by E. L. Todd
When they reached the sidewalk, Abby sighed. “There is nothing. I’ll give her some time, but if she still doesn’t come around I’ll have to kick her ass.”
Paul chuckled despite the seriousness of the moment. “I’m sure that will help things.” He turned the opposite way toward his apartment. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.” Abby watched him disappear in the crowd before she walked to Fernan’s apartment. Toby dropped her off earlier that morning. It was an emotional time for her. She wanted to lock him in her apartment and never let him leave. She was scared Vance would find her and hurt her, but she was more afraid of never having Toby again. She didn’t realize how much she loved him until it was too late.
Fernan answered the door, but his smile faltered when he saw her frown. “It seems like there’s always something bothering you.”
“It’s just not my week…” She walked inside then tucked her hair behind her ear.
Fernan wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No…”
He kissed her forehead then pulled her to the couch. “I have two ears that get excellent reception. So I’m always ready to listen.”
Abby sighed before she began speaking. She wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. “Fernan, we need to talk…”
“Damn…”
“I know I said I picked you but—”
“Please tell me this is a joke.” He clenched his fists together.
“I’m sorry…”
“So he wants you back?”
“No. He wants nothing to do with me.”
Fernan raised an eyebrow. “I’m thoroughly confused.”
“I’ve come to realize that I love Toby in a different way than I love you. Our relationship doesn’t make sense, it’s not simple, and it’s full of arguments, but he’s the one I want, in an odd way. Even if he doesn’t want me, never wants me, I can’t be with you knowing I feel this way. It’s not fair to you.”
“What if I’m okay with it?”
Abby was astounded by the comment. “You deserve so much better, Fernan.”
“But all I want is you.”
She held her hands together, interlocking her fingers. “I can’t do that…”
He sighed deeply. “If Toby doesn’t want you and never wants to get back together, what’s the point of us breaking up?”
“Because I should be alone until I’m over him. One day I’ll feel better and I’ll be ready to move on. But until then, I’m not going to mess around and break more hearts. Being with two men at once was a stupid idea. I shouldn’t have done it.”
“You didn’t know you were going to fall so deeply,” he said quietly.
“I know, but it was still a stupid decision.”
Fernan leaned back on the couch then crossed his legs. “What does that mean for us?”
“We can be friends.”
Fernan looked disappointed. “I’d rather have some of you than none of you.”
“I can find another job if that will make it easier…”
“No,” he said quickly. “I don’t want that.”
“Okay.”
“Would you give me another chance…maybe in the future?”
She nodded. “Of course. But right now, I’m too in love with Toby to commit to someone. And you shouldn’t wait around for me. I’m sorry I’ve dragged you through the mud, damaged your heart, and hurt you so much. I never meant to do that.”
He placed his arm around her shoulder. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”
“You shouldn’t…”
“You always forgive those you love. It’s the best thing you can do.”
Abby stared at his handsome face, admiring the light stubble on his chin. “If things were different, I would have fallen madly in love with you, Fernan.”
“Hopefully things are different someday.” He gave her a smile, although it was extremely weak. “Timing is everything, and we just don’t have it.”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“I hope Toby changes his mind. He has the love of a perfect woman. He needs to realize that.”
Her heart ached at his words. “God, you’re so fucking sweet.”
He chuckled. “I mean it. I want you to be happy, even if it isn’t with me.” He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger on her skin for a long moment. “My parents will be disappointed. I’ll have to find an excuse.”
“Why?”
“I already said you were coming.”
“Fernan, I would still love to meet your family. If you want me to, that is.”
“You would?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “You don’t have to.”
“No, I want to. I’ll do anything to help you.”
He smiled. “Really? You’ll be my girl?”
“Of course. Now your parents will stop riding your ass.”
“How about we turn up the heat a little, then?”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Could we be married?”
Abby’s heart raced. “Won’t your parents be offended you didn’t invite them to the wedding?”
He shrugged. “My mom may be a little hurt, but her joy at my marital status will make that resentment insignificant. My parents are getting really old. They had me late in life. And I know it would make them happy if they thought I was happy, having a family.”
Her eyes softened. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is,” he said firmly. He rose from the couch and walked into this room. When he returned, he held a small box. “Will you do me the honor of marrying me for a day?” He opened the box, revealing a white gold diamond ring. It was an antique, looking ancient. “It belonged to my grandmother,” he explained.
“It’s beautiful,” she said with watering eyes.
Fernan placed it on her finger then kissed her hand. “I always knew my wife would be gorgeous.”
Her eyes softened. “You’re so sweet.”
“Please wear this tomorrow.”
“I won’t take it off until then. That way I can get used to it. It’s a little heavy. Plus, I’ll lose it.”
His eyes widened. “Then please wear it at all times.”
“I will.”
Fernan stared at her affectionately. “I hope I get to propose to you again someday.”
Abby felt the emotion leave his pores and burn into hers. The guilt and pity washed through her. She wished she hadn’t dug herself into such a massive hole. She hurt two men she loved, and continued to hurt them. She hoped she was making the right decision now. There was a lot of baggage she had to take care of.
Chapter Fifteen
Every time Abby went home, she always took a different route, not sure if she was being followed. She knew she was being paranoid, but she’d rather be safe than sorry. When she arrived at her apartment, she heard someone behind her.
“Hey.” Toby approached her door, his hands in his pockets.
Abby was surprised to see him, especially at her apartment. “Hey. I haven’t seen Vance anywhere.”
“Good.” He leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.
Abby waited for him to say something or leave. It didn’t seem like he intended to do either one. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” He scratched the back of his head then rubbed his chin.
Abby wasn’t buying it. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve just been thinking…”
She felt her heart race in her chest. Maybe he changed his mind about everything.
“About us.”
Her heart fluttered. “Yeah?”
“I…this has been hard for me, harder than I make it seem.”
“It’s been hard for me too.”
He stepped toward her, his face inches from hers. “If you are really serious about us, I think we could make it work.”
She released the air from her lungs then wrapped her arms around him. She squeezed him so tightly that
he chuckled. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.” He pulled away then grabbed both of her hands. When his thumb touched the ring he flinched. His gaze focused on the shining engagement ring, the diamond catching a rainbow.
Abby felt her heart fall when she realized how bad the situation looked. “I can explain…”
“You’re engaged to him?” The anger escaped his voice, formidable and strong. “You declared your love for me, saying you should have picked me, then you get engaged to him the very next day?” He shook his head, pain etched into his eyes. “Fuck you, Abby.”
“No,” she said quickly. “It’s a long story, but I broke up with Fernan yesterday. I ended it—permanently.”
“It looks like it,” he said sarcastically.
“I’m not lying. His family is coming from Italy, and they always harass him for being single. He wants to pretend we’re married so they’ll be happy. That’s it. I just wanted to wear the ring so I could get used to it.”
His eyes widened in anger. “I really fucking hate liars.”
“Toby, I’m not lying.”
“I feel so stupid.” He smacked himself in the head. “I shouldn’t have gone after you. You aren’t worth the effort.”
The words pained her heart. “Toby, I’m not lying.”
“We’re done.” He stepped back. “I’ll be here for you because of our deal, and I’ll protect you from Vance no matter what, but our romance is done. I thought you would go to Fernan and end it on your own. That would prove to me that you loved me. But you didn’t and you never will. So we’re through.”
“No! I did end it with Fernan. I swear.”
Toby was already headed down the hallway. “Goodbye, Abby.”
She chased after him until she reached the stairs. “Toby, I swear on my sister’s life I’m not lying.” The tears fell down her face.
“The sister who’s ex-boyfriend you’ve been spending so much time with? Who kissed you? Who sleeps at your house all the time? Yeah, it seems like you really care about her.”
The insult halted her advance. Toby continued down the stairs until his footsteps were no longer audible. Unable to get up, she sat on the staircase and clutched herself, giving into the sobs of grief.
Her neighbor walked past her but didn’t stop. Abby wasn’t sure if it really happened. She clutched herself and sobbed, unable to believe that she lost Toby again, even though she did nothing wrong. There was nothing she could say to prove anything to him. He was gone.
Abby finally pulled herself back together and returned to her apartment. She left all the lights off and moved to the couch. The moonlight gave her some illumination. She could see the painting Toby got for her on the wall. It used to bring her joy but now it just brought her pain.
Her phone rang a few times but she didn’t bother answering it. There was no one in the world who could make her feel any better, no one who could take away the pain. But she knew she deserved to suffer. After what she did to Fernan and Toby, she should feel every second of despair. It seemed fitting.
Her phone rang for the fifth time, so she fumbled in her purse to find it. Before she turned it off, she glanced at the screen and saw Blaise’s name. Curious, she answered it.
“Hello?” she asked.
“Hey, it’s Blaise.”
“I have caller ID,” she said sarcastically.
“Don’t be a smartass,” he snapped.
“What’s up? Is Alex okay?”
“She fine,” he said. “I wanted to talk about the trip we’re taking to her parents.”
“I feel bad for you.” She rolled her eyes. “My parents are a piece of work.”
“I want you to come with us.”
“My sister made it clear she doesn’t want me around.”
“Well, she’s being unfair,” he said simply. “Honestly, I think she’s more upset you kissed Paul than anything else…which bothers me.”
“She isn’t in love with him anymore,” Abby said immediately. “She loves you, Blaise. That’s why she’s marrying you.”
“I know. It just bothers me.”
“Don’t let it get to you.”
He sighed. “Anyway, I know Alex would want you there. We need to get this done so we can have our wedding.”
“You have plenty of time,” Abby reminded him.
“I’m not the one in a hurry. She is.”
“Why?” Abby asked.
Blaise was quiet for a moment. “Maybe you should talk to her about this.”
Her heart raced. “Blaise, tell me.” The command in her voice surprised her. She’d never been more serious in her life.
“Well…they say it’s bad to fly when you’re past your first trimester….”
Abby covered her mouth. “Oh my god.”
Blaise’s smile was evident over the phone. “I’m going to be a father.”
“OH MY GOD!” Abby immediately jumped to her feet, the excitement coursing through her. Tears bubbled under her eyes. “I’m so happy right now.”
“I am too.”
“Congratulations!”
“Thanks.” Blaise laughed lightly. “That might be why Abby is more emotional than usual.”
“I’m coming over.” Abby grabbed her purse and headed to the door.
“What?”
“I need to see my sister.”
“She’s still upset—”
“I don’t give a shit. We can both stop being a brat for ten minutes to enjoy this moment.” She hung up then sprinted out the door. When she arrived at her sister’s apartment, she banged on it frantically. Blaise finally opened it, but before it was completely ajar, Abby moved inside.
Alexandra looked up from the kitchen table. Textbooks were scattered around her, and her computer was sitting in front of her. “What are you doing here? Abby, I don’t want to talk right now.”
Abby glanced at Blaise and realized he hadn’t said anything to Alexandra. Abby stepped toward Alexandra and ignored the glare on her face. She was still pissed. “Alex, I’m so happy for you.”
“What?” she asked.
Abby looked at her stomach.
Alexandra immediately looked at Blaise. “You told her?”
“She’s the aunt. She deserved to know.”
Abby wrapped her arms around her sister and felt her tears fall. “Congratulations. This is so amazing.”
Alexandra flinched in her arms. She pulled away and looked at Abby, seeing the tears fall.
“I’m so excited to be an aunt.” She wiped her tears away.
Alexandra’s eyes softened. “I’m excited too.”
Abby hugged her again and held her for a moment. “This is incredible. You’re going to be an amazing mother.”
“You think so?”
“No. But I’ll help you.”
Alexandra laughed. “Thanks.”
Abby rubbed her back. “So we need to move up the date of the wedding?”
Alexandra pulled away and nodded. “I don’t want to look like a cow on my wedding day.”
Blaise rolled his eyes. “You could never look like a cow.”
“You’ll see,” she said.
“And I look forward to it.” He placed his hand on her stomach. “I’m already hot just thinking about it.” He gave her a dark look, smoldering.
Abby smiled at the affection between them. “You guys are going to be so happy.”
“I know,” Alexandra said.
“Are you going to drop out of school?” Abby asked.
“I don’t know…” Alexandra patted her stomach. “I don’t see how I can be a full-time mom and go to school at the same time. And I feel uncomfortable leaving my baby with a stranger.”
“I’ll watch her.”
Alexandra narrowed her eyes. “Her?”
Abby shrugged. “I just think it’s a girl.”
“I do too,” Blaise said.
Alexandra’s eyes softened. “You would do that?”
“Of course,” Ab
by said. “We’re a team. And Fernan wouldn’t care if I took her to work. His office is soundproof. We’ll do whatever it takes to make this work.”
Blaise placed his hand on her shoulder. “Or you can stay home. I have more than enough money to support us.”
“But I want to be a doctor,” Alexandra said.
Blaise kissed her forehead. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
“And Martha can help,” Abby said. “She’d do anything for you.”
Alexandra nodded. “She would.”
Abby clapped her hands together. “This is so exciting. When did you find out?”
“The other day.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” Abby was hurt.
“I was going to. We were just…fighting.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Abby said firmly.
Alexandra nodded then grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry.”
Abby felt her tears bubble. “I’m sorry too. I’ll never lie to you again.”
“I know.”
They held their hands together, tears bubbling under their eyes.
“Will you be the godmother?” Alexandra asked without preamble.
Abby was shocked her sister asked her. She had no experience with kids and her life was always unstable. “What? You want me?”
“Of course,” she said. “There is no one better.”
“But I’m…all over the place.”
“For now,” Alexandra said gently. “But you’ll find where you belong soon.”
Abby already knew where she belonged, but she could never be there again. She ruined what she had, and now she lost everything—everything that meant anything to her. “I hope so…”
Alexandra looked her straight in the eye. “I know so.”
Chapter Sixteen
Fernan finished cleaning the living room and put the supplies away. When he was finished, he looked at Abby and spotted the unease on her face. “Don’t be nervous.”
Abby was pulled back to reality at his words. She was thinking about Toby and the last conversation they had. “Huh?”