“That’s true. And it would be more of a risk, but I’d be doing it my way.”
“You should have your money within a few months. The D.A. doesn’t want to waste any time getting Fitzpatrick to trial.”
“And once I testify, this will all be over.”
He hesitated. “Yes.”
She’d thought it would be over with the Fitzpatrick wedding. She’d thought the same thing when she’d been shot. It seemed as if they were always setting a time limit on their relationship and then extending it for one reason or another.
But this wasn’t any kind of relationship, was it? Guilt, obligation and duty, that’s all she meant to Sam.
His arm brushed her shoulder as they waited for the light to change, and despite Audra’s fatigue, every one of her nerves instantly came to attention. She tightened her grip on the umbrella, striving to ignore the pulse jumps and stomach lurches that followed the contact, but it was no use. She was acutely conscious of how close they were standing, isolated together as they sheltered from the rain. He smelled so clean, and the muscle beneath his sleeve felt so taut....
How much longer would this awareness keep up? It didn’t matter how often or how vehemently she tried to prevent it, she still felt drawn to him. Maybe it was because of her inexperience, maybe that’s why she couldn’t dismiss those kisses and the intimate things they had done. Now that the physical longings that had lain dormant for years had finally been awakened, they couldn’t be switched off.
It was all so frustrating. She’d been getting along fine before she’d met Sam. She’d known what she’d wanted, and it hadn’t included having her life turned upside down by a man. How was she supposed to get over her feelings for him when he was there each time she turned around? It hurt to see him. And it felt good to see him. The constant tug-of-war couldn’t go on.
So why did she let it? She was taking charge of all the other aspects of her life. Why should she put up with this? Was it because she still hoped they could build a relationship? Was she willing to endure the misery simply to have the chance to be around him?
The light changed. People streamed past, but Audra stayed where she was.
Sam touched her elbow. “Audra?”
The sensation of his fingers on her skin sent pleasure through her body...and misery through her heart. She jerked away. “This isn’t working,” she said.
“What’s wrong?”
“This bodyguard arrangement you’ve decided on. It isn’t working.”
“It’s only until you testify.”
“No. I’ve had enough.” She turned around and started back the way she’d come.
Sam splashed after her. “Audra, wait!”
She lowered her head and kept walking. “I’m relieving you of your duty, Detective Tucker. I’ll find my own way home.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Of course you can. I’m sure you’d rather be off tracking serious bad guys than baby-sitting me. Get Xavier to assign someone else.”
“He won’t.”
“Then I’ll call him and insist—”
“He won’t assign someone else because he didn’t assign me.”
“What?”
“I’m on my own time.”
She stumbled to a halt and spun to face him. “You’re what?”
He lifted his shoulders in a stiff shrug. “I had a few weeks coming to me. The department doesn’t have any say in how I choose to spend them.”
For an instant, the hope was there, the stubborn, ridiculous dream that she did mean more to him than duty, that maybe he had other reasons for staying with her....
Oh God, she was pathetic. How many times was she going to replay his rejection of her? Pressing her lips together to keep herself from saying anything more, she stepped to the edge of the street and scanned the traffic for a cab.
The black car seemed to come out of nowhere. One second it was part of the slow-moving stream, the next it was veering directly toward her.
Reflexively, she jumped back, but her shoes slipped on the wet pavement. Her heel caught the rim of a sewer grate, wrenching her foot sideways. She flailed her arms to catch her balance.
The car accelerated, its wheels throwing up fins of water as it sliced through the puddles. Audra’s first thought was that her good suit was going to get sprayed if she didn’t get out of range. It was a silk suit, part of her new slimmed-down wardrobe. Great. It would have to be dry-cleaned before she met with the realtor tomorrow.
She twisted her foot, trying to work the heel loose from the grate, all the time expecting the driver to steer back to his lane or at least be courteous enough to slow down.
Her heel broke off. Hopping backward, she got to the curb.
The fender of the car struck a newspaper box, sending it spiraling over the hood as the right wheels mounted the curb.
It all happened so fast. Just as Audra realized that the driver wasn’t making any effort to avoid her, she felt Sam’s arms wrap around her waist. He hauled her back against his chest, snatching her out of the way. A split second later, her umbrella was yanked from her hand, caught under the wheels as the car roared past.
There wasn’t enough time to draw a breath for a scream. She dug her nails into Sam’s arm, her entire body shaking as she focused on the heap of torn fabric and twisted metal ribs, all that was left of her umbrella.
“Are you okay?” Sam’s voice was tight with strain. He didn’t loosen his grip.
She tried to nod. “Did you see him? My God, did you see what he did, Sam?”
“Yeah.” He kept one arm anchored solidly at her waist as he turned her away from the street. “Let’s go.”
“No, we have to report that driver. He must be drunk or something.” She twisted to look over her shoulder, but the black car had disappeared into the traffic. “Look what he did to my umbrella.”
“Can you walk?”
“And my suit. This rain is going to ruin...” Her words trailed off. Slowly, she raised her gaze to Sam’s face. “He could have killed me.”
“That was the general idea.”
“Oh...my...God. Sam, he could have killed me,” she repeated, stunned at how quickly everything had become so...real. Her teeth began to chatter. It wasn’t from the rain.
He propelled her forward. “That’s it. We’re going.”
“Where? What are you planning to do?”
“What I should have done in the first place.”
Sam’s shoulders bunched as he swung the axe. The blade whispered through the air, striking the block of wood dead center. The wood split and fell apart, thudding to the growing pile of kindling while the axe blade sank deep into the chopping block.
Releasing the handle, Sam took a step back. His hands were shaking with the urge to hit somebody. No, not just somebody. Fitzpatrick. This was more than a case to him now. It had been more than a case for a long, long time. Now it was personal. The man had crossed the line. The bullet had been an accident. The car wasn’t.
A drop of moisture trickled along the side of his jaw. He didn’t know whether it was from his wet hair or from the cold sweat on his forehead. It had been so close, so damn close. If he’d let Audra send him away, if he hadn’t seen the blur of black out of the corner of his eye, if he hadn’t grabbed her in time—
No, he couldn’t consider that. She was all right. She was here. With him. And he wasn’t going to let her go.
No matter what she said.
He wiped his face on his forearm, then leaned over to pick up the firewood and headed for the shed door.
The bare framework of an old barn, its weathered boards stripped away and sold to trendy decorators, stood silhouetted against the heavy sky. In the neighbor’s field, hay dipped and swayed under swirling gusts of wind. It was only late afternoon, but the daylight had already been swallowed by the thick layer of clouds. Sam ducked his head against the rain and strode across the yard to the house.
Middleton had inherited this place from one of his
grandparents a few years ago. Sam and Bergstrom had used it last fall, when they’d been keeping a witness under wraps before a drug smuggling trial. For privacy the house was ideal, set back from the road, miles from the nearest town, separated from the closest neighbors by hayfields and an apple orchard. At the moment it was vacant, so Middleton had no objection if Sam used the place as a safe house for Audra.
Too bad Audra didn’t feel the same way.
Boards creaked as Sam climbed the wooden steps to the porch. He hooked the screen door open with his toe, then freed one hand to twist the inside knob.
Silence greeted him. It wasn’t empty. He could feel the tension in the air like the charged calm before a storm.
He pushed the door shut and turned the dead bolt, then toed off his wet shoes and carried the wood to the living room. The fireplace was huge, built of rounded stones. that had been painstakingly fitted together, probably by whatever pioneer Middleton ancestor had built the original house. It was meant for warmth, not decoration. Sam hoped that the chimney was still clear enough to draft the fire. He wanted to chase the dampness from the air. He wanted to do something, anything, that would keep his mind from returning to that moment when the car had flashed past—
“I’d like to leave now.”
The wood clattered to the hearth. Sam raked his wet hair off his forehead and turned around to face the room. “No.”
Audra pushed away from the front window and walked toward him. Her feet were bare. Her pale green skirt was still damp, hanging limply to her knees. She’d discarded her soaked jacket on the trip here, but the dash from the car to the house had left wet patches on her white blouse. A shiver rippled over her shoulders as she held out her hand. “Give me your car keys.”
“This is the safest place for you, Audra. Now that Fitzpatrick has shown his hand, he has nothing to lose by trying again.”
“It might have been an accident. I didn’t see who was driving.”
“You don’t believe that car accidentally climbed the curb and tried to run you down, do you?”
“Okay, even if it was deliberate, you’re overreacting.”
“Audra...”
“This isn’t the dark ages. You have no right to keep me here against my will. If I had known what you intended, I never would have let you bring me here in the first place.”
She was right, and that’s why Sam hadn’t explained anything until they’d arrived. “You have to keep out of sight.”
“Until the trial? That’s weeks away. I have other plans. I have obligations. I can’t stay here that long.”
“Disappearing is the best way to ensure your safety.”
“But not the only way. I’ll be more careful next time I go out, okay? There’s no reason for me to stay—”
“If Fitzpatrick wants to take you out, do you think he’ll care who else is in the line of fire? He didn’t care who got hurt when he killed Falco.”
“Yes, but—”
“There were other pedestrians on the sidewalk today. What if the car had hit one of them? What if you’d met Judy after all and she’d been in the way?”
She wavered, then dropped her hand. “That’s not playing fair, Sam.”
“I’m not playing.” He noticed another shiver travel over her body. The moisture on her blouse had turned the fabric practically transparent, and he had a glimpse of a lacy bra before she crossed her arms and stepped back.
Turning around, he knelt in front of the fireplace and stacked the kindling on the grate. “There’s a blanket on the sofa if you’re cold. I think there are some towels in the closet at the top of the stairs.”
“Thank you, I’m fine.”
He tore up a few pages of newspaper, crumpled them and stuffed them under the kindling. The scrape of the match was loud in the quiet room. Sam watched the flame take hold and tried to think like a cop. “The place should warm up in a few minutes, but in the meantime, it would be a good idea to get out of your wet clothes and put on something dry.”
“I am not wearing a towel, Sam.”
His jaw tightened as he stared at the strengthening fire. Despite himself, he could all too easily imagine Audra in a towel. Or Audra in that short, gauzy nightgown she’d worn the night he’d crawled through her window. Or Audra on the couch with her blouse unbuttoned and her bra pushed aside and her lips swollen from his kiss...
“We can check the upstairs bedroom,” he said, his voice rough. “Middleton might have left something you can use.”
“How big is he?”
“One of his shirts would be a good tent.”
“Does he have a wife or a girlfriend who might have left something here?”
“No, definitely not.”
“Wonderful,” she muttered.
“Audra, I apologize for the lack of preparations, but I did what I thought was best at the time.”
“You could have stopped long enough to let me pack a bag.”
Yes, he could have, but then she might have refused to come with him, and if this was the only way he could have her to himself—
No. He was protecting her, that was all. Doing his job. No one was going to get to Audra. He was going to keep her safe until the trial, and then...
And then, afterward, he’d finally have to let her go.
The fire crackled as the kindling ignited. Sam swore under his breath as he threw some thicker pieces onto the flames and moved the spark guard into place.
Who was he fooling? Certainly not himself. He’d known this wasn’t merely a matter of doing his job ever since he’d defied Xavier and taken his vacation time. He didn’t want to let her go. “I’ll phone one of your sisters-in-law and ask her to get some of your things together. I’ll have Bergstrom pick them up.”
“What about the appointments I’ve made?”
“They can be canceled.”
“But—”
“Audra, it’s for your own good.”
The minute he’d said the words, he knew he’d made a mistake. Straightening up, he turned to face her.
Her cheeks, until now pale from cold and fatigue, were flushed with anger. Her damp hair, tipped with gold from the firelight, curled in a wild halo to her shoulders. With her fists propped on her hips and her shoulders thrown back, her wet blouse was pulled tight across her breasts, straining the buttons.
“For my own good,” she repeated through her teeth. “Why does every man in my life think that he knows what’s best for me?”
“You need protection.”
“You’ve done things your way from the moment we met. I’ve had enough, Sam. Do you hear me? I refuse to put up with any more.”
“We’ll be able to work something out, Audra.”
“I didn’t agree to you staying in my apartment, and you expect me to live with you here? Look at this place,” she said, sweeping her arm to encompass the room. “It’s tiny. We’ll be tripping over each other every time we turn around.”
“It’s not that small.”
“What are we going to eat? Where will I sleep? What on earth do you expect me to do with my time? How can I keep seeing you every day when... No,” she said, spinning around and striding across the floor. “I’ll stay out of sight, but I’m doing it on my terms. If you won’t drive me, then I’ll walk.”
“It’s raining.”
“I’m already wet.”
“Your shoe’s broken.”
“I’ll hitch.”
He sprang after her, slapping his hand against the front door before she could grasp the knob. “No.”
“Get out of my way, Sam.”
“I can’t let you go.”
“Then you go.”
“What?”
“If you think it’s so vital to your stupid case that I stay here, then get someone else to do your baby-sitting for you. I already told you, I’ve relieved you of your duty. I don’t need you deciding what’s best for me. I already have plenty of brothers for that.”
He could feel her temper rolling of
f her in waves of heat. His own self-control, already strained, stretched dangerously thin. “I’m not one of your brothers,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Really? Could have fooled me.” She lifted her chin and glared up at him. “You’re sounding just like them. I’m not a child, I’m a woman.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
“Could have fooled me on that one, too. Oh, excuse me. Sometimes, when the adrenaline or the circumstances are right, you do realize I’m a woman. But then you forget about it for my own good.”
“I never forget. Not for one second have I forgotten how your body felt stretched out beneath mine that first night. Or the way your legs felt around my waist. Or how you trembled when I touched you in the dark.”
She started, her mouth dropping open. But then she lifted her finger and stabbed it into his chest. “That was a natural reaction, remember? That’s what you told me. It didn’t mean anything. You shouldn’t mistake it for anything special.”
He heard the pain beneath her words and felt his heart turn over. “I never meant to hurt you, Audra. I respect you too much to take advantage—”
“Take advantage? Oh, spare me the pity. It might have taken me a while to catch on. I might not be as experienced as you are when it comes to sex, but I know when I’m not wanted.”
“Not wanted? Not wanted? Is that what you think?”
Her gaze shone with moisture. “I can’t take any more, Sam. I feel as if I’m being pulled apart. You might be able to turn it on and off without any problem, but I guess I’m not that way. That’s why we can’t stay here together. Get someone else. Or I’ll leave.”
“What do you want, Audra? An apology? You’ve got it. I know I’ve screwed everything up from the start.”
“I don’t need your guilt any more than your pity.”
“I don’t pity you. And it’s not guilt that makes me want to keep you safe.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, her nostrils flaring as she inhaled shakily. “Don’t do this to me.”
“Do you want me to promise not to touch you? Is that it?”
She opened her eyes. Her lips trembled, but she pressed them together without replying.
“Because I can’t promise that,” he went on. “I tried. Damn, I tried, but I broke that promise just like all the others.” He caught her finger, enclosing her hand in his. “I’m wrong for you, Audra. I have no right to touch you but there’s no way in hell I can let you walk out that door.”
Engaging Sam Page 20