"You were right, Janeen. I should have never gotten married."
"Ah." Janeen studied her friend closely. "Boy, he must have been a real dud in bed, huh?"
Lindsey gave an unladylike snort. "On the contrary. He was the answer to every woman's dreams."
Janeen looked at her with raised brows. "That good, huh?"
Silence stretched out.
Lindsey gave a heartfelt sigh. "Nooo…that wasn't the problem."
Janeen's eyes twinkled. "That's good. Whooeee," she said, flicking her fingers as though they were burning, "then he must have been boorrring out of bed. What a letdown. Too bad we can't seem to find guys who're fun to be with and great in bed. Guess we can't have everything."
Lindsey stared into space as though her mind were somewhere else.
Janeen waited. She might be irritating Lindsey with her comments but at least she was pulling her out of the numb state that had so worried Janeen.
"Jared is very entertaining," Lindsey eventually said, sounding thoughtful. "He's warm and tender, loves to tease, doesn't take himself too seriously, makes me feel beautiful, treats me like I'm someone very special to him."
Janeen studied Lindsey in silence, watching her expression change from blank to pain. She loved Lindsey and she hated to think that anyone had hurt her so badly.
In a musing tone, Janeen said, "Well, no wonder you couldn't put up with him for a more than a week. Sounds like a louse, through and through."
Lindsey choked and started laughing. Janeen grinned at her friend until she realized that Lindsey's laughter had turned into tears.
Janeen rushed over to the bed and wrapped her arms around her friend. "Tell me," she whispered, holding her close. "You're safe here with me, Lindsey."
"I know," she said, wiping her eyes. "The truth is, I somehow managed to screw up my life because, once again, I believed in my father."
"And now you don't?"
Lindsey shook her head. "Did I tell you that I called him Christmas Day? He's very upset that I've moved here and was giving me one of his lectures, when I stopped him by telling him of the absurd story the Crenshaws had cooked up about him."
"What kind of absurd story?"
"That my dad was the person behind Jared being in my bed."
Janeen stared at her, practically speechless. Finally, she said, "No kidding?"
"No kidding, but I told Jared and his father that it was a pack of lies to smear my father."
"Only it wasn't a lie."
More tears fell. "When I told Dad what I'd heard, he got all pompous and in his father-knows-best voice told me that he'd only done it for my own good. That the Crenshaws are a powerful family in the state. That he knew I'd be well taken care of. That the connection would be of mutual benefit to them as well as to him. That after all his planning to get me married, I had the nerve to run off to New York, anyway, despite his wishes."
"Why, that old buzzard! What a sleazebucket."
As though a dam had suddenly burst inside her, Lindsey poured out her hurt between sobs.
"Janeen…my whole life…has been a lie…everything I've believed about my dad…has been a lie…I thought I had…good judgment…about people…and I don't…oh, Janeen, I don't…and it h-hurts…so much…my dad…is nothing…like I thought…he's a h-horrible man…he uses people…he doesn't care…who it is…not even me…I…I'm nothing more…to him…than…than…a commodity…to use to…get something…he wants…oh Janeen…it h-hurts so much…what am I…going…to do? I'll never…be able to…face Jared again…after all the things…I said about him…and his f-father."
Janeen was normally not a violent person, but if the good senator had been there at that moment, she would have shot him and considered it justifiable homicide!
She murmured soothing, nonsensical phrases while she held on to her friend, letting Lindsey purge herself of some of the heartache she was feeling.
When Lindsey's bout of tears subsided, Janeen slipped away and went into the bathroom. She wet a washcloth with cool water, wrung out the excess and took it to Lindsey. "Here, sweetie, put this against your eyes. I'm going to make us some tea. Coffee is good for what ails you, but tea is definitely a comfort drink."
When Janeen returned, Lindsey was in the bathroom. Janeen could hear the water running—Lindsey was in the shower. She waited and eventually Lindsey opened the door, wearing her fleecy bathrobe and a towel around her head.
Lindsey's eyes looked awful, so swollen, Janeen knew it must be painful for her to keep them open.
"Thank you," Lindsey said hoarsely, accepting the cup of tea. "For much more than the tea. Thank you for being my friend, for understanding me so well."
"That's what friends are for," Janeen replied.
They returned to their previous positions and sipped on their tea in companionable silence. Time passed. Janeen didn't care. There was nothing more important for her to do today than be there for her friend.
"You know," Lindsey said, "one of the really awful things, one of the most humiliating things that happened, is that Jared asked me to marry him even though he didn't want to get married."
"Why would he do that, do you suppose?"
Lindsey's lips quivered and she bit down hard on her bottom lip. "Because he wanted to do the right thing and my dad was throwing such a fit."
"Really! What was in it for Jared, do you suppose?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I can't believe the man's so altruistic that he'd marry you out of the kindness of his heart. I mean, come on. He must have gotten some benefit out of marrying you. What do you think that was?"
Lindsey gave her a suspicious look. When Janeen continued to look at her without smiling, she said, "He kept me in bed with him for a week. I suppose that was a benefit of sorts."
"True," Janeen replied thoughtfully. "What else?"
"Oh, I don't know," Lindsey replied peevishly, "to make my dad happy, okay?"
"But I thought you told me that he didn't need your dad's influence or support," Janeen replied.
"He doesn't."
"So, what's the deal here?"
"There was such a change in him! I mean, once I walked out on him at a local café, we never spoke again. Not until Thanksgiving when my dad had his heart attack—probably his fake heart attack, for all I know—but it worked, didn't it? I contacted Jared and practically begged him to marry me."
"And that's when he should have told you to get lost and leave him alone."
A tear slipped down Lindsey's cheek. "I know. Instead, he immediately agreed that we should get married as soon as possible."
"Oh, sweetie, I think that poor husband of yours did everything in his power to right a wrong he wasn't responsible for in the first place."
"Of course he did! Don't you see? I ruined any chance we might have had to make the marriage work!"
Janeen raised her eyebrows. "Really. So…you want the marriage to continue."
"Obviously not now. I never want to face the man again."
"Are you saying that you're in love with him?"
"That's the absolute worst thing that could have happened under the circumstances, and yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you."
"Oh, Lindsey, I'm so terribly sorry."
"You warned me. You told me to stop caving in to my dad's demands."
"Yes, but if you love Jared, then marrying him was the right thing to do."
"For all the wrong reasons." Lindsey got off the bed and rewet the washcloth, then returned to the bed and covered her eyes again.
"Doesn't matter, you know. The fact is that you fell in love with your own husband. How neat is that? So are you going to let your father's behavior stop you from being with the man you love?"
"He hates me, Janeen." She lifted the cloth and looked at her friend. "In fact, Jared thinks I was part of Dad's machinations."
"So tell him you weren't. Tell him you want to start all over. Call him."
"I can't."
"You'
re being a coward."
"Right the first time."
"What if he's in love with you?"
"Don't make me laugh."
"Actually, I'd very much like to make you laugh—I haven't heard you laugh since you arrived. From everything you've said, I think the week in Cancun was about more than sex. But you'll never know if you don't talk to him and explain why you left so abruptly and how you feel about everything now that you know the truth."
Lindsey got off the bed and began to pace. "He's going to Saudi Arabia in a week or so. It won't matter what I might say to him, he's leaving the country. Which is just as well." She continued to pace with jerky steps. "I wouldn't know what to say to him. 'Sorry you got involved with the Russells'? Well, I'm sure he is, too. No, it's over. I'm sticking to our plan. That's the best and most loving thing I can do for him—give him his freedom."
"Do I hear something of the martyr in your voice? 'Oh, that's all right. I'll suffer in silence, never letting him know how I feel about him. It's okay.'"
Lindsey spun around on her heel, her face flushed with anger. Janeen didn't care. She'd gotten her friend out of her funk—at least temporarily.
"You're really being obnoxious, you know that, don't you?"
"Sure do. Call him."
"All right! I'll call him! Are you satisfied?"
Janeen silently handed her the cordless phone.
Lindsey looked horrified. "Not now! Not today. I'll call him tomorrow, first thing in the morning. I'll wish him a happy new year and good luck on his job and tell him that I now know the truth about my father. I'll apologize for what I had said, then I'll hang up."
Janeen stood. She'd done all she could. The rest was up to Lindsey. "Tomorrow. Good idea. You'll be starting off the new year with a clean slate."
Lindsey nodded her head. "Yes."
Janeen walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind her before rolling her eyes in exasperation. She knew Lindsey well enough to know that she would find logical and reasonable excuses not to call Jared until after he left the States.
However, Janeen felt that she'd given Lindsey an opportunity to think things through more clearly, at least where Jared was concerned. As far as the senator, Janeen had taken a personal delight in delivering Lindsey's message that she didn't want to talk to him when he'd called this morning. Until now, she hadn't known why and figured that Lindsey didn't want to weaken her resolve to stay in New York by speaking to him.
Her friend would heal, she knew. Too bad she would do it without giving her marriage a chance.
* * *
That evening Janeen stuck her head around Lindsey's door. "I'm leaving now. Are you sure you don't want to come with me? Tonight's the biggest party of the year. There's plenty of room for you if you'll change your mind."
Lindsey looked up from the book she was reading. "Thanks for the invitation, Janeen. I'm just not in a partying kind of mood, I'm afraid. You've helped me today by being here for me and I appreciate it more than I can say. Go. Have a blast. You can tell me all about it tomorrow."
"Well, okay," Janeen said with a sigh. She closed the door and then opened it again. "Oh! I almost forgot. I found a tall, good-looking cowboy at the front door. You won't mind if I take him with us tonight, will you? He definitely looks like my kind of guy!"
"A cowboy?" Lindsey repeated, putting her book down. "You mean here?"
"Yep. I opened the door and there he was, all bundled in a sheepskin coat, wearing boots and a western hat. You should get a look at those blue eyes! I'm going to—"
That's all Janeen got out of her mouth before her closest friend pushed around her and ran toward the living room. Janeen smiled to herself. It might turn out to be a good new year after all.
Twelve
Lindsey stopped abruptly at the end of the hallway. Why had she come racing out here like this?
Because you're thrilled he's here!
What was she going to say to him?
What you planned to tell him on the phone.
What was he doing here?
Here's an idea. Why don't you stop hovering in the hall, go into the living room and ask him?
She touched her hair. It was a mess. She needed to go back and—
You do realize that you're being ridiculous. Jared has seen your hair messed up before. In fact, he's helped to mess it up on several occasions. Go!
Lindsey walked into the living room. Jared stood just inside the door, holding his hat. When he saw her, his initial response almost undid her. The look of love and longing—along with his beautiful smile—caused her throat to close. Then his face was wiped clear of all expression and she wondered if she'd imagined that he'd appeared to be glad to see her.
She paused and stared at him, drinking in his presence, wanting him so badly she thought she might die from the ache.
"Jared. What a surprise," she said, inwardly blessing Janeen for getting her out of bed, bathed and shampooed—as well as dressed—today.
Janeen had described him well. He wore a heavy coat, that came to the knees of his jeans, and his boots. He'd never looked so good to her.
She clasped her hands tightly so that she wouldn't run across the room and throw her arms around his neck, begging for his forgiveness. Lindsey heard Janeen behind her and turned around to introduce them. For the first time she noticed how Janeen was dressed and for a moment, she was speechless. Her tall, statuesque friend had on a silver lamé gown that clung to her voluptuous curves. No way could she be wearing underwear without it showing.
"Janeen, I'd like to introduce you to Jared Crenshaw. I may have mentioned him to you."
When she looked at Lindsey Janeen's expression projected her thoughts so clearly, Lindsey was certain that Jared could easily interpret them. "I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr. Crenshaw," she said graciously. "You're Lindsey's husband, aren't you?"
"I am," he responded with no hesitation.
"Oh, darn," Janeen replied, her eyes filled with mischief. "You're already married," she said with an exaggerated pout. "Just my luck. Do they grow many good-looking guys like you down in Texas?"
He tried not to laugh, Lindsey could tell, but his grin kept escaping. "As a matter of fact, ma'am, there's a bunch of them like me, and most of them are kinfolk."
Janeen grabbed her chest. "Oh, be still, my heart. I'm moving to Texas tomorrow."
"And this," Lindsey said dryly, "is my incorrigible friend, Janeen White."
Jared held out his hand. "I'm pleased to meet you, ma'am. Lindsey speaks of you often."
Lindsey noted that Jared kept his eyes focused solely on Janeen's face, despite the shimmering dress—which won him an untold amount of spousal points.
Janeen dropped her teasing and shook his hand. "I'm so glad to finally get to meet you, Jared. Lindsey's told me a great deal about you. Sorry I left you standing there like that. I wasn't sure how Lindsey was going to—"
"Aren't you supposed to be going somewhere?" Lindsey cut in hurriedly.
Jared's impassive expression gave no hint of what he might be thinking. "I hope you don't believe everything she says about me, even if it's true."
Janeen turned and looked at Lindsey, fluttering her lashes, and Lindsey knew Janeen was capable of saying the most outrageous things. She cringed to think of all the many answers Jared might hear.
She needn't have worried. Janeen looked back at Jared, her smile heartwarming. "I've only heard good things about you, believe me."
Lindsey was disconcerted to see the look of surprise on Jared's face.
"Well, I'm out of here, guys," Janeen said. "Enjoy your evening. I doubt I'll make it home much before three." She picked up her floor-length wrap and draped it over her shoulders. "I'm glad I had the chance to put a face to the name, Jared. Take care."
After Janeen left the only sound in the room was the ticking of the wall clock. Jared looked at it and did a double take.
Lindsey smiled. "You'd have to know Janeen, Jared. She's never predictable."<
br />
The sophisticated lady who had just left them had a clock shaped like a cat, with a tail that swished back and forth at every beat and eyes that rolled in time.
"She said that Oscar was the only pet her landlord allowed her to have, so he has a prominent place in the apartment."
"Ah."
Feeling more nervous now that they were alone, Lindsey walked toward him and asked, "May I take your coat? Would you like something to drink?"
She thought he seemed to relax a little, but she could be imagining it.
He slipped out of the coat and handed it to her. "Coffee sounds good," he said, blowing on his fingers. "I should have grabbed my gloves."
Lindsey hung his coat in the hall closet and when she headed for the kitchen, Jared followed her.
She trembled so that it would be her luck to spill coffee grounds everywhere when she measured out the coffee. She glanced at him and said conversationally, "I can't get over the surprise of your being here. When did you arrive?"
He glanced at his watch. "A couple of hours ago, I guess."
"Oh! Will you be staying in New York long?"
He shrugged. "'Fraid not. I'm on my way to Saudi and decided to leave enough time in my travel schedule to drop by to see you."
She had such a thick lump in her throat, she wasn't certain she could talk. He must have gotten over some of his anger at her and her father if he was willing to look her up.
"Oh." Lindsey stepped back from the counter with a sigh of relief. The coffee was now dripping into the carafe and she hadn't spilled a thing. "Why don't we go into the living room? The coffee won't take long."
She led the way and motioned for him to sit. She chose a chair across from him. "How did you find me?"
"It wasn't difficult. Whoever answers the phone at your dad's office not only knew Janeen's last name but gave me the address, as well."
"Oh. Well." She looked at her hands clasped in her lap.
After a slight pause, they both spoke at once.
"It's quite a coincidence that you showed up here tonight. I was planning to call—"
"I didn't really figure you'd want to see me but I—"
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