by Odette Stone
She stood behind me, her arms leaning back against the metal bars. I ignored her.
She leaned down. “So, how are things?”
“Things are awesome.”
“You’re pretty feisty for a soon to be ex-wife.”
I looked over my shoulder. “Do you really think you can get him back?”
She smiled down at me. “I know I can.”
I shook my head. “That’s not what he told me.”
She leaned forward and spoke in my ear. “I’m fucking your husband. I’m pretty sure he’s mine.”
I had enough. I stood up, picking up my water bottle and my purse.
She grabbed my arm. I turned and tried to yank my arm out of her grasp. “What are you doing?”
She shook her head. “You think you won because your pregnant and wearing that ring? Think again.”
“Let go of me.”
People around us were looking back at us.
“He told me that he can barely stomach having sex with you. Why do you think he keeps coming back to me.”
At that moment, everything became crystal clear. This woman wasn’t sleeping with Jackson. She wasn’t a threat to me.
My eyes widened. “Actually, the sex is mind-blowing. Like out of this world. He loves my pregnant body. He can’t get enough. How do you think we got here in the first place.”
Her fingers were digging into my arm. “You’re a fucking liar.”
I looked up at her face. I knew I had hit a nerve. “Ask him. He tells me that what we have is different than what he had with anyone else.”
I thought her fingers were going to crush my arm. I tried to shake her off. She kind of shoved me at the same moment I yanked back. And then I was falling backwards. My arms flailed. Her face looked shocked and I saw her reach forward and try to grab me, but she missed and then suddenly, I hit the hard ground with a resounding thud. I was flat on my back staring at the sky. Completely winded, I could not get oxygen into my lungs.
I heard her scream, “Jackson!”
It felt like my rib cage was refusing to respond. I sounded like a groaning boar but no matter how hard I tried, I could not get any air into my lungs.
Jackson’s face loomed over me. “Emily, you’re winded.”
My panicked eyes focused on his face.
His hand was on my forehead. “You’re okay. Just relax. Just relax your rib cage.”
It took forever, but suddenly my rib cage moved and I sucked in air. Beautiful oxygen filling my lungs. I lay there, stunned, taking in big gulps of air.
“There is an ambulance on the way,” someone said.
Jackson’s face was above me. “Don’t move.”
“I’m fine,” I wheezed. “I just got the wind knocked out of me.”
His eyes were wide. “You could have broken your neck or your back. I don’t want you to move a muscle.”
“I’m fine.”
“Don’t move.”
I could hear the approaching wail of the ambulance.
***
A spine board is probably one of the most uncomfortable things in the world. Especially when you are pregnant. I was rushed to emergency and assessed by a doctor.
My spine was fine. There were no broken bones. No fractures. I was completely okay.
Jackson stood beside my hospital bed in the emergency room. He was still wearing his baseball outfit. We were waiting for a technician who was going to do an ultrasound on Alien.
Alien was doing flip flops in my belly. I knew everything was fine, but no one was listening to me.
“What happened,” Jackson face was remote.
I shook my head. “Harper came up and was talking to me.”
“What was she talking about?”
“The same old stuff. How you were going to leave me for her. How you were sleeping with her.”
His eyebrows went up high. “She said that to you?”
“This isn’t the first time.”
He looked shocked. “Emily.”
I shrugged. “She grabbed my arm and I yanked it back. And we were going back and forth. And then I was falling backwards. And the rest is history.”
A big hand covered his mouth. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That she was harassing you.”
I stared at him in disbelief. What had I been doing all along? It had just fallen on deaf ears.
The technician whipped back the curtain. “Someone here needs an ultrasound?”
We watched as she wheeled the monitor beside the bed. My shirt came up, and then she was applying a liberal amount of gel onto my belly.
“You had a fall?” she asked.
“Yes, but I’m fine.”
“What are you looking for?” Jackson asked, from the other side of the bed.
“Just making sure that baby and the placenta are doing okay. Did you fall forward or on your side?”
“Flat on my back.”
“Okay, let’s see what we have here.”
She pressed the wand onto my stomach. I looked up at Jackson. His eyes were glued to the monitor. His big hand held mine.
“There’s your baby,” she said, pointing at the screen. “See, there is the head. And there is an arm.”
Alien was starting to look like a real baby. With a very baby-like face. A cute button nose. A mouth. Jackson’s hand was tight around mine. I looked up at his face. His expression was one of complete awe and wonder. His eyes were glued to the screen.
“Jesus,” he breathed.
I laughed. “There’s our baby.”
Our eyes met. He was completely stunned.
The technician seemed oblivious to the fact that my husband was completely transformed by the sight of our child. “Everything looks good. Placenta looks good. Baby looks great. Everything looks healthy. I think you two got lucky.”
“Thank you.”
She handed me some tissues to wipe off my stomach. And then she was writing in my chart and wheeling her machine away.
I pulled my shirt down and looked up at Jackson. He was staring at me, like he was seeing me for the first time.
“We’re having a baby,” he said.
I started to laugh. “Yes. We are.”
He looked at my stomach. “I knew that but…Alien is a baby. Inside of you.”
I laughed again. “I know.”
He sat down on a chair beside me and took my hand in both of his. His eyes stared into mine. “I knew you were pregnant.”
“But shit just got real?”
He nodded slowly and then a huge smile broke out over his face. “I feel like an idiot.”
I shook my head. “That was exactly my reaction the first time during my first ultrasound.”
“Complete disbelief?”
I smiled back at him. “Stunned shock.”
“Jesus. Why didn’t I get this until now? I mean, I understood we were having a kid, but Emily, we’re having a baby.”
Tears leaked out of my eyes. “Yeah. We are.”
He kissed my hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from Harper.”
I shook my head. “Jackson.”
“No,” he said emphatically, giving me a clear look. “You will never be bothered by her again. You have my word on that.”
“Sorry I ruined your baseball game.”
He shook his head. “I got lucky. I’m so lucky you are okay.”
“Can you take me home?”
His smile was beautiful. “I can do that.”
Chapter 44
Jackson was treating me like spun glass. I insisted that I was fine, but he was catering to my every move. I couldn’t even sneeze and he was all over me.
“This is ridiculous,” I said, as he plumped pillows around me on the couch.
“You need to be taken care of.”
“Jackson,” I protested. “A couple weeks ago, you took me up in a plane and we jumped out of it. We went sky diving.”
He turned around
, a look of guilt on his face. “That was the stupidest thing I have ever done.”
“No, my point is that it was fun and I was fine. I’m pregnant, not an invalid.”
“You had a fall.”
“I don’t even feel like I fell. I’m not even stiff or anything.”
But when it came time for bed, he picked me up and carried me up the stairs. Secretly, I was kind of digging the attention, but seriously. He was going way over board.
We got ready for bed and then we were lying in bed, side by side. I longed for us to connect. To become man and wife once again. So much had passed between us. It was the final distance between us.
I rolled over on my side to look at his face. “What are you thinking of?”
Green eyes traced over my face. “Just remembering when we went bed shopping.”
“Really?”
“I was lying beside you in that store and I was thinking how tiny you were. It made me wonder what it would be like to spoon someone so little.”
My eyebrows shot up. “You were thinking of cuddling me when we were bed shopping?”
His smile was big. “Actually I was thinking of way more x-rated things.”
My mouth dropped open. “No way.”
“Way.”
“Wow.” I lay there stunned.
“I don’t think I have ever seen anyone blush as much as you did that first morning.”
“I felt so awkward.”
He dropped a kiss on my mouth. “How come?”
“You were all big and intense and intimidating. I had never met anyone like you before.”
He took a deep breath. “I was seriously messed up when I arrived in New York. I didn’t want to be there and I certainly didn’t want to be in therapy, but there you were…distracting me.”
I chewed on my lip. “What was therapy like?”
“Bullshit.”
“What was it like?”
“They wanted me to talk about my feelings.”
“And did you?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Emotions are messy.”
I stared up at this man. Thinking about how he had completely destroyed our living room. Yes emotions were messy. My husband was trying with me. He was trying to show me who he was. He was trying to help me understand.
“I feel everything.”
His smile was wondrous. “I know you do. And you show the whole world how you are feeling.”
“I don’t want to.”
“It’s a brave way to live.”
“I don’t know how else to live.”
“Don’t change. That is one of my favourite things about you.”
“Except when I cry.”
“I don’t mind your tears.” He placed a kiss on my neck. “Your tears are honest.”
My fingers tangled in his hair. I pulled his face down to mine, kissing him.
He tried to pull back. “Emily.”
I stared up at him. Old insecurities flooded my body. “What’s wrong?”
He looked down at me. “I just…don’t want to hurt you.”
“Because I’m pregnant?”
“Everything changed this afternoon.”
“When you saw the ultrasound.”
My hand trailed slowly down his hard abs. His big hand captured mine. I looked up him. “Jackson.”
“What if I hurt you?”
I shook my head and wrestled my hand free of his so I could continue my ministrations. “Not possible.”
He groaned as my hand shyly tightened around his solid member.
“I want to do it the SEAL way,” I whispered.
“Absolutely not,” he ground out. “If we do it at all, tonight I’m going to take my time.”
He rolled over so that he was above me. His kiss was so wondrous. Intoxicating. Soothing. A brush of lips. Teeth nibbled. I swooned.
He was patient. Overwhelming me with his tenderness and torturous exploration of my body. I felt delicate and pure, longing for more, yet swimming in his perfect and soft touch. It was sublime. I lay there trembling, gasping as a yearning slowly built in my body.
He both soothed and staggered me with his gentleness. Goosebumps covered my body as he feasted on my sensitive nipples. Lips trailed slowly down my arms, over my stomach. Soft fingers that tickled and stroked up my thighs. Every taste, every caress was a graze, flaming my desire. I felt worshiped as he skimmed and teased me with the softest manipulations. I was trembling from need. My hands were clenching the bedspread and yet he never relented. Never let me touch him. His focus was solely on making me feel like the revered lover. His skills were inflaming me with a need that was making me almost delirious.
I tossed my head back and forth. “Jackson, please.”
He moved up, over me, and then he was flipping me so I was lying on top of him. We looked at each other. In his face, I saw tenderness, care and something that looked a lot like love. I thought my heart would burst with hope.
I gasped as he slid slowly, inch by inch into me.
His big hands pushed my hair off my face. “Emily.”
“I love you,” I breathed.
He groaned and then we were moving. Slowly, languorously, like we had all the time in the world. I surrendered completely to the moment, loving the intimacy, loving that this big man was part of me. He moved so slow, it felt like sweet torture. I was stunned with the emotions, the sensations that were crashing over me. My entire body was throbbing. Every cell in my body was focused on this moment.
We stared at each other. Holding our gaze. So much passed between us. Things were different now. I could feel it. Something was happening. I was so happy, I thought my heart would burst.
All too soon, that spark became a raging flame that consumed me, over took me. I was arching, head thrown back, moving to find my release. His fingers were weaved in mine. My orgasm was building, climbing, roaring towards me like a freight train and then there it was. It slammed into me and I bucked back, crying out, as waves of addictive ecstasy blinded me.
He sat up, wrapping his arms around me, as I clenched over him. His hands were tangled in my hair as his mouth found mine. “You’re so beautiful. Emily. God.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and then he was crushing me to him, his head buried into his neck as he found his own sweet release.
“Jesus, Emily,” he pulled back to look up at me. I saw in him vulnerability. Need. Emotion.
My eyes filled with tears.
***
We lay there in the best post-coital bliss. I was on my stomach while Jackson slowly traced his finger tips down my spine.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better than perfect.”
His lips kissed my shoulder blade. “Have you given any thought to names for Alien?”
I lifted my head. “Is this where you only think of boy names?”
“We could call him Allen and then secretly call him Alien behind his back. And he would never know.”
I giggled. “If he ever found out, he would never forgive us.”
“What is your dad’s name?”
I shook my head. “You really don’t want to go there.”
“What is it?”
“Elmer.”
He laughed. “Elmer Hunter. Yeah. We are just setting him up for a lifetime of harassment with that one.”
“What if Alien is a girl?”
“I thought we decided that a girl would be a bad idea. I don’t have a shotgun big enough for all the boys that will show up on our doorstep.”
“She will be tough like you. She’ll be able to handle herself.”
“What was your mom’s name?”
“Beverly.”
“Hmmmm.”
“What about Melody? We could name her after your mom.”
Jackson’s fingers stopped moving. I raised my head and looked at him. “What?”
He had this look on his face. “How did you know my mom’s name was Melody?”
He sat up, his voice was cold. “No. I’m pretty sure I have never mentioned that name to you.”
Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.
“Jackson,” I sat up and looked over at him.
His eyes were wide. He was staring at me. A hurt and confused look on his face.
“What the fuck did you do, Emily?”
I swallowed and shook my head. “It was a mistake.”
“Tell me what you did.” The anger in his voice was clear.
Tears threaten to clog my throat. “I didn’t mean to.”
“Tell me.”
“I read your journal. The one that Harry wrote. The one that was hidden in the sweater box.”
Chapter 45
Jackson got off the bed and pulled on a pair of sweats. Feeling suddenly vulnerable in my nakedness, I clambered to put on my robe. We both stood there, in the middle of our bedroom.
I licked my lips, my heart was pounding a million miles a minute. “I can explain.”
He looked so pissed, so hurt, I wanted to burst into tears. “No.”
“Jackson, please,” I begged. “I was unpacking. And it was there. I didn’t even know what it was until I started reading it and then…without even realizing it, I was halfway through it.”
He was breathing hard. “So what, you read half of that journal?”
I shook my head sadly. “I went and found it afterwards and I finished reading the entire thing.”
His eyes were wide. He strode away from me and then spun around. “So, knowing that it was private by the very fact that I had hidden it in the attic, you knew that I didn’t want you to read that.”
“I know.”
“It’s not like I left it on the coffee table, Emily. I fucking hid that behind a rafter in our attic. I put it in the one place that you would never find it. How long did it take you to find it?”
“A while.”
“So, you understood that I definitely did not want your eyes to see that book, but you knowingly went looking for it and read it anyways.”
I was openly crying now. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he looked at me with incredulity. “You broke my trust.”