Yeah, but he is already dating someone else than you. And he doesn’t seem that bothered, right?
We went to the little restaurant down the corner where Matt and I used to go to lunch when we wouldn’t bother to order something or when we didn’t go and eat on the beach in the days when things weren’t too busy at the office.
Since I went out with Alex a few times before and I knew the way he acted around me, so it was weird to see he was all into PDA right now and it was really confusing. We did hold hands when we walked together or that kind of things, but now all his actions were annoying, and I was quite sure he was doing it because Matt was there. I have no idea why he keeps doing that, it’s like he intends to annoy Matt somehow and I don’t like that at all.
I loved going out with Alex, because he was a really great company and he was great, caring, funny and sweet, but when he started talking about Matt… It’s amazing how competitive the two of them could get and at some point they are so much alike.
But I can’t convince myself to start focusing on my relationship with Alex. It’s not quite a relationship, we’re just… casually dating I guess, nothing too serious, because I keep thinking about Matt. I always heard that you can definitely get over someone with or under someone else, but in this case… It’s so not working. Not that I’ve been or plan to be under Alex.
“So, Ems, whatcha think?” Matt asked with a smirk and I lost myself in his deep blue eyes. He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head to stop staring at him, because as he often said, that was rude. Plus my possibly current boyfriend was right next to me, annoyingly holding my hand.
“Um… Sorry, I wasn’t…”
“Paying attention, yeah, I noticed,” Alex said with a childish smile and he looked so innocent with an allure of maturity. “We were talking about the fact that you haven’t told me yet that you’re a Real Madrid fan, and Matt here said you’re disappointed of the fact that I’m a Barcelona fan, cause you think Madrid are better. So Matt was asking for your opinion.”
“Football? Really, Matthew?” I asked and he shrugged and started laughing as I ran a hand through my hair.
“You didn’t tell me you are into soccer,” Alex said with a smile as he caressed my cheek once more.
“Because I’m not. Not particularly. When Matt and I lived together it was almost impossible to do something else than watch their matches, especially when Rick was there and they yelled so loud at the screen it was impossible not to get… in the mood I guess.”
“So now it’s my fault!” Matt complained rolling his eyes. “You should just admit you have this huge crush on Xabi Alonso and Iker Casillas and that’s why you watched football with us.”
“That’s irrelevant,” I said and Matt laughed.
“Wait. You lived… together?” Alex asked looking at me then at Matt then at me again.
“Oh, yeah. For… about a year and a half… Or more,” Matt said with a smirk.
He really enjoyed that! I noticed Alex’s jaw clenching, but he tried to look all casual and okay with it, even though it was clear he was going to ask more about it later.
The rest of the meal went pretty much like that, Matt saying something and Alex disapproving of what he had said or the other way around, me in the middle trying to make everyone happy or just keeping myself busy with my salad, Alex acting so much like Matt and Matt acting so much like himself and it was so clearly why they couldn’t stand each other. It was like they were twins or… clones. Only that they didn’t look alike.
“So why did you two live together?” Alex asked me when we came back to the office and Matt let us alone.
“Because… my best friend and roommate, Monica, who is now Matt’s fiancée, wanted to move in with Matt’s roommate, her boyfriend at the time, Ben and then I just thought it would be a good idea if Matt and I lived together.”
“And it was?”
“Oh, clearly,” I said without thinking and then I realized I had a smile I shouldn’t have on my face. “At the time.”
“I thought Rick couldn’t stand Matt.”
“He can’t. He hates him,” I said with a shrug, trying to not look bothered by it, but it did bother me. Matt and Rick used to be friends, and now Matt’s pretty much alone as far as I know.
“So why did they watch soccer games together? I don’t like Matt and it’s sure as hell I wouldn’t watch a soccer game with him.”
“Why don’t you like Matt? And Rick and Matt used to be best friends. At some point.”
“I think you like Matt enough for me too,” Alex confessed and I sighed, but he gave me a short kiss on the lips and smiled. “It’s okay, anyway. And… Why aren’t they friends anymore?”
“Because Matt is dating Monica.”
“So?”
“So Rick likes Monica. Too many questions, Alex,” I said laughing, but I stopped when I noticed his serious expression. “What?”
“Nothing. It’s just really hard to understand your relationship with this Mr. Arrogant and why are you acting like that around him and if I should just… back off.”
“No! You don’t, and I don’t… act in any way around Matt, we’ve been friends for like… forever,” I said with a smile. “Stop worrying, Alex, okay?” I said as I took a step closer to him and wrapped my left hand around his neck while I placed the other one on his chest. “I like you, Alex,” I whispered and he smiled and leaned over me and kissed me softly.
“Good, cause I kinda like you, too, Ems,” he said after he kissed me again. “And now I’ll let you work,” Alex continued and kissed me again. “In a second.”
“Just go!” I said laughing and he nodded and kissed me again before going towards his office.
“I really, really hate that he calls you “Ems”,” Matt said and I was surprised to see him leaning on his office’s door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. “Would you finish that report now, Ems?” he said emphasizing my nickname. “Oh, it sounds way cooler when I say it.”
“Obviously, Mr. Arrogant,” I whispered to myself after he disappeared into his office.
*
I was leaning against the kitchen counter and trying to eat the pizza slice I had left. I wasn’t in the mood to eat, although I was kind of hungry, but staying here was more than I could bear.
Yes, it has been almost 8 months since Matt and Monica told me they were dating, and they were so happy and everything, and yet I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t stay in the middle of Monica’s kitchen (now Matt’s kitchen too since he lives here) and listen to her constant rambling about how awesome Matt is. I knew all that. I knew he was great, handsome, smart, good looking, hot, caring, funny and arrogant, idiot, and self-centered. Also I knew everything he hated and I hated it too, because I couldn’t stand something that bothered him. I knew what he loved and I loved it also, because nothing in this world could make me happier than seeing my best friend and the guy I love happy.
But I couldn’t say that to Monica, I couldn’t express anything I felt because I felt I was betraying her. Even though she was the one who has stolen Matt from me. Yes, I know, I shouldn’t think that, but who can blame me? I can’t possibly imagine a moment when I will agree completely with their relationship and truthfully say I’m over it. Yes, I’m somehow over it, because I’m dating Alex and they are getting married so I can’t say anything, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me.
“God, somehow I think he’s way too perfect to be true, you know what I mean?” Monica asked as she ran her hand through her golden hair.
She looked even more beautiful than she usually was, because she has that glow in her eyes that she never had with Ben. And it kills me to know that she’s happier with Matt and this is one of the reasons I couldn’t say or do anything to get him back. Because she was happy. And even though he complains a lot, he’s happy too.
“And he is just… so cute when it comes to this wedding thing. I mean, he hasn’t complained that I ta
lk about it 24/7 and I wish I could just stop, but I can’t. It’s too amazing. And I am so excited. I can’t believe it’s only five months away!”
Yeah, guess what, me neither.
“It will be perfect, I’m so sure of it. Because we are perfect together. Not just because we’re both incredibly good looking, but because there is connection between us…”
Oh, please, shut up!
“So anyway, I know I probably shouldn’t ask you this… but…” Monica started and gave me a confused look while I tried not to panic thinking maybe she knows something about us or that it is somehow too obvious from the way I look at him.
“Yes?” I continued with a scratchy voice.
“I know you and Alex are pretty serious right now, Em, but… Will you still be serious in five months? Because if I confirm the guest list and you guys will sit next to each other in church, plus the restaurant and then you’d stop getting along and you’d make a scene and…”
“Monica. Breathe. Alex and I are serious, and he’s all excited about the wedding and yes, we will attend it together and of course I won’t make a scene, it’s your wedding, Mon!”
She seemed relieved and I sighed and then tried my best to force a smile. Monica smiled back and returned to her pizza slice and continued talking about the wedding.
“I don’t know about Gabrielle, though. Who’s her plus one? Jensen? Because just imagine writing my invitations and having Jensen Ackles’ name there!” Monica said.
“You know, maybe she will. I think she has to stop this. She’s really wasting time and from where I stand, waiting is never good. You’ll always lose.”
“What you’re talking about?”
“Nothing. Just… saying,” I continued with a smile and Monica shrugged.
“I hate that Ben won’t come to the wedding, though.”
“How do you even expect him to come? His ex is marrying his best friend, that’s not…”
“You’d think Ben is a grown up by now. He’s 28 for Christ’s sake. He should stop acting like a teenager. We’ve been through this. Things change. And I never thought I’d marry Ben anyway. He wasn’t husband material. I couldn’t see myself with Ben in 10 years.”
“But you can see yourself with Matt?” I asked with a sarcastic tone.
“As a matter of fact, yes. Em, you have no idea how great he is. We have this strong, mature relationship and he’s definitely The One. I know that,” she said with a proud smile and I couldn’t say anything so I just nodded.
Mature. Strong. Relationship.
With Matt?
I mean, are you insane?! Matt is the guy who is opposite to the word “mature”. He’s careless, immature and way too self-centered for that.
I hated listening to Monica saying just how perfect Matt was. I thought about that myself, back in Connecticut and New York, but he’s not that great since he took advantage of the first opportunity with Monica and forgot about me so easily.
But of course, I was a grown up now and I had to be nice to them. Even though sometimes I felt like I didn’t even know them anymore. That Monica and Matt were two different people now. Not my friends who were always there for me and the people I’ve spent most of my time with.
“So Rick’s coming to the wedding, right?”
“I don’t know,” I responded with a shrug.
Rick’s still mad about the fact that Matt hooked up with Monica, because he still had that crush on her, plus he knows how hurt I’ve been when the two of them got together, and he was one of the greatest people alive just for sticking around. I know, he’s my brother, but that doesn’t mean he is obliged to stay around.
“I hate that he’s like that. I know he’s your brother, but he’s acting silly. I could never look at him that way, plus now I have Matt and I couldn’t look at that at anyone else now. Not even at Jensen Ackles.”
“Oh, shut up, you’d like Jensen. He’s the greatest,” I said with a laugh.
“Yeah, why is that you’re the only one who met him? It’s not fair. She’s doing that again. She barely let us talk to Shia, even though I’d already met him, and now she’s keeping Jensen to herself.”
“She’s not. She’s just… In denial for the moment,” I replied and laughed. “She will accept that she’s so in love with Jensen, and then we’ll get the time to talk to him. And man, I can’t wait!”
Monica laughed and nodded and once more I was forced to finish that slice of pizza.
“Um… By the way…” she continued after a few minutes and ran a hand through her hair again and started walking around the kitchen. “I have another question, actually.”
“Shoot.”
“Will you be my maid of honor, Emma?”
Chapter 33
When I was your man
~ Matt Nicholls ~
“I just don’t like the guy, Ems,” I told her with a shrug and she gave me a sweet smile.
“Is it because he likes Barcelona?” Emma asked and laughed.
“What? Oh, yes he likes Barcelona,” I emphasized and gave her a confused look. “So do you even think about dating the guy? Am I allowed to fire him now?”
“No, you cannot fire him, he’s he manager of Human Resources and he runs those things and you have no responsibility there and…”
“Oh, stop defending him. Ems, c’mon, it’s Barcelona!” I said and made a face of disgust.
“I know, Nicholls, but I like him okay? So just drop it.”
“What’s there to like about him?” I asked leaning on her desk and looked around where Alex was surrounded by a couple of blonde girls who were all giggling at his charm. I was better than him!
He ran a hand through his ruffled hair and looked over us and I felt Emma shifting in her seat. My eyes went wide open as I saw him giving her a smile and she returned it. What?
“Emma, stop flirting with the guy from H.R.”
“Matt, stop telling me what I should do,” she replied with a harsh tone.
“I’m sorry,” I told her and she nodded. “Still, Ems, it’s B-a-r-c-e-l-o-n-a. We don’t like Barcelona.”
“No, Matthew, you don’t like Barcelona. I don’t have to dislike everything you say it’s wrong and I definitely don’t have to like everything you do.”
“Where’s this coming from?”
“Never mind. Will you please just leave me work?”
“No! What’s the matter, Ems? Is it because of Alex?”
“What’s the matter with Alex?!” Emma yelled and half of the department turned to look at her and she shook her head. “Just leave me alone, Matthew.”
“I’m sorry. I know I have no right to-“
“Matthew. Now,” she said and I nodded.
I walked away from her office and went to my office, leaving the door open. I wondered what happened that made her act like that. I’ve known Emma for a lot of years now and we never acted like that around each other. Okay, maybe when we argued a few months ago because of what I did with Monica. But this couldn’t have something to do with Monica, right?
It was all about that Ken doll named Alex. I hated the moment he was transferred here. He came with his charming attitude and acted like everything he did was cool. It was not. That was my job to make everything look cool around me. Because I was cool. He wasn’t. He couldn’t just walk around with a smirk on his face and hands in his pockets and perfect styled hair. And he wasn’t even that funny. I didn’t understand why all the girls laughed at everything he said. He looked like a clown. Monica thought he was charming, though. Why would she think so? She hasn’t even met him. Monica had good taste in men. She was dating me now. And she dated Ben, and that says something.
I stormed out of my office, planning on asking Emma what’s the deal with the guy, when I noticed she wasn’t at her desk, but she was talking in a corner with... guess who? Alex. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. Okay, I can’t understand her.
“You love her,
right?” I jumped when I heard that and I turned around and saw Sabrina standing next to me with a smirk on her face.
“What? I’m getting married, Sabrina.”
“I know, but the way you glance at him…” she suggested with a shrug.
“Stop it. You don’t know anything.”
“Maybe. But you’re jealous, Mr. Nicholls.”
“I’m not jealous of that… thing,” I replied, pointing at Alex. “He’s like… the lamest guy in the world.”
“I think he’s hot. Charming. Intelligent. Funny.”
“Okay, stop it. I don’t see it that way.”
“You’re a guy and you feel threatened by him, I get it. You definitely want Emma for yourself, but you’re getting married so it doesn’t fit your plans.”
“Sabrina, you don’t know me. At all.”
“Anyone could figure you’re crazy about her. Maybe she’s the only one who’s oblivious to that. But you’re jealous because since Alex transferred here he’s been flirting with Emma. And she seems to like him back. But I could’ve sworn you two will end up together,” she finished her speech with a sigh. “But it would have been way too good to be true, right, Mr. Nicholls?”
“I’m not crazy about her,” I whispered and Sabrina laughed.
“Sure. Keep lying to yourself. It’s pretty obvious here, okay? I knew from the very first time, you always preferred her. And I get it. She’s an amazing person.”
“She is,” I agreed immediately.
“See? You love her, Mr. Nicholls.”
“I told you, Sabrina, I’m getting married and-“
“Save that crap for your cute little fiancée. I know the truth. And you know it as well, but you’re too stupid to admit it. Have a good day,” she said as she walked away.
Nodding, I took another look at Emma to notice her laughing at one of his jokes. He’s not a funny guy, for Christ’s sake! I am, though. She always laughed with me. I knew how to make her laugh and I knew what she liked. He, on the other hand, had no idea just how great Emma was.
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