How could he explain to her that he only wanted to help? He’d been partially responsible for her job loss and the town thinking they’d been intimate. He just wanted to make up for that. Maybe this had been a bad idea. She was right. How would marrying him help her face the women in town who were probably gossiping over their luncheons right now? Still, he gave an impatient shrug. The idea had merit and he’d be foolish not to realize how much it would benefit him. Lord, if You’re of a mind to, I could use that help right about now.
Her soft hand covered his and he looked up quickly, so surprised his mouth dropped open. He merely stared, tongue-tied. Tears filled the beautiful milk-chocolate orbs regarding him with tenderness. Her voice, when she spoke, still held a touch of hoarseness. “I know you’re trying to help me, and what you said is right; the girls do need someone to take care of them. In a real sense, it’s a lovely suggestion. As my grandmother used to say, it would kill two birds with one stone.”
Josiah watched as she fought some inner battle before speaking again. What an honorable woman she was. Even in distress, she managed to consider the feelings of others. She was three times a lady compared to her accusers.
“I can’t give you my answer right now, Josiah, but I’ll pray about it.” She lifted her hand from his and stood up. She touched his shoulder briefly. “Thank you.”
She walked away with stiff dignity, the long skirt of her dress swaying gently. She paused just inside the door and looked back at him. For a moment she studied him intently and then she was gone.
She’d said thank you? What on earth did that mean? He hadn’t done anything that she had to be thankful for. Had she been referring to him nursing her while she was sick? For proposing marriage to her? What? He gritted his teeth and barely suppressed a groan of frustration.
If he lived to be a hundred, he’d never understand women. And why, Lord, didn’t You give me a more elegant way of speaking and expressing myself? One thing was for certain; Josiah hadn’t the foggiest idea what Anna Mae’s answer would be, nor when she’d tell him.
Chapter Six
Anna Mae took one more look at her reflection in the mirror, then gathered her Bible and shawl in preparation for church. Today, sink, swim or drown, she’d face the gossipmongers and learn if her friends were true or not.
Almost a week had passed since Josiah’s proposal. She’d cowered in her room as much as possible, coming down for meals only after everyone else had left.
Miserable without the twins, she’d worried over Rose. Had Josiah remembered to administer the sweet oil twice a day? Were the girls wondering where she was? Did they cry for her at night? She’d shared their bedroom, many nights placing them in bed with her if they seemed distressed after she diapered them. Their mother had died when they were just babies, then their uncle and Emily Jane had cared for them. Finally their daddy had shown up and taken them. At least with Anna Mae at the farm they’d had the sense of stability of a mother for a brief few days.
Needless to say, the twins needed her, and she needed them. They filled a void she hadn’t recognized she had. That still small voice she’d grown to recognize as the Lord’s asked if she could just walk away from them.
Her friends, Emily Jane and Susanna had visited her. She’d shared Josiah’s proposal with them, purposefully leaving out the marriage-of-convenience part. They’d both been thrilled that he’d offered marriage and that she would be staying if she accepted his proposal.
When she finally wrapped her mind around that Josiah was offering “a marriage of convenience only,” she found it lacking to say the least. Josiah was another man who didn’t see her as a true wife. What was wrong with her? Did men see something she didn’t? Why couldn’t someone love her?
She arrived late at the church but still beat Josiah and the girls there by mere seconds. Josiah pulled the wagon to a stop at the boardwalk. The twins spotted her and both scrambled to get out of the box in the back. Anna Mae could no more stop herself from reaching for them than she could stop breathing. They fell over the side into her arms, causing her Bible to fall to the ground. Both chattered a mile a minute, though most of their words were unintelligible.
“Girls, girls. Calm down,” Josiah chided, but his eyes were lit with laughter and he seemed as pleased to see her as the twins. He recovered her Bible and reached for Rose. She fussed but finally released her hold on Anna Mae.
“Shall we go in?” he asked.
A wave of anxiety swept through her. “Maybe you should go first and I will sit near the back.” She started to hand Ruby over, but two little hands pressed against Anna Mae’s cheeks and Ruby’s lips quivered. “Ruby go you.” The little head shook up and down positively, a question in the depths of her eyes.
Anna Mae placed her forehead against the little girl’s. To turn this baby away could possibly relay that she wasn’t loved enough, that she somehow lacked the ability to be loved. Anna Mae knew all about those feelings. No way would she ever make this child feel unloved or unimportant. “We’ll all go together.” Bolstering her courage, she shifted Ruby to her side and walked up the church steps.
Josiah rushed ahead and pulled the door open. Anna Mae was happy to see that no one else waited on the steps or in the entryway as they entered. She slipped into the back pew and made room for Josiah and Rose. The piano began playing the moment they were seated. She breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that no one would be able to speak openly to her or about her until after the service.
When it was finished, Anna Mae hurriedly gathered her things. Please, Lord, don’t let anyone speak to me. Just this once, please, can I be selfish and make it out of here without embarrassment? Please, Lord? Just this once?
It seemed as if the Lord had too many people at that moment to listen to because Mrs. Harvey, a sweet older woman, immediately turned in her seat. “Anna Mae, I am so glad to see you this morning. I’d heard you were sick. Are you feeling better now?”
Anna Mae smiled at her. “Much better, thank you.”
The woman motioned for her to sit back down. She did and then Mrs. Harvey leaned against the pew and whispered, “You won’t have any more trouble from Thelma. I told her that if she breathed one word as to why you chose to quit teaching, I’d tell some of her secrets.” The sweet woman chuckled. “Don’t expect to hear her ever speak of it again.” She patted Anna Mae’s hand.
Could it be true? Had Mrs. Harvey really stood up to the bank president’s wife? Anna Mae lifted her hands in utter disbelief before exhaling loudly. “How can I ever thank you, Mrs. Harvey?”
Ruby tugged at her. Anna Mae pulled the little girl into her lap, her mind searching frantically for words to express her relief. She came up empty. She simply didn’t know what else to say to Mrs. Harvey. Such kindness seemed to render her speechless.
“Nonsense, no one hurts one of my kids and gets away with it. Not even my best friend.” Mrs. Harvey stood slowly. “Well, I best be getting back to the house. I understand we’re having meat loaf for lunch.” She looked down and winked at Anna Mae. “It’s my favorite, you know.”
As the older woman walked away, Anna Mae felt blessed. She hadn’t realized how much she’d meant to Mrs. Harvey.
In the spring, when they’d all lost their homes to a tornado, Mrs. Harvey had become a dear friend. When William had left the girls in Emily Jane’s care while he worked, Anna Mae became close to them as she assisted with some of their daily care. Mrs. Harvey had helped them with the girls and had been there to support everyone after the tornado. The older woman called Anna Mae one of her kids. It felt good.
Thank You, Lord, for answering my prayer. It’s not exactly what I expected but You do work in mysterious ways, don’t You? She smiled secretly, knowing the Lord had heard her and answered in His own way.
“Anna Mae? Would you join us for lunch? I’ve fried a chicken and made potato salad.”
She turned to find Emily Jane and William standing beside Josiah and Rose. Still a little befuddled by Mrs. Harvey’s kindness, Anna Mae nodded.
“Ruby go you, too.”
Anna Mae grinned at the little girl in her arms. She’d missed her so much.
“You’re coming, too.” Emily Jane tickled Ruby’s tummy, sending childish squeals throughout the church.
Several women and men stopped to shake hands with them and wish Anna Mae well. She had thought they’d all turn on her. How foolish she felt now. Her true friends stood faithfully beside her.
Anna Mae looked at Josiah; a dark figure of a man, big and powerful, yet the blue eyes intent upon her brimmed with tenderness. She felt weak in the knees. She thought again of his proposal. Did he still want to marry her? Or had he changed his mind?
* * *
“I do believe that’s the best fried chicken I’ve had in a long time,” Josiah said, wiping potato salad out of Rose’s hair.
Emily Jane picked up his empty plate and carried it to the kitchen. “Thank you, Josiah. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
Anna Mae had been quiet during lunch. She’d hardly eaten anything and her brown eyes seemed glued to her plate. Was she nervous around him and the girls? Or did she fear he’d ask what she’d decided regarding his proposal?
Her sweet voice filled his ears. “Yes, I think you outdid yourself this time, Emily Jane.”
“If you think that was good, just wait until you taste her fruitcake. She’s been working on this recipe for weeks and has finally perfected it.” William rubbed his tummy and licked his lips.
Josiah shook his head. His brother-in-law had always been a ham, but since he’d married Emily Jane he seemed to have gotten worse at overacting.
“If you haven’t noticed, Anna Mae, I think my husband’s saying he’s tired of eating fruitcake.” Emily Jane carried what looked like more of a fruit loaf than a fruitcake into the dining area.
William put on his shocked face. “I didn’t say that.”
“No, you implied it. No cake for you.” Emily Jane handed each of the girls a cookie and then sliced the moist cake. She passed a piece to Josiah.
Josiah laughed. “Serves him right.” He took the dish and passed it to Anna Mae.
“It looks wonderful, Emily Jane.” Anna Mae set the dessert down and stood. “Who would like a cup of fresh coffee?”
Both Josiah and William answered, “I would.”
Her blue skirt swished about her ankles as she walked. Today her hair wasn’t up in its normal teacher-style bun but hung in long graceful curves over her shoulders. She carried herself confidently. Josiah’s admiration grew. Anna Mae had a strength and stamina at odds with the slenderness of her body.
He watched her fill everyone’s cup and return the pot to the stove. She sat back down and lifted the fork to her lips. He noticed that Emily Jane closely watched for Anna Mae’s reaction. What did his sister-in-law expect? He held his own fork midair, preparing to taste the cake, but decided to see what Anna Mae thought first.
Josiah sat mesmerized as she took a bite, chewed slowly and then sighed. Anna Mae took a sip of coffee before saying, “I believe William is right. This is the best fruitcake I’ve ever tasted. You will have to give me your recipe.” Her brown eyes met his as if she realized that he was staring.
He quickly lowered his gaze.
“I’ll give it to you, but you have to promise not to share with any of the other ladies. I’m going to start serving it in the bakery and then take orders for Thanksgiving and Christmas.” Emily Jane sat down and smiled at Anna Mae. “I’ve missed having meals with you,” she said before digging into her own slice of cake. “You were a great sampler.”
Anna Mae teased. “I miss you, too, as well as a couple of pounds.” She smoothed her hands over her waist. “I could never turn down your desserts.”
Women were so strange. Men never gushed over each other like they did. Josiah felt relieved that his brother-in-law’s wife liked Anna Mae, since he’d asked her to marry him. A question she hadn’t yet given him an answer to.
He ate his dessert in silence. Josiah didn’t really care for fruitcake, but Emily Jane’s was probably the best he’d tasted. He didn’t tell her of his dislike for fruitcake in general, not wanting to appear ungrateful.
His gaze moved to his silent daughters. They each held part of a cookie in their chubby hands, but were fast asleep, leaning into each other like kittens in a basket. He’d missed Anna Mae over the past few days. Lord, for the girls’ sake, please let her say yes to my proposal.
As if Emily Jane had heard his prayer, she said, “William, why don’t you and I take our nieces to the bedroom and lay them down for a nap? I believe Anna Mae and Josiah would like to catch up.”
“Catch up?” William looked from one to the other. “Catch up on what?”
Emily Jane laughed. “You’ll find out soon enough.” She gently lifted Rose into her arms and carried her to the bedroom.
With one last look at both of them, William carefully scooped Ruby from her chair and followed his wife. He patted the fussing little girl’s back as he left.
Josiah reached out and took Anna Mae’s hand in his. “The girls missed you, Annie.”
Her big brown eyes looked overly large in her pale face. “They did?”
He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. “Of course they did.”
“I missed you and the girls, too,” she quietly replied.
Josiah released her hand. He didn’t want her to miss him, just the girls. The last thing he needed was for her to have deeper feelings for him than friendship. He rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat. “Have you given any thought to the question I asked you?”
She nodded. “Yes, and I’ve decided to take you up on your offer. But...” Anna Mae paused. Her big brown eyes searched his intently.
What was she going to say? That she’d decided she wanted a real marriage? That she expected him to fall in love with her? He held his breath and waited. After several long moments he couldn’t stand it any longer and asked, “But what?”
“Before I say yes, I want you to know that I was engaged once before I came here. My fiancé left town the night before our wedding and broke my heart. I can’t take that type of heartbreak again, so know this... I most likely will never love you. At least not the way a wife should love her husband.” She breathed out heavily. “There. I’ve said it, so if you don’t want to marry me after hearing this, I understand.”
Josiah’s heart went out to Anna Mae for her loss. But still it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. She didn’t want a real marriage, either. This was perfect. He felt laughter bubble up in his stomach and exit his lips.
Anna Mae sat looking at him as if he’d grown horns. He was sure she wondered what had overcome him. “You’re happy I won’t ever love you?”
He forced himself to stop smiling. “Yes. I want to be friends with you, but I can never love you the way I did my first wife, Mary.”
“Oh, I see.” Anna Mae nodded. “But I’d rather no one else knows that this is a marriage of convenience.”
He turned up his smile a notch and nodded in turn. Anna Mae laughed. “Good, then we can get married whenever you’re ready.”
Was it his imagination or did her laugh sound forced? He searched her face but saw no sorrow in it. Was it possible they were making a mistake they both would regret in the near future? Should they allow a bunch of townspeople to dictate to them how they should behave? What they should do?
Chapter Seven
When Josiah had said he didn’t think he could ever love her as he did Mary, something inside Anna Mae felt crushed. She continued to smile and forced herself to laugh with him, but actually, she wanted to cry. Deep down she had hop
ed to find love someday.
“Do I hear laughter in here? Does that mean what I think it does?” Emily Jane asked, pulling William behind her.
Josiah stood up and smiled. “I’ve asked Anna Mae to marry me and she’s agreed.”
“Marry you?”
William looked as if someone had gut punched him. Anna Mae should have seen this coming; after all, Mary had been William’s sister. He sank into one of the chairs.
Josiah nodded, “Yes.”
Anna Mae watched realization of the impact this would have on his brother-in-law cross Josiah’s features. His expression turned somber. “I’m sorry, William. I didn’t consider how you would feel about it. I just assumed you’d be happy for me. For us.” He reached down and took Anna Mae’s hand, pulling her to her feet.
“I didn’t figure you’d get married so soon.” William shook his head as if to clear it. “But of course you’d want to get married. You have the girls to consider.” He stood and then walked over and slapped a hand on Josiah’s shoulder. “I’m sure Mary would understand, too.”
Anna Mae watched the two men, surprised that William chose to believe that his brother-in-law was marrying her only for the girls’ sake. Josiah’s confirming nod bore witness that sadly, it was true.
Seemingly unaware of the truth, Emily Jane ran over and hugged Anna Mae. “I can’t wait to tell Susanna. You know she’s going to want to make your dress, like she did mine. Oh, you are going to have the most beautiful wedding. I think you should make it a Christmas wedding. Think how pretty the church will look.” It was as if the woman couldn’t contain her joy. “And I will make your cake. Oh, I am so excited for you!” She clapped her hands happily.
“Emily Jane, we aren’t having a big wedding. I want a simple ceremony. And I think the sooner the better, don’t you agree, Josiah?” She prayed he’d give the correct answer.
As if they were a loving couple, Josiah lifted her hand and kissed the backs of her fingers. “Anything you want, Annie.”
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