“Sure! Sure thing!” Grimbledung took two bottles of wine. “See you then!” He held the bottles up, waving them back and forth. “Now I gotta go prep the playing field!”
“Sorry about that,” offered Rat.
“Gross.” The serving wench turned and walked out of the shop- Door obliging her. When she got onto the boardwalk, she reached into the backpack and pulled out a bottle. Using her teeth, she yanked the cork out and spat it onto the street. “Males,” she muttered. She looked left and right. One way was the Mora Tau bar and potentially a lot of loud talking accompanied by groping. The other was the Fat Blue Moon Tyre brewery and potentially a lot of loud talking accompanied by groping. “Looks like it’s you and me tonight, Signore Marzemino,” she said to the bottle as she opted to go home instead.
“So what got delivered?” Grimbledung tried again.
“Grimbledung! Are you dressed?” Drimblerod called from upstairs.
“Well sure!” Grimbledung considered that. “You want me undressed?” He did a little hop. “Why pay for the cow when the chickens can come home to roost?”
“I thought you brought clothes for him,” Rat called up the stairs.
Drimblerod came halfway down the stairs then bent over so he could see his partner. “That is an absurd story that I’d rather not discuss right now,” he said to Rat. He jabbed his finger at his partner. “Get up here and put on fresh clothes before I bonk you on the head so hard you’ll think it’s Grundsday.”
“It’s not?” Grimbledung waggled his ears. “The food’s here you know.” He pointed to make sure his partner saw. “I accepted the delivery in a most professional manner.”
“I’ll bet. I’m almost dressed so I’ll carry it up when I’m done. You get up here. Now.”
Grimbledung looked from his partner to the platter, then to the bottles of wine. “You know we ought to send out for some Melonchello because it’s really good for your digestion after you’ve had something to eat and since you have food here already, the odds are really good that we’re going to have something to eat so that means we should have a digestive afterwards especially since we are sure we’re going to have something to eat because it would be rude to let those female folk eat while we watched them and if we ate something we might get the burps and it’s hard to make a move on a female when you’ve got the burps, I think.” Grimbledung waggled his ears. “Or the toots.”
“We’re going to make due with some wine, cheese, meats, and bread, Grim. That and your good behavior.” He waggled his finger to emphasize the point.
“Right, right.” Grimbledung moved to the counter and leaned on it. “Without any Melonchello,” he frowned.
“Just calm down, get dressed, and the evening will go just fine.” He looked at the door. “And make it quick; they’ll be here any time. Right?”
“Right.” Grimbledung saluted then moved to the stairs. “Make way!” He charged up the stairs as his partner moved to one side.
“Good.” He leaned back down. “Rat, I’ll be down shortly.” Drimblerod moved up the stairs out of sight. From the top of the stairs he called down, “And if the gals arrive send them to the back room. We’ll be entertaining there!”
“I don’t think you Gnomes are entertaining anywhere.”[15]
“Grim!” Drimblerod said to his partner’s shut door. “I’m going to make sure the backroom is tidy for the gals. When you get out, carry the platter of food up here.”
“We’re not eating in yon work shoppe?” His partner called out.
There were grunts coming from the room that let Drimblerod know that his partner was actually getting dressed. It was a relief. “No, we’ll chat down there, show them the operation then retire up here to eat.” He waggled his ears. “And such.”
“Whoo hoo!” Grimbledung cheered.
“So hurry up and get the rest of your clothes on.” Drimblerod wanted to make sure that a full accompaniment of clothes would be on his partner- not just a cape. Or just socks. With a shrug he added, “Shoes are optional!”
“Whoo hoo!!”
Drimblerod went down the stairs to make sure Dummy hadn’t made a mess since the last time he had been to the workshop.
It happened.
Often.
Chapter 28
The Days of Their Lives - Past?
“Waiting,” said Rat as Drimblerod came down the stairs and made for the backroom. “Still waiting.”
“Keep up the complete lack of any actual work,” remarked Drimblerod. He braced himself as be pushed around the curtain. There was no telling what he could encounter at any given moment in the workshop. Dummy had taken to starting projects on his own, leaving a wake of destruction in his path. The Great Shelf Building Incident of Moonsday had gotten Dummy relegated to a closet for the rest of the day. When he had been let out, he solemnly promised to never use hand tools without permission. Or listen to suggestions from the Gremlins who had now started coming by on a fairly regular basis. Who, as it turned out, were also the cause of the Great Painting Incident of Thraksday. When threatened with another stint in the ‘Closet of Shame’ (as Grimbledung dubbed it), Dummy had rolled on the Gremlins faster than a Scalosian bug on a hot tin roof. Having a head stuffed with hay and cotton bunting had kept the Gremlins from depositing Dummy at the bottom of the Great Salty River. Just barely.
Drimblerod looked around the workshop. Dummy was sitting in a corner holding a large, several-paged parchment. “Who taught you to read?”
Dummy let go of the parchment with one hand and held it down to his waist.
“Gremlins, huh? Well, that definitely proves they aren’t holding a grudge and aren’t planning on doing any wet work with you.”[16]
Dummy nodded.
“What are you reading, anyway?”
Dummy held up the magazine so that Drimblerod could read the front page.
“Captain Willy’s Whiz Bang?”
Dummy nodded.
“That will rot your brain.”
Dummy tapped his head.
“Well, it will rot your hay, then.”
Dummy shrugged and returned to his parchment.
“We’ll be entertaining a couple of ladies here in a little bit, Dummy.” Drimblerod looked around the workshop. It was actually very tidy. Apparently, Dummy’s attention had been focused on the parchment for the better part of the day. “Willy has you occupied, I see,” he remarked.
Dummy nodded without looking up. He was reading the limericks page - with illustrations!
Drimblerod shook his head as he put away two files- the only tools left out on the workbench, “I have a jousting dummy reading tawdry periodicals, but I can’t get my partner to read a menu”.
Dummy shrugged. He had moved back to the ongoing adventures of Captain Willy- a Dwarf soldier wrongly convicted of killing his commanding officer in a battle against Halflings, who then escaped and joined the Halfling Army.[17]
“Well, enjoy your reading, Dummy,” Drimblerod said as he pushed past the curtain to the front room of the shop.
Grimbledung hopped down the stairs two at a time. “I’m getting the tray up there now, Drim!”
He was, Drimblerod was pleased to see, completely dressed. He had opted for no shoes. “I’ll get the tray if you get the bottles, Grim,” he offered. Drimblerod hefted the tray to his shoulder and moved to the stairs. “We’ll get this all upstairs before the gals arrive.”
Grimbledung nodded and picked up a bottle of wine and tucked it into his pants.
“Well, that’s a sight I wish I could un-see,” said Rat.
“What?”
“You with a bottle of wine shoved down your trousers.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll make that my bottle.”
Rat nodded. “That helps a little, I suppose.”
“Be right back, Rat,” said Grimbledung as he took the two remaining bottles and followed his partners up. When he got to the living area of the shop, Drimblerod was placing two glasses on
the table to join the two that were already there.
“Glasses even. Nice, Drim.”
“Well, we’re not just going to drink out of the bottles, you know.”
“Well, that’s how you’d start a good evening off, I’d think.”
Drimblerod looked at the setting. “I thought I ordered four bottles of wine.”
“She only had these with her.” He pointed at the two bottles with one hand and fished the third out of trousers with the other. “One per is what I figured?”
“One per would be four bottles, Grim.”
Grimbledung winked. “Now we get more each, right?” He took a piece of cheese of the table. “Where are they? I’m starving. Starving, you know.”
“Well, you’re either eating or starving.” Drimblerod also took a piece of cheese off the tray. “There’s no in between from what I’ve seen.”
“That sounds like the start of a song.”
“Do not.” Warned Drimblerod.
Downstairs, the bell above Door jingled several times.
“They’re here!” Grimbledung hopped back and forth. “Whoo boy!”
“Just stay calm, Grim.” Drimblerod put his hand on his partner’s shoulder. Truth be told, he was just as excited since the most beautiful Dwarfess he had ever seen was presently in the front of his shop, waiting to have a meal with him. A meal and possibly more! “Let’s go meet our guests and stay focused what we’re trying to do here.”
Grimbledung giggled. “Oooh! I know! I know!”
“No, Grim. We’re trying to have a nice evening with those two females so that they’ll want to have another evening with us afterwards. So just stay calm and...”
The bell jingled again.
“That’s odd,” remarked Drimblerod. Door usually let people in right away.
“Right, right. Let’s go!” Grimbledung pointed at the stairs. “That-a-way!”
Giddily, the two went down the stairs.
The bell jingled again.
This time angrily.
Just a little bit earlier...
Chapter 29
They Have Dinner at Julie’s – and They Both Kind of Liked It
Not Really...
Akita pushed around the curtain that led to the restaurant portion of the Duck Inn and Dine. As he passed by it, he held it open for Maca. “Right this way.” He had been anxiously waiting outside the Duck Inn and Dine for almost thirty minutes. Passersby gave the usually gruff Constable sideward glances as he stood -and fidgeted - with over a dozen roses in the crook of his elbow.
Maca glided around the curtain, hair moving in wisps in slow motion as she did. The roses were now in her possession.
Since pretty much everyone in town knew they were an item, Akita didn’t get more second looks than the Constable normally got. The second looks Maca got were for her mysterious attractiveness. And, of course because word of her alarming transformation after the robbery at the wand shop.
“Evenin’ all,” said Akita to the room. He received several replies in kind. “Got a table reserved in the corner, Maca.” He motioned to a table set for two. There was a wooden sign on it that proclaimed the reservation in raised letters. “Right over there.”
“Lovely.”
Akita fell in step behind Maca as she made her way to the table. By the time they got to their table, Akita scooted around her and had pulled out her chair, and sat himself, everyone in the establishment had gone back to their own conversations.
Akita leaned toward Maca. “This is nice. I should’a asked you days ago.”
Maca smiled because she knew he had been tormented those days as he worked up the courage to ask her out. “It’s very nice. I’m glad you finally asked.”
Akita leaned back. “Finally?”
Maca winked. “Call it a female intuition.”
“Sure, that’s what we’ll call it.” He cleared his throat. “So about the incident.”
“Well, there’s not much to tell.” Maca put the roses on the corner of the table. “I suppose it all started when I was young.” She smiled. “Well, relatively speaking for Elves, that is...”
Nulu approached the table with a cloth over her arm and a notepad in her hand. “And what shall I start you two folks off with this evening?”
Inside Akita’s stomach tightened. He was hoping for no interruptions in the story to get the night headed in the right direction. Still, it was Nulu. “We get the owner serving us?” Akita grinned. “You short staffed tonight or is there a special occasion?”
“You finally asked her to dinner and I just want to make sure the evening goes off without a hitch.” She looked at Maca and rolled her eyes. “Males.”
“Finally?” He looked at Maca. “More intuition, huh?”
Nulu gave him a warm smile. “We all got it.” She brandished her notepad. “So what’ll it be?”
“I think some red wine and some fruit and cheeses to get us going,” Akita said. He knew that as with (most) Elves, Maca was a vegetarian.
Nulu nodded as she pocketed her notepad. There was no need writing down the simple order. “Coming right up.” She moved off.
Maca reached across the table. “I’m really glad we did this.”
“Finally, right?”
Maca shrugged as she took Akita’s outstretched paw. “At all. I was worried I had scared you off.”
“You scare me off? I figured it was the other way around. Not many female folk are all right with male folk who shed.”
“Well, male folk tend to avoid female folk that burst into flames.”
“So...” Akita cleared his throat again. “Relatively speaking you were a young Elf...”
Maca nodded. “Yes, and my friends and I had wandered out into the forest.”
“Looking for mischief?”
“Just something to do. Young and looking for a little adventure.”
“And you found it, I imagine.”
Maca sat back. “Yes, while we were out...”
Nulu approached the table with a small tray. She placed it on the corner of the table opposite the roses. “Red wine,” she said simply as she placed two long-stemmed glasses on the table. She picked up the bottle and twisted a corkscrew into the top of it. “A nice sweet Malavasia” She popped the cork out of the bottle and presented it to Akita.
Akita took the cork and inhaled deeply. His eyes got large. “Cherry, honeysuckle, spice box...” He paused and smelled the cork again. “... spring flowers even.”
“Sounds delicious,” said Maca.
Nulu nodded. “Oh, it is. Straight from the Villa of Sceriman, out by the Brimstone lava fields.”
“Lava fields?”
Nulu nodded at Akita. “The rich lava soil makes for the best wine.” She poured a little of it into Akita’s glass.
Akita took a sip of the wine. It was cool and sweet in a deep way that was hard to explain. “Wow,” he said simply. “Might need a second bottle of that.”
Nulu poured Maca’s glass then topped of Akita’s. “Well, I’ll get your food first. I’ll be back.”
Akita nodded at Maca after the Trolless had left. “So...” He looked around conspiratorially. “A little adventure,” he coaxed.
Maca put down her wineglass and took Akita’s hand again. “Yes. Me and two friends were out in the forest on an innocent adventure when all of a sudden...”
“Well, this is a nice sight, I must say.” Nulu nodded at the Constable as she placed a wood cutting board with several types of cheese on it. She smiled. “You two make a nice match,” she added as she put a basket of breads and another of cut fruits on the table as well.
“Nice, Nulu.” Akita said, almost testily.
“Very nice, indeed.” Agreed Maca.
“Well, we aim to please.” Nulu looked at the table. “Getting crowded,” she said to no one in particular.
“Now that you mention it...,” began Akita.
Maca smirked.
“I’ll tend to that,” said Nulu “Right, right.
Sorry about that.” She turned quickly and left.
“Ahh” Akita put his other hand on Maca’s sandwiching it between his. “Alone at last.” He licked his lips. “So before any more interruptions, you and two friends were out...”
Maca nodded. “Yes, and we should have had an escort with us seeing as how the forest could be a dangerous place...”
“But when you’re on an adventure,” said Akita.
“Yes, it’s hard to have an adventure when you’re under guard. So you leave them behind.” Maca leaned forward. “So when we ran into a patrol of...”
Nulu, appearing from nowhere, reached across the table and picked up the roses. “Way too crowded on this table.” She slid them into a large vase. “I’ll just keep these in here for you so they’re out of your way while you eat.”
“Thanks!” Said Akita, almost too loudly.
“Sure thing. I’d hate to spoil your romantic dinner.”
“That is a very nice platter you put together,” said Maca as she picked up a piece of dark yellow cheese. It had blue-green mold growing along the rind. “Very nice.” She said again as she nibbled around the rind.
“Thanks. I sent a similar platter over to Drimblerod and Grimbledung earlier to try and help them along.”
“Help them along?”
Nulu nodded at Maca. “They’re entertaining two ladies this evening. Finally, I must say.”
“There’s creatures of the female persuasion that’re willingly interested in Grimbledung?”
Nulu playfully shoved Akita. “And a good looking one that that, Mister. A Dwarfess.”
“And I thought they were more discerning.”
“Dwarves?” Asked Maca, unknowingly feeding the straight line to the Werewolf.
“Females.” Akita laughed.
“You’re terrible. I’ll have you know Constable Akita Finnish, that Mantodea seems perfectly balanced.”
The joviality dropped from Akita. “What did you say?”
A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4) Page 18