by Obert Skye
Bouncer and Neil came rushing out of the tunnel then and stood next to us as we watched Big Bun bound away.
“It’s got Juliet!” I told them. “And it’s heading to town.”
Neil was fidgeting with the remote control in his hand.
“That’s not going to help,” I yelled. “The collar busted and flew off.”
“By my calculations, that’s a problem.”
Rain looked at Neil with disgust. “And people think kids are the problem.”
“We’ve got to get to town!” I said frantically. “He has Juliet.”
“Follow me,” Bouncer said.
“I’m coming, too.” It was Lady Beatrice, and she was standing behind Bouncer.
“Fine,” Bouncer said. “But you’re not my boss. And you’re not in charge. Understand?”
Lady Beatrice looked impressed with Bouncer being so bold.
“I understand,” she said. “I just want to make sure no bunnies are harmed.”
I thought we were all going to have to run to Bouncer’s golf cart, but instead we ran to the old garage and he unlocked the garage door. Bouncer threw the door open, and there was an old tractor and a large truck with a big water tank on the back.
“Does the truck work?” Rain asked.
“It runs,” Bouncer said. “And it’s faster than any golf cart. Get in.”
We all climbed into the truck. It had two rows of seats, but it was still crowded because we had to put Rain in at an angle. He was in the backseat, leaning on Neil, and I was in the front between Beatrice and Bouncer, who was driving.
He turned the key, and the vehicle wheezed and puffed and then finally started up. He pulled out of the garage and drove across the fields where we had set up our trap and toward the front of the sanctuary. The big water tank on the back of the truck was full, and we could hear the water sloshing as the truck drove.
“What’s the water in the tank for?” I asked, wondering if perhaps Beatrice was really a newt and she needed a truck that transported freshwater.
“It’s actually fertilizer,” Bouncer yelled. “They spray it around the sanctuary to feed some of the plants. There used to be a full-time sprayer on the staff, but now there’s only a few people who look after this place.”
Lady Beatrice was bothered. “Stop it. It’s impolite to talk about personal matters. Especially with children.”
“They’re not personal matters anymore,” Bouncer said. “I’m a free man, and I can talk about whatever I want. For example, I don’t like the décor in your house.”
Beatrice looked wounded.
We came to the large wall, and Neil and I got out and opened a huge wooden gate so the truck could get out. We closed it after Bouncer drove through and then hopped back into the truck.
The path we were on was so narrow and the trees around it were so close that the truck scraped the branches on both sides as we drove to town.
“I hope Juliet’s okay,” I yelled.
“Well,” Beatrice said in a snippy way, “I hope everyone’s scared to death and leaving the island.”
“You’re a horrible person,” I told her.
“You’re a child, so it doesn’t matter.”
Lady Beatrice reminded me of Ana Porpoise. She was Admiral Uli’s classmate in school. She thought she was better than everyone else and that her main purpose as a porpoise was to make decisions for everyone else. Uli didn’t like her, and neither did I. Now I was sitting by the human version of a porpoise person, and I was hoping that her door might pop open and she would fly out. Juliet needed us. That was all that mattered, I kept telling myself, even if all I could think about was how much I wanted to get away from Beatrice.
“Are you going as fast as you can?” I asked Bouncer.
He nodded.
We were going way faster than any golf cart. And the Fertilizermobile was breaking branches off trees and bouncing wildly on the road. I turned around and saw that all the jostling had caused Rain to spin in his seat and he was now being forced to stare out the back window at the fertilizer tank.
“Should we go to the police station?” I asked. “Maybe we can get them to use the island sirens to warn people. We could also get Zeke out.”
“No,” Beatrice insisted. “He’s a troublemaker, and I want him locked away.”
Bouncer turned onto a new path, and the trees began to thin out, making it easier to drive.
“Why do you hate my uncle?”
“He used to work for me,” she yelled. “There was an incident! He was helping me organize my books and accounting. I borrowed a few thousand dollars from some of the donations for some personal things and he got mad at me.”
I turned my head and stared at her.
“What do you know?” she snapped. “It was money that someone had donated to the sanctuary, so it was every bit mine. I had to let him go after that, of course.”
“So he was being honest?”
“And impertinent.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It’s the proper way to say he was being a total snot.”
The truck bounced through the trees getting closer to town. I kept my eyes open for any sign of flying people or trees that Big Bun was throwing around. I leaned over Beatrice and rolled down the passenger-door window.
“I wanna listen out for screaming,” I yelled.
Buildings began to appear, and I could see hotels and the outline of the airport. Bouncer slowed down and drove across the stone path that ran along Rabbit Road. There were booths and people everywhere. Carrot Con had officially begun.
“Where do I go?” Bouncer asked.
“I see you’re not good at making your own decisions yet,” Beatrice bullied him.
“No talking,” Bouncer snapped.
As we got closer, we could hear screaming. People were running down the street looking for shelter, seeming terrified and confused. In the distance, I could see Big Bun leap through the air and land on Rabbit Road not far from the world-famous bunny-shaped hotel.
Bouncer slammed on the brakes.
“It’s still getting bigger!” Neil wailed.
Beatrice clapped.
“Spin me around!” Rain demanded. “I want to see!”
I leaned over into the backseat and helped Neil twist Rain’s plastic tube around. Big Bun stood on his hind legs and chirped so loudly that one of the truck windows shattered. He was still holding Juliet tightly in his front paw. She was pounding her fists, kicking her feet, trying desperately to get free. She might have been screaming—I can’t imagine that she wasn’t—but I couldn’t tell from all the noise.
“You created it,” I yelled at Neil and Beatrice. “You have to know how we can stop it!”
“The problem is that we used extracted compounds from rabbits’ teeth to create a growth serum,” Neil answered proudly. “Did you know rabbits’ teeth never stop growing?”
“So it’ll just keep getting bigger and bigger?” Rain asked.
“So majestic,” Beatrice cooed.
“Get me closer to it,” I said to Bouncer.
Bouncer squinted at me and then turned the steering wheel hard so we were heading directly toward the menacing hare. Bouncer drove around the people and Carrot Con–themed booths. Despite the pandemonium, I couldn’t help but notice that one booth was selling cinnamon bunnies and another was selling fake rabbit ears and teeth, and one called Rabbitcadabra was selling bunny-themed magic tricks.
I would have loved for things to be back to normal. Rabbitcadabra had some cool-looking top hats for sale. But things weren’t normal, and Juliet was in serious trouble.
Bouncer drove up as close as he’d dare to get to Big Bun. We stared out the front window. As many people as there were running away, more had their cameras out and were taking pictures of the monster rabbit like he was an attraction for the convention.
“I have a net gun hooked to the back of the truck,” Bouncer said.
“What good would th
at do?” Neil asked. “He’s too big.”
“What about that fertilizer?” I hollered. “We could spray it at him, and maybe he’ll set Juliet down to pick on us.”
“Sounds stupid,” Rain said. “You should try it.”
“That fertilizer has been in there for a while,” Bouncer said worriedly. “It’ll really smell.”
“Even better,” I said. “Maybe he’ll pass out from the stink.”
I quickly scurried over Lady Beatrice and got out of the truck. I ran to the back and climbed up on the side of the metal tank. I found a hose and pulled it around toward the front of the truck. My knees were knocking, and my heart was in my throat, but I had to do something to help Juliet. I turned on the pump and then stood on top of the front of the truck, face-to-face with Big Bun.
Juliet and Big Bun looked down at me. Juliet looked worried, while the rabbit looked curious. He eyed me as I racked my brain for something cool to say.
“Things are about to get stinky!” I yelled.
I pulled open the valve, and the hose shook and then blew fertilizer all over everything. It came out with such force that I couldn’t control the hose. I got some on Big Bun, but I also got it all over myself, Juliet, the truck, Bunny Mooners standing around watching . . . basically, everything. It was gritty and green and smelled so horrible I started to gag. The only smell that could have been worse was the Pungent Piles of Putrid Chum that surrounded the city of Sank in Ocean Blasterzoids.
I shut the hose down and gagged, which caused me to slip on the grossness that coated the top of the truck. I slid down the front windshield and onto the ground as the Rabbit stomped his feet angrily.
Yep, I’d definitely made him mad.
Big Bun began to thump the street. The ground shook like it was an earthquake. Booths fell over. Trees swayed. Two more windows on the truck exploded. Just when I thought the rabbit was going to crack the island in half, it jumped up from the street and headed north. I got back into the truck, climbing in over Beatrice again.
“That smell!” Beatrice screamed. “I believe I will faint.”
“Please do,” I said. “Now go, Bouncer! We have to save Juliet!”
Bouncer took a moment to dry heave and then drove. He rolled over the stone path on the other side of Rabbit Road and around a fallen booth called Hare Products.
The sun was just starting to go down, giving the sky a slight tint of yellow. We drove down a dirt road, and I could see the police station up ahead.
“Stop!” I screamed. “We need my uncle. He’ll know what to do.”
Bouncer skidded to a stop in front of the station.
“Hurry,” he ordered.
I ran into the station, dragging Beatrice with me. I knew she was an old mean woman and I was just a kid, but I needed her to get Zeke out. And if comics had taught me anything, it’s that sometimes small squids can do remarkable things if they just have the guts to do it. I think she was happy to get out of the truck, where there was more air and less smell.
Melanie was behind the counter, frantically talking into the radio as dozens of calls were coming in with questions about the giant rabbit. Melanie looked like she wouldn’t mind dropping everything and having a good cry until she saw Lady Beatrice and froze. Apparently, Carrot Woman had a reputation.
“La . . . Lady Beatrice,” she stuttered. “What’s that smell?”
“Forget about her,” I insisted. “You need to let my uncle out!”
Melanie looked worried. I elbowed Beatrice to remind her that she needed to do her part.
“Fine, fine, fine,” she said. “The boy is correct. I will drop the charges, and you can release him.”
I believe Melanie just wanted Beatrice and the smell out of the station as quickly as possible because she ran back to the cell and let Zeke out. I was so glad to see him, but there was no time for reunions—Juliet was in trouble.
“We have to go,” I told him. “The rabbit has Juliet.”
Zeke looked at Beatrice.
“She just got you out,” I explained. “So for the moment, pretend she’s not completely horrible.”
Beatrice sniffed. “The smell, by the way, belongs to your nephew.”
We ran to the car and Zeke shoved himself into the backseat with Neil and Rain. I got into the front with Beatrice again.
“Go!” I yelled.
Bouncer took off through the trees and toward the east end of the island. I tried to quickly fill Zeke in on everything that had happened while scanning the horizon for any sign of Big Bun. But before Zeke could finish asking questions, he gasped.
Out the front window and in the far distance, we could all see a brown mound of fur and ears hopping over the trees with ease. The last time Zeke had seen Big Bun, he had been about the size of a car. Now he was the size of a blimp and leaping so high the whole island shook each time he came down.
“Go faster!” Zeke demanded. “Don’t be afraid to hit some trees. He’s heading straight to Cottontail Tower.”
Bouncer was doing his best to keep up, but the path we were driving on was awful. He had to continually swerve to miss trees and bushes. He also kept bumping over rocks.
“Once we catch the rabbit, how do we stop it?” Zeke yelled while looking at Neil.
“I don’t know yet,” Neil said.
“Let’s worry about getting Juliet first,” I insisted. “Then we can deal with Big Bun.”
“Of course,” Zeke replied.
“We won’t stop until Juliet is safe.”
“Well,” Neil said, “according to my calculations, that might be harder to accomplish than you think. Big Bun isn’t getting any smaller.”
“We have to try. Juliet is one of the few girls that talk to me,” I complained.
“Oh, I’ve factored all that in,” Neil explained. “I just think our chance of success is pretty much nil.”
“Nil?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he explained.
“No more talking, Neil.” Bouncer wasn’t in the mood. Like it or not, it was time for us to be heroes.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
UNEVEN GROUND
When we got near the cliffs on the east end of the island, Bouncer stopped the truck and pulled up the parking brake. We were on the side of a small sloping hill, looking down at the edge of the island where Cottontail Tower jutted up into the sky. Cottontail Tower was a large, skinny stone that shot upward at least a hundred feet. The locals thought that it resembled a single rabbit ear, but to me that was stretching it. It was shaped more like a rock chimney with a pointed top. From where the truck was parked, we could all see that Big Bun was sitting at the base of Cottontail Tower and holding Juliet. The rabbit was almost half as tall as the stone pillar.
“What’s he doing?” I asked. “He won’t jump off the cliffs, will he?”
“I don’t think so,” Zeke said. “That drop would kill him.”
“I don’t know how to catch a rabbit,” I admitted, “but I know what Uli would do.”
“Squid tactics,” Zeke whispered. “Lead the way, Perry.”
We all got out of the truck. Rain’s legs were asleep, so getting him out was a chore. We found it was easier to roll him over the seat into the front and then pull him out the bigger front door. We stood him up and waited for him to find his footing. As he regained his land legs, I told the group what we were going to do.
“We’re going to split up and move in from five different directions,” I said. “We’ll each take turns distracting Big Bun. While one of us is yelling at him, the others need to move in closer and freeze. Then like a real squid would do, we’ll hold so still that Big Bun won’t even notice us. If we do this right, we can get pretty close to him before he reacts. Zeke will move in closest to the right paw, where Juliet is. When he’s near enough, he’ll grab her feet and wrestle her free.”
Bouncer went to the back of the truck. He opened a compartment and pulled something out.
“I’ve also got this.” In his hands was
what looked like a long gun with a huge barrel. “It’s a net slinger. We use it for netting large herds of bunnies at once. This rabbit’s too big, but if there’s trouble I could shoot the netting over his head and at least it would distract him for a moment.”
“Good,” Zeke said.
“Just don’t hurt that poor creature,” Beatrice insisted.
“I’m not making any promises,” Bouncer said. “You put people in danger. I don’t want to hurt the rabbit, but I will to save the girl.”
I could be wrong, but it looked like once again Beatrice was impressed with Bouncer being so assertive.
“I never wanted anyone to get hurt,” she admitted.
“Well then, prove it by helping us,” I said.
We all moved slowly to our positions making a large semicircle with Big Bun and Juliet in the middle. The rabbit watched us as we took our spots, but he didn’t seem threatened because we weren’t very close. Big Bun shifted and put his left paw around Cottontail Tower. Juliet looked at all of us and tried to figure out what our plan was.
We all stayed perfectly still.
I could hear the waves far down below the cliffs and looked at the dimming sky. We needed to act before it got much darker.
“Hey, Big Bun!” I yelled as loud as I could. “Look at me!”
He turned his head and looked at me with his left eye. As he did, everyone besides me took two slow steps closer to him and froze. I stopped yelling, and Bouncer took a turn.
“Excuse me,” he hollered. “You with the massive ears! Look at me, you big rodent!”
Big Bun moved his head and looked at Bouncer. The rest of us moved closer.
“Over here!” Zeke hooted. “I’m talking to you.”
Slowly, the semicircle contracted. Big Bun kept turning his head to look at who was screaming. The rabbit seemed confused and almost docile. Neil used his turn to distract the rabbit and give us information.
“He might be a little sleepy!” Neil yelled. “He did hop all the way here! He’s still a living creature. He can’t keep going like this without exhausting himself.”
The half circle tightened.
I used my turn to ask, “Are you okay, Juliet?”