by Amira Rain
One night about two weeks after I’d arrived in Somerset, I began to see signs that frustration and anxiety was clearly taking a toll on Reed as well. Dark circles made shadows under his long-lashed, heavy-lidded eyes, and he cut his chicken like it wasn’t already dead and he needed to kill it. When our fingers briefly touched near the end of the meal, when we’d both reached for a carafe of ice water at the exact same time, his frustration finally seemed to get the better of him.
Gritting his teeth, he poured water for us both, set the carafe on the table with a slight bang, and then rested his head in his hands, kind of tearing at his thick hair more than raking his hands through it.
“Sometimes I think I made a mistake. Sometimes I think I should have just tried to get the scientists at the NSMP to come up with a different way to restore strength to my men and me other than attempting a blood serum potion taken from a baby. A baby I’m supposed to create with a woman I don’t want to become close to.”
Although I understood Reed’s reasoning, I couldn't help but feel a little hurt. It just wasn't an easy thing to hear that the man I was deeply attracted to and deeply lusting after wanted nothing more than to go back in time and never meet me at all. Not knowing what to say in return to Reed, though, not knowing how to put my hurt into the right words, if there were any, I said nothing.
After a few moments, he stopped his hair raking-slash-tearing and looked up at me. “We killed four Bloodborn bears while out on patrol today, you know. With help from a half-dozen of my men, I killed two, and Alex, my top lieutenant, killed two as well. We caught them creeping around just a mile or so past the village limits, probably sent by Gerard Blackthorn to try to get near the village to spy.”
After taking a sip of water, I set my glass down, a bit startled to feel a bit of unexpected water in my eyes. “Well, that’s really good news. Four more Bloodborn down, and... how many left now? A few hundred? A few thousand? So, maybe we can finally sleep together again in about fifty years. And until then, I’ll just look at you and be tortured every night. That seems fair for a woman who packed up stakes and moved to a completely new community, leaving her sick mother behind, doesn’t it? Yes, the more I think about it, that really seems fair to me. Meanwhile, all the rest of the women in the village are apparently not being tortured for any great length of time at all, judging by how many pregnant women I keep seeing walking around. And, yet, apparently, that’s never going to be me, making me agree with you that maybe this was all just a huge mistake. After all, you probably wish you could go back in time and never meet me at all."
A hot tear suddenly rolled down my cheek, and I swatted it away with great annoyance. I was suddenly so angry and annoyed, I would have slapped it away if it wouldn’t have hurt my own cheek.
Before Reed could respond, I jumped up out of my seat, slamming my napkin on the table. “Damn you, Reed. I just…” So angry I was slightly lightheaded, I paused for a second while my heart hammered in my ears and another stupid tear rolled down my face. “I just... damn you for not wanting to get close to me.”
Not wanting him to see me cry like a baby, and have him know just how much his rejection was hurting me, I flew from the room and up the stairs, not slowing my pace until I reached my room. There, I slammed the door behind me, then flopped on my bed and cried like a schoolgirl whose crush had broken her heart, which was a situation I found far too relatable right then.
Even the reasons I was crying struck me as reasons a teenager might cry. I’d gone out on a limb, accidentally opening my heart in the process, and the boy I liked didn't like me back. Or, he did possibly, but he couldn't show me that in any emotional or physical way out of fear of becoming distracted by love and bringing about his own death in battle against the Bloodborn. Upon reflection, I supposed that last part wasn’t quite exactly typical teenage stuff.
Nonetheless, I was discovering that rejection hurt at any age, even if the person hurting understood exactly why she was being rejected. However, knowing why certainly didn’t make my tears dry any faster. Several minutes went by before they finally slowed to a stop.
With my face hot and strangely prickly, the way it always felt after a good cry, I soon headed to the bathroom and got in the shower, holding my face under a spray of water set as cold as I could stand it. After washing my body and shampooing my hair in much warmer water, I shut off the shower and toweled dry, thinking that part of the reason for my tears might have simply been due to PMS. While wrapping my towel around my body, I realized that my period had to be approaching, which always tended to make me a bit emotional.
It was only after I’d continued out to my room to change into pajamas that I realized something else. Standing stock-still, I thought about when I’d gotten my last period, and I did a little calculation in my head, coming to the conclusion that I wasn’t just due to get my period, I was actually a few days late.
*
The following morning, I took a home pregnancy test, and it was unmistakably positive. When I emerged from the bathroom, test stick in hand, Reed looked at me expectantly from where he was sitting on the edge of my bed.
Not wanting to keep him in suspense, I just blurted out a few words. “It’s yes. There are two lines.”
As if I hadn’t previously explained to him exactly what two lines would mean, he just stared at me for a long moment, looking almost comically perplexed.
“So… so, two lines means yes, then? Two lines means yes?”Reed’s bewildered, uncertain reaction tickled me a bit for some reason, and I couldn’t help but smile a little before I spoke again, nodding.
“Yes. Two lines means yes. We’re pregnant. I guess all it took was just that one time… the first and only time we slept together.”
It somehow seemed impossible, even to me, although I knew that a properly taken pregnancy test didn’t often lie.
Just the same, though, I took a second one, and this one turned positive even quicker than the first one had.
When I emerged from the bathroom again, second positive test in hand, I told Reed that it was a definite yes. “We’re for sure pregnant. It’s official. And now the government will pay me, and now my mom can get her cancer treatment. And now you and your men can count on getting your full strength back. All our problems are solved.”
What ensued was a celebration of sorts, with Reed getting up from my bed and wrapping me in a hug, saying that this was such wonderful news. Grinning, I hugged him back, saying that it sure was. However, after a few moments, I realized that part of what I’d just said wasn’t exactly true. All our problems weren’t solved. I still had a problem, which was that I’d grown to care about a man who still didn’t want to get too close to me. Of course, I had no idea if that might change now that we were having a baby together, but for some reason, I doubted it. Especially when Reed abruptly ended our hug, releasing me with a serious expression on his face.
“This is very good news, Samantha. Thank you for letting me be present for the test.”
His words struck me as incredibly formal. Far too formal for the situation.
A long moment went by before he spoke again, seeming to be struggling to maintain eye contact with me.
“I need to go meet with my council members, and also make a call to the NSMP to find out how soon their scientists can make the serum we need after you deliver. I imagine you’re probably wanting to make a phone call, too, to your mom.”
I definitely was, and now that I was thinking about it, I actually couldn’t wait for Reed to leave the room so that I could do it. Fortunately, he soon took off in a hurry, mumbling congratulations to me, as if I were merely an acquaintance who’d just received pregnancy news, instead of the future mother of his child.
Seemingly still determined not to get close to me, Reed was barely home over the next month. We stopped even having dinner together. I found that I missed him, which seemed strange because although we were going to have a child together, I still barely even knew him. I especially missed him
during my frequent bouts of morning sickness, and I always wished that he was by my side.
One day, he surprised me by making me a batch of chocolate chip cookies, indicating that he cared about me at least a little. He didn’t present them to me, though; Marie did. It was she who’d told him that I’d been having a craving, too, and she’d even bought the ingredients for him to save him time. Reed had done the actual baking, though, Marie had assured me.
“Had his face buried in a cookbook for a good twenty minutes before he started,” she’d said. “He seemed to really want your cookies to be perfect.”
Moist, chewy, and chock-full of chocolate chips, they really were perfect, but what I found most perfect of all was that Reed had made them for me. However, when I’d sent him a text to thank him, I’d immediately sent another as an afterthought, asking him if he’d like to have dinner with me that evening. Like we used to. Remember?
I’d soon received a response. Thanks for the offer, but sorry. The Bloodborn have me more than tied up lately, so it’s just easier to eat while out on patrol.
I knew it wasn’t a lie what he’d said about the Bloodborn, because Polly, Marie, and other people in town had told me all about recent small-scale attacks that had been going on. Many people, including Reed, even feared that they were working up to some kind of a major attack, with all their fighters participating, very soon.
However, even with this being the case, I still couldn’t help but think that if Reed had really wanted to have a quick dinner or two with me, he could have, as evidenced by the fact that he’d at least had time enough to make cookies.
In the midst of all this, two positive things happened. One, I received my pregnancy payment from the government, and I was able to send my mom, along with Irma, to Switzerland for her treatment. Irma would be staying with her the entire five months that she would be there.
The second positive thing that happened was that the NSMP told Reed and me that I actually wouldn’t even have to deliver the baby before they’d be able to draw the minute amount of blood from it that their scientists needed in order to formulate the serum that would strengthen Reed and his men and reverse the effect of the biological weapon. Sometime during my fifth month of pregnancy, a doctor would use some kind of state-of-the art medical procedure to draw just a few drops of blood from my baby’s umbilical cord, and that was all that would be needed. Reed and I were assured that the procedure would be completely safe, and we were both completely ready to go through with it just as soon as I hit my fifth month. The only problem until then would be keeping the Bloodborn from launching some kind of a full-scale attack on Somerset, not that there was any real way to prevent them from doing so. And if they did attack before then, Reed and his men would just have to fight at far-less-than-full-strength, and I knew what this meant. More than likely, if this were the case, there would be mass casualties on our side. I knew that Reed himself could even die. Not to mention that the Bloodborn could claim Somerset, and everyone in it, for their own.
All this had me periodically thinking about my knife-throwing skill, and sometimes I almost felt like I had a duty to use my skill if any large-scale battle took place, whether Reed liked it or not. After all, he was my baby’s father, and I didn’t want my baby to grow up without his or her dad. I also still had a small shred of hope that despite how he was acting currently, maybe someday Reed would be able to open his heart to me, and maybe we could develop a relationship. In the time since I’d experienced “the quake” upon first meeting him, I’d wondered if there was something about us that was simply meant to be, no matter how long it took. Marie and Polly sure steadfastly seemed to think so.
One sunny Saturday morning in May, I’d just finished getting dressed, intending to meet Polly and another new friend, Claire, for breakfast at one of Somerset’s few restaurants, when I heard Reed’s shower running in the next room. This was unusual, because it was nearly nine, which was much later than he normally showered. Usually, he was up before dawn, and out the door minutes before the sun broke. However, possibly explaining his lateness on this particular day, he hadn’t returned from patrol the night before until sometime around three. Half-waking from some hazy dream about him, I’d heard him walking down the hall to his room.
Deciding to take advantage of this rare occasion of both of us being home and awake at the same time, I hastily dried and brushed my hair, then applied a little makeup, finishing just in time to step out of my bedroom the moment I heard Reed step out of his own bedroom and begin down the hallway.
Acting surprised to see him, I said good morning, and he said the same, looking a bit uncomfortable, as if he hadn’t wanted to run into me, which I was sure he hadn’t.
Nevertheless, I asked him if he might want to have a cup of coffee with me before we both left the house. “Just a quick cup of coffee. I know you’re probably on a tight schedule, and so am I.”
Frowning, Reed said that he was on an incredibly tight schedule. “And I overslept as it is. So, now I’ve really got to get going. My scouts reported some unusual Bloodborn activity yesterday, and I’m growing very concerned that they’re going to attack very soon, much sooner than your fifth month of pregnancy. I think my men and I are simply going to have to fight them weakened.”
I could hardly help the next words out of my mouth. “Reed, please. Maybe I won’t be able to do much, but please let me help you. Please, just let me help with my knife-throwing skill. Even if I can only take out one or two of the-”
“No. No way in hell.”
“But, listen. I’m just going to say this. I’ve started to care about you, and I want more than a ‘business relationship’ with you. We could maybe explore that possibility if all the Bloodborn are wiped out, like you said…and maybe I could be a part of doing that. If I can just-”
100“Absolutely not. If and when the Bloodborn launch a mass attack, I want you to be safe in the basement of the house. I don’t want you anywhere near the fight.”
“And is that because you’ve started to care for me on a level a little deeper than a ‘business partner,’ too?”
Raking a hand through his hair, frowning, Reed hesitated in responding, and before he could, his phone sounded with a text alert.
Swearing under his breath, he pulled it from his pocket and looked at the screen, face paling, before lifting his gaze to me. “It’s happening right now. The Bloodborn are attacking. All of them. And you’re not going to be anywhere near this fight.”
CHAPTER 12
Not even giving me a moment to respond, Reed began sprinting down the hallway. I just continued standing in my bedroom doorway, stock-still except for sudden full-body trembling making me move almost imperceptibly. Beyond being stunned by what was happening, I felt almost literally frozen with fear. Fear and something else. Anticipation, maybe. Anticipation mixed with something like horror.
Everything I was now feeling was a direct result of realizing that everyone in Somerset might be slaughtered, including Reed. And I knew I couldn’t let that happen.
I’d been a fool to ever think that there was even a chance that I could just sit back and not fight. I knew now that the idea was ridiculous. Ridiculous when the lives of many innocent people were at stake, and when I had a skill that could possibly save people, including the father of my baby. Sure, I knew that Reed could more than handle his own in a shifter fight, but this didn’t make me feel any better about his chances of decidedly coming out on top in his weakened state.
I only remained frozen for a few seconds, with my body perfectly still but my mind racing. Then, with some unseen force seeming to be willing my body to move, and move fast, I began flying down the hallway, chasing Reed.
“Reed, stop! Please just wait!”
In the span of just a few seconds, just the short amount of time I’d remained standing in the doorway, he’d made it down the long hallway, then down a shorter hallway that led to the stairs. I caught him on the landing, where he’d seemed to have momen
tarily paused, hearing my shouts.
“Please, hold up a second, Reed. Please just wait.”
He'd turned to me with a scowl, and now he scowled even harder as I took a second to gulp a deep lungful of air before speaking.
“Look. I know the Bloodborn are coming, and there's no time to waste, but I just want you to hear me out before you go. I-”
“Samantha, I need to go join my men now. At the rate they’re going, Gerard and his men will be approaching village limits within ten minutes or so, if not sooner, and I-”
“I know. I completely understand. You need to get out there with your men. But just listen to me. Please. Ten seconds. All I want to say is that I want you to promise me that you’ll give us a chance after all this. I just want you to promise that, because I know that you’re going to survive… and when you do, I want there to be hope for us.”
Reed snorted, glowering. “I’m already in a weakened state. Do you want me to become further weakened by falling in love with you? I’m not going to lie; I could do it very easily. In fact, I think something changed in my heart the night that we slept together, and I didn’t like it. Since then, I’ve had dreams about dying in battle, with you always in the background. Do you want this to become reality? I, for one, don’t. I don’t want to die like Sean. When are you going to understand this?”
I grabbed his free hand, the one not on the bannister, and clutched it in both of my own. “I’m begging you, Reed. Please don't go out there with the mindset that what happened to Sean could happen to you. Just promise me that you'll fight like you believe that won’t be your fate, because I know it won’t be. We have to believe in that. Promise me that you will.”