It was a startling realization, but she looked her age tonight. Actually, she could have passed for a high schooler if not for the sinful way her body was built. Her makeup wasn’t heavy tonight like she normally wore it, and the dark red curls that she usually destroyed with a straightener were wild and stringy around her face.
I was so spellbound by how absolutely breathtaking she looked. I’d seen her every day of my life since she moved in next door, though it wasn’t until kindergarten that I got to know her, but maybe it was because I didn’t see her at all now that she had me mesmerized.
That’s funny, Ben.
She had always ensnared me, even as a kid, only I used to know how to recover. I used to know how to hide it.
She tilted her head at me and moved her hand over her stomach where she thought my eyes were focused on when truthfully; they were focused on all of her. “I know, I’ve gained weight.”
Realizing she’d mistaken my staring for the wrong reason, I lifted my eyes and met her tentative green orbs. “I’m just trying to decide if I’ll have enough days in town to beat the shit out of every guy that hits on you.”
“What?” She laughed, shaking her head. “You wouldn’t know who.”
“I will after you tell me.”
She stepped forward, and I grabbed her for a hug. She let me, quick to return one of her own. I enjoyed myself as I pushed my nose into her hair and breathed her in while I had the chance to. I even peeked over and looked down at her ass. “Your ass looks bigger.” Every guy talked about it in high school much to my annoyance. I couldn’t stand people objectifying her. When in reality, guys should notice how charming she was as a person, then they’d realize the beauty of her outer appearance was a bonus.
Like me. She needed someone like me.
She pushed me away, looked up, her expression equally mortified and amused. “Benjamin, that’s so uncalled for…” Her eyes raked over me. “I don’t talk about how big you’ve gotten.”
I smirked. “It’s all muscle.”
“I know.” She huffed. “It’s weird that you work out now.”
“Why?” I cocked a brow at her.
“Because you’re you.”
I was really curious as to how she saw me in that pretty little head of hers. I knew I was different from any other guy because she kept me around, and she never noticed me like she did the rest.
“Can I get a refill?” someone yelled at her.
“Sure thing!” She smiled quickly. “Are you eating?”
“Nah, I just wanted to see you before I went home.”
She shook her head like I was crazy. “You’d still see me in a few hours.”
“This way it was sooner.”
She studied me. “Go away, Benjamin, I need to work.”
“Wings later?”
She nodded. “I’ll grab my dad’s beer.”
I snorted. “Give it up.”
“Never. I’ll get you drunk. I’ll corrupt you yet.”
She went back to work, and I stared as she moved through the tables. Her nose crinkled and an absent look on her face. If she only asked for more of me, I’d let her corrupt me, then more.
_______
“What happened to that one girl you told me about?” Mom had been herself since the moment I opened the door and stepped inside the house.
“Where’s Dad?” I asked.
“There were some problems at work.”
That sounded about right. All the more reason why I kept holding off joining the family business. I knew that was my future, but I didn’t want to do it or anything else. I just wasn’t in a hurry to sell cars and help with a business where I’d be responsible for every employee that worked under me.
I liked college. I never struggled with schoolwork or hated it like Emily. I liked knowing I didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want to either. I didn’t have any responsibility besides school and my part-time job at the college.
What was surprising was how my roommate, Luke, managed to get me going to the gym. I never thought I’d find a new hobby in it. I liked the endurance it built and required, and how it physically made me feel better…and the ladies liked it too. Even baseball never kept me in this great shape.
The only thing I missed while I was away was Emily, but I talked to her every day via phone or text.
“About that girl that answered your phone a few weeks ago.” She waited.
I sighed. “It wasn’t anything, we were just hanging out.” Fucking until she became crazy. I’d never been one of those guys that got all caught up in sex, but once a girl caught my attention, I tended to obsess over her for a while. That had been the case with Lauren until she showed me just how much crazier she was outside of the bedroom than she was in it. She was one of those that you’d never think was obsessive and stalker-ish until you saw her everywhere you went, the gym, the café… In your closet at a party, trying to catch you in some sort of act with another girl.
I wasn’t that guy. I’d never cheat if I was in a relationship. I wasn’t even with Lauren besides in the bedroom, but I wouldn’t have jumped into the bed with someone else even then.
Women weren’t worth the headache. As much as I wanted sex—I am a guy after all—the drama that came with females, in general, kept me from dating anyone.
“She had seemed sweet.” Mom frowned, then her eyes brightened once again. “I saw Kelly the other day, she’s still a doll.”
I exhaled. Mom was the very reason I dated Kelly in high school. Her parents were good friends with mine, and they always wanted us together. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have dated her if I hadn’t liked her in high school. Kelly was easy to like, I just wasn’t the best guy at dating. I liked having my own time to do what I wanted, and for some reason, girls seemed to think that they required all of your time once you were dating.
“Well?”
“She asked about you.”
“Well?”
“Well…?” She stood in front of me and placed her hands on her hips. “Aren’t you curious about her?”
“Why would I be?”
“Benny.”
“What?”
She sighed. “Nothing, I suppose.” She sat down on the sofa next to me. “Are you seeing someone right now?”
“Nah.”
“That’s good, I suppose. Plenty of time to find someone when you come back from college for good.”
I arched an eyebrow at her. “I’m just nineteen, I’m sure I’ll find someone that’s worth the effort and time it takes to please y’all females.”
She smirked. “That’s my boy. Let’s not settle then.”
“Want anything from town?” I asked her, standing up.
She shook her head. “Where are you going?”
“Pizza Hut to pick up the food I ordered.”
At the mention of mine and Emily’s favorite place, she scowled. “Are you going next door to hang out with Emily?”
“Yep.”
“Why are you still hanging out with her even now?”
“Why do you hate her so much?”
“Because she’s not good for you.”
“Well, you’re in luck, she only sees me as a friend.”
She gaped at me in horror. “You sound like you want her to see you as something more.”
“Mom, stop. She’s Emily. She’s going to be in my life, always.”
Chapter 3
______
Emily
“She was hiding in your closet?”
I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. That was scary and ridiculous all at once.
He nodded, licking his bone clean as he sat at my computer chair. I was sitting with my legs crossed on my bed eating. “Yeah. Luke had invited a few people over to our apartment and most of them were drinking, so once they started getting obnoxious, I went to my room and tried to drown them out with some headphones. I didn’t expect to have a heart attack when I opened my closet door to get a change of clothes.”<
br />
I shook my head. “I thought I was the one that picked the wrong ones in a relationship? Not you. The world’s not right. College has officially killed your judge of character.”
He scoffed, turning the chair slightly. “We weren’t dating.” My eyes slid over his jogging pants, and I was suddenly curious if his legs were as toned as the rest of him was. I already knew the answer to that question. Benjamin was always naturally fit and beautiful, but now…with the bulging muscles, he was slowly losing those boyish looks and becoming something else. All within a few months apart.
It was strange.
I didn’t know how else to put it.
“You were having sex…which is equally not you. Did you finally become a full-blooded male at college?”
“Get out of here.” He frowned at me. “Why do you always act like I’m not interested in sex? I’d just like to find a girl that doesn’t require my attention twenty-four seven and not entirely crazy.”
“Not entirely?” I grinned.
“Yeah, I can handle crazy in the bedroom, just not outside it.”
“You’ve officially become a jerk.” I threw a pillow at him, and he laughed.
“It also doesn’t help that I attract the wrong ones when they find out my parents have money.”
I gave him a pitying look. “That’s true… But their money is your money the moment you start working for your dad.”
He groaned. “I plan to finish college first. I’m in no hurry.”
“To grow up?”
He flicked his eyes over me. “No, it’s not that. My personality requires me to give myself all the attention that’s why running a business or even dating isn’t easy for me.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Benjamin did have a lazy personality trait and he only ever did what he wanted, but he definitely had what it took to date and love someone, even marry and have kids one day. I should know. He’d been watching after and caring for me our whole lives.
“Everyone’s like that, besides you’ll meet someone who will grab your attention from yourself and maybe she’ll keep it for the rest of your life.”
He squinted one eye at me and shrugged. “I’ve probably already met her. She just doesn’t know it.”
I laughed. “Benjamin, it’s you that’s supposed to know she’s the one when you meet her.”
He was a nut.
Smirking, I leaned over and grabbed one of the beers from the desk and held one out to him waggling my brows. “Enough about this, it’s time for you to drink with me.”
“I’m not drinking with you.” He shook his head, fighting his smile.
I sighed. “Why won’t you ever drink?”
“I do drink.”
“I know,” I grumbled. “Just not with me.”
He never went to any parties, but I did know that when he’d go to his buddy’s house in high school, he’d drink some with them because Sean would tell me about it the next week. I had access to alcohol all the time since my dad was an alcoholic yet I’d only had a couple of drinks here and there. The few times I had were with my exes because at the time I had wanted to feel older.
Now, I just wanted nothing more than to relax and get a nice buzz with Benjamin. I really wanted to get him drunk because I bet it’d be hilarious. We always had fun together, but I still wanted to meet drunk Benjamin. I wanted a good giggle. I’d never met a drunk Emily to know what she was like. The closest I’ve gotten was a small buzz, and I’d always stopped, a tight knot in my stomach stopping me from taking it any further every time.
He leaned forward and started scooting the chair toward me. “I’m probably not a good drunk, besides, I don’t want to lose all my inhibitions.”
I snorted by accident, and he started cackling. “Stop laughing,” I huffed through laughter. “And please, inhibitions, my ass.”
His expression sobered…seemed like a lifetime later, and he watched me with a hint of sadness. “You used to hate that your dad was drunk all the time growing up, I guess I can’t get myself to drink around you because of that.”
I straightened my back as my smile waned. I looked away from Benjamin’s penetrating gaze. Here we go, turning our fun night into an uncomfortable one.
“Yeah, but then I got older and realized that it was my father, and I just accepted that about him.” I finally looked at Benjamin and hated the look he was giving me. “Stop looking at me like that, Dad’s not a bad person, Benjamin.” I used my authoritative tone on him that I used on the handsy drunk men that I dealt with at Crash’s. “After the DUI, he stopped drinking and driving. He stays home where he bothers no one.”
Benjamin held his hands up. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”
I met his eyes with a glare. I suspected why he acted this way. “You think I’m going to turn out that way? That I’m going to drink every day?” I voiced my own fear.
“I don’t think—”
“Jesus, Benjamin, the last time I drank anything was when I was dating Josh and it was only one. I’ve never been drunk!” I admitted, and Benjamin’s eyes widened.
“But all those parties…” he trailed off.
Feeling hurt, I turned away from him. “I’m not an idiot, there’s no way I’d get drunk with people I don’t know.”
“But you always went with someone you were dating.”
“Exactly, we know what poor choice I had in guys.”
He looked a little irked. “Fuck, Emily, if you were wary of drinking around them then why the hell were you dating them?”
I flinched at his words. “I don’t know,” I said miserably. For some reason, I gravitated toward the bad ones. Like they were something great, but it dulled so quickly that it was scary how fast even my brain couldn’t trick me into thinking they were something better than they were.
Now I stuck to myself. And it felt great not needing someone to not feel lonely. I had Benjamin and Katie, even Dad who I carried a conversation with every single day, mostly one-sided, but I counted it. And Mom… Ah, not so much.
“Come here,” Benjamin whispered, and I looked over to see him opening his arms wide and coming closer. I placed my foot up, and my leg stretched out between us.
“I don’t think so. Go back to your chair.”
He complied and watched me through dark eyes. “Let me hug you, I feel fucking horrible when I make you upset.”
I gave him a side-eyed frown then crossed my arms. “I only bug you about drinking with me because you’re the one person I’d want to get drunk with.” I faced him head-on because I needed him to see my sincerity while I said it. “I know that I’m safe, and I can get completely wasted, and you’d make sure nothing happened to me. You don’t understand, it’s what I need to let loose.” It was the truth.
I needed him like a fish needed air to survive.
I trusted him more than anyone.
After dating guys that didn’t know the meaning of the word no, and Josh who even forced himself on me after a guy spoke to me at a party, I knew not to give anyone the chance to take advantage of me. So, I didn’t.
“I’m such an ass,” he muttered, raising back up. “Come here.”
I sighed, feeling awkward now that I knew he was coming to hug and pet me.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured.
I let him drop down on the bed and wrap me in his huge arms. And I felt completely content when he did. I relaxed in his hold and breathed in his cologne that smelled so good. I closed my eyes and relished in the way I felt safest with him. “It’s okay. I’m used to your coddling by now. Just hate when you don’t have more faith in me. I’m not going to become some alcoholic like my dad, and I’m definitely not going to end up with an abusive husband.”
“I know you won’t.” His grip tightened around me. “I’d never let that happen.”
_______
Christmas arrived quicker than I liked. When it was over, I knew it’d be time to say goodbye to Benjamin again.
I didn’t get
to see him today since he went with his parents to his grandparents’ house, something they did every year on Christmas Day.
His family celebrated Christmas with all of its light and cheer while mine never even put up a tree. It was hard not to feel envious when the holidays came. My mom stopped buying me a gift years ago. I chose to cook us something this year. Nothing too big because I didn’t want to spend a fortune on a meal that only Dad and I ate.
Mom was a picky eater and for someone that watched her own health and weight, she didn’t give much attention to her alcoholic husband or daughter. She’d been staying away lately, more than usual.
But it was weird that she wasn’t home on Christmas. The courthouse was closed, so she wasn’t working.
“Where’s Mom?” I plopped down on the couch as Dad reclined in his chair.
“She left earlier. I don’t know where she went.” I already knew that much.
I sighed. “It’s Christmas, where else would she be?”
He turned his head and looked at me like he seemed to be considering my words. “Huh? I don’t know. Try calling.”
I stood up and dialed her number on my cell when the front door opened.
“It’s freezing out.” Mom shrugged her jacket off and grabbed her arms.
“Where have you been?” I asked her.
“I ran to the gas station to get me some cigarettes,” she answered, and I frowned.
“Merry Christmas,” I grumbled.
She finally looked up, her eyes fell over me before she smiled. “Merry Christmas.” I watched her sniff the air and turn her head toward the kitchen. “Did you make something?
How did it take her that long to get cigarettes? “Yeah, it’s Christmas. Someone should cook something.”
She frowned at me. “What’s wrong, Emily?”
I wiped my forehead and sighed. “Nothing, I guess. I’d just like to celebrate with you both.” I tried not to sound too hopeful about it.
She walked into the kitchen, and I followed her. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” she asked, glancing at the food on the table.
“Sure, I guess.” I turned my head and yelled, “Dad, do you want to watch a movie?”
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