by Geneva Lee
Laughter filtered through my thoughts and I turned to see Roman and Aba carrying large bowls toward the outside table. They spoke quickly in Spanish, much too quickly for me to follow what they were saying. But from the joyful looks on both their faces, they felt as happy as I had a few moments ago. A lump formed in my throat and I set down my wine glass, unable to drink it.
“Can I help you with anything?” I asked again, eager to distract myself from the confusion churning inside me.
“No, no, no!” Aba flapped her arms at me, shaking her head. “You sit.”
“Aba doesn’t let guests lift a finger,” Roman added with a smile. “I’m surprised I was allowed to help her.”
“You are a man now. You should be taking care of your lady,” she informed him.
I blushed at being called his lady. The term felt old-fashioned and a little disingenuous considering we’d spent this afternoon tangled naked in bed with one another. Since our agreement, I’d been anything but a lady. Part of me was actually going to miss the total abandon I felt here—with him. Back in Olympic Falls I would be Jess Stone again—good girl, pre-med student, best friend. I yawned at the thought.
Roman’s fingers trailed softly down my bare arm, drawing my attention back to him. “Tired?”
“I had quite the workout today,” I whispered.
“I’d hoped you might be up for a private bon voyage party later,” he admitted with a grin.
I did my best to meet his smile, but failed miserably. Why did he have to bring up the fact that tonight was the end of everything we’d started here? Thankfully, before I could start crying, Aba began ladling food onto my plate. Rice and chicken. Beans and peppers. I had no idea what any of it was called in Spanish, but it all smelled delicious.
I ate until I thought I might burst, laughing until I nearly cried as Aba told me about Roman’s childhood exploits. I howled over a story involving a jellyfish.
“Laughing at my pain? You wound me!” Roman clutched his chest dramatically.
“I’m going to be a doctor, I have to be able to laugh off the pain,” I said, widening my eyes innocently.
“I question your bedside manner.” His fingers knitted through mine.
I arched an eyebrow at the unintended double meaning in his statement, and he turned away unable to keep a straight face.
“You!” Aba pointed at her grandson. The new queen could take a few lessons from her on taking charge. “Take the dishes into the kitchen and let the girls talk.”
“She’s putting you to work, huh?”
“Aba is more interested in you. I can’t say that I blame her.” He released my hand and planted a swift kiss on my lips before standing to gather our dirty plates.
“Women shouldn’t take care of a man’s every need,” Aba told me in a conspiratorial whisper, her accent thick on her tongue. “They go soft.”
As luck would have it, I’d just taken a sip of wine and choked on it, trying not laugh.
“Only in the home,” Aba continued, a sly smile creeping over her lips as she patted my . “A Spanish man does not ever go soft there.”
I opened my mouth, trying to think of something to say, but she’d literally stolen my ability to speak.
“Poor American girls. I forget sex is not to speak of in your country.”
“We talk about it,” I admitted. “Just not with people…”
“Who are old as I am?” Aba waved this off with a flutter of her hand and a laugh. “But we old people know so much about it. Most of us have done it more.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
Aba leaned forward and placed her hand over mine. Her skin was thin as paper, but the weight of it was comforting. “Roman—he is your boyfriend?”
“I…He’s…” I swallowed but the lump had reformed and was now thoroughly lodged in place. My heartbeat sped up as I considered her question as if the vital organ knew something that I didn’t. It was impossible. We’d been having fun and we both knew the relationship had to end. So why did none of that matter to my heart? “I don’t know.”
Aba’s dark eyes stared at me, reflecting the wisdom that came with her age. It was something I felt lacking in myself, especially this week when every decision I made seemed to feel so wrong and so right at the same time. “You do.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” I said quickly. “Roman and I—we can’t be together. It’s not allowed.”
“By who?” she asked with a snort. “Love is love. It’s not to be allowed. It only happens.”
Things hadn’t gotten that far. Not yet. But we were dangerously close. I felt like I was holding it at bay, because love was not in the cards for us. We’d crashed into each other as recklessly as we’d crashed into bed. It was something I couldn’t take back, which made the fact that I was leaving tomorrow all that much harder to bear. “I wish we could be together. I really do, but I’m a student and he’s a teacher.”
“He’s not your teacher,” she said. They’d obviously discussed this in my absence.
“Not anymore,” I said slowly, but shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. There are rules.”
“The heart cares not for rules.” She folded her hands in her lap and looked at me as though daring me to challenge her on this.
“No, it doesn’t,” I whispered. I knew she was right. No matter how much I tried to deny the fact I had fallen for Roman Markson.
She stood and gathered the remaining bowls from the table. “You will be together.”
With that proclamation, she disappeared in a swirl of brightly colored skirts back to the kitchen before I could respond. Before I could tell her that was impossible.
Chapter Sixteen
The beach was quiet as though the night had been reserved for us. Moonlight rippled across the water as we slipped off our shoes. My toes sank into the soft sand, which was still warm from the long-set sun. Roman’s hand closed over mine and dragged me toward the waves lapping gently along the shore. I went with him willingly. He wouldn’t take me farther than I could handle, and he could swim for both of us. But I was also too distracted to get anxious. Tomorrow’s impending goodbye weighed heavily on me, stealing the short time we had left together.
Aba’s advice echoed in my mind. Romantic relationships were important. But it was a lot easier to tell someone that than it was to make one work. They could also be a distraction. Mentally I made a list of all the things I hadn’t done this week because I’d been with Roman. Hadn’t I planned to get ahead on my reading? To start narrowing down what schools to apply to this coming fall? Besides, I had plenty of people in my life to keep me balanced. How many times had Cassie and Jillian seen me through a rough patch? Or dragged me away from the library? I didn’t need a boyfriend.
Aba wanted me to take a chance with Roman. That much was clear, but she had no clue how complicated that would be for both of us. We made sense in Mexico, so, of course, she saw us that way. But we both had lives back in Olympic Falls. Separate lives.
Roman dropped my hand, drawing my attention back to this moment. I only had one more evening with him. I shouldn’t waste it. He waded in a few feet and called out. “Trust me?”
My mouth twisted into a smile. The swimming lessons he’d promised me had been few and far between, but maybe it was the relative calm of the ocean tonight. Or maybe it was that I wasn’t the same girl who’d flown to Mexico less than a week ago.
Or maybe it was that he was here with me.
Tugging the knot tied at the side of my wrap dress, I let it fall open. I couldn’t see Roman’s eyes clearly in the dark, but I did know he was suddenly very still. I made a show of it, shrugging the dress over my shoulders and finally letting it flutter to the sand. Thanks to the unexpectedly hedonistic side of myself I’d discovered during my time here, I was braless. Hooking my thumbs in the band of my panties, I yelled back “Does this answer your question?”
“Come on in. The water is warm.” I heard the smile in his voice.
“I thought we were going for a swim.” I wiggled my panties lower but didn’t take them off.
Roman’s shirt was over his head in a flash, revealing his perfectly lickable slab of abs. He strode toward me and grabbed me around the waist. “Your turn.”
“I feel like you got more bang for your buck.” I raised my eyebrows suggestively as I pressed myself against him. My body responded immediately, my skin blazing to life as it touched his. But underneath the smoldering intensity of his embrace, a delicious ache spread through my chest. My breath hitched as a familiar rawness built in my throat. I swallowed back tears. I didn’t want my memories of tonight to include crying. Roman’s finger tipped my chin up so that our eyes met. We didn’t say anything. We didn’t have to. The same pained joy was there.
Maybe we didn’t speak because we both felt the moments between us slipping away. We’d said a week, but that was before—before the irresistible connection I felt to him had shifted, evolving into something I wasn’t prepared for.
Something I’d never felt before.
All the reasons I didn’t need him—couldn’t need him—vanished. At that moment he was the very air in my lungs. He was the beat of my heart. With his finger still pressed to my chin, Roman leaned down, slanting his lips to meet mine in a gentle kiss. The breeze brushed past us and the tide washed over our feet and Roman Markson was kissing me for the first time.
It wasn’t my first kiss. It wasn’t our first kiss.
But it was the first kiss that ever mattered.
I’d gone a thousand miles away from my life to finally discover home in the arms of someone I couldn’t have.
But this—what was happening between us—was so much more. This wasn’t a fling. Roman wouldn’t become a wistful story I told about that one time I went wild in Mexico. I was going to see him on campus, and this wasn’t like other guys I’d slept with. I couldn’t imagine averting my eyes out of embarrassment or sharing a casual greeting. The thought of leaving him behind—leaving us behind—seemed impossible.
Roman broke away and searched my face. “I don’t want you to go.”
I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t find the words. I didn’t have a choice, and we both knew it. I took a deep breath and shook my head. “Let’s not talk about it now.”
Part of me wanted to discuss it. I couldn’t help wishing that we could find a way. We could stay here forever, abandon our lives in Washington, make love on the beach, grow old together. A smile crept onto my lips at the idea, but it was as fleeting as the fantasy.
“Jessica, no one has ever fit into my life like you. I’ve spent this week feeling as if I’d found the piece of myself that I never knew was missing. I know what we said, and I know that there are a million reasons to end things tomorrow”— Roman began.
I pressed a finger to his lips. “Don’t.”
The only thing that would be harder than running into him on campus would be wondering if I made the right choice. If we stuck to our plan, there was no choice. We’d agreed to spend a week together. I’d never regret this week. I never wanted to regret Roman. If he said more—if he said something he could never take it back and I could never un-hear it and saying goodbye would be all that much harder.
He pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear and kissed me softly. This wasn’t how I wanted to leave things between us. I didn’t want our final memories to be full of sadness. Roman made me feel alive and I craved the rush of electricity I found when our skin touched. I already missed the laughter we wouldn’t share. I didn’t want to miss him tonight. Tomorrow I would go back to being Jess Stone, responsible pre-med student. Tonight I wanted to be reckless and passionate, rebellious and carefree.
Everything I had to leave behind at the security gate tomorrow.
Tonight belonged to Roman, and I needed to remind him of that. Sliding my underwear off, I kicked them off triumphantly and waded backward a few feet until I was up to my knees. I beckoned him with my finger, knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist me. He glanced away for a split second, but when he finally looked back to me a smile curved slowly across his lips.
“Aren’t you getting daring,” he said. He dropped his shorts, and we stared at each other. Here we were—both naked, both vulnerable—and I’d never felt more comfortable. My gaze traveled down his muscular body and I whistled appreciatively.
“You shouldn’t be hiding that behind sweater vests,” I informed him.
He caught his dick in his hand and winked. “This?”
“Definitely not that,” I said.
“I’m going to have to get a professorship at Berkley if you want me to teach in the buff,” he said dryly.
“Wait until the administration sees the enrollment for your class.” I licked my lips as he walked slowly toward me. “They’ll want all the instructors to adopt your dress code.”
“That might be unfortunate,” Roman pointed out, grabbing hold of my waist and swinging me in a large circle before gathering me close to him. I giggled as the light-headed ecstasy of simply being with him washed over me. I didn’t even protest when he pushed us out further into the water.
“I’ve got you,” he promised in a low voice and a thrill ran through me.
Gentle waves lapped against our bare skin, and moonlight reflected in his eyes. The urge to kiss him was overwhelming, but so was the urge to touch him—and here we were stuck in the middle of the ocean.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“That our heads are still above water,” I whispered and then my mouth was on his. He responded with the same hungry desperation, deepening the kiss and sucking my tongue into his mouth with enough force to make me dizzy. Roman’s hand slid under my ass, the other stayed around my waist, holding me steady. He lifted me out of the water and I circled my legs around his hips, feeling has hardness pressing into my stomach. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I pushed up until I was hovering over him.
“Should we?” He let the question hang in the air.
Jess Stone would have a definite opinion on going bareback in the middle of the freaking Pacific Ocean, but she was on vacation. And I was all out of restraint.
“As many times as possible,” I confirmed.
Roman didn’t argue with me. My teeth sank into my bottom lip and he slipped inside me. It took some adjustment considering we were in salt water, but a few moments later, I found myself rolling my hips into his. Our mouths collided in a frenzy until Roman dropped his attention to my jawline. His tongue trailed across my chin and down the delicate skin of my throat. When he reached my collarbone, he planted kisses up to my shoulder and sunk his teeth playfully into the curve of my neck. I gasped and my body arched against his as he teased and tortured me.
He pulled away and shook his head. “I need to see you. All of you.”
I didn’t protest as he carried me out of the water. Although I was seriously impressed that he did so without breaking contact. He only did so when he laid me on the beach. The tide rushed around us, but the water was warm and the sand was wet. Roman knelt beside me, running his hand along my thigh. “Mi bella, you are so perfect.” His index finger traced along the curve of my hip, up my navel, and came to rest between my breasts. “I’m pretty sure that I’m living every adolescent fantasy I ever had as a teenager.”
I spread my legs wider and blew him a kiss. “Make Past-Roman proud.”
He grinned as he dropped his mouth to my belly button. His tongue started along the path his finger had recently drawn, but in reverse. And in that moment, I was certain there was a god and heaven, because as he pressed his lips between my legs, stroking tenderly but powerfully across me with his tongue, I’d gone there. There was nothing to grab hold of on the beach, so my hands found his hair. I caught it in my fingers and held on as he continued his oral onslaught. My hips bucked against his mouth as he plunged inside me. I hoped someday he wrote a poem about this, because it was worthy of immortality.
My muscles tightened, pleasure p
ooling in my core, and then it burst into a million pieces that rolled through me. Tugging him up by his hair, I wove my body around his. Roman cradled me as the final tremors quivered through me. Our eyes met and without a word, he guided himself against me, pushing inside with one quick thrust. It was almost too much, too soon. But I didn’t stop him. Despite the toe-curling orgasm he’d just given me, I needed more. More contact. More connection.
Roman rocked into me. He took his time, encouraging my body with slow, deep strokes until I felt myself swelling in anticipation once more. My eyes clenched shut and I bit into my lip.
“Jessica.” His tone coaxed me to look up at him. “There’s something I need to say. Something I’ll regret.”
But I already knew. Hooking my arm about his neck, I pulled him swiftly to my lips, stopping him before he could say it. Our bodies pressed together, working in rhythm. Skin against skin. Mouth on mouth. Heart to heart. His arms tightened around me as the first ripples trembled through my body, and then there was only Roman. His taste on my mouth, his skin on my own–we were one, body and soul in a memory that could fill a lifetime.
And I hoped it would.
Chapter Seventeen
Next to a villa, my apartment was a shoebox. Cassie was occupying our couch until the dorms opened up, and she insisted on having a best friends’ Christmas even though a week had passed since the blessed event. Everything was in its proper place. Even Jillian would be home soon after her week with her parents and Liam in California. But even though life was full here, my heart hurt. If Roman had been right—if I’d been the missing piece in his life—now he was the missing piece in mine, and I had no hope of filling the void of his absence. That didn’t mean I wasn’t trying, but books, television, even friends weren’t quite the same thing.
I was so hard-up for distraction that I was actually doing laundry when Jillian flew into my bedroom. I could almost picture her bags still in the doorway to the apartment.