since we’d been here. In reality, only two months had passed but so much had changed in my life. I had changed.
After filling our plates, we sat across from each other in a booth and prayed. I glanced at Emily as I picked up my fork. Two months was a long time with so little contact for two friends so involved in each other’s lives.
“You’ve had quite a summer so far, Addy.” Emily sighed and shook her head.
“Don’t you know it? But, now, I’m a little lost.” I shrugged one shoulder.
“What do you mean?” Emily plunked her fork down on her plate and took a sip of her diet soda. She rested her forearms on the table, looking at me intently. Only one other couple sat two tables away in our section, so we could feel free to gab away without disrupting anyone.
“Well, you know I quit my job thinking I would need to care for Dad a lot longer. Now, I just don’t know. I haven’t really gotten…the word.”
Emily leaned in. “You don’t feel any direction?”
I bit my lower lip. Emily still eyed me expectantly. “I had more encounters with Conrad lately.” I wrinkled my nose.
“You mean visions again?” Emily’s eyes widened.
“No, this time I’ve heard an audible encouragement that others can’t hear.”
Emily cocked one eyebrow. “And?”
“I’m kinda in limbo. What does God want from me now?”
“Well,” Emily smiled and patted my hand. “My Bible study has been about that very topic.” She leaned forward with a light in her eyes. “We’ve been studying Habakkuk. There was a time he questioned the Lord, but then he had to just watch and wait and worship. This spoke to me, Addy. We don’t always get a quick answer from the Lord when we petition Him. You have to pray to Him for guidance for your next step but be willing to keep watch for His answer, wait patiently for His time, and keep worshipping Him through it all. I guess you do like the prophet in the Bible—watch, wait, and worship.”
I had missed Emily’s godly advice. Her words sunk deep into my spirit, calming my apprehension. “You always have that apt word at just the right moment. Thank you.”
Emily grasped my hands and prayed for me before we left the buffet. I thanked her again for her profound words.
The message light blinked at me as I entered the kitchen.
“Addy, do you think you could work in the nursery during VBS? I know you did that at your other church.”
I quickly returned the call as the thought of being around babies again thrilled my heart.
“Hello.” Carrie answered on the first ring.
“I was just returning your call. And the answer is yes, I would love to work in the nursery during VBS. It’s next week, right?”
“Yes. Whew. Thank you for saying yes. I was getting a little desperate with it coming so soon.” Carrie spoke so quickly I could barely make out the words. Excitement as well as relief rang through her voice.
Maybe this was a way to find my place at this church. I suddenly felt anxious for the next Sunday evening to arrive.
Baby faces appeared on the screen of my mind. At the other church, I had held so many miracles. Most of them would be ready to start school now. I shook my head. How quickly they grow up.
I felt sure there were plenty of miracle babies in this nursery too. I just had to make myself available.
Early Sunday evening, I met with the other two nursery workers. Then the babies and toddlers began pouring in. The children tended to gravitate toward the other two ladies. They were more familiar with the other two workers, but one particular little girl latched onto me. Her name was Josie, and her blonde curls and blue eyes were perfect for TV commercials. She was outnumbered by the large ratio of boys to girls—besides Josie, there was only one other girl.
Josie much preferred playing with a toy in the safety of my lap. The loud boys were probably a little more rambunctious than she cared for, but I didn’t mind her cuddling near.
After Bible school had finished, I wandered from the nursery toward Griffey’s office. I heard someone call my name and as I turned, I recognized the young woman who was followed closely by two preschool girls.
“Marcella, right? Sorry, I still don’t have all the names down. Griffey’s better at that.”
She chuckled. “That’s OK. With my two little divas, I don’t always remember my own name.”
“But those two are just irresistible.”
She diverted her gaze to the floor and her shoulders slumped. “They are special. I just hope I’m enough.” She whispered the last bit.
“Sure you are.”
The girls skipped to the end of the hall to study some VBS decorations.
Marcella looked me in the eyes. “I’m the only parent though, and being mom and dad is rough.”
“Do you get any help at all from their father?”
“No, and I don’t want it.” She took a breath and let it out.
I tilted my head and furrowed my brows.
“He’s into dealing drugs.” she explained. “The last straw was when I discovered he was selling with the girls in the car.” Marcella propped a fist on her hip. “It was the same day I found out he hadn’t paid our house payment in three months. We’re still there only by the grace of God. I was a teacher before we married and took time off to have the girls, so I’m hoping to get more substituting this year and hopefully work into a full-time position.” Her face lightened into a pleasant smile. “But, we’ll make it. God is good.”
“Be the blessing.” The voice was loud and clear.
“Marcella, how can I help take some stress off of you?”
She shook her head. “No, we’re OK.”
“Please, there must be something I could help you with.” I laid my hand on her shoulder. “Maybe something the girls need.”
Her expression was hesitant. I kept my gaze trained on hers to prove my sincerity. “I insist.”
“Katie does start kindergarten this year, and the supply list is enormous.” She rolled her eyes.
“Oh, let me. Tell me what you need, and I’ll pay for the supplies. I want to.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes. “Thank you. That would really help.” Some of the tension evident on her face released.
The girls came running back, and she gave me a hug. “I better get these kids home, but thanks again.”
I followed Griffey through the church checking for stragglers and locking doors. We dragged ourselves to the car.
The hour was late when Griffey and I finally arrived home from Bible school. We headed straight for our bedroom. As Griffey lay down and adjusted his pillow, I sat cross-legged on the bed facing him.
He looked up grinning. “Yes?”
I told him of my encounter with Marcella, and what I had offered.
“Really? Others have wanted to assist and she refuses. I’m so glad you were able to get her to allow someone to help. How’d you get her to let us?”
I gnawed my bottom lip. “I received encouragement, like with Dad.”
His brow knitted. “I don’t understand.”
“Conrad’s been visiting again.”
“The visions are back?” His eyes widened.
I shook my head. “No, no visions, just a nudging whisper.”
“What kind of whisper?”
“To help people. Conrad explained that God adds new facets to us to make us more like Jesus.”
“Hmm…so now you have to do the blessin’ not just tell about it?” His grin grew wide.
I shrugged. “I guess.” I paused. I really wanted to ask him about the job too. I needed his input on my current unemployed status. “Griffey, do you think I should go back to work?”
“Babe, why don’t you just wait a while? You don’t have to go back to work.” He cupped my cheek. “Seek out those facets.”
I smiled and leaned into his hand. Facets indeed.
4
Griffey had already headed out as I sat in the kitchen and ate my cereal. He’d left earlier because he had to be in Knoxville with a church member having bypass surgery. I thought over our conversation about my job. Suddenly the words from the verse in First Peter sprang to mind. “Maybe being a blessing is my job,” I murmured.
After I’d placed the breakfast dishes in the washer, it was still not yet seven o’clock. I stuck fifty dollars inside an envelope with a card for Marcella. She’d enjoy taking little Katie shopping herself rather than me just dropping off the kindergarten supplies. I stopped to write a little note and was so engrossed in my task, I jolted when the phone rang.
As I placed the receiver to my ear, Griffey’s voice came over the line. “Hey, babe.”
“Hey, what’s up?” I finished stuffing the card and money into an envelope.
“I was wondering if you might do me a favor this morning.”