by Odette Stone
The strange idea that Jackson could possibly be jealous of Burger kid filled me with more hope than I had felt in months. There was an equally good chance that this was just the navy SEAL part of him that didn’t like to lose, but I was clinging to the idea that maybe there was a very small part of him that actually cared.
***
By the time we left the bar, I was dead on my feet. It was a good four hours past my usual bedtime and all I wanted to do was lie down and shut my eyes. We were silent in the cab, and I felt myself nodding off. I felt Jackson lift me across the backseat and then I was snuggling up against him.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. Loving how warm he was, how good he smelled.
It seemed like only a moment had passed and then Jackson was talking to me. “Come on. We’re home.”
I was so tired I felt drunk. It was all I could do to brush my teeth and collapse in bed.
***
I woke up to light streaming into the bedroom and the sound of Jackson talking to Chloe. I smiled into my pillow.
“What do you think, do you think this goes here?”
No response from Chloe.
“Well, look at this. It actually fits. Can you pass me the screwdriver? No? You’re just going to lie there and look cute?”
Silence from Chloe.
I moved to the doorway of Alien’s room. Jackson was sitting on the floor, head bent over a partially built piece of furniture. Chloe was lying on her side, and wagged her tail when she saw me. Jackson had already assembled the crib and the matching dresser.
He glanced up at me, but didn’t speak. God this man confused me.
“Wow, you assembled Alien’s bed,” I stepped over Chloe and walked over to the beautiful mahogany crib, running my hand over the smooth wood. He had placed the mattress in the crib. I stood looking down at the bed, my heart pounding in my throat. One day Alien would leave the safety of my body and would be out in the world. Tiny and helpless. And I would be responsible for this baby’s care. The thought was almost paralysing.
He stood up behind me and slid the dropside rail down. “Here’s the clasp to move the rail up and down.”
As we stood there, it dawned on me that we were in this together. We were having a baby. I didn’t know whether to start crying or to star laughing. How had we got here?
“You ordered the crib,” he said. “From New York?”
I ran my hand over the tiny mattress. “Yes.”
“Okay, make sure you give me the receipt, so I can pay you back.”
My entire body froze. I looked over at him. He was moving back to his project on the floor, the change table. I had ordered the bedroom set from an exclusive baby store called Giggle, in New York.
“For the furniture?”
“Yes.”
“I can pay for it.” Jesus. It wasn’t like I didn’t have the money.
“I provide for you.”
“Yeah, but I can help.”
“I’m your husband. I’m working. I take care of you and our bills.”
I looked over my shoulder at him. He was looking up at me, his expression was clear.
“Why should you have to pay for everything?”
“It’s my job.”
My heart started beating at his rather old-fashioned view. “You’re serious?”
“Completely.”
It was preposterous that he wanted to pay for everything. The amount of interest I accrued from my investments in one month was probably more than Jackson made in an entire year.
“Can we talk about this later?”
“We can, but the outcome isn’t going to change.”
“We’re married now. My money is your money.”
“I don’t want your fucking money, Emily. I’ll never touch your money.”
I felt a weird lump in my throat. I almost couldn’t speak. It was the stupidest argument in the world, considering how much money I actually had, but it still made me want to cry. Almost every friendship, and every relationship that I had was been built on the fact that I had so much. The fact that he didn’t want any of it, made me want to cry. No one had ever said that to me before. It also made me want to share all of it with him. For the first time, I was in a relationship without my money. It felt so glorious and free and it made me love him that much more. I looked down at him, unable to speak. He lifted his eyes up at me.
I swallowed. “Well, I didn’t know that. When I bought this furniture.”
His eyes narrowed. Thinking. “How much exactly did you spend?”
I took a deep breath. “Well, I think maybe we can implement your new policy starting today or you can start unscrewing this furniture and put it back in the box.”
His eyebrows went up. “You spent that much?”
I winced. “I didn’t really think about it.”
I hadn’t. I had never been on a budget in my entire life. I wasn’t a spendthrift but I had always had more than enough for whatever I bought. It never dawned on me to limit myself. If I liked something, I bought it. And I had really liked this crib set.
He looked around the room. “Shit.”
The guy was actually contemplating sending it all back.
“Please. I really like this furniture and by the time you send this back and the new stuff comes, you might be gone. And who will put it together?”
He gave me a derisive look. “You’re not going to tell me how much you spent, are you?”
“You might begrudge Alien if I do.” I said in a small voice.
He shook his head, a smile on his face. “Fine. But going forward, I pay for shit.”
I stood there looking down at him. He didn’t love me. He loved another woman. But he was committed to us. Alien and myself. Enough to share his earnings. Enough to create a home with us. Enough to spend his time walking Chloe and building baby furniture. His commitment was unwavering.
I walked over to him, leaned down in front of him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Thank you.”
A big arm came around me and then he was hauling me onto his lap. Two hands pushed my hair back as green eyes studied my face.
“What?” I asked, staring up into his face.
“Let’s have a fun day today.”
Chapter 38
We were in the truck literally flying down the highway, Jackson’s music blasting.
“Are you going to tell me where we are going?” I looked over at Jackson. He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses.
“Nope.”
“Not even a hint?”
He glanced over at me, a smile on his face. “Not even a hint.”
“Am I going to like it?”
He looked thoughtful. “You’ll love it.”
I smiled, just so happy that we were spending the day together. My happiness faded when he pulled into a large parking lot of an airstrip and I read the sign on the building, “Jump School.”
“What is this place?” I said, my heart in my throat.
“We’re going parachuting.” He parked the truck and killed the engine.
Fear seized my throat so hard, I almost couldn’t speak. “No.”
“Come on,” he said, opening his door. “It’s going to be fun.”
I got out of the truck and caught up to him. “I can’t do this.”
He took my hand. “Sure you can.”
I shook my head. “No, I really can’t.”
There was a long list of things that terrified me, but heights was probably one of my top fears. I could barely stand on a chair without my knees knocking together. Don’t even get me started on ladders.
We walked into the building.
“Wait here.”
I watched with nauseating anxiety as he handed some papers to one of the men. The guy nodded and then Jackson was walking back towards me.
“Jackson,” I said, my voice pleading. “I really can’t do this.”
“Relax,” he said with an easy smile. “You’re going to be strapped to me.”
I sto
od there for a long moment and debated refusing. I looked up at Jackson. He looked so happy, so carefree. How would it feel to refuse, to have to wipe that smile off his face, to walk back like a coward to the truck. Things between us were already so tentative. He had planned this. This was his idea of a fun day. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Maybe I could just shut my eyes and somehow get through this.
He stepped forward and cupped my face in his hands. “Do you trust me?”
I nodded, unable to speak, my throat was so dry.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I just trust you that we’ll be okay.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized that was true. I trusted this man with my life. I may absolutely hate every single moment of this experience, but I knew that throughout it, he would keep me safe.
His smile was huge. “You sure you want to do this? We’re going to get in a plane and then we are going to jump out.”
I thought for a moment I might pass out. “Okay.”
“We can leave if you want.”
“No, let’s do this.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Emily. I won’t be mad. If you want to walk, we walk. We can go find something else to do.”
“We’re doing this.”
He looked momentarily conflicted and the he grinned. “Okay. Let’s gear up.”
I followed him to another room, where he fitted me with a strange harness that went around both my legs and over my shoulders. He also gave me some goggles. I watched as he looked over his gear and then strapped it on. The man he had been talking to, came into the room and did a double check of all our harnesses and straps.
And then Jackson took my hand and led me out to a tiny airstrip. I wanted to pee my pants as I watched the tiny plane taxi towards us.
Jackson looked over at me. “Last chance to back out.”
It was tempting but I didn’t want to disappoint him. I shook my head. Jackson held my hand as I climbed up the little ladder into the plane.
Then we were taking off. The plane was noisy. Jackson and the guy were joking and laughing together, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying over the roar of the engine. For a moment I thought I was going to puke, but somehow I managed not to. The earth below us was patches of green and the horizon looked huge. Dear God we were high up. Now we were above the freaking clouds. Every time I thought about the fact that we had to jump out of this moving plane, I thought I was going to hyperventilate.
And then Jackson moved behind me. His legs were on either side of me. My eyes were squeezed shut as I felt him tug on my straps. I could tell that he was strapping himself to me. Now when he moved back, I was tugged back. The guy moved beside us and double checked all our straps again.
The guy looked at me and yelled over the wind tunnel, “Keep your arms crossed over your chest.”
I nodded in fear and then he put my goggles up on my face. Jackson tightened the strap around my head. And then, to my complete horror, the guy opened the door of the plane.
Wind gusted in, catching my breath. It didn’t matter. In a moment I probably would be dead from a heart attack.
I felt Jackson wrap his huge arms around me. His face nuzzled my neck. “You ready?”
I shook my head no. I heard him laugh. And then he was lifting me up. We were on our bums, scooting precariously near to the door. Oh my God. We were about to leap out of a plane. My legs were hanging out the door, Jackson was holding onto the bar above our head. His legs were hanging out over the plane on either side of mine. I felt him tilt my head back so it was resting against his shoulder. And then he reached across me and made sure my arms were crossed over my chest.
“Ready?” I heard him yell.
“No,” I screamed. “We’re going to die.”
And then he was tilting forward and we were falling.
Oh my God. We tumbled head over heels. It felt like a rollercoaster dive that didn’t end. And then we stabilized. I was on my stomach and Jackson was on my back. I felt him take my hands and part them, so I was spread eagle. Like a frog. The wind was flapping my face. The world looked so beautiful below. Despite the fact that we were plunging towards death, it was also surreal and calm at the same time. It seemed like time slowed down for us. And in that moment, my trust of Jackson was absolute.
Suddenly I heard flapping and then we were flipped to an upright position. I looked above my head as the huge parachute opened above our heads. We instantly slowed down.
“Oh my God,” I yelled. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
I could hear Jackson laughing behind me.
“Hang on,” he said, “This is where it gets fun.”
He pulled the straps above our head and suddenly we were swooping in massive big glides from side to side. I hung there in amazement as the world below us got bigger and bigger.
“Legs forward,” he said. I shot my legs forward and then he landed at a run, and suddenly I was being gently lowered to the ground, landing backwards on Jackson.
His arms wrapped around me. I lay there in a daze, the only thing I could do was laugh.
“You did it.”
“I loved it. I just jumped out of a plane,” I was giggling uncontrollably. Adrenaline pumping through my body like a drug.
“Yes you did.”
He stood me up on shaking legs. I couldn’t do anything but stand there and tremble while Jackson worked to unhook us. He turned me to face him.
“I’m so proud of you.”
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “That was so unreal.”
He worked to take off my harness, but a smile played on his lips. Then he gathered up the chute and together we walked back to the hanger.
“How was it?” the guy who took our gear from us asked.
“Thank you so much. I loved it.”
Jackson and him shook hands.
“Nice seeing you man.”
***
We walked back towards the truck. He opened the passenger door for me and gave me a hard kiss. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
He brushed some hair off my face. “For trusting me.”
“I thought we were going to die.”
“I know you did. But you still did it anyways.”
He lifted me up on the seat. I felt inordinately proud of myself.
***
Later at the fish and chip stand, I looked at Jackson. “I can’t believe I did that.”
He started to laugh. “Neither can I.”
“What do you mean?”
He looked at me for a long moment and then said. “I wasn’t really going to take you jumping.”
“What?”
“I was just teasing you. I had to drop off some papers.”
I stared at him dumbfounded. “So that wasn’t our fun day?”
He shook his head. “No. I was just messing with you. But then you were so damn trusting, I thought what the hell.”
“Jackson!” I was laughing.
“I honestly can’t believe you did that.”
I shook my head, a huge smile on my face. “You are in so much trouble.”
“But you did it.”
“Yeah. I guess I did.”
We sat there eating for a moment.
I said, “It blows my mind that they just let people walk off the street and jump out of their planes.”
He shrugged. “You were a special deal. You got to miss the 8 hours of classes.”
My mouth hung open. “What?”
“Normally, jumpers have to go to jump school.”
“But why would they do that?”
“They know me.”
“I took Alien skydiving before he was even born.”
He look amused.
I stared at him across the table. “Do you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie?”
“No, not really.”
“Do you ever get scared?”
He took a sip of his beer. “Of what?”
>
I shrugged. “On the job. Does anything ever scare you?”
“We control our emotions.”
I tried again. “Maybe you control your fear, but do you ever feel it?”
His smile was easy. “What scares you?”
“Everything.”
“Everything?”
I rested my chin on my hands. “Meeting new people, job interviews, going on dates.”
“Going on dates?”
I lifted my chin. “Yes. I used to date before I met Matt.”
This caught his attention. “Tell me.”
I paused. “I was a disaster dater.”
“I doubt that very much. Tell me your worst date.”
“You tell me yours.”
“You first.”
I thought for a moment. “This guy came into our gallery a lot. He seemed charming and like a gentleman, so I was more than pleased when he asked me out. He took me to an art show and was holding my hand and he even gave me this beautiful kiss. Then we went for dinner. Suddenly he looks up and his face falls.”
“Uh-oh.”
“It was his girlfriend. She had just walked in with some friends. She was clueless when she came over. She kissed him and he told her that I was a client. Then he invited her and her friends to join us.”
“No way. Did you bust him?”
I shook my head. “I was so mortified, for both her and myself, I couldn’t. After five minutes, I excused myself to go to the washroom and instead walked out of the restaurant.”
Sympathetic eyes looked at me. “What a dick.”
“That scared me off men for awhile. What about you?”
He squinted. “Worst first date?”
“Yeah.”
He grinned. “It’s bad.”
“Do tell.”
“I met her at a bar and she was hot. So I phoned her and asked her out. Usually I pick my dates up at their place but she insisted at meeting me at a bar. Well, when I walked into the bar she was already loaded. Then she picked a fight with the biggest guy in the bar by throwing a drink on him and when he was understandably pissed, she told him that her boyfriend would hurt him. It took me a few moments to realize she was talking about me. I didn’t want to fight him, so I ended up spending way too much money settling his tab. The date was over before it started. I was driving her home and she puked into her purse. When we pulled up at her house, daddy was waiting for her on the porch.”