by Pamela Aares
But Tyler was the heart of her life. It made sense she’d worry over him.
She’d called the cellphone she’d bought for Tyler. And to her horror she heard it ring in the small drawer under the counter. She should’ve double-checked that he’d put it in his pack. She’d been distracted that morning by the disturbing feelings her dream had left swirling in her and by her upcoming meeting with Adrian.
She was still distracted.
After a quick lunch in a café near the gardens, Adrian had insisted on driving her home. When she’d insisted that she had errands to run in town, he’d offered to accompany her and then drive her home. She’d made a quick excuse about meeting a friend near the café. He’d conceded but asked if she’d like to hike Mount Saint Helena the following weekend. She was so rattled from making excuses for why he couldn’t drop her at her house, she’d said yes to the hike before she’d thought twice.
She needed to get her thoughts in order, get her life on track. Save some money and get out of Inspire. Mary had helped her fill out an application for one of the new low-income housing units just three blocks on the other side of the town center. In a month, if she was lucky, she and Tyler would have a brand new home of their own. A home that her salary at Casa del Sole would easily pay for. But she couldn’t afford distractions. And Adrian was one heck of a distraction.
Just as she was considering calling the police, Tyler bounded through the doors all smiles and with tales of his day at the YMCA’s baseball day camp.
Maybe she did worry too much. But how much was too much?
He drank the glass of apple juice she set before him in four quick swallows. “The guys are playing a pickup game in the park. Can I go?”
“Aren’t you tired, honey? You’ve been playing baseball all day.”
“Mom, I’m ten,” he said almost somberly. “I could play baseball for twenty-four hours straight.”
She had to laugh.
“Okay, but be back in an hour. You have homework.”
She opened the drawer and handed him the cellphone. He took it with a sheepish grin and stuffed it into the pocket of his jeans. Then he fished in his other pocket and drew out an envelope. “Mary said to give this to you.”
She looked down at the envelope that had been sent through the safe-house mail system. She read the first three lines of the letter and her heart stopped in her chest.
Chapter Six
PETEY ANSWERED NATASHA’S CALL ON THE fourth ring.
“It’s Tash.”
“You think I would’ve answered if I hadn’t thought it was you?”
His friendly chuckle was a welcome sound. She should’ve just given Petey her number, not made him jump through the protective hoops that the shelter had put into place, procedures that kept the women and children at Inspire safe and undiscoverable. Anyone who wanted to communicate had to send mail to the central office in San Francisco. No one was allowed access to the addresses or phone numbers of the “guests” at Inspire. All cellphones had to have location services turned off. And none of the women were allowed to have visitors. Not on campus. It made for awkward moments for some of them who had school-age children. But following the protocol kept danger at bay.
When she’d received the forwarded note from Petey asking her to call him, an ominous feeling had clutched at her. A feeling she tried to ignore. Anxiety made her crazy, made her make bad decisions. Maybe he was just checking up on her.
“Your timing is perfect, Petey. I want you to come on a picnic with Tyler and me. He’s grown. You won’t recognize him.”
“Tash, it’s been less than a week since I helped you two pack up and get out of that fleabag motel. He can’t have grown that much.”
She laughed. Petey always knew how to make her laugh.
When Petey had offered to let her and Tyler live in his place for a few weeks, she’d considered it. But his neighborhood was worse than the one she’d left behind. His neighbor had been shot dead in crossfire while washing his windows. The motel had been safer but horribly depressing. The greedy proprietor had done her a favor by forcing them to leave.
“You doin’ okay?” For a big man, he had the gentlest voice.
“Amazing. I mean, I don’t like being in the shelter, but it’s comfortable and the people are nice. Helpful. The director helped me get a job. I’m gardening again.”
“Never understood why you love diggin’ around. My people did everything they could to stop all that. I’ll take bright lights and city life any day. I’m thinking about taking that job in Vegas.”
But he wouldn’t. His family lived just south of San Francisco. For Petey, family came first. She heard the edge in his voice. They were dancing around the reason he’d written to her.
“Petey, tell me what’s up.”
“Never could hide anything from you.”
He told her about Eddie coming into the casino. Again.
“Are you sure it was Eddie?”
“He gave me his name and card this time. But he believed me when I said I didn’t know where you were. Hell, I don’t know where you are. From the way he interrogated me, it’s probably a good thing. I’m guessing he’s a pro.”
“A pro?”
“That he’s had some training. PI or Fed. Maybe a cop.”
Her mouth went dry. She cleared her tightening throat. “Oh, Petey.”
“He said he’s looking to make amends to people he’s wronged. Some AA thing. Sounded true to me.”
“He’ll have to make do with apologizing to other people. I don’t want him ever knowing anything about Tyler.”
“I think you’re safe there. He said he had to go out of the country on business. He seemed like a man short on time, nervous-like. He’s probably long gone by now. You know how those rich boys are. Fickle-hearted bastar—”
He stopped before finishing the word.
“It’s okay, Petey. I’ve heard the word before. Thanks for keeping my secret.” Her pulse had slowed at the news that Eddie—if it really had been Eddie—was leaving the country. Good riddance. “I’m glad he’s leaving. I still look over my shoulder way too much.”
“Sorry to have to bring all this up, but I thought you should know. Be prepared, just in case.”
“It’s another world over here.” She wasn’t allowed to say where. Not while she lived in the shelter. “And I can’t believe my luck in getting the job they found for me. They have health insurance, Petey. The real deal, all paid for. And employees get to own shares of the business.”
“They need a bouncer?”
She laughed.
“I’m aiming to get a place in a few weeks. Tyler and I are on a list for some low-cost housing and it looks pretty sure we’ll get in. It’s a new place. Imagine living in a place where no one has lived but you. Once we’re settled, I’d like to cook you dinner.”
“I’ll take you up on the picnic. I need to check out that boy’s swing. He’s got potential, you know. I can see it.”
Petey had done a stint in baseball’s minor leagues before a back injury had put him out of the game. But to Tyler, he was a hero. Over the years, he’d taken the time to play ball with Tyler during school breaks and on weekends.
“He’s ten, Petey. It’s a bit early to—”
“Talent is talent. The boy has good genes.”
There was an awkward silence.
“I like to think the half he got from me are good, at least. Thanks for the warning. And thanks again for keeping me off the radar.”
“You gonna make fried chicken?”
“Only if you bring biscuits.”
“It’s a deal, Tash.”
She clicked off the phone. Whoosh, just like that, information could rock what had seemed to be a secure world.
Eddie was looking for her after all these years? She’d heard about the making-amends thing—women in the evening groups talked about their AA programs, the steps, the work to get their lives on track and rebuild respect in themselves and trust in other
s.
Well, Eddie would have to live with the truth of what he’d done without apologizing to her. He’d broken her jaw. She should’ve called the police. Should’ve put the bastard behind bars. But something had stopped her. Something in his eyes. She couldn’t do it. And they might not have found him anyway. All she knew was his first name, if it even was his name. She thanked the heavens that was all he knew of her too, her first name. She might’ve been a naive eighteen-year-old, but she’d been savvy enough not to tell him her last name. Or maybe somewhere deep down she’d been aware he’d be trouble.
But she’d never regret that night. Not in a million years. She would’ve endured far more if she’d known it would bring her the gift of her baby. Her boy. Tyler was everything good about the world. He’d renewed her will to live. Strange how out of horror could come its antidote.
She pulled the lettuce she’d brought home from her job from the tiny fridge and began to tear the leaves into the plastic salad bowl she’d bought at the thrift store in town. Green and tender, the leaves smelled like spring. Sometimes she imagined that spring smelled like hope. Or promise. And she didn’t trust either one.
Two days later, Natasha was fluffing the soil in one of the side garden beds nearest the kitchen of the main house at Casa del Sole when her cellphone rang. With a quick swipe, she brushed the dirt from her hands and answered.
It wasn’t Tyler.
“How does a hike at nine thirty on Saturday sound?”
Adrian.
“This Saturday?” She leaned against the redwood seat topping the grow box and toyed with the handle of her spade. She’d practiced telling Adrian no in front of her mirror that morning.
“Unless there’s another Saturday between now and then,” he said in a jovial tone. “We can go up Mount Saint Helena. You can see for miles from the top.”
God, she loved the sound of his voice. His Italian accent made English sound like a whole new language. But the timbre of his velvet-rich tones touched places in her that it shouldn’t.
“Or how about today?” he asked, surprising her.
“I’m working.”
Evidently he wasn’t. He probably didn’t have a job. He probably spent his time moving money around and watching his bank account grow. Or did rich people have people who did that for them too?
“So am I,” he said. “But I’d change my plans.”
“I can’t do that.”
“So we’re back to nine thirty on Saturday. I’ll pick you up. That is, if you’re up for a hike.”
She caved in to the part of her that wanted to see him again. The possibly not-so-smart part of her. And she’d like to see this new place she lived from a bird’s-eye view.
“Let’s meet at the same café.”
“We’re keeping to your rules, are we?” he said in a teasing tone.
“Yes.”
She heard a noise in the background. It sounded like geese calling to one another—the sound they made communicating when flying. No matter what she was doing, when geese flew overhead, she’d stop and admire them. It had become her new Sonoma ritual.
“Your choice. See you at nine thirty Saturday,” he said over the squawking. “Wear hiking shoes. We’re going to the top. Ciao.”
She muttered goodbye.
She shoved the phone back into her pocket. She didn’t own hiking shoes—she’d never been on a hike in her life. She turned the spade in her hand, digging idly. So much for her intention to tell Adrian she wasn’t going up Mount Saint Helena with him. Or anywhere else.
A loud honking had her looking up as a formation of geese flew over her head. Apparently there were a lot of the birds in Sonoma. She saluted them and went back to planting the jalapeño seeds that would spice up the midsummer meals at Casa del Sole.
Chapter Seven
SHE SHOULD’VE CANCELED THE DATE. BUT after dropping Tyler off at the school for an all-day field trip, Natasha couldn’t come up with a single excuse for not going to Mount Saint Helena and enjoying the spring-kissed day. At least not one she was going to let stop her.
Adrian met her at the café as planned. On the drive from the café to the park, he told her that she’d inspired him to try planting a pollinator garden, that he’d always wanted to plant natives that would draw bees and butterflies. A cousin of his had tried it with great success, he reported. He hesitated and then shook his head and she knew he’d edited his comment. He hadn’t mentioned where his cousin’s garden was located. In the gap of time and words, her chest tightened. The rules she’d hoped would ease her way suddenly began to close in around her. She wished she didn’t need to rely on deception in order to feel safe. Deception might serve her, but it also hindered. Her nerves flared and she nattered on about regional natives—Dutchman’s pipes, salvias, penstemons and her favorite, monkey flower. As she fought back the urge to tell him about her job, about her garden at the Casa, her mind went blank.
Filling the awkward silence, he started talking about books that he liked. And he asked plenty of questions about the stories they discussed. Some she could answer, most she couldn’t. She’d listened to audiobooks, but she was more up to date on films. So she managed to steer the conversation to movies. Their exchange began to flow more easily, and like waves lapping up against a shore, the rhythmic energy pulled her forward, luring her past her long-held defenses. To her delight, she discovered that he was a Star Wars fan.
“I always loved Yoda,” Adrian said with a playful wink. “In another life I’d like for him to adopt me.” He reached into his glove compartment and handed her a map. “How much farther to the turnoff?”
Natasha squinted at the map and wished that the Jeep he’d picked her up in had GPS. He’d forgotten about her saying she needed glasses. Just as well.
“Maybe five or six more miles,” she said, wishing she weren’t winging it.
They hadn’t traveled half a mile before the huge sign for the state park appeared.
“Our lucky day—it’s closer than it looked,” Adrian said as he turned into the parking lot.
Natasha fumbled with the seat belt but couldn’t release it and jump out in time to prevent Adrian from coming around to open the car door.
Maybe she wanted him to help her. Maybe her hands read a subconscious message and fumbled on purpose. Her mind might be obeying her cautions, but her body wanted contact. But when his fingers closed around hers, the contact revved up more than sexual impulses—his touch sent longing flooding through her in a slow, deliberate path.
She’d never allowed herself the luxury of longing. At least not for anything other than a perfect childhood for Tyler. Longing frightened her, set her off course. And desire? That was definitely off-course territory. So what the heck was she doing in a state park with Adrian?
He held her hand for longer than he needed to once he’d helped her from the Jeep. When he released her hand, the corner of his mouth turned up in a sexy, irresistible grin.
He brushed his arm across her shoulder as he reached in for the plastic tote bag she’d brought.
“You don’t want to carry this bulky thing up the trail,” he said, handing the bag to her. “The guidebook says it’s a moderately strenuous hike.”
He hauled a high-tech backpack from the back seat, unzipped it and motioned to the tote bag she clutched. “You can put anything you need for the hike in my pack.”
He eyed her attire. And she could’ve sworn she felt heat touch her as if he were brushing warmth along her body with his gaze.
“Do you have a jacket in there?” His grin faded and he looked all serious backwoods hiker. “It’s not the Alps, but I’m told the weather can change rapidly on this mountain, especially near the top.”
The balmy spring temperatures they’d had earlier in the week had dropped ten degrees. Not cold by East Coast standards, but there was a definite chill in the air. She reached into the tote bag and retrieved the windbreaker she’d bought at the thrift shop the day before. Down in the valley, the cotto
n T-shirt, shorts and zippered hoodie had seemed warm enough. Now she was glad she’d spent the five bucks on the windbreaker. She rolled up the jacket and handed it to him.
He stuffed her jacket into the pack along with water bottles and some granola bars, and then he pulled a guidebook out of the front zippered pocket. “I’ll have a look at our route while you change your shoes.”
“I’m wearing these.”
She’d bought the designer brand tennis shoes when she got the windbreaker. They were a bit snug, but none of the other shoes in the thrift store fit at all. She could’ve worn her work boots, but they were too heavy for walking.
“Let me see the bottoms.”
She turned the sole of one foot up to face him.
“Those could be slippery. There could be hardscrabble on the trails.”
“Scrabble?” She stifled a giggle at the absurd image of people setting up game boards in the woods. Clearly her nerves were getting away with her, as was her imagination. “Do you mean scree?”
“If that means loose rocks, then yes.” He pressed his lips together. “Maybe we should just go back and take the short path at Meadow Wood. I’ve been on it; it’s flat and manicured.”
“I’m not a sissy.”
He laughed. “I wasn’t implying you are. But I do apologize—I realize that perhaps I didn’t prepare you sufficiently for this outing.”
Sometimes his formal English made her smile inwardly. And his accent made the simplest of sentences sound intriguing. But it was the deep gazes he held her with that sent shivers into her core. He couldn’t have sufficiently prepared her for this outing if he’d wanted to.
“I should’ve told you it’s a bit over four miles.”
“Four miles isn’t so far.” She walked two miles on the weekends around the local park.
“Four miles one way. The elevation gain is only six hundred meters, but there are some pretty steep switchbacks.”
Now he was speaking a foreign language. Switchbacks and elevation gain? She tried to remember how many meters there were in a mile.