Dad squinted his eyes at his cards and nodded. “Probably for the best. His mom really doesn’t like you.”
I huffed. “Gee. Thanks.” Then I begrudgingly added, “Yeah, I know.”
“Probably saw you sneaking off one too many times when y’all were in high school, and you were always pulling him into your troubles.” Dad held his coffee mug to his mouth and sipped as he spoke nonchalantly.
I had the decency to look ashamed. “I didn’t realize you paid attention to what I did in high school.”
“What should I have done?” he asked me. “I was an alcoholic. What right did I have to stop you from doing whatever you wanted?”
“You have a seriously messed up way of thinking,” I told him.
He mocked me, “Gee, thanks.” We were quiet a second as we played. “How’s your mom?”
I squinted my eyes at him. “She’s good. Why?”
“Can’t I ask if she’s doing good?” He paused several seconds. “You should invite her over.”
I snorted. “Yeah, I don’t think Sarah would like that.”
That made him smirk. “Why? She worried I’ll steal my wife back?”
“Ex-wife,” I corrected him.
There was a knock on the door, and I jumped up so quickly my chair fell backward. Dad muttered, “Jesus, Emily, you’re acting more like your lover is back from the army.”
I gave him a scathing look. “Why you gotta ruin my mood?”
“When you gonna leave Roger?” he surprised me by saying.
I shook my head at him as I hurried to the front door. I opened it and came face to face with Benjamin.
I smiled. No, I beamed at him.
My favorite person. That was my favorite face again. Instead of smiling back, he pushed me inside and shut the door. “What are you doing?”
“I parked over here so that my mom wouldn’t know I was here.”
“Why?” I asked him.
Then he finally looked down and smiled at me sheepishly. “Because she’d hog me all to herself, and you wouldn’t get to see me.”
I nodded. “You’re right.” I patted his shoulder. “You did well.”
He laughed, then stopped as we stared at each other. He had slight stubble on his cheeks that I’d never seen on him before. His dark eyes were slanted to perfection behind his glasses and his dark hair was practically gone it was so short now. But he looked amazing.
Very good-looking.
“Damn, my best friend is hot,” I blurted out, and we both widened our eyes for a minute at my outburst before we laughed.
“Come here,” he said while scooping me up for a bear hug.
I buried my nose in the same place on his chest every time he hugged me. I should call it my spot. I breathed him in, and the warmth that wrapped around my bones let me know how much I missed him.
“Hey Benjamin,” Dad stepped out of the kitchen. We released each other, and I glanced back at Dad. He was watching us with interest.
“Good to see you, Nolan.” Benjamin smiled.
“Where’s your lady?” Dad asked him. I knew what Dad was up to, so I glared at him.
“We broke up.”
Dad didn’t look surprised, instead, his eyes twinkled. “Oh. Well, I hate to hear that.”
“Let’s go somewhere,” I said to Benjamin.
“Where do you want to go?” I loved that he didn’t protest, instead, he asked me where. Yes, this was my Benjamin.
“How about we play some cards?” Dad suggested.
“We’ve been playing for the last hour,” I grumbled.
He ignored me. “What do you say, Benjamin?”
Benjamin looked at me for an answer. “Do you really want to leave?”
I frowned. “Fine. We’ll stay here with you, Dad. I hope you’re happy.”
Dad grinned. “Call that father of yours. Tell him to sneak away from that lady of his for a moment and come play some poker with us.”
_____
Benjamin
“You’re cheating every time you deal,” my dad said to Emily’s dad as he shuffled the cards. “What do you say, Junior? You think he’s cheating?”
I smiled, shrugging my shoulders much to Emily’s annoyance because she huffed. “Y’all just suck. Fork over your dollar bills already.”
Her cheeks were flushed with excitement, and she was into the game despite having originally not wanting to stay. Her curls were bunched up on the top of her head. They hadn’t lasted over her shoulders when we started playing, and our dads started throwing trash talk over the table.
I decided right there as she glanced down at her cards, I’m really glad I came home. And I was glad Tammy left me. I might not have exactly what I wanted from her, but this felt better than not coming home and seeing her. I hadn’t known how lonely and unhappy I truly was the past year until now.
Nolan grinned at his daughter. Those two were winning all the bets. No wonder he had suggested we bet to make it interesting. It was interesting, all right, to lose every dollar in your billfold.
“How much have you cheated me out of already?” Dad nagged him.
Emily smugly looked down at the money she had and replied, “I got thirty of it.”
“I have forty dollars somewhere on this table that I’ve lost,” I told her, and she stuck her tongue out at me, then smiled.
“I got about sixty,” Nolan said casually.
“You cheat,” Dad kept on, but he was smiling as he did it.
“Don’t call my dad a cheat,” Emily said through a smile. “If anyone’s a cheat, it’s you. You coax people into thinking they need a new car and take the bank’s money while leaving them in debt. That is cheating someone out of their money.”
My dad looked at Emily surprised. Her head dropped slightly. Then she realized what she said, and we all burst into laughter. “I do no such thing,” Dad tried to defend himself through his laughter. “I want to help families find their dream car.”
“Uh-huh, sure. I’d tell myself that too to feel better about myself,” Emily muttered.
“You’re cheating too, aren’t ya? That’s why you’re trying to twist this around on me.” Dad aggravated Emily.
“You two have been dealing the cards too,” she huffed.
Dad gave her a crooked smile. “She’s about to blow a fuse, ain’t she?”
She shook her head fighting a grin then looked at me again. “Now I know why you’re so annoying sometimes.”
They all started laughing again, but I couldn’t stop staring at her. I wasn’t interested in the game as much as I was interested in soaking up her beauty. I’d been stuck looking at her through images for so long… How the hell did I stay away?
“Benjamin.” She smiled, moving her hands in front of my face, and I snapped my head back to the table and saw the men staring at me. It was like they knew what sort of thoughts I had about her and how inappropriate they were for friendship. How many times had they given me that look already tonight? The only one oblivious was Emily.
I straightened in my seat as Emily’s phone went off again. She had been getting a lot of text messages, but this was her first call. “Hello?”
She glanced at me then down at the table. “I’m at Dad’s like I said.” She paused a moment. “Come over here. I don’t plan on coming home right now.” Her eyes held a tightness to them as she mouthed, be right back, and stood up and disappeared into another room.
I found myself glaring until one of them cleared their throat and forced me to look back to the table. “He must not like that Benjamin’s here.” I stiffened at her dad’s words.
“Nope,” Dad agreed.
“The hell?” I muttered. “She can do what she wants.”
“Would you want your girl hanging out with another guy?” Dad asked with a grin.
When I didn’t answer, he asked another, “You didn’t bring Tammy with you?”
Well, fuck, they were going to corner me. “We broke up.”
“Hmm.” Ther
e was a certain slyness in Dad’s voice. “She was a sweet girl, but I didn’t feel that you two would make it.”
I studied those two and their perceptive eyes and glances toward each other.
“Y’all got something to say?” I asked them both.
“No,” Nolan mumbled. “Do you?”
I thought about what they were up to for a moment before I replied. “It’s not like you don’t already know.” I rubbed the back of my head self-consciously.
They glanced at each other and started grinning. “Don’t worry, Junior, I already know,” Dad said sympathetically.
Nolan nodded. “It’s always been obvious on my part too, and I was a drunk.” That made them both laugh in a way that was obnoxious.
Emily finally came back into the kitchen, and they straightened up. Only my mood grew worse when I took in her expression. “I’m going to head back to the apartment.” She glanced at me, then averted her gaze just as quickly.
“Don’t go running home just because he’s mad,” Nolan told her.
She sighed and walked over to give him a hug. “Dad, please don’t.”
“I’m not saying anything,” he told her.
“Bye, Ben.” She waved at my dad.
“Stay and have some more coffee with us,” Dad held up his coffee mug to her.
She laughed, finally meeting my eyes, and then there she was averting them just as quickly. She just walked out without saying goodbye to me. I felt my mood getting increasingly worse at the thought of her being in another shitty relationship.
I stood up. “I guess I’ll head home and let Mom know I’m here.”
“Good idea,” Dad said. “Emily probably wanted you to follow her out.”
What had the world come to? Was I so obvious and pathetic that our dads were pitying me and trying to help?
I just left without another word. She was stepping off the porch when I caught up to her. “Emily.” I caught her by her giant black jacket and turned her around. “Everyone gets a goodbye but me?”
“I was waiting on you to follow.” Even she knew that I’d follow. She hugged the jacket around her, and my heart pounded at such a simple gesture. I wanted to be that jacket. I wanted to hold her in my arms. Her eyes roved over me until she said, “Is Freddy coming?”
I ignored the comment about my mood, but he was out. “Do you have to leave when he tells you?”
She looked offended. “What? No!”
“He doesn’t like you hanging out with me. Does he?”
“None of my boyfriends has liked me hanging out with you.”
“And they were all asses.”
“Roger’s not like that,” she said with a sad tug on her lips. “He’s actually a great guy, and I know it bothers him. He didn’t ask me to leave, he just asked me when I was coming home. I’m trying to be considerate of him.”
“No, he’s manipulating you—”
“He’s not.” She glared. “Go away, Freddy.”
“I’m pissed. He’s not going anywhere.” I stepped closer into her space.
“Woo, scary,” she bit out with a glare. “You forgot I’m immune to him. He’s all sulk and talk, but there’s never any clawing or nightmares.”
“No, but that doesn’t mean he won’t grab you and shake some sense into you.” I held my hands out in demonstration. “Shit, you got us referring to me in the third person.”
She started to snort laugh and my mood lightened somewhat. I dropped my hands. “Seriously, Benjamin. It’s ten.” I hadn’t realized it had gotten so late. That explained the cold biting into my arms and the darkened sky. “I don’t know, but I’d think if someone was at home waiting for you this late, isn’t that what you do? Go home to be with them?”
I’d imagine she was right. I also imagined it being her waiting on me or vice versa. Instead of anger, I was left with a gut-wrenching sadness in its place.
I really hated sharing her. And never actually having her.
But I was too afraid to leave the confines she left me in.
I wondered if I was still her safe place.
I briefly wondered if maybe I should try stepping out.
The thought of rejection or permanent removal of her in my life would keep me in check though.
“Go on then,” I told her. “Don’t worry. We still have a few days before I have to go back.”
Her face brightened at my words, only I probably wasn’t voicing her worries. Those were mine.
Chapter 12
______
Emily
I wished for Christmas Eve and Day to pass quickly.
But they had moved extremely slow. I told myself to enjoy it while I went to Roger’s family on Christmas Eve. And I told myself to enjoy it when I went to Mom’s and ate with her and Sarah on Christmas Day. Roger wasn’t with me that day since he had to work at the hospital, but I spent that evening with him where we opened gifts in the apartment.
Only I kept wishing for it to be the day after, so I could spend time with Benjamin before he had to leave. Our days were numbered. It had me cranky and depressed. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed having him around until it was all I could think about while he was here.
I rushed out of the apartment that morning as soon as I woke up. Roger had already gone to work. I made my way to Dad’s where I ate a Christmas dinner for the third day in a row. Thankfully, he understood how tired I would be after going to everyone’s houses, so he waited to celebrate with me today. He also forced me to send a picture of himself standing next to the tree to Mom. It had been funny. I hated to say it, but I had more fun just being here alone with Dad.
If someone would have told me I’d be this close to him when I was younger like I was now, I wouldn’t have believed them.
Even though I didn’t live here anymore, I still bought him a tree and put it up ever since deciding we needed some cheer in our lives on Christmas. Today I was taking it down though. He sat and watched as I fought with the lights.
“The lights are getting tangled,” he stated the obvious.
I turned my neck just enough so that I could glare at him. “Why don’t you help then?” He went quiet. There was a knock on the door. “Can you get it, Dad? It’s Benjamin.”
He disappeared, I heard them talking, and a second later they were both standing in the living room. Benjamin wore casual clothes, but he looked so handsome. He had a box in his hand. “I didn’t get you anything,” I said with a frown.
“Who said I got you anything?” He snorted as he handed off the box to Dad. “Dad thought y’all might want some candy.”
I blushed. “Oh.”
“What are you doing?” He looked on the verge of laughing.
“Becoming the tree herself,” Dad pointed out.
I looked down and saw that I somehow managed to wrap myself in Christmas lights. I dropped my hands in surrender. “Help.”
With a smile, he stepped forward and took the lights from my hands. He was bent over me, so it put him closer to my face. He always smelled good. He had perfect skin too. “Where’s Roger?”
“Hmm?”
He met my eyes and skimmed over my face with a smirk. “Roger?”
“Oh, he’s working.”
He dropped his eyes to my stomach and started working with the lights. “How the hell did you do this?” he muttered as his eyebrows bunched together in concentration. “Did you guys have a good Christmas?”
“Yeah, it was nice.”
He lifted his eyes to my face. “Nice?” I nodded. “That sounds boring.”
“My daughter is boring,” Dad observed us from the couch.
“We sat and opened presents. The same as everyone else on Christmas.” His smirk both irritated and entertained me. “Why? What did you and Tammy used to do on Christmas?”
“The same.”
I didn’t even understand why I was disappointed with his answer. “Then why are you calling me boring?”
There was a flash of something I’d nev
er seen before fall over his features. “Imagine how much better it would have been if we had spent the last couple of Christmas’s together?” I rolled my lips in my mouth and said nothing, but my face was strangely heated in a way it hadn’t been before. “Relationships are overrated.”
His words brought me out of my weird state. I shook my head. “Say that to me when you find yourself a new girlfriend.”
Only I wouldn’t admit that I agreed. He and I would have had a better time if we had been together. He was still my most favorite person after all.
“Here, you sit down and put the stuff away while I take everything off the tree.”
I plopped down on the floor and looked up at him. He simply grinned down at me. I liked when he smiled at me. When Benjamin looked at me, I felt like I was something special. He was overprotective and overbearing with me, I always loved that too.
We spent the next thirty minutes taking down the tree while Dad sat back and criticized everything we did or talked about, making sure he added his two cents. After eating another plate of food with Dad, Benjamin offered to take us out somewhere, and I agreed to get some time alone with him.
We found ourselves skimming through games at Game Stop. It was rather busy the day after Christmas, all these kids wanted to spend the money they received.
“Don’t you start sending out some ARCs to the bloggers soon?” Benjamin murmured, picking up a game and flipping it over to look at the back.
“Please don’t bring that up.” My stomach swam with uneasiness. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”
He smirked. “Too late now. Tiffany should be done with the cover in no time. She was very passionate about doing it—the idea of a gorilla man and human girl.” I nodded. “You worry too much about what people think, some are gonna like it, some are gonna hate it, while others might even love it.”
“It’s just…so goofy.”
“That’s what makes it so good. Anyone that one-clicks it with a title and description like that thinking it’s gonna be anything other than outrageous comedy, should have their head checked.” That made me smile. “Are you gonna let me read volume two yet?”
I lifted my brow. “How did you know I was finished with it?”
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