by Nikki Logan
Sam had been gone only a little over six months. He’d been his best friend. And Jamie was his widow, he reminded himself again.
But deep down, Brett knew exactly why he’d put off coming for so long.
* * *
Jamie hadn’t stopped moving since they’d walked inside. She couldn’t. Because if she stopped even for a second, she’d either start crying or throw her arms around Brett and never let him go.
Having him here was unexpected, unusual, and yet exactly what she needed all at the same time. Since Sam had been gone, she’d had an emptiness inside of her that had ached every single day, but seeing Brett...? It was like the pain was finally easing. Because she could talk to Brett about her husband, really talk about him, and he made her feel like Sam could still walk through the front door, hassling Brett for chatting her up like he usually did. Jamie took a deep breath.
“Maple syrup?” she asked.
He laughed. “Yes, ma’am.”
Jamie flipped a pancake and turned around to look at the man seated at her counter. He looked like he always did—handsome and tanned—but there was something different about him now. Something she couldn’t pinpoint, except for maybe a hint of unhappiness that kept crossing his face, that made his smile never quite reach his eyes like it once had. There was so much she wanted to ask him, but she wanted to wait until the time was right.
“So tell me how you ended up with Bear?” Brett asked.
She smiled at the dog lying near her feet. He might be hard to communicate with, but he sure was loyal and she loved him for that.
“The detection dog unit contacted me, told me that he had to be retired after the accident, and they wanted to offer him to me first.” She shook her head, turning her attention back to her pancakes. “Sam loved him so much, so I couldn’t say no. And it is kind of nice having the company, even if we haven’t quite figured each other out yet. He’s only been here a few weeks because he had to be in quarantine for a while.”
She knew Brett had lost his dog in the same explosion that had killed her husband, that he probably wasn’t ready to go there yet, but...
“I know I should have come by sooner, Jamie, it’s just...” Brett’s voice trailed off.
Jamie held up her hand. It seemed like they were both struggling to find the right words. “No apology necessary. We just do what we have to do to cope, right?”
He nodded, looked grateful that he didn’t have to explain himself. Instead of asking him anything further, she flipped the last pancake and placed it in front of him, adding it to the stack.
“Looks good enough to eat,” he said, grinning as he poured syrup over them.
Jamie sat down beside him, reaching for the coffeepot she’d left just out of reach. It seemed right having Brett here, even if it was just the two of them, because being alone these last six months, she’d started to forget the person she was, the happy, easygoing person she’d always been. Brett was making her remember how nice it had always been to open their home to friends.
She chanced a quick glance at him, wishing she could resist but unable to. When they’d first met, Brett was dating another woman, and then when he was single she’d already been seeing Sam. His best friend. Just because they’d been attracted to one another before didn’t mean anything, she knew that, but she had a notion that she should be feeling guilty, shouldn’t feel so comfortable in his presence.
“Do you still have your house here?”
Jamie watched as he finished his mouthful before setting his fork back down on the plate. “I decided to put it on the market a while back, and it sold while I was deployed.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t known. “So where are you staying?” She’d been wanting to get in touch with him for months, had presumed he was away again, because he hadn’t even been able to make it back for Sam’s service.
“I’ve been at a recuperation clinic. My leg was burned pretty bad when the...” His sentence trailed off. “It’s kept me away for a while, then I traveled around for a bit to come to grips with everything, and I only just arrived in yesterday.”
She swallowed, taking a deep breath before she asked a question that needed to be voiced. “You’re staying in a hotel, aren’t you? You only came back here to see me.”
Brett looked guilty. “You were Sam’s wife. I could only stay away for so long. He’d want me to look out for you, Jamie. You know that. He even asked me as much.”
Unspoken words hung between them, words that would never be braved by either of them. Because before it had just been flirting. Now that Sam was gone... It was too soon for either of them, wasn’t something that could ever happen. But it didn’t mean she wanted Brett to leave, and it didn’t mean that he was here for any other reason than because he loved her for being Sam’s wife.
“I want you to know that I’m here, no matter what you need, okay?”
Jamie stared at him, raised one eyebrow as she looked into his eyes. “You really want to be here for me? To help me?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
“Then help me with Bear,” she said. “Turn me into a worthy owner of the dog who meant the world to my husband.”
Brett was playing with his fork, looking at the half-eaten breakfast on his plate.
“You’re sure you want me hanging around?” he asked. “I mean, you don’t have to say that just because...”
Jamie reached for his hand, squeezed it and stared straight into Brett’s eyes. “You weren’t just his friend, you were mine, too,” she confessed. “I’ve missed you guys—you, Sam and Logan. I miss you all. I didn’t just lose my husband, I lost having you two here all the time, too.”
Brett grunted. “Bet Logan’s been better at staying in touch.”
She shook her head. “He’s phoned me a couple of times, but I haven’t seen him, either. It’s been—” Jamie shrugged “—weird. But he did say he was back in town soon, so maybe he’s back now?”
Brett looked surprised, but she didn’t say anything. He went back to eating his pancakes and so did she.
“Well, if you need help with Bear, I’m here,” he said. “How about we start with a few basics today, and I’ll come past tomorrow and we can take him out to a park or something.”
Jamie stood up to clear their plates. “That sounds like a good plan,” she told him.
A niggle in her mind was telling her she should have asked Brett to stay, that her husband would have been horrified that his best buddy was paying to stay at a hotel, but she wasn’t ready for that. Wasn’t ready for a man to be sleeping in her home, under her roof—a man who wasn’t her husband, even if she did hate being on her own at night. Being alone...it took her back to her childhood, brought the ice-cold fear back, and she hated that as much as the reality of waking up without Sam beside her.
And if she were honest with herself, she was feeling nervous about being with Brett too much, just the two of them. They’d always flirted, it was just how he’d always been with her, but back then she’d also been in love with her husband, which meant their joking had always been nothing more than fun. Now?
She just had to take one day at a time. Having Brett here was better than being on her own, and she knew it was what Sam would have wanted. Even if she was having feelings about Brett that he wouldn’t approve of.
Copyright © 2014 by Soraya Lane
ISBN-13: 9781460327470
AWAKENED BY HIS TOUCH
Copyright © 2014 by Nikki Logan
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