by Janette Oke
"I'll be praying for you, josh"
I didn't feel that I needed much prayer at the moment. All my prayersand my dreams-had finally been answered. With a light step I started out for Camellia's, leaving the team tied in the churchyard. There wasn't much room for hitching horses outside the boardinghouse, and in the middle of the business day I was sure all of the room would be taken. I had been to see Mrs. Foggelson several times over the years since she had taken up residence in the rambling building.
I paced myself so that it was three-thirty-one when I was let into the boardinghouse hallway, and a moment later I was knocking on the door marked Number Four, my heart knocking just as hard on the inside.
Camellia answered the door. She took my hand and drew me in, exclaiming as she did so, "Mamma has just been telling me how kind you've been over the years, josh. I will never be able to thank you"
But Camellia was wrong. The light in her eyes was more than enough to thank me for the little I had done.
She led me into the small, crowded room that served as Mrs. Foggelson's parlor, sewing room, and living quarters. It was even more crowded now, with Camellia's luggage and packages littered about the room.
"Please excuse our mess;" Camellia said with a wave of her hand and pushed aside enough packages for me to find room on the sofa.
"I haven't had time to put things away," she explained, then sighed deeply. "And I have no idea where I'll find room to put it when I do get the time:" A silvery laugh followed the words. It was so much like Camellia, so vitally alive-and unpredictable.
She turned to me then and looked me over carefully again. I blushed under her frank scrutiny and shifted uncomfortably.
"Oh, Josh," she began, "it is so good to be home"
I looked at this beautiful girl-turned-woman. All the things that I longed to be able to express died in my throat. I could only nod and mumble something about it being good to have her home again.
The dress she was wearing was unlike anything I had seen before. The collar was high and shaped to highlight her face; the bodice fitted her wellshaped waist and then flared out in a skirt that swirled as she moved. The sleeves came down to her wrists and tapered to a point over the back of her hand. The color was a soft blue-green, and it accented her hair and eyes beautifully.
"Where do we start?" she was saying. "We have so much to catch up on.
Then she swung toward me. "Oh, my! My manners. Let me take your coat and hat:"
That special gift was secreted carefully in my coat pocket. I was twirling my hat nervously in my hands. She laid them both on a chair nearby.
"Would you like some tea?" she asked.
I nodded and said that would be nice. I really didn't care for tea, but I hoped by drinking it my tongue might be loosened.
"Mamma had to deliver some sewing," Camellia informed me as she went about putting the kettle on to heat on an electric plate on a small corner table. I hadn't even thought to wonder where Mrs. Foggelson was.
"She said she wouldn't be long"
I hoped that Mrs. Foggelson didn't hurry too much.
I watched Camellia as she put the tea in the pot and tapped her trim foot impatiently, waiting for the kettle to boil. Then she poured the water, drew two plain white cups from a small shelf, and set them on the table. There was hardly room for the cups and saucers, so after Camellia had poured the tea she brought me my cup.
"So, Joshua Jones;' Camellia said in a teasing voice as she settled herself on the sofa beside me, "what have you been doing with yourself in the past million years?"
She emphasized the million, and I found myself agreeing. In fact, the last twelve days had seemed about that long.
"Nothing, really," I answered. "Farming."
"Mamma says that you are really knowledgeable about farming. That you are trying new things and-"
Secretly I blessed Mrs. Foggelson for saying something nice about what I had been doing at the farm. I was also excited to know that the two of them had been talking about me.
"Some," I cut in modestly. "But mostly I've been just waiting-an' praying."
Camellia's teasing eyes sobered.
"I know," she said in not much more than a whisper. "And I thank you.
She sipped her tea slowly and then set her cup aside. I was surprised to see that tears had gathered in her eyes.
"I honestly don't know why you and Willie didn't give up on me long ago. I was so stubborn. So blind. I don't know why I couldn't see that you were telling me the truth all the time. That you were only interested in my good.
"Do you know what I used to think?" she said after a pause. "I used to think, `These people are dumb. They are unlearned and they have one thing in mind only. To get me to be just as dumb and dependent as they are so that they can chalk up points for saving the most people' That's what I actually thought. It was a long time until Willie could convince me that he was really concerned about me. That he knew that without God I was lost, doomed for eternity, and he cared about me."
Camellia twisted a coppery curl around a finger as she spoke. With all my heart I wanted to reach out and take one of those curls in my fingers but I held myself in check.
"And then this-this thing with Mamma and Papa happened. I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't bear to think of them living in two houses, many miles from one another.
"I had always been a daddy's girl. You know that. Well, I was sure that this whole thing must be Mamma's fault. I hated her. Honestly, Josh, I hated her. I couldn't understand why she had done this to Papa. I knew that she had at one time believed in God. I decided if she could do that to my papa and still pretend to have known the truth-even if Papa had forbidden her to go to church-then I wanted no part of religion"
She sighed and flipped her hair back from her face.
"Well, Willie still wouldn't give up. He kept inviting me to Bible studies and to church and we had lots of talks and arguments-" She stopped and laughed as she recalled.
"Then one day I did-I'll never know why-I did agree to go to a Bible study with him. Well, that was the beginning:" She laughed again.
"And who would have ever dreamed the end?" she said and her eyes shone. "I was home alone in my room one night, reading over again the portion we had read in Bible study. It was John 5:24: `I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life' Suddenly I believed it. I really believed it! Somehow I understood. I was evil, I knew that, but I could, by believing and accepting, pass from death to life.
"I have always been afraid of death, Josh. I wanted life. So, alone there in my room, I turned my life over to God, thanking Him that His Son had taken my condemnation, just as the verse said. And now I am enrolled in Willie's Bible college instead of working at the telephone office"
"Really?" I said excitedly. "I didn't know that:'
"Really! And I am learning so much, but there is so much that I don't know. Now I wonder how in the world I could have been so-so stupid as to believe all of those lies:"
"Blinded;' I corrected.
"Blinded-and stupid;' she finished with a laugh.
I set my cup aside. I had wanted to hear all about Camellia's conversion, but I wanted to talk about other things, too. If she was enrolled in college then-
"So you aren't staying home here, with your ma?" I asked. I didn't know if I was ready to hear her reply.
"Oh no," she answered quickly. "We only have a week"
"We?"
"Willie and I"
Of course. I had forgotten that they were both going to the same school now. They would need to be back to classes at the same time.
"Willie should be here any minute," she said, eying the clock impatiently.
"Willie?" I puzzled.
She looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes. "We have something to tell you;' she said. "Willie made me promise not to tell until he came"
So Willie was coming. I
thought of the gift in my coat pocket. If Willie was expected soon, I'd best get some business done. I cleared my throat.
"I was wondering;' I began cautiously. "I mean, well-I've missed you so much-being friends-and I was wondering, seeing you won't be here long and will need to get back to classes, if we could make the most of the days you have, sorta get to know one another again?"
It was a long enough speech for a fellow as tongue-tied as I was, but not too articulate.
"Oh, Josh!" Camellia cried, clapping her hands together. "I was hoping we could. I might have been bullheaded and mean, but I did appreciate you, and the Christian stand you took, and your prayers over the years. I was hoping-"
"How about tomorrow?" I cut in. "Would you like to go for a ride tomorrow? Maybe visit the farm?"
Her face fell.
"Oh, Josh. I'm sorry, but tomorrow I am to go to visit Willie's folks."
Willie's folks!
"Sunday?" I asked.
She made a face. "And Sunday Willie is coming here to have dinner with Mamma and me"
It seemed that a good share of Camellia's time had already been spoken for. I was a bit annoyed with Willie. He could have her company when they got back to school. Still it was understandable that he should want his folks to spend time with her. They had been praying for her, too.
"Well-" My next invitation was interrupted by a knock at the door. And I still hadn't had opportunity to give Camellia her gift.
Camellia sprang to answer the door, and just as we had both expected, Willie stood there, a big grin on his face. Camellia took his hand, much as she had taken mine, and drew him into the room.
Only she didn't drop Willie's hand. She stood there holding it and I saw Willie's fingers curling possessively around Camellia's.
"I haven't told him," she glowed. "It was so hard, but I kept my promise."
Willie dropped Camellia's hand, and his free arm stole around Camellia's waist, drawing her to him.
"Josh," he said, "because you are so special to both of us, we wanted you to be the first one to know"
I felt my throat go dry.
"Camellia and I are going to be married;' beamed Willie as a radiant Camellia reached up to place a hand lovingly on his cheek.
I was glad I was still seated on the sofa. I knew that my legs would never have held. The room seemed to whirl around and around, and I was being swept along helplessly by the tide of a dark, bottomless sea. Then, just before my head went under, I realized that I was being watched, that someone was waiting for an enthusiastic response from me regarding the announcement that had just been made.
CHAPTER 17
Christmas
"I do believe that we took josh totally by surprise!"
Willie's voice roused me from my stupor. I looked toward the sound and saw Willie with his arm still around Camellia, his face lit up with a broad grin.
Camellia was smiling, too. She turned to give Willie a kiss on the cheek and then moved from his arm and came toward the sofa where I was sitting.
"Isn't it wonderful?" she enthused. When I was unable to answer she continued, "Didn't you even guess?"
I shook my head slowly, still unable to express myself in words.
Willie had joined Camellia and reached out his hand toward me.
"We wanted our good friend to be the first to know-after our parents, that is. I told my folks and Camellia told her ma, but that's all. We knew that you would be-"
"Oh, Josh;' cut in Camellia, "I could hardly keep our secret. If it hadn't been for you, all the years of telling me that I was wrong, all the years of praying, I might never have become a believer:'
"And I would be going to the mission field all alone;' Willie added rather soberly.
The spinning room was beginning to slow down. I could hear all the words that were spoken to me, but they still seemed unreal, and I wondered momentarily if I was having a bad dream.
Willie reached down and pulled me to my feet. He thumped me on the back and squeezed my left shoulder, and the pounding seemed to start my blood flowing again.
"I want you to be my best man;' he was saying.
I found my voice then. I even managed some kind of a smile. "Sure;' I said. "I'd be-Id be honored:'
Willie slapped my back again. "Caught you by surprise, eh?"
I nodded. "Sure did;' I was able to respond honestly. "Sure did"
And then Willie, interrupted often by Camellia, began a full account of their courtship and Willie's proposal and Camellia's acceptance. I didn't want to hear it, not a word of it-but I could hardly get up and walk out on my two best friends. I grinned-shakily, I'm sure-and nodded from time to time, and that seemed to be enough to satisfy them.
I wondered how soon they would be married, but I didn't ask. I figured that I'd find out eventually.
`And we're going to be married right here, in our little church;' Willie was saying.
I did my smile-and-nod routine. Uncle Nat would have the wedding.
"I just wish we didn't need to wait," Willie went on.
"Wait?" I echoed.
"For Camellia to finish her training. I'll be done in the spring, but Camellia is just starting. She won't take four years of straight Bible courses, but she will do a couple of semesters and then go on to take classes in nursing, so that means a long wait:"
I was about to ask when the wedding would take place when Camellia cut in.
"It's going to seem such a long, long time," she moaned, "but I know God can help us. Willie will put in one term on the field; then when he comes home for furlough we'll be married, and I will join him."
"How long is a term?" I found myself asking.
"Four years;' groaned Camellia.
"Four years?" I didn't mean to say the words. They just popped out.
Willie's arm went around Camellia again. "Four years;' he repeated. "A long time-but I can wait"
I didn't see anything particularly heroic about that, though I didn't say so. I would have waited four years for Camellia, too.
"Jacob waited seven years;' Camellia reminded us, and Willie added quickly, "And then worked another seven"
They looked at one another and smiled. The whole scene was getting to me. I knew I had to get out of there. I pulled my watch from my pocket and studied its face. The time really didn't register, but I tried to look surprised and mumbled something about the fact that I really had to be going.
"I know you're awfully busy," said Willie, "but we have a whole week here at home. I hope we can get together often while we're here. We really would love-"
So that's the way it was. Willie and Camellia. It was no longer me for either of them. It was we now, and I was still just me.
"Yeah. Sure;' I said. "Lots of time. We'll-we'll get together."
"That sleigh ride, Josh;' cut in Camellia. "That sounds like so much fun. I hope we can work that in:"
"Sure;' I said. "Any time. Just let me know when it will work out."
"Hey," said Willie, pounding me on the back again as I shrugged into my coat, "I've got an idea. Why don't we ask Mary to join us? Make it a foursome? What do you think?"
Camellia was already clapping her hands. "That would be so much fun!"
"Sure;' I said, trying hard to grin. "Sure-whenever you can make it."
I managed to escape then. I found my way out of the boardinghouse into the crispness of the winter afternoon. The cold air helped me get my bearings. Already the sun was hanging very low in the sky. Snow was beginning to fall in light, scattery flakes. The cold wind promised that choring would be much harder over the next few days.
But I didn't care. In fact, I welcomed the extra work. Something good and solid and demanding would help my whirling brain to sort through the news that had just been enthusiatically shared.
I still couldn't grasp it. Here I had waited and prayed for years for Camellia to become a Christian so that-so that I could feel right about asking her to be my girl. Then she finally becomes a Christian, and what happ
ens? My friend-my best friend Willie gets there first.
I shook my head to clear it; then I realized that I was hurrying down the street in the dead of winter with my coat flapping in the breeze instead of buttoned like it should be. I fumbled with the buttons. There seemed to be a bulge in the right pocket. Then I remembered-the cameo! My special gift to Camellia. My face felt hot, even with the wind blowing cold against it. I would have given it to her, too! exploded through my mind. If Willie hadn't come when he did, I would have made a complete fool of myself. To think I had been dumb enough to look for a piece of jewelry with a ring to match. My face burned with humiliation.
Aunt Lou called to me as I unhitched the horses from the churchyard, but I just waved at her and shouted that I didn't have time to stop.
The horses were in a hurry to get home to a warm barn. They had been standing in the cold for too long. I let them pick their own speed and didn't even bother driving them much.
Grandpa and Uncle Charlie were both in the kitchen when I came in from settling the horses to change my clothes for choring. They seemed to look me over real good, and I was determined that I wasn't going to let anything show.
"Your friends get home?" asked Grandpa.
I nodded.
"How's Willie? Changed much?" put in Uncle Charlie.
I shrugged. "Some;" I said.
"Like how?" This was Grandpa again.
"He's-he's bigger. Broader. Almost done his schooling. More grownup, I guess:"
"Grown-up," chuckled Uncle Charlie. "Never thought that Willie would actually grow up."
I defended Willie then-after all, he was my friend. "Well, he is," I said stubbornly. "He's even gonna get married:"
"Willie?"
"To whom?"
"To Camellia," I stated boldly.
I hadn't wanted to say that. In fact, I hadn't even been able to admit that truth to myself yet, and now saying it out loud made me feel like I was shutting and bolting a door to a beautiful room.
"Camellia?"
"You mean, the teacher's daughter? The one that just became a Christian?"
I nodded, my eyes dropping to my boots.
I could sense Grandpa and Uncle Charlie both studying me, and then their eyes turned back to one another. I didn't even look up, just moved toward the stairs.