“Yeah,” Tron said. “I saw the text. And I wanted to know why you ain’t tell me that you was goin, but whatever. Prolly just thinkin’ about yourself again or some shit. So, what the doctor say?”
Desirae hesitated for a second, looked away and trying to get together just the right amount of energy to tell him what Doctor Adair showed her.
“Well,” Desirae said, feeling her confidence come back. “I’m due around late August or early September.”
Tron calmed down a little, realizing that being worked up was not going to make anything better at this point. He looked at Desirae’ stomach, trying to convince himself that she was pregnant by him and not some other nigga. “Well, that’s good,” he said, nodding his head. “That’s real coo.”
“Yeah,” Desirae said. “And it’s twins.”
Twins seemed to be the only word that Tron heard. It echoed in his head as the image of two little babies popped into his mind. He had never known any twins, let alone anyone who raised any. Tron balled his fists, driving them into the sides of his thighs as he turned away.
“What the fuck?” he said, turning back to Desirae. “Twins? Fuckin’ twins? Like two babies? Two fuckin’ babies?”
Desirae simply remained silent. She nodded her head instead of speaking. She knew that she would need to give Tron a few seconds to process this.
Tron heard Desirae’s silence. He could tell by the look on her face, as well as how she was standing and the tone in her voice, that she was indeed telling the truth. He glanced at her stomach, thinking about how there were two babies in there. Tron laughed, shaking his head.
“You gotta be fuckin’ shittin’ me,” Tron said, his lips tight. “This bitch done trapped me and done did it with two babies. Oh my God, you gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.”
“Nigga!” Desirae said, now raising her voice a little bit. “I don’t know why you keep sayin’ that shit, and I don’t know why you been over here thinkin’ that stupid ass shit. You know that I ain’t trap your ass. I told you. I just forgot that I didn’t take my birth control.”
“How the fuck you forget something like that?” Tron asked. “How the fuck you forget somethin’ like that unless you really just try’na get pregnant by some nigga? Huh? How the fuck you do that?”
Desirae rolled her eyes and shook her head. She found it so pitiful the way that some niggas could act when they find out about their responsibilities. “Well, I don’t know,” she said, sounding very sarcastic. “Maybe the same way you forgot to put a condom on? I mean, why else would you fuck a chick without a condom unless you was try’na get her pregnant?”
Tron was so mad right now. “I told you the deal when we first startin’ fuckin’ round, Desirae,” he said. “I told your ass that them fuckin’ condoms is too tight and that if we was gon’ be fuckin’ around, that you would have to be on some fuckin’ birth control. I even told your ass that I would pay for the shit.”
“Look, I’m sorry,” Desirae said. “And whatever you think, you just gon’ have to deal with. The fact of the matter is that I am pregnant with twins. And I just thought that you should know that I was havin’ twins.”
“And I still don’t even know if they mine or not,” Tron said.
Words like that cut right through Desirae. The very idea of a man acting ashamed to have children with her just did not feel good.
“Look, nigga!” Desirae yelled, knowing that she might as well go hard or go home. “I ain’t no fuckin’ hoe. You was the only nigga that I was fuckin’ round with, like I told you. I don’t know why you can’t believe that. Oh, maybe it is because you was fuckin’ round of your chick, Shawna or whatever. So, you think that I had to be doin’ the same thing, too, huh? Is that what you think?”
“Man, fuck this shit,” Tron said. “Why are you here? Huh? Why you here? Why you couldn’t just tell me some shit like this over the phone? I know you want somethin’. Bitches always come back around when they want somethin’. You need some attention, or somethin’?”
“Nigga, fuck you!” Desirae said. In a flash, she started to throw punches at Tron, right there on the sidewalk in front of his townhouse. As any man should, Tron ducked away from Desirae’s fists. In the midst of moving away from her, he told her that she was crazy – words that only fueled her rage even more. “I don’t need no fuckin’ attention from you!” Desirae let him know. “I was comin’ over here to tell you that, and to tell you that I would be movin’ outta my apartment this weekend and back in with my mama. Thought you might wanna help the future mother of your children so that when I do get back on my feet, I ain’t raisin’ your kids in no fuckin’ project or somewhere far out, in some shitty-ass apartments or somethin’. I’m betta than that, and you know it.”
Tron took a few deep breaths and looked up toward the sky. For the last so-many weeks, he indeed had been thinking about what kind of financial moves he would be making. Desirae being pregnant could not have come at a worse time. He was still working on remaking the club – trying to save a sinking ship, so to speak, since the club and its exterior had been in the news lately. On top of that, Shawna moving out on him left him to pay the bills on his own in the dead of winter.
“I know, Desirae,” Tron said. “I know. And, like I told you, if the baby, or babies, is mine then I’mma be a man and help you. I’mma make sure that you get whatever you need, whenever you need it. Showin’ up at my place, like we fuckin’ together or somethin’, ain’t it, though. I put it on everything, I was going to call you back as soon as my little girl Ebony went to sleep tonight. I ain’t wanna take away our time together by being on the phone, or standing outside in the snow, talking to you.”
For a moment there, Desirae did start to feel a little childish. If she would have known this his daughter was over to his place, that might of told her that other people could be over too and maybe she would not have come. However, if she was going to be the mother of his children for the next eighteen years, there was no reason she needed to wait when it came to meeting his family. Nothing could be further from the truth than with meeting his daughter.
“Tron,” Desirae said. “It is not like I knew you was over here with your daughter. But, I will say this, I do think that she might as well go ahead and meet me and get to know me. After all, she is about to have two siblings because of me. Am I right, or am I wrong?”
“Look, Desirae,” Tron said, keeping his voice a little lower and talking in a much smoother tone. “I know you prolly scared and stuff about all of this. And, to tell you the truth, so am I. But if we gon’ raise this baby – these babies – together, you gon’ have to work with me a little bit.”
“Work with you?” Desirae asked, as if she had just heard something crazy come out of Tron’s mouth. “You admitted yourself to me just a few minutes ago that you saw that I was callin’ you and textin’ you and stuff and purposely did not answer. I understand that you were with your daughter, and I respect that. I’m a real woman about my shit, so I really do respect when a man is spending time with his children. But what if I really was needing something, though? And you were just ignoring me like that? You could have just answered and told me what the deal was, you know. We could have arranged some time to meet or whatever, and I swear, I woulda been just fine with all of that. But, no, you already not try’na even work with me by just pushin’ me out of your life like you ain’t even know me or nothin’.”
Tron shook his head. “Girl, you one crazy…I swear,” he said, his words full of regret and resentment. “I told you that I was gon’ call you when I got home and talk to you. You didn’t even tell me that you were goin’ to the doctor and stuff. How is that workin’ with me, huh? Tell me that. How the fuck is that try’na work with me?”
Desirae hesitated for a moment. She then thought about the couples that she saw out in the waiting room while she sat in anticipation of meeting with Doctor Adair. She then thought about how Tron had really talked a good game to her about them being together, especially s
ince he was basically trapped in an unhappy relationship.
“Look,” Desirae said. “We ain’t even together, so I don’t even know why the fuck you would think that I would have to call you and tell you that I’m goin’ to the fuckin’ doctor.”
“You know what,” Tron started, “Whatever.” His head shook. “It’s whatever. So, you said you movin’ out of your apartment this weekend and in with your mama or whatever?”
Desirae nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s the plan, anyway. Gotta find some help.”
“So now you sayin’ that you need me to come help you move?” Tron asked.
Desirae shook her head. “Naw,” she answered. “That is not what I’m sayin’. I was just lettin’ you know.”
“I can come help you move if you need me to help you do that, Desirae,” Tron said, wishing that he did not feel obligated to help this woman who had basically helped his life, and relationship, just fall to pieces.”
“I don’t know,” Desirae said. “I just don’t know. I didn’t even know I would be out here talkin’ to you today, let alone that you would actually be offerin’ to help, especially since we not together.”
“And we not gon’ be together,” Tron let Desirae know. “So, just get that out of your head. We not gon’ be together, Desirae.”
“Oh, yeah?” Desirae said, snapping her neck back. “Nigga, I don’t even know why the fuck you so stuck on thinking that somebody would even want to be with your ass. I’m just over here so that my mind is clear about all of this – so that I know that I gave my kids’ father a chance to be a damn daddy to his kids, is all. I swear to God. I don’t ever wanna be with you, no fuckin’ way. Whatever man I decide to settle down with and dedicate my life to is gonna be the kinda nigga that ain’t try’na keep me in no closet, across town, like I’m some secret or something.”
“Damn, Desirae,” Tron said. He hated how she was so good at playing the victim. “When we first started hookin’ up, Desirae, I told your ass what is was and what it was gon’ be. You ain’t tell me that you was lookin’ for some nigga to be with you.”
“I know,” Desirae said, starting to feel some regret. “I know, I know, I know, Tron. Shit.”
Desirae turned away and stepped off of the sidewalk. Within a matter of seconds, Tron was watching Desirae’s big ass walk further and further away from him and across the parking lot. Even though he hated the woman’s guts and soul with a passion at this very moment, a man was going to be a man. A man would not be able to help himself but to notice Desirae’s body of perfection. Even in these two weeks or so since Tron had seen her, he had not seen a chick in the entire city who had a body that could compare. Tron then started to wonder how long it would be before Desirae’s body would change – how long before she had gained weight and lost the very thing that she had going for herself.
“I’m outta here,” Desirae said, confidently. “I was just stoppin’ by anyway, nigga. I ain’t mean to hold you up, and you got me standin’ outside in the snow like I’m some damn stranger that you can’t let come in your ass or no shit. This is whatever.” Her head shook. “I’m betta than that.”
Tron began to walk toward his door. “Whatever,” he said, wanting to hurl curse words at her. “I’ll hit you up whenever.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Desirae said. “Tell little Ebony that your friend said hi.”
Tron glanced at Desirae as she climbed into the driver seat of her car. He absolutely hated that she had walked up on him and Ebony and basically introduced herself as if she had every right to be known. “Yeah,” Tron said, sounding salty. “I’ll do that.”
Desirae hopped into her car, pulled out of the parking spot, and disappeared. Tron pushed his front door open, stepped in, and shut it, hard. Once the door was shut and locked, he climbed the stairs. Just as he got halfway up, he could hear his daughter’s voice from the living room. She had heard the front door slam shut. Instantly, even though she did not see her father all of the time, the little girl knew that something was definitely wrong. It was strange for her father to shut the door like that. Within a matter of seconds, Ebony had rushed from the living room to the foot of the steps. She now looked up at her father.
“What’s wrong, Daddy?” Ebony asked, her eyes practically sparkling in the light that was coming through the windows. “Daddy?”
Tron took a deep breath, knowing that he needed to play it cool with Ebony. He turned around. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong,” Tron said. “Nothin.”
“Did your friend, Desirae, leave already?” Ebony asked.
“Yeah,” Tron said, finishing his climb to the top of the steps. “Yeah, she gone Ebony. What are you doin’ down there?”
“Watchin’ the TV,” Ebony answered.
“Oh, okay,” Tron said. “Well, go on back to watchin’ TV and shit. Daddy gotta make some calls and stuff. I’ll be down there in a little bit, okay?”
“Okay,” Ebony said, smiling. She went back to the living room.
Tron pushed his bedroom door open, stepped inside, and shut it. He covered his face with both of his hands as he shook his head.
“Nigga,” he said to himself. “You done really fucked up. That bitch is crazy.”
Tron played over the entire interaction with Desirae out on the sidewalk in his head. He sat on the edge of his bed, looking through the blinds of his bedroom window at the snowy outside. No matter where he went – the club, home, or even Desirae’s house – he just did not feel like he could relax and get away from a woman with drama. Part of him wanted to snicker, because everything that was going on sounded just that fucking ridiculous. However, another part of him wanted to put one of his fists through a wall. While he would never actually do something like that, he really was just that mad about Desirae getting pregnant by him. What really made it all more worse was that she was pregnant with twins.
“I don’t even know if them babies is mine,” Tron said.
No matter what Desirae said to Tron, he was still going to find a way to get her to agree to a paternity test. There was just no way that he was going to be one of those niggas you hear about that takes care of a child that they thought was theirs for so many years. At this point in his life, he had so much to lose that doing something like that was definitely the last thing he would ever wish for.
After sitting on the edge of his bed for a few minutes in thought, trying to calm down a little, he knew that he would need a little help with this. He walked over to the door, opened it, and looked downstairs. It did not seem that Ebony would be coming up the stairs anytime soon to bother him. Upon seeing this, Tron pushed the door closed and put a towel along the bottom edge. Soon enough, he was rolling a blunt with some fire weed he had just gotten from his connect on Friday, before Andria had gotten to town and dropped Ebony off.
Tron lit his blunt and looked around his bedroom. There was no denying the elephant in the room: he really did miss Shawna. Something about her not being there really did make his life – his time at home – seem extremely different. He then thought about how he wasn’t the only one who hadn’t talked to Shawna in the last couple of weeks; Ebony wanted to see her as well. As Tron thought about this, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and began to text Shawna. While he struggled to think of the words to say, he decided that he would simply call her and say what he needed to say. He knew that if he told Shawna that Ebony wanted to see her, she would be nicer than if it was just him asking.
“Hello?” Shawna asked.
“Hey,” Tron said, in a soft but deep voice. “It’s Tron.”
“I know,” Shawna said. “I did delete your contact information in my phone, but, of course, I can’t delete the phone number from my memory.”
“Okay,” Tron said, not liking the layer of bitterness he heard in Shawna’s voice. “I wasn’t callin’ to get you back or nothin’ like that, so don’t start trippin’ and thinkin’ that. I was actually callin’ about somethin’ else.”
“What?” Shawna asked. She was cu
rious but unenthused. “What is it, Tron?”
“I wanna ask you a favor,” Tron said. “Ebony is here.”
“Oh,” Shawna said. “She is.”
“Yeah, Shawna,” Tron said. “She is. Her mother drove up from Louisville and dropped her off on Friday. She spent the weekend with me and is gonna be goin’ back tomorrow when her mother get up here.”
“Okay,” Shawna said, clearly wanting to hear more – wanting to hear about this possible favor.
“And I was wonderin’ if you would come through and see her,” Tron said. “Look, baby…Shawna.” He quickly corrected himself, knowing that she was not going to be okay with him calling her baby the way he had for all those years. It was still first reaction for him. “I know I fucked up,” he began. “And I told you I’m sorry and stuff. And I know you know that I got her pregnant and shit. Trust me, I do not feel good about this shit, either. But, like I said, Ebony is here and she keeps askin’ about you. With this little stay being for her birthday and for Valentine’s Day, I ain’t wanna tell her what really happened and that you don’t even live here no more. I told her that you went outta town cause she keep askin’ about you. So, I was just wonderin’ if you could come thru either tonight or earlier in the day tomorrow and see her for a little bit. Say you gotta go somewhere tonight or something, she won’t know the difference.”
There was a long pause of dead silence on the phone. Tron could hear the silence, instantly starting to feel guilty for even calling Shawna and asking her to help him out in any way.
“Shawna?” Tron asked.
“Yeah,” Shawna said. “I’m here. Look, Tron, I hope you ain’t try’na make this lead to nothin’, cause I really am movin’ on and passed all of this. I have been humiliated and embarrassed.”
“I know you have,” Tron said. “I know, Shawna. Like I said, I was just askin’ for Ebony, that’s all. I swear.”
The Diary of a Side Chick 4: A Naptown Hood Drama (Side Chick Diaries) Page 6