“Well, burning bread isn’t the same as leaving turpentine open in the barn and having the chickens tip it over and spill it on the floor.” Josiah looked up, hoping for support.
William shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Did you hurt her feelings?”
He sighed. “I reckon so.”
“So let me enlighten you, brother-in-law. She probably tried to do something nice for you, which was why she had the turpentine out in the first place. Did you ask why she used it?” When Josiah shook his head, William continued. “Trust me, when you find out, you’ll feel like a dirt clod. When you yelled at her, you undermined her confidence, so now she’s afraid to tell you. You can either eat crow now or eat it later, but it’s for sure you’re gonna eat crow.” William shook his head as if in sad commiseration.
Josiah already felt the noose about his neck. “So what should I do?” He was a doomed man. He picked up a piece of straw and began shredding it.
“Well, if it were me, I’d at least apologize for hurting her feelings. Especially if she’s already said she was sorry.” William stood and put the pitchfork away. He pulled one of his mares into the clean stall.
Low-down snakes couldn’t get any lower than Josiah felt. Yes, she had apologized, even offered to clean up the mess, and he’d still left her feeling like the stupidest woman in the whole of Texas. And now he had to go in the house and face her. And by now Emily Jane knew what a sorry excuse he was. He heaved a sigh, tossed away the straw that he’d managed to destroy in a matter of seconds. “Might as well get this over with.”
William clapped him on the back. “Wise move, my man. Face the music. Just remember to give her a hug and whisper in her ear that you’re very sorry.”
“I’ve been married before, too. I think I know how to make up.” Josiah said the words, but did he really believe them? His and Anna Mae’s relationship wasn’t a true marriage. He just prayed he’d find the right words when the time came.
* * *
Inside the house, Anna Mae had just finished telling Emily Jane about the tension in her marriage. She couldn’t believe how quickly her friend had figured out there was problem between herself and Josiah. She hadn’t wanted to tell her, but seemingly Emily Jane already knew, and understood what was going on.
“Look, men sometimes react over the least things. It is our job as women to keep them grounded. It’s obvious you didn’t mean to do whatever it was that you did, so just let it go. In time, he’ll come around and say he’s sorry, too.” Emily Jane pulled the roasted chicken out of the oven.
Even as she said it, Anna Mae felt foolish, but she wanted to be truthful with her friend. “I know, but he hurt my feelings.”
Emily Jane placed the chicken on the side board. “And he will again.”
Anna Mae poured hot green beans into a big bowl. “Just pretend it didn’t happen? He practically called me stupid.”
“If you want him to apologize, then yes.” Emily Jane looked her straight in the eyes. “Do you want to continue the way it’s been lately? Or go back to being happily married to your best friend?”
How little Emily Jane truly knew. Anna Mae and Josiah were far from happily married. They didn’t even have a real marriage. As for them being best friends, well, that was a good description of their relationship from her viewpoint, but she doubted Josiah saw her that way. Still, if it would bring peace to their home once more... “I’ll try.”
Emily Jane hugged her. “That’s all you can do.” She released her. “Now, would you mind setting the table while I spread the rolls with this wonderful butter you brought? I can’t wait to sample it.”
Anna Mae nodded, then looked to the twins. They were content to peer at the picture book that she’d brought to entertain them. They pointed at pictures and communicated with each other in both English and baby talk. For the girls’ sake, she’d try to forget that Josiah had hurt her feelings and made her cry. Lord willing, they’d be back to normal in no time.
The sound of the men stomping their boots on the porch alerted the women and children that they were coming in. “The table’s ready,” Anna Mae said, just as they entered the kitchen.
“Good, let’s set this on the sideboard and eat buffet-style.” Emily Jane handed Anna Mae two plates. “Why don’t you go ahead and fix the girls’ supper while I get them seated.”
Anna Mae took the plates, very aware of Josiah walking toward her. She turned toward the food to avoid his gaze. Lord, it’s going to be hard acting as if my feelings aren’t still hurt.
“Here, let me help you with those.” He placed a hand on her shoulder.
She nodded and handed him one of the plates. Together they chose green beans, mashed potatoes with gravy, a roll and a chicken leg for each of the girls.
William and Emily Jane talked to Rose and Ruby. The twins laughed as they squirmed in their chairs, trying to see around their aunt and uncle at the plates they knew were for them.
Anna Mae placed hers in front of Rose and Josiah did the same for Ruby. “Girls, wait for the rest of us,” he instructed, joining William back at the sideboard.
Anna Mae filled the girls’ milk glasses while Emily Jane poured coffee for William and Josiah. “Tell me more about the girls’ room.”
Josiah looked at her with a question in his eyes as he took his place at the table. Emily Jane set a steaming cup in front of him. Anna Mae looked away.
She didn’t want to talk about the room she’d created for the girls. She hadn’t shown it to him. As soon as Josiah had left to clean up her mess in the barn, she had taken the girls from their room and shut the door. Since they never used that third room, he hadn’t had any reason to see it.
After the way he’d acted, Anna Mae was afraid to tell him what she’d used the turpentine for. She feared he’d think her foolish and the desk she’d created foolish, too.
Why had Emily Jane brought up the room when she knew it was a sore spot? Anna Mae wanted to kick her friend, but instead answered, “Oh, well. It’s really nothing special, not even worth mentioning.” She picked up a plate and turned her back to the table.
Emily Jane joined her. “I love the idea of them having a desk for reading and drawing. That was really smart of you to create such a space for the twins.”
Anna Mae shot her a “hush up now” look. “Thank you,” she answered, for the men’s benefit.
Both she and Emily Jane returned to the table. After sitting down, William offered a grace of thanksgiving. While he prayed, Anna Mae felt Josiah’s hand reach under the table and clasp hers.
Warmth spread up her arm and threatened to melt her reserve. When William said “amen,” Josiah gave her hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it. She looked up to find him smiling at her. It seemed as if he looked straight into her soul.
Josiah leaned over and whispered for her ears only, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I really didn’t mean to.” Then he sat back up and turned to help Rose with her chicken.
At that moment, Anna Mae knew he was forgiven. Would she regret forgiving him? She hoped not. She told herself it was time to let old hurts go. But a question plagued her. What did it mean that she could forgive him with one softly whispered sentence? What would letting it go cost her in the long run?
Chapter Nineteen
Life on the Miller farm fell into a routine over the next three weeks. Josiah went to work each morning after a hearty breakfast. While he was gone, Anna Mae cleaned, cooked and created Christmas gifts for her family.
While the girls napped she worked on Josiah’s gifts. She had managed to crochet him a scarf and was in the process of piecing the blue-and-white nine-patch quilt together for his bed. While she worked, Anna Mae imagined his surprise at the gifts.
In the evenings, while Josiah read to them all from the Bible, she worked on the little girls’ dresses. The
y were so small that she was sure they didn’t realize what she was doing, but still kept the rag dolls and clothes a secret from them, working on them only after everyone went to bed. It felt good to have a family to create Christmas gifts for.
It saddened Anna Mae that her mother and father hadn’t written back to her. She’d hoped to have their blessings on her marriage, but wasn’t really surprised. Father was busy with his business and Mother her social life. Time passed fast when you were busy, and her parents stayed busy.
A glance at the clock told her Josiah would be home soon. She went to the kitchen and stirred the stew she’d had simmering on the stove all day. Corn bread sat at the back, warming. She scooped out stew for each of the girls and set their bowls off to the side to cool. A sense of pride burst forth as she put fresh butter on the table.
She heard him stomping up the porch steps, and hurried to finish setting the table. “Rose! Ruby! Papa’s home!”
The sound of the little girls scrambling from their room caused her to smile. They loved the room she’d created for them and spent most of the day playing in it.
Josiah had praised her on the job she’d done and suggested a way to finish the room. He’d asked Levi Westland to build the girls each a small bed that they would receive Christmas morning. Rose’s would have tiny butterflies along the headboard and Ruby’s little birds. Anna Mae couldn’t wait to see them up and ready for the girls to sleep in.
“Papa! Papa!” they squealed, stumbling over themselves and each other as they attempted to race for their father.
Emily Jane had told her that the girls were small for their age. Anna Mae remembered laughing and responding, “Yes, but what they lack in size they more than make up for with their vocabulary.” They’d developed so much since that fateful snowstorm.
Living out on the farm was lonely sometimes. She missed seeing Emily Jane every day, but the little girls were plenty of company when they weren’t napping.
Anna Mae set the last spoon on the table just as squeals of laughter burst from the front door. Without looking she knew Josiah had grabbed up his girls and was kissing their faces. She smiled at him as he entered the kitchen.
“Something sure smells good in here,” Josiah said, coming over and giving her a hug.
Anna Mae pretended the hug didn’t make her feel shaky inside. “It’s rabbit stew. I hope you like it.” She hurried to help Rose up into her chair.
“I’m sure I will. I’m as hungry as a starving coyote.” He lifted Ruby into her chair and patted the girls on the head. “Were you two good today?”
The twins nodded and grinned at each other. From the mischievous expressions on their faces, Anna Mae wondered what their room looked like.
Within a few minutes, she had the stew, corn bread and their drinks on the table. As soon as she took her seat, Josiah said grace. The sounds of Rose and Ruby smacking their lips while they waited for him to finish made her smile.
“Amen.” Josiah looked at the girls. “The way you two were smacking those lips, I’m not sure the good Lord even heard my prayer.” He placed their bowls in front of them and inhaled. “From the smell of this, I really can’t blame you.”
The girls immediately began to eat. Anna Mae wondered if they were about to hit a growth spurt. Their appetites indicated they probably were. She made a mental note to add lace to the bottom of their Christmas dresses. More than likely they would need it to help cover their little knees.
She turned her attention to Josiah. “How was your day?”
He blew on his spoonful of stew. “Worrisome.” He sighed. “Caldron found another dead cow today.”
Anna Mae buttered a slab of corn bread and passed it over to him. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” She thought about Jersey out in the barn and worried that she might be in danger. Although it seemed the cows closer to town were more at risk than Jersey.
“Yeah, me, too. I had hoped since there hadn’t been any incidents in over a week that the thieves had moved on, but now I know they haven’t.” He spooned the stew into his mouth and his eyes opened wide. Once he’d chewed and swallowed Josiah smiled. “That rabbit is so tender.”
She couldn’t hide her pleased expression. “Good, that’s what I had hoped for.”
He took a large bite of the corn bread and chewed with gusto. It did her heart good to see him enjoying her cooking. She nibbled at the edge of her corn bread, savoring the sweetness. Emily Jane had told her that adding a little sugar would make the best corn bread and she’d been right.
“You really are a good cook, Annie. I’m blessed to have you for a wife. Truly blessed.”
Anna Mae looked up and found him looking down on his plate. Did he really mean that? Was he happy to have her as his wife? Her heart raced at the thought. She quickly tried to subdue it. Don’t read more into his words than what he said, she mentally warned herself.
* * *
The next day, Josiah stomped his feet before entering the general store. The snow had all melted, but mud remained and seemed to coat everything in sight. Especially his boots. The sole had worn thin on the right one and he’d soon have to buy a new pair.
But not today. Today he was Christmas shopping for Annie and the girls. The smells of cinnamon, leather and pipe tobacco warred for his attention.
“Hello, Sheriff. Are you out of coffee over at the jail already?” Wilson Moore asked. He held a broom in his hand and wore a green apron.
Josiah shook his head. “Not today. I’m looking for gifts for Annie and the girls.” He saw Carolyn come out of the side door and into the store. Josiah walked over to the counter where she stood pulling an apron over her head. “I’m glad you’re here, Carolyn. Has Annie mentioned anything to you about what she’d like for Christmas?”
Carolyn’s forehead crinkled and then cleared. “Oh, you’re talking about Anna Mae. Took me a second to make the connection. Annie, that’s cute.”
He raised an eyebrow and waited for her to answer. Josiah leaned his hip on the counter and looked at the penny candy. The girls wouldn’t mind having some of that, he felt sure.
“Well, she bought a lot of that blue fabric. She might like a blue ribbon to go in her hair that would match it.” Carolyn moved around the counter and headed to where the ribbon was located.
Josiah followed. “I’ll take some of that, but I thought something a little more...”
She picked up a spool of the ribbon and turned to face him. “Personal?”
He had the impression she fully enjoyed his discomfort. “Yes, but not anything frilly.”
Carolyn laughed. “We just got some new necklaces in. Would you like to see those?”
Josiah leaped at the idea of a necklace. “Yes, please.”
She continued to chuckle as they walked back to the counter. Carolyn moved behind it to where a glass case sat at the far end. “Here they are.” She pointed down through the glass.
His gaze swept the necklaces. What he had in mind wasn’t there. He wanted something that would suit her delicate beauty. Something good, wholesome and sweet. These were big flowers. Flowers were nice, but they just weren’t what he wanted.
“Not what you had in mind, huh?”
Josiah straightened. “No, they are a little too big.”
“Well, we also have these. No two are the same.” She pulled out a small tray of rings.
They were simple gold bands, each with a different swirl or pattern on it. Josiah’s gaze immediately fell on one that had an intricately woven vine engraved in the gold. He pointed to it. “How about that one?”
Carolyn pulled it from the tray and handed it to him. He slipped it on his little finger. “Do you think this will fit her?”
“Let me see it.” She held out her hand.
He dropped it into her palm and watched her slip it onto her ring finger.
“It’s a little snug, but I think her hand is just a bit smaller than mine, so it will probably fit.” Carolyn smiled up at him.
“I’ll take it.” Surely it will fit one of her fingers, he thought.
“Good. I’ll find a pretty box to put it in while you decide what you want for the girls.”
Josiah turned to the toy section. He’d already gotten the twins stuffed animals, so he eyed the other items. What else could he get Rose and Ruby? Anna Mae had shown him the rag dolls she worked on each night, so he wouldn’t get them a doll. They had blocks and pull toys. Each of them had a favorite blanket. He sighed.
Maybe he’d choose something more practical, like a new pair of shoes for each of them. He walked to that section of the store and found little black shoes, but then realized he had no idea what size the girls wore. Mary had always taken care of their clothes and shoes, not him.
His thoughts turned to Mary. This would be his and the girls’ first Christmas without her. She had enjoyed Christmas, but not in the same way Anna Mae seemed to.
Anna Mae went about the house humming Christmas hymns and talking about Christmas gifts. He was surprised she hadn’t asked for a Christmas tree. Josiah realized he was grinning and frowned. How had his thoughts moved from Mary to Anna Mae?
He ran a hand around his collar. It was natural, he told himself. Anna Mae was his wife now. She was with him every day. They were friends. He nodded. Yep, that was it.
They were friends, only friends. A new and unexpected warmth surged through him as it slowly dawned on Josiah that Anna Mae had become his best friend. The one he shared his day with over the supper table each evening. Who helped him get the girls ready for bed every night. He thought of things during the day he wanted to tell her; things he knew would bring a smile to her face or cause the little crease in her forehead when she puckered her face into a frown.
Wilson walked up beside him. “What’s wrong with the shoes, Sheriff?”
“Huh?”
“You’re staring at them as if perplexed. I just wondered what was wrong,” Wilson answered.
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