“Yeah, I am.” I raised up and sat my beer on the table. “Why the questions?” Even my voice had a tremor in it.
He leaned up and set his beer down, then he scooted closer to me. “Did you read the scene I wrote yet?”
I blushed. He was killing me. I had to look away again. “Yeah, but why are you bringing that up now?”
“Because we haven’t really been friendly the last month for me to get a chance to.”
This was my doing. I did this earlier when I had cried and now he knew everything, and now I saw something in his own eyes staring back at me.
“No, we haven’t,” I whispered.
“Am I still your Benjamin?” His deep, velvety voice asked me.
I thought about it. This was Benjamin next to me. This was the eyes, the arms that hugged and consoled me countless times, but he wasn’t safe. At least not to my emotions. I didn’t recognize my body around him. I was completely out of control when he was around… But this was my Benjamin. He might have set me anew, and I might not ever get a grip on what I felt when he was around anymore, but he’d never hurt me.
He was safe in the most unsafe way.
“You’re still my Benjamin,” I mumbled.
Our eyes held something, then he let go to place a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and absorbed it before grabbing his face when he leaned away and returned one to his forehead. He slid his hand into my hair and kissed one of my eyes. I did the same all the while we kept looking at each other. Next, he kissed my cheek. I returned it. When he claimed my lips, I claimed his back. I moaned. He never stopped.
His hand left my hair, and he placed both at my waist as he pulled me atop of him. I straddled him as he leaned back and continued to devour my lips. I burned all over. I’d never been so aware of my body as I did now and how much it could feel.
I opened my mouth for his tongue to come in and he groaned. His hands were on my legs, then they were sliding up toward my ass where he slipped his hands underneath my shorts and squeezed both cheeks tightly. I separated our lips and gasped as he pressed me into his erection between us.
“You’re trembling.” His voice was thick and gravelly as he spoke. “Do you like that?” He pressed me into him again.
My face was on fire. I hadn’t realized he’d be verbal during moments like this… I normally wasn’t, so I had no idea what to say or how to handle how sensitive my body was becoming in his arms. Even my breasts were heavy and achy—that couldn’t be normal.
“You’re quiet, that’s okay. I’ll make you let go.”
The bottom of my stomach reacted to his words.
He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and forced me to lift my arms up. Then he was unhooking my bra. He grabbed two big handfuls as he groaned. “Fuck.”
“Your shirt,” I mumbled, reaching for his.
“Want it off?” he asked me. I nodded, and he yanked it off immediately. “I need more skin.” He was lifting me up, sliding my shorts down with haste. He tugged my panties down with them. There was an awkward moment of me getting completely out of them then it was over, and his eyes didn’t know which part of me to stare at because they couldn’t stay put as he unzipped his own pants.
I watched with nervous excitement as he did so, but he did nothing more than slide his pants down just enough. I could see the outline of his erection against his black briefs.
He grabbed ahold of the back of my head and pulled me into another breathtaking kiss. I squirmed against him, and when he slid his free hand between us and slid a finger between my folds, I squeezed his shoulders and shoved my tongue so far back into his mouth, he groaned.
He casually circled my clit, taking his time with me, but my body was pent up and restless. I didn’t even understand my own body. I’d never felt so much need like I might die if he didn’t touch me more.
“Benjamin,” I panted.
He started leaning his body to the side. At first, I wasn’t sure what he was doing until he was shuffling us around so that he was on his back on the couch and I was on top of him. I made a move to slide down so that our bodies aligned but he gripped my hips to stop me. “No, up.” Up?
Nerves tangled with lust. He wanted me to sit on his face? I’d never done that, and the idea seemed embarrassing. All I could think about was the fact that I hadn’t showered yet after work. “I haven’t—”
He didn’t give me time to protest. He yanked me forward, urging me upward until I placed my knees at each of his ears and waited nervously. He grabbed my ass and pushed me onto his face. I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand as he slid his tongue over me. I was frozen as he used his tongue in such a way that killed me inside because he was so sure and precise that it forced me to relax.
One of his hands left my ass and joined his tongue at my opening. His tongue worked my clit while a finger pressed inside of me. I gripped the top of the couch and moaned. “Just let go, Emily. Use my face and come.”
“O-okay,” I breathed as I grabbed a handful of his hair and did as he said. I worked myself into his finger and tongue, gripping the couch and his hair to do so.
What was once embarrassing, became empowering. His entire face was underneath me and what should have felt dirty, suddenly became the most erotic, most sensual, and most loving moment I’d experienced.
His hand that had been gripping my ass this entire time, found its way to one of my breasts and squeezed tight before taking my nipple and pinching it, then it was gone again, and I briefly felt it go down to his briefs to do something.
His finger changed direction. “There,” I told him.
Now he kept hitting me in the perfect spot over and over, and his mouth covered my clit and sucked. And I started coming on his face. It lit up my entire body, I had no choice but to be loud. Only he didn’t let me finish, he yanked me down mid-orgasm and just when I was about to protest, he had our bodies already aligned, our faces close as he pressed into me all at once.
My orgasm came back stronger than before. That wasn’t all, Benjamin stretched me until I didn’t think I could get any fuller and his release chased mine. His groan and my moan collided as I pulsed and greedily excepted his release inside my body.
When it was over, I started kissing his face all over. We didn’t even technically have sex yet; he had only pressed inside but we had both gotten a release and it wasn’t enough. My body was humming for more when it should have been sated after that mind-blowing experience with him. I continued to kiss him, hoping he sensed my urgency and understood that I wasn’t done.
Still inside of me, he raised us both up and gave me time to adjust my legs around his waist before he stood up and carried us to his bedroom. I was still kissing his face and running my hands down his chest. “I had to get that out of the way so that I could do you the way you deserve,” he whispered sexily into my ear before he placed me down onto his bed and looked at me with glazed-over eyes. The sexiest eyes I’d ever seen.
“If you aren’t aware by now, you’re my always.” He spoke softly, surely, beautifully. He tapped on his chest. “You’re this Benjamin’s Emily like Gorilla Ben has his Rosie.”
He was going to make me cry. He realized something that I’d never paid much attention to. How much Benjamin and Emily go together. He’d been rooting for us all this time.
“That sounds…so good.” I almost choked up.
“You should write about them.”
“I already have.”
He smiled. “I know.”
If I had anything left to give to him, it was stolen then. He leaned down and kissed me as he began to move inside me again. My body was adjusted and slick and so willing to take from him. I dragged my fingers down his back as he made love to me. He gave attention to every part of my body, and he made sure to let me come undone before he allowed himself to.
I laid my head on his chest that night and slept with the rest of him I had desperately needed.
Benjamin had always been mine, but now he was completely.
Instead of getting drunk that night, we got drunk off one another instead.
Chapter 29
________
Benjamin
Emily climbing out of my bed stirred me awake. I brought my head up from the pillow and blinked my eyes trying to see the place on my bed she’d just left. Images of what happened earlier this morning replayed in my head, and I dropped my head and smiled.
It had been beyond anything I’d envisioned a thousand times in my head. It had been so much more. Emily had been everything and then more… And she wanted me too. I didn’t know how or when it happened, but it was something I would find out in time. I’d only wished I’d known sooner. All this love I had to give her could have been received sooner.
I stared at the sun filtering in from my window then eyed the door, wondering where she had gone. I was about to climb out of bed in search of her when she stepped back into the room wearing my T-shirt she had put on before we had gone to sleep.
I devoured her bare legs as she hurried back to the bed and slipped under the covers with me. I closed in on her and ran my hand up her thigh in search of her warmth. She sighed happily and placed an arm around my neck, bringing me close, and her thighs parted for my hand in the process. My cock had already been a part of this party since I had awakened and thought about last night.
She placed a kiss on my neck, and I groaned. I took a moment to look down at her. Her green eyes were bright, and her entire body was still flushed from last night. She looked thoroughly ravished by me.
She sighed against my cheek. “Benjamin.”
“Yeah, babe?” I tested the word out on her. Her eyes opened and met mine, then she beamed. I supposed she liked it too.
“I’m more turned on then I was last night.” She said it like it was embarrassing to admit or the idea should have been impossible.
I smiled and bit into her collarbone. “Is that bad?”
“It’s just… I’m so sensitive,” she mumbled softly. “Everything you do feels good.”
“Because we’re fucking good together,” I told her the truth, then bent toward her ear. “I’ll keep showing you how much every night.” She trembled at my words. “Hmm, how should I have you this morning? Should I put you on top and let you be in control… Or should I bend you over and stick your ass in the air?”
She hid her face in my forearm. I didn’t think she knew how to handle my mouth when it came to the bedroom. Which was okay, I knew she’d come to love it. She didn’t know this side of me, and I couldn’t wait to show her. Just like I hadn’t expected her to be so shy and responsive, but look at her… With all the talk of how much she didn’t care for sex and how easily she blasted me about it, I never imagined she’d be so fucking responsive.
I wanted to kick myself in the face when I thought back to all these little things that had changed about her within this year. She blushed all the time. She was sometimes even awkward and…and there were just so many instances in which I should have read her better and I might have… I don’t know, gotten her sooner.
That sounded great, but this, having her now was fucking perfect.
So, it didn’t matter how dumb I’d been about her.
When she didn’t respond to any of my suggestions, I laid on my back and pulled her atop of me. She came easily. Her pussy was hot and taking every bit of my soul when it rubbed against my hard-on. I gripped her ass cheeks and slid her over me without sliding it in. She whimpered. She liked it too.
Emily had the best tits I’d ever seen. They were so damn huge and heavy against my chest that I might spill with just the thought of her sprawled over me. I wanted them in my face, in my mouth, I needed to see more of them too. I got what I wanted when she raised up, still straddling me. She was heavily focused as she looked down at where she was about to connect us. Her body separated from mine for a second as she gripped my cock and I hissed, then she placed me at her opening and slid all the way down until she was sitting on me again.
She placed one of her hands against my chest as her face pinched with silent ecstasy. My skin rippled… She was so damn perfect, and soft, and I was going to let this woman keep me for the rest of her fucking life if she would.
I’d always been a bit wrapped around her finger, but now that I’d had a taste of her completely, no one would ever compare to every moment I wanted to steal from her.
Her movements were small and so like her as she rode me. She was taking baby steps to get to her release, almost like she was afraid of it. If I didn’t encourage her to do more, I knew Emily would settle for things in her life. Good thing she had me to keep her from doing that kind of shit. I would encourage her even now.
I grabbed her ass again, lifted her up, and slammed back into her. She whimpered. “Like that?” This time, I squeezed her against me tight and made small, teasing strokes that mercilessly hit her in the same spot until she was panting. “Or like this?” I asked her.
Her eyes opened. She realized I was devouring her reactions as she sat above me. It must have been a good realization because her movements were a little clumsier and a lot more trying to reach a destination. I leaned upward and placed one of her nipples into my mouth. She began to pulse around me, and I knew she was close. I bit her nipple, and she arched her back for me as I lifted and pushed her down onto me a few times roughly by the hips.
“Oh, God,” she cried. She was letting go, and I slowed down to keep myself from coming with her. My entire body was humming at this point, so when she fell onto my chest from exhaustion and said, “I can’t move anymore,” the need to fuck her senseless had me tossing her to my side as I rolled until I was on top of her. I brought her legs up to her chest and did as I wanted and fucked her hard and uncontrolled. She gasped and cried as her eyes devoured me until I was succumbing to them and her body with an orgasm that left me boneless.
“You’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” she said with such intensity, I didn’t doubt that she had meant it.
Instead of collapsing on her, I dropped down beside her and scooped her up in my arms. She snuggled against me, and it made my chest hurt it felt so good. Almost like I couldn’t believe she was in my arms.
“Don’t go to work this evening,” I whispered.
“I wish I could stay here with you,” she mumbled. Her chin rested against my chest as she gazed up at me. “Did you fall asleep with your contacts in?”
“Yeah.” Wouldn’t be the first time I’d forgotten to take them out. I hated to make a habit out of it though, only last night had definitely been worth it.
“I love your eyes,” she whispered, still staring into them.
“Your eyes are amazing. Big and bright and green…and the days they have those gold specks in them… You are fuckin’ gorgeous.”
She placed her entire face into my chest and groaned. “Ugh, I don’t want to leave this apartment.”
I kissed the top of her head. “I always hated leaving you but now…”
“It’s going to be a lot worse,” she finished for me. “I know.”
“Emily.”
“Hmm.”
“I love you.”
She leaned away from my chest to look up at me again. “What kind of love is your ‘I love you’?”
Like she had to ask. “I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you. Sometimes that love would be overwhelming and sometimes it’d shrunk enough to fixate on another for a while…but only for a while because I began to realize each time my feelings for you resurfaced, they were stronger than before.”
“I’ve always loved you too…but this that I feel now, it’s not the same kind of love. This…with you, is like nothing I’ve experienced and it’s everything…and it’s scary.”
“Don’t be afraid,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“I feel like we’re stepping into territory where we can hurt each other… The thought of losing you…”
“Emily, stop.
All I’ve ever secretly wanted was you. I never thought I’d be anything more than your protector; your safe place. Now that I have you, there’s nothing that’s going to take you from me.”
“You don’t want to be my safe place anymore?” She sounded disappointed.
“I want to be your only place.” That made her smile. “Fuck every other guy. You’ve never needed to go searching for love when you had me, of course, I couldn’t voice that, but now I can.” I pinned my eyes on hers. “Now I can pamper and protect and fuck the shit out of you twenty-four seven. Be prepared. You’re going to be thoroughly loved.” She cuddled me tighter, and I ground my teeth against how possessive I felt. I would never control her. I hated when women or men let their partner control them. I just wanted her to know she was mine, and I was hers. No one came between us, or they’d have to deal with my mood.
“You’re tense.” She noticed. “Why is Freddy trying to come out?”
I sighed and bent down and rubbed my nose against her neck. “My thoughts are putting me in a mood.”
She sniggered softly. “What are you thinking about?”
“About how much I hate every guy you’ve dated and any future ass-wipes that want to mess with you.” I caught her smiling as I moved away from her neck. “Don’t smile.”
She kept smiling anyway, so I went back to her neck and nuzzled her some more. “Says the guy that’s been rubbing me the wrong way the last couple of months texting Kelly,” she finally grumbled. “But that doesn’t matter now. You’re really, for real, ‘my Benjamin’ now when I say that, right? So, it doesn’t matter now, does it?”
I moved away from her neck. “Right. And I could have always been, even before now.”
She cupped my cheek and shook her head with a smile. “You’ve always been my Benjamin. My most favorite person and the safest place I can be in the world. Only now I can say it out loud instead of inside my head, and now those two words hold so much more meaning.”
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