by E. L. Todd
A
This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious or used fictitiously. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher or author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.
Fallen Publishing
Abby’s Plight
Cover Design provided by Dinoman Designs
Editing Services provided by Final-Edits.com
Copyright © 2014 by E. L. Todd
All Rights Reserved
ISBN-13: 978-1494480585
ISBN-10: 1494480581
Chapter One
Fernan held her hand as they walked up the street. “Are you coming over, darling?”
Abby still felt the guilt in her stomach. Seeing Toby storm out made her feel like a complete bitch. She never meant to hurt him. “I’m just not in the mood, Fernan…”
He nodded. “I understand. Let me know if you change your mind.”
“Okay.”
“Can my driver take you home?”
“No, I’ll walk.”
Fernan pulled her close to him. “Text me when you get home, please.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
Fernan leaned in to kiss her but his lips didn’t touch hers. Instead, he pressed his mouth against her forehead. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” she said.
Fernan released her and watched her walk away.
Abby didn’t feel like going back to her apartment. She needed someone to talk to, to open up about her plight. She headed to her sister’s place instead. Hopefully she wasn’t too busy with Blaise to give her a few minutes.
When she knocked the door, it was a few minutes before someone answered it. When Alexandra looked at her sister, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you have a hobby?”
“I love you too, sis,” she said sadly.
Alexandra stared into her face and saw the despair. “What happened?”
“Can we talk inside? Or am I not welcome?”
“Shut the hell up and come in.”
They moved to the couch and sat down. Alexandra’s hair was messy and tangled. When Abby looked at the kitchen table, she saw mounds of books stacked high. There were medical books as well as books of law.
“What’s up?” Alexandra asked. “Is it Fernan?”
“No, he’s fine.”
Alexandra waited for her to speak.
“I—I probably should have mentioned this before. I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it.”
“Okay…”
“I’ve been kinda dating Toby.” She stared at her hands, avoiding her sister’s gaze.
“Paul’s brother?”
“Yeah.”
“Since when?” Alexandra asked.
“A few weeks—kinda. Nothing really happened between us until last night.”
“Wow…my sister gets around.”
“You’re one to talk,” Abby snapped.
Alexandra rolled her eyes. “Okay, I deserved that. But I never slept with Paul. Only Blaise. It was always Blaise.”
“And I didn’t sleep with Toby.”
“So, what’s the big deal?” Alexandra asked.
“Toby caught me with Fernan. The whole thing exploded in my face.”
“Well, were you cheating on Toby the whole time?”
“No,” Abby said immediately. “I told him I didn’t want a relationship—many times. I said I never wanted a relationship.”
“I guess he didn’t believe you,” she said simply.”
“Obviously not,” she said with a sigh.
“So, you lost both of them?”
“No,” Abby said. “Fernan says he understands. And he’s willing to wait until I get it out of my system.”
Alexandra smiled. “You really don’t think the guy is in love with you?”
“He said he wasn’t.”
She laughed. “He just said that so you wouldn’t dump him.”
Abby ran her fingers through her hair. “Everything is so messed up. What do I do?”
“What do you mean?” Alexandra asked. “Fernan is the right guy for you. It’s so obvious. He’s like—your other half. Forget about Toby and be with him. He obviously has the patience to deal with your bullshit.”
“But, what do I about Toby?” Abby asked.
Alexandra raised an eyebrow. “I’m not following.”
“He stormed out, clearly upset.”
She shrugged. “He doesn’t want to be with someone else who’s sleeping with other people. It’s a reasonable request. That’s his decision—respect it.”
“But I need to make it right and apologize.”
“And what will that achieve?”
“I don’t know,” Abby said. “I might feel better.”
“Well, it’s not going to make him feel any better so just let it go.”
“I don’t think you should apologize at all.” Blaise walked in, wearing running shorts and a t-shirt.
“What?” Abby asked.
“You said from the beginning you never wanted to be in a relationship, right?”
“Yeah…” Abby watched him sit on the couch next to her sister.
“Then you didn’t do anything wrong,” Blaise said. “You don’t owe this guy anything. You can sleep with whomever you want. I can guarantee he’s done the same thing at some point in his life.”
“I don’t know…”
“Don’t stress about it,” Blaise said. “He’s just mad he isn’t getting his way, which is his problem, not yours.”
Alexandra eyed him. “Sometimes I forget the guy you used to be.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “You should forget. Because he’s never coming back.”
She smiled at him then gripped his thigh.
“Yuck,” Abby blurted.
“And watching you make out with Fernan isn’t disgusting?” Alexandra asked.
“Nope.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Abby, be with Fernan. We love him. And I know you do too.”
Abby raised her hand. “Seriously, stop. Pressuring me won’t make me get anywhere faster.”
“Just let it go,” Blaise whispered to her.
“Thank you,” Abby said.
Alexandra didn’t look happy.
Abby knew that was her cue to leave. “Thanks for all the advice—not.” She walked to the door.
Alexandra followed her. “What did you expect? Why do you care about Toby anyway?”
Abby stopped before she walked through the entryway. “I don’t know.”
“Then forget him.”
Abby didn’t think she could do that. “Bye.” She left the apartment and reached the street. She didn’t want to go home because she kept thinking about Toby. She thought about calling him but she knew he wouldn’t answer. Instead, she called Paul.
“Hey, stranger,” he said. “How are you?”
“I’ve been better…”
“What’s up?”
“Can you give me Toby’s address?”
He paused. “Uh…why?”
“We had a fight…and I’d like to apologize.”
“It seems like all you ever do is fight,” he said with a laugh.
“Yeah,” she said sadly.
“Got a pen?”
“My memory will suffice.”
Paul told her the address. She repeated it back before she hung up. When she headed toward his apartment, she passed a small bakery on the corner. A cheesecake was sitting in the window, and she immediately got an idea. She walked inside then purchased an
entire cheesecake then headed to his place a few blocks down.
When she got to his building, she slipped beside someone with groceries and followed them to the stairs. When she reached the fifth floor, she looked for his apartment number. When she finally found it, she knocked.
Her heart hammered in her chest while she waited for him to appear. He probably looked through the peephole and saw her face. Then he decided to ignore her.
“Please answer the door,” she begged.
Toby opened it. He said nothing while he stared at her, the anger still on his face.
“Hi…”
He said nothing.
“I came to apologize. I was going to tell you everything the next time I saw you.”
Toby ran his fingers through his hair then stared at the ground. His complete indifference irritated her.
“You know what? No, I’m not sorry.” She glared at him. “I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want anything serious. I don’t even know what the hell we were. So if I want to sleep with someone else, I can do whatever I want. It’s not my fault you got hurt. I am sorry that I hurt you, but don’t put all the blame on me. I’m sure you’ve done the same thing to countless girls. It doesn’t feel good, does it?”
He looked up and met her gaze. His face was still unreadable.
She pushed the cheesecake into his arms. “Enjoy.” Then she turned away.
“Wait.”
Abby stopped and turned to him.
He opened the box and looked at the cheesecake. “How’d you know?”
“Paul, obviously.”
He nodded. “Come in.”
She thought she hadn’t heard him right. “What?”
He stepped inside. “Come on.”
She followed him into the kitchen. Toby set the cheesecake on the table then leaned against the counter. His arms were crossed over his chest. “You’re right. I have no right to be mad.”
She never heard him admit he was wrong. She was surprised by the words.
“And you’re right, I’ve done the same thing my whole life. No, it doesn’t feel good.”
Abby looked at her hands.
“I guess…I just really like you. It was a blow I didn’t see coming.”
“I’m sorry…I really am.”
“I know,” he said gently.
“I’m not in a place to be in a serious relationship. In truth, I don’t know what I want. And I’m not sure if I’ll ever know. If you want something serious, you should look elsewhere. I’m not your girl.”
“But you are my girl…”
She sighed. “No, I’m not.”
“I could just go back to my old ways, but it’s not nearly as satisfying. I don’t want that.”
“I don’t know what to say…”
“I wish I could feel nothing for you,” he said. “That would make this arrangement perfect.”
“We could still be friends,” she suggested.
“I don’t want to be friends,” he said firmly.
Abby looked at his apartment and stared at the elegant furniture. It was dark and homely, but beautiful at the same time. “Then what do we do?”
“How long have you been sleeping with him?”
She shrugged. “A few months.”
“Do you love him?”
“I—I don’t know. I don’t think so. But sometimes I think I could. He’s a really great man and friend. He’s made my life a little easier to live.”
He nodded. “Do you love me?”
The question caught her off guard. “I’ve only known you for a month.”
“How is that relevant?” He kept his arms crossed over his chest.
“It’s just—not very long.”
“Answer the question.”
“I—I don’t think so.”
“You don’t sound sure about anything,” he snapped.
“Don’t start,” she said with a sigh.
“So, you don’t love me?”
“I guess not—no.”
“Then why did you come here? Why was it so important to apologize to me?”
She wasn’t sure what he was really asking. “I hurt you and I hated myself for it. I had to make it right.”
“Once again, why would you care?”
“Because I care about you, obviously.”
He moved closer to her. “I think it’s because you feel something more than that.”
Abby crossed her arms over her chest.
“I think you’re in love with me.” He stared her down, waiting for a reaction.
“Well, I’m not…”
“Are you sure?”
The intensity of his look made her uncomfortable. She stepped back.
“Nope.” He grabbed her and dragged her back. “You run away from all real emotion, hide from your problems, and repress your fears. That’s not going to fly with me. I will push you to be stronger, to overcome your past, and take what you really want. You’re in love with me, and I will make you admit it.”
Abby felt glued to the spot. “Don’t waste your time with me. I’m damaged goods.”
“I wish I’d never said that to you. I really do.”
Abby stared at his chest.
“Because it’s not true.”
“Yes, it is.” She felt the tears bubble under eyes. “I’m ruined. I’ll never be what I was before.” She sniffed. When she realized she was going to cry, she covered face. “Fuck. No, I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.”
He grabbed her hands and pulled them down. “Don’t hide from me.”
She jerked away but he held her still. “Stop.”
“No,” he said firmly. He grabbed her face and kissed her tears away. “It’s okay,” he whispered.
The tears fell before she finally calmed herself. She wiped them away quickly.
“It’s okay to cry.” He pressed his face close to hers. “Let it out. The build up of unspent tears is bad for your salt concentration.”
“Did you just make that up?” she asked.
He smiled. “Guilty.”
She laughed slightly. “Asshole.”
Toby kissed her lips gently, silencing her. “I’m always here for you, Abby. Please cry if you need to. How else are you going to get better and move on?”
“I don’t know…”
“Why are you ashamed to cry?”
“I was told not to.”
“By who?” he asked.
“Him…”
“And what else did this fucker say?” His gentle voice was gone, replaced by anger.
“Nothing,” she said quickly.
“Don’t do that,” he said. “Open up to me.”
She stepped back. “This is too much…”
He grabbed her and directed her to his bedroom.
“What are you doing?” she asked as she was pushed back.
Toby threw her on the bed then climbed on top of her. He pinned her down. “We’re going to talk.”
She tried to move but he weighed too much. He was three times her size. One hand could easily crush her skull. “Toby, let me go.”
“No.” He kissed her gently, parting her lips with his own. The touch calmed her down, making her melt. “You know what I noticed?” he whispered.
The loss of his lips made her irritated. “What?”
“I’m the only guy who’s seen your apartment.”
She stared at his face, seeing the victory in his eyes.
“Your boss hasn’t seen it, right?”
“No…”
“What does that tell you?”
“Well, you got it from Paul. That isn’t fair.”
“But you invited me in.” He leaned closer to her. “You let me in.”
“That doesn’t mean anything…”
“For you, it means a damn lot. Abby, open your eyes. I know I’m an asshole, but you’re in love with me. Just admit it and save us some time.”
“I don’t know what love is,” she snapped. “I loved someone who
destroyed my whole world, using me for everything I had, torturing me when I couldn’t get away, and used me until nothing was left. And when he was done, I was left alone, picking up the pieces on my own.”
Toby kept his mouth shut for a moment. But the pain in his eyes was evident. “But I’m not like him. And you know that.”
“I’m a horrible judge of character. What the hell do I know?”
He leaned down and kissed the skin over her heart. “A lot. Believe me, I’m a good guy. And I’ll take care of you.”
“No…” She moved under him. “I don’t want you to take care of me. I just want to forget it happened until it finally goes away.”
“Is that what your boss does?” he asked. “He lets you avoid it, and get away with whatever you want. He preys on your depression so he can get what he wants. He sounds like a fucking asshole to me. With me, you can’t run away. I will make you face your fears and conquer them. If he does nothing, then he doesn’t care about you.”
“Or maybe it’s the opposite…”
“It’s not,” he snapped. “I will fix you.”
“Toby, it’s not your responsibility.”
“It is,” he said. “And when I put you back together, you’ll be mine.”
Abby looked past his face at the ceiling. “Don’t waste your time with me.”
“Too bad,” he said. “It’s my decision.”
“I’m not going to stop sleeping with Fernan.”
He looked wounded by the comment. “Why do you sleep with him?”
“I already said.”
“Elaborate,” he commanded. “Is it because it’s a better work environment?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“Then tell me.”
“He makes me feel good…he treats me right, makes me forget my problems. He’s good in bed…why else do you sleep with someone?”
“You think he’s good in bed?” he asked incredulously.
“He’s the best I’ve ever had.”
“Well, that’s about to change.” His meaning shined in his eyes. “I’ll make you forget his name because I’ll rock your world so hard.”
“Why are you doing this?” she asked. “You deserve so much better, Toby.”
He released her hand then cupped her face. His lips brushed her nose then moved to her lips. His fingers moved into her hair and touched her gently. He shifted his weight, getting closer to her. “Because you’re the one.”