by S. M. West
So hard because I won’t be able to stop once I start. One kiss will not be enough. I’ll lose all control.
Then what? How do I explain to Finn that I threw away our life-long friendship for a kiss? And not just any kiss. A kiss with his sister.
Punching down my desire, I switch gears and give her what I should have hours ago.
“I was a jerk last night. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, you were.” She pauses, her sky-blue eyes flickering to my mouth. “But it’s forgotten. Apology accepted.”
“You guys coming? Or are you going to eye-fuck each other all day?” Ken’s holler finally pulls us apart.
I wiggle free, and she frowns, pausing before swimming to the shore. I follow, and when we’re close to the grassy bank, she deliberately bumps my shoulder, naughtily shoving me under the surface of the lake. She giggles and with a few strokes, she is at the water’s edge and out of my reach.
Ken laughs, high-fiving her, and Paige lingers close by, with her overnight bag in hand, watching.
“Hey, keep that up, Raine, and you’ll regret it,” I tease, pulling myself up and out of the lake.
“You’d have to catch me first.” She winks, squeezing excess water from her hair.
My eyes flick to her chest and my heart slams into my rib cage. “Shit, Pippa, you’re hurt.”
Without thinking, I rush to her, my fingers lightly tracing the large blue welt cresting her cleavage. Her skin’s wet and soft. She laughs nervously, trembling at my touch. Upon closer inspection, it dawns on me that the bruise isn’t fresh. It’s neither swollen nor red, but the realization doesn’t stop me from touching her.
“Oh, this isn’t from now.” She shivers, her eyes darkening. “I got this from paintball a few days ago.”
Paige clears her throat and my hand falls to my side, still tingling from the feel of Pippa. My sister wears a sly grin that forces me to step back from her friend, but not before fixing my gaze on Pippa, once again.
I keep my eyes above the neck, not daring to drink in her gorgeous form. I’m not making that mistake again or else I won’t be held accountable for my actions. Ken and Paige be damned.
“Drew,” Paige’s sharp tone cuts my desire to shreds. “I’m here to help. Tell me what you want me to do.”
The girls share a furtive glance before Pippa heads to the sliding door.
Don’t look at her ass.
“I thought you were leaving.” I motion to her bag, and Ken tosses me a towel.
“No, I’m just putting our stuff in the car. We don’t have to leave for a few more hours. Is that okay with you?” She glances over her shoulder at Pippa drying off.
“I meant to tell you. I’m going to stay a few days and help out,” Pippa says.
“You are?” Paige’s back is to me, but her tone is telling. She wants to know what’s going on and reading way too much into Pippa’s news.
“Yeah, Pip offered to help since she’s off, but, nah, it’s cool. Go home.” I’m flippant and wince internally at the dimming light in Pippa’s gaze. I didn’t mean it like that.
“Ohmigod, you’re bleeding,” Paige gasps, going to her friend and blocking my view.
I eat the few feet to Pippa, but Ken beats me there. His hands are on her, examining a two-inch cut with one hand curled around her inner thigh and the other lightly stretching the wound. My jaw tightens and I cross my arms over my chest to stop myself from pushing him out of the way. He’s helping. Nothing more.
“It’s not deep. I didn’t even realize it.” Pippa leans over to inspect the scratch. “Nothing antibiotic ointment and a Band-Aid can’t fix.” She shrugs, smiles, and slides the door open
“Let me take a look.” It’s an order, not a request or a suggestion.
Paige and Ken swivel their heads in my direction, both with matching expressions of surprise.
“Nah, it’s cool. I’ve got it.” She echoes my flip tone and some of my words from moments ago.
Not waiting for my response, Pippa goes inside, and my sister follows. I’m an asshole. Taking out my frustration on others and snapping at them isn’t usually how I deal with things.
More than ever I want to give into my impulse for Pippa and see where this intensely crazy thing between us goes.
If only I could talk to Finn and make him see what I feel for his sister is nothing close to his worst fears. Sure, I’m definitely lusting after her. My fucking hard on is proof of that.
But I fell in love with her the second I laid eyes on her wrapped in her mother’s arms. My love was pure and childlike—I had no clue I’d feel this way then—and over the years, she’s driven me mad more times than I can count, but that’s just one of the many things I love about her.
She’s bold and determined, but also the first to see the good in any situation and the first to bring people together.
I’ve got to figure out a way to get through to Finn or walk away from Pippa altogether.
“What the hell is your problem?” Ken scowls, confirming my own thoughts. I am an asshole. “Did you have to be a dick? Especially to someone you care about?”
“Back off,” I growl, mad at myself.
“Or what, you’re gonna tell me to leave too? You don’t have to tell me twice.” He stalks toward the water. “I’ll fix this”—he points to the remnants of the pier floating in the water—“and be gone.”
“Stop this shit. Stay.” I’m more frustrated than sincere and dig deep to muster my patience. “I was an ass.”
“What?” He’s loving this. “Say it again.”
I laugh, and the tension eases from my shoulders if only in this moment. He’s such a goof but a good friend. One who calls me on my crap and makes me laugh.
“Not a chance. We good now?”
“Yeah, we’re good.” He dips his chin and wades into the lake to clean up his mess.
Time to make amends with Pippa. I pass Paige on my way up, heading out the front door with what I’m pretty sure is Pippa’s bag. Once upstairs, I knock on the closed bedroom door and wait.
She opens it, now fully clothed in a t-shirt and shorts, and her wet hair is piled into a topknot. With barely a glance at me, she’s back to whatever she was doing before I arrived.
“Can I come in?” I ask, still at the door.
“Sure. It’s your cottage.” Her voice is flat, and she doesn’t bother with me, gathering her things strewn about.
It’s amazing how her belongings occupy almost every inch of the room and she’s been here less than twenty-four hours. It feels right, like she fits.
I don’t bother with preamble and get to the point. “Please stay.”
She drops a hairbrush on the bed, her contemplative stare is so intimate it’s as if she can see into my soul and knows my deepest desires. I have so much I want to say to her, and I wonder if she already knows. Most of all, I want her to stay. The opposite of what is best for both of us.
I should let her go even if she’s upset with me. It’s for her own good. For the good of our families. For my friendship with her brother. But right now, none of it is enough to stop me.
“Why? So you can play big brother?” She crosses her arms, and her usually plump lips thin.
“No.” I was an ass last night and today. “I want you with me.”
6
Pippa
Alec and Paige left last night right after dinner. Paige headed home for work, and Alec was going to join Sam and Olivia in Montreal. While he loves spending his summers in his home town, this time he seemed reluctant to leave. So much so, he reminded Drew that he was cutting his Montreal trip short so he could come back and work on the cottage.
It was a lot quieter today with just the three of us. Drew and I worked on the deck while Ken finished dismantling the pier. The work was bone-tiring, but Drew’s happy with the result, so that makes me happy. So happy all I want to do is curl into a ball and sleep.
Sprawled on the couch, I’m exhausted from a day of stripping and repainting
the deck, and my eyes drift close when Ken bursts through the front door with a bunch of strangers
He left an hour ago, supposedly on his way to Toronto because he has work tomorrow. But considering the rowdy bunch he has in tow, it looks like his plans changed.
The women are young and bubbly with low-cut shirts and barely-there shorts. And most of the guys are buff and loud, laughing and dropping f-bombs like raindrops falling from the sky.
Drew thunders from the kitchen at the noise. His expression cutting, and I sit upright, holding my breath.
“What the?” His voice slices through the racket and everyone stills. All eyes are on Drew.
The silence doesn’t last long. Ken’s the first to find his wits. “Hey, I met these guys in town and thought we could hang on the deck.”
He pats Drew on the shoulder before heading to the doors that lead outside. To the deck.
“Off limits,” Drew growls.
He’s pissed, but it’s hard to tell if it’s at Ken’s ignorance; he knows the deck is wet. Or is he livid because Ken took it upon himself to invite seven strangers to his place?
Drew isn’t an uptight guy, contrary to what these people are witnessing. He knows how to have a good time as much as anyone else, but he doesn’t want to waste his limited time cleaning up or fixing damage caused by drunkards.
“Shit, yeah, right.” Ken rotates on his heel in the direction of the kitchen.
Drew follows, and I bound from the couch, ignoring my protesting muscles. I ache everywhere but enter the kitchen, slipping into the corner to watch quietly.
“We’ll take it outside.” Ken grabs a six-pack of beer from the fridge.
By now, two girls have joined us, smiling at both Ken and Drew. Neither acknowledges me, and I’m fine with that. Ken tags the taller of the two around the waist and the other super busty one hesitates, shifting from one foot to the other, watching Drew like a lion would a gazelle.
“Are you coming, Scott?” she purrs, licking her lips.
“What?” Drew’s annoyed glance matches his tone.
“Has anyone ever told you that you look like Scott Eastwood?” She pivots to fully face him, flipping her hair over one shoulder. “Except way hotter.”
She laughs, blushing and winking, expecting him to gobble it up. Her flattery is lost on him, even if she is right. He does look like the actor, and Clint Eastwood’s son, but hotter, and I’m fed up with her feasting on him even if I can’t say that I blame her.
Drew doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t acknowledge her. He doesn’t move a muscle. He only has eyes for Ken, and it isn’t in a good way. More in the way the Hulk pulverizes anything that pisses him off.
Ken isn’t on board with the reality that his college days are behind him. Parties, beer, and sex are constantly on his mind and not particularly in that order. Tomorrow, hungover and wishing he could die, I hope he realizes how much of an asshole he was to drop an impromptu party on Drew.
“Yeah, join us,” Ken calls from the other room. “You too, Pip.”
With the mention of my name, Drew’s furious gaze lands on me and softens. “We’ll be out soon,” he says.
Busty’s desperate gaze lingers, watching us stare at each other, before she takes the hint and leaves.
“Finally. I thought she’d never go,” Drew says.
“Me too.” I step from the corner. “I take it Ken didn’t tell you he was coming back with people?”
“No, he did not. Asshole.” Tension rolls off him in waves.
“You could tell them to leave, or we could make the most of it.” Going to the fridge, I hand him a beer. “Why don’t we join them for a bit? It’s a nice night, and we can kick them to the curb whenever you want.”
A flicker of sunshine finally breaks through his gloom. “Sounds like a plan.”
He takes my hand, leading the way. My insides flip-flop and I try to slow my galloping heart. I will not read anything into the hand-holding. It isn’t like we haven’t held hands before, it’s just that we were kids then.
“It’s time for Ken to go home,” he mutters under his breath and suddenly stops.
A couple is swapping spit on the couch, and Drew sighs.
“Take it outside.” He sounds like an admonishing dad, and the couple slowly breaks apart, dazed. The guy does a double take, not sure if he heard right or maybe he’s not even sure where they are.
“Sure, man.” He stumbles from the couch with the girl.
I snort, amused, and Drew glances playfully at me. I can’t help but feel slight envy, wishing it was us kissing on the couch.
Once outside, most of them are in the lake. Naked. Clothes are scattered around the lit firepit and surrounding Muskoka chairs. The couple from inside, the tongue-tied ones, have taken up residence on the grass, still at it.
The flames glow, giving off both light and heat. We survey the random bikini top or brief lying around, and I giggle.
“Pippa, join us.” Ken is a voice in the dark.
“Skinny dipping!” a deep male voice yells, also from the water. “Take it all off, blondie!”
Drew tightens his grip, his gaze locked on the darkness ahead. “No, Pip, stay here.”
I’m surprised that he thinks I’d jump at the chance to swim naked with strangers. Well, okay, a few years ago, if I’d been drinking and had a trusted friend with me, namely Paige, I might have. But I’ve grown up.
“I wasn’t going to,” I snap, sensing big brother mode coming on, and his gaze finds mine. “But if I wanted to, it isn’t your call.”
“Pip, I didn’t mean it like that.” He runs his hand through his sandy-brown hair. “It’s just… in case you were even thinking about it, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“And why not?” my voice cuts sharply, and the kissers come up for air, their gazes on us as if we’re more interesting than tonsil hockey.
“Pip.” Drew faces me.
My irritation fades at his low, soft tone, and a crazy idea pops into my head.
“Let’s go skinny dipping.” I pull on his hand, wanting to get closer to the water’s edge.
“No.”
He yanks his hand from mine and I choose to ignore his move as well as his insistent tone and tense expression because if I react, this won’t end well.
“C’mon, it’s hot, and I could use a cool-down before bed.”
I toss my oversized shirt over my head to reveal my black sports bra. The muscles of his jaw twitch, and he glares at the guy staring at my breasts from his perch on the grass. The stranger quickly darts his gaze to the girl in his arms. Really? My bra is like a bikini top.
Drew now has his back to me as if I’m naked and I roll my eyes, peeling off my shorts and heading to the water. If he doesn’t want me in the lake naked, he can come get me.
“Pippa,” Drew shouts behind me and judging from the sound of his voice, he hasn’t budged.
His loss. I walk further away from the pit and the rowdy group of people already in the lake. I have no intention of going anywhere near Ken and the strangers he’s partying with.
My frustration at Drew clouds my thoughts. I only wish he wouldn’t go along with Finn’s ironclad rule that I’m off limits. I’ve tried to get through to my big brother over the years, but he’s so unreasonable. Sometimes ballistic.
One particularly volatile encounter flashes through my mind. I’d been openly flirting with Drew at a family dinner and Finn watched for a bit before snapping. No longer able to silently witness our exchange, my brother dragged me away from everyone, fuming. Talk about embarrassing.
“You're playing with fire.” Finn pushed me into the wall, bending so our noses almost touched. “You're a child. He's a man.”
“I'm sixteen.” I pushed at his hard chest. “And all we were doing was talking.”
“I'm not going to always be around to protect you. To save you.” His voice and body shook with rage. And fear. I saw it in his wild glare.
“I don't need saving,” I
hissed, sprays of my saliva hitting his chin. “You think you're so smart and powerful, don't you?”
I was young and good at running my mouth off. I was a jerk to him, even if there was some truth to what I said.
Finn was more than overprotective, more like overbearing. Suffocating. Even my dad, who would rather die than see harm come to any of his kids, wasn’t as smothering as Finn.
I understood what drove my brother to be like that. What only he had witnessed. But I hated what he had become as a result of it and as time went on, my resentment grew, and my understanding diminished.
Laughter coming from the lake draws me back to the present. With my bra and panties off, I inhale deeply, working up the courage to dive into the water. It’s dark and hard to see where the land ends and the water begins.
Even with the dim light of the crescent moon, all I see is a black mass. But it isn’t enough to deter me. The soft, hypnotic lapping of the water beckons to me.
Dipping my toe in, I shiver. It isn’t freezing but still cold despite the thick, warm May air. Faint rustling behind me causes me to turn and see Drew approaching.
“Shit, Pippa.” He turns his back to me. “Put your clothes on.”
He’s vexed, and I battle to keep my emotions in check. He’s taking this big brother thing too far.
Instead of answering him, I dive in, swimming away from the shore, hoping a cold swim will loosen the knot forming in my stomach. When I come up for air, a fast-moving form splashes and swims toward me. Drew. Or at least I hope it’s him.
“Pippa.” He reaches out to stop me.
“What?”
I tread water beside him and the laughter coming from the group not too far away surrounds us.
“Let’s head back in.”
“You can if you want. I’m staying.”
“There’s no way I’m leaving you out here by yourself.” There’s an edge to his tone. “Let’s get out. I’m not thrilled with freezing my nuts off in this cold water.”
“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Something long and smooth glides along my back. “Oh my God!”