“I made you some eggs and some bacon, Grim,” says Drimblerod. “You need a full belly to keep a sharp mind about you.”
“I’d think it would be better to keep a sharp mind inside me. Not sure if my mind outside my skull would do me any good.”
Drimblerod slides a plate across the table.
I climb up into my chair and sit down. The table comes to my nose. “Well, this is going to get annoying before breakfast.”
“Isn’t that right now?”
I nod at my partner as I move to stand in my chair. “I’ve got a week of this?” I pick up a piece of bacon. On the bright side, the slice of bacon is bigger than my head. Nice.
“I’ll find a high chair...”
I raise an eyebrow at my partner as I take a bite of bacon. It’s too big for the entire piece to fit into my mouth. Even nicer.
“... I mean a barstool for you to sit on,” finishes Drimblerod. “For meals and such.”
I nod. My mouth’s too full for anything else. I pick up my fork- it’s practically a garden implement!
“And some appropriate eating utensils.”
Another nod as I scoop some eggs up and into my mouth.
“So do you have a plan?”
I nod at my partner. “Of course I have a plan,” I lie. “I’ve been working on one since yesterday. I want to get this solved as quickly as possible so I can get changed back.” This isn’t permanent, is it?
“Grim, you do remember you’re like this because of that potion you drank, right? You’re like this until it wears out.”
Nope. No idea what he’s talking about. “Sure, sure.” I put more eggs into my mouth.
“Well, hopefully you can figure out who’s the thief before Julie loses any more wands. Each day it takes you to solve this mystery costs her around ten wands.”
So someone’s stealing wands! I knew something was missing. I nod again. “Yep; I’m on the case.”
“Well, finish up and get going. School starts in about an hour but you’ve got to stop by Big Julie’s office to find out which classes you’ll be going to.”
Going to class? I was planning on just wandering around. “I’ve got to go to classes? I was planning on just wandering around,” I say.
“Well, that’s all part of the undercover work. You have to go to where the students are. If you just wandered the halls, they’d realize you didn’t actually go to any classes pretty quick, and then you’d never get any of them to talk to you.” My partner smiled at me. “And you just might learn something as well.”
“What’ve I got to learn?”
“Well, you don’t know that until you learn it, I’d imagine.”
That didn’t make a bit of sense. “Fine, fine. I’m on my way.” I shoveled the last of the eggs into my mouth and picked up the last bacon strip. “I’ll eat this on the way.” I judge the distance then hop out of the chair. “This is most annoying.”
“Well, I’ll have some size-appropriate furniture for you when you get back from school.”
I nodded at Drimblerod. “Good. I’m liable to break a leg otherwise.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Drimblerod pointed at the stairs. “See you on your way even.” He smiled at me. I think he was enjoying this a little too much. “My little Grimbledung, heading off to his first day of school.”
I got to the top of the stairs and looked down. It was like the Steppes of Insanity. What gives with the stairs? The stairs seem to be almost half way to my waist. Each. What a climb this will be getting back upstairs. Down is easy though- I just hop down them one at a time. When I get to the bottom, I decide that tomorrow I’ll take the POOPA. “Tomorrow I’m taking the POOPA”.
“Awww, does Grimmie need to make a poopie?”
I stare at my partner. “Don’t start with me, Drim,” I warn him. He waggled his ears at me. Oh yeah- he’s starting.
Door opens for me- at least I didn’t have to muscle that big thing open. “Thanks Door.” It rattles its catch at me. For what seems to be an extra-long time. I realize it’s laughing. “Don’t start with me, Door.” I look up at my partner. “All right. Now that you two have had your fun, I’m going to solve Big Julie’s problem.”
Drimblerod nods at me and sticks out his hand. For a moment, I think he’s going to shake my hand then I spot the coin. “Here’s a copper in case you want a snack,” he says.
I nod and take the coin. “Thanks.” I turn and start towards Big Julie’s school. I hear Drimblerod call my name so I turn around.
“Play well with others and make good decisions!” He says with a smile and a wave.
Yeah, like that’s going to happen. I give him a special wave of my own. The frown from the lady walking along means she doesn’t approve of my wave. I give her one too. With a gasp, she moves off. Nice. Now to get in character so I can solve this mystery.
I tuck the coin into my pocket and take a calming breath. I’m Grim Noir, and I’m on the case. Now to find Julie...
Chapter 39
Grim Noir – The Case of the Missing Wands!
(Day One) - The Sting
This is absolutely absurd! I wave my arms around. “Someone give me a lift!” I shout again. I feel like I’ve been walking for weeks. WEEKS! And leagues.
LEAGUES!
“Where you going to little fella?” An elderly voice says to me.
I turn and see that old guy from the shop that bought a light wand. A miner or something. “To school of course.” I say to his nose because that’s the only part of his face that isn’t covered by hair or a hat. Why didn’t I get a hat? “I think it’s leagues away still.”
The old man looks up and down the street. Then he looks back at me.
“Well?” I try to coax him into making a sentence. “Wanna give me a lift?”
“To the school? Big Julie’s school?” The old Human says.
Some people! “You know of any other schools around here?”
The miner looks up and down the street. Again. Then he looks back at me.
“School,” I say. “You’re killing me, Miner. Killing me!”
“Nope. That’s the only one I can think of.”
That’s helpful. “No kidding. Hey, old timer?”
A nod.
I wave my arms again. “Can I get a lift?”
Another nod. “Sure, sure.”
He takes me by the shoulders and turns me away from him. Nice! I’ll ride on his shoulders the rest of the way there. “Any time you’re rea...” Suddenly I get kicked. Kicked! Hard. HARD, I tell you! I sail a little bit and then land in a heap. “Hey! What gives?!” I stand up, rubbing my butt which is now throbbing.
“That enough of a lift?” He’s pointing at something behind me. I look over my shoulder. It’s Big Julie’s school and it’s a couple of blocks away. “Or you want me to kick you all the way there?”
I am sure there’s a smile going on under that moustache and above that beard. I’m just sure of it! “No thanks!”
So I hobble my way to Big Julie’s, butt throbbing the whole way like I had a really spicy meal the night before, hoping that old guy isn’t watching. I look back over my shoulder. Yeah, he is. I give him my ‘special wave’ and he finally leaves to do whatever it is he does when he’s not kicking poor innocent kids like me along the streets of Julesville.
As I get to the big double doors, I look at the two empty pedestals. I hope those gargoyles got put back together without too much trouble and make it back sometime soon. With a sigh, I squeeze through the open door on the right. There’s kids moving all over so I push my way through to Big Julie’s office.
Her door’s closed.
I give it a good knock.
Or two.
Nothing.
I give it a good kick.
Lots of time.
The door swings open and Julie pokes her head out. Way above me. Big Julie. “Heya there!” I say with a waggle or two of my eyebrows. She’s a whole heap of woman all of a sudden. Niiiice!
&
nbsp; She looks down at me with a frown.
“You’re a whole heap more woman all of a sudden, you know.” I tell her. Mainly because it’s true. “You’re like the great outdoors.” I add. “Makes me want to go on a hike.” Did I say that out loud?
Now her eyebrows work their way up. Way up. “Excuse me?” Now they’re back down, almost touching in the middle.
“Can’t hear me from down here?” Oh yeah, I might as well try. “Why don’t ya pick me up and then we’ll talk?”
I think I’m getting my wish as she reaches down. But instead of a nice cradling picking up, I get a grabbed by the collar picking up. It’s not the same, let me tell you. Not the same at all. Now I know how a kitten feels. “That’s kinda personal. What gives, Julie?”
She turns me around and narrows those baby greens at me. “How about I expel you? Personally.”
Then I realize she doesn’t recognize me. Or probably doesn’t anyway. Just in case, I let her in the know. “It’s me, Julie!” I whisper as I move my head closer to hers. “Grimbledung!” I waggle my ears at her.
So I’m dropped from about Big Julie shoulder height to the ground as she staggers back. It’s a good thing I’m young and springy or I’d have broken a leg. Or two. “Careful! That’s kid abuse you know!”
Big Julie seems to recover. She grabs me by the front of the collar and yanks me into her office. “Grimbledung!” She hisses.
I make my way to the chair in front of her desk. Unlike last time, it’s a climb to get into it. “So what’d’a’ya think?” I give my ears another workout.
“Land sakes, Grimbledung! You are ADORABLE!”
Dames. They know how to kick you when you’re down. “I’m under cover you know.”
Big Julie sits in her chair. I can’t see her. She has to lean forward to see me over the top of her desk. Now she’s smiling. “You’re as cute as a button on a rabbit’s butt!”
“Listen, Julie. I’m here to do some work.” I look around the room. “Finding clues. Catching perps.” I try to give her a business look. “I’m earning that hefty fee we discussed earlier.”
Now she’s giggling. Dames.
I scoot off the chair. “All right, Julie. Now that you’ve had your fun, what class you want me in while I take care of this problem? I’m looking to have this done before lunch.”
“Lunch?”
I give her a nod as she moves around the desk. “That’s the plan. I got a copper for my celebratory drink burning a hole in my pocket.”
She stops when she gets in front of me. I take a step back so I can see her face. Yeah. She’s thinking about something. I’d wager an entire month’s take from the shoppe that it’s not what I’m thinking about.
“You should go to Potions.”
“Potions?” I ask.
She gives me a nod. “Yes. It’s a nice full class so you’ll fit in with no trouble. Just tell Professor Garibaldis that you’re a transfer and I’m still getting the paperwork taken care of.”
“Garibaldis? Nice. Where’s the class?” I’m ready to get going so that I can make it to the bar before happy morning ends. I’ve got a fighting chance at two drinks for my copper. All I need to do is solve this mystery nice and quick.
“It’s three doors down on the right.” She says at me. She holds up her hand and she’s got some fingers up. “It’s on this side when you go out the door and go that way.”
She jerks her thumb in what is probably the right direction. Unless. Oh yeah, that’s a thought. Unless she’s the thief and she’s embezzling the wands herself. I got my first suspect. Niiiice. I raise the same hand she has up and the same number of fingers. “Got it. Anything else?”
She starts bending down towards me. There a kiss in my immediate future?
Nope.
She pinches my cheek. “You’re as cute as a barrel of kittens.”
Dames.
I start to raise another finger but then decide not to or I’ll never find Garibaldis’ classroom. “Dames.” I say as I leave and go the direction her thumb pointed.
When I get to the door, I lower a finger. Getting there.
When I get to the next door, I lower a finger. How much farther?
When I get to the next door, I lower a finger. I got no more fingers. Is this the door, or is it the next one? She didn’t explain that part. I look around- there’s no kids in the hallway. “Rolton Chips,” I say to the empty hallway. There’s only one way to know if this is right... I reach up and pull down on the latch and yank the door open. As I peek in, I spy Garibaldis there in front of the class. He’s saying something that’s probably important as he points to a smoking vial in his hand.
I shuffle to an empty seat and climb into it. He gives me a look. I give him a wink. Now his look turns sour. I was supposed to tell him something. “Julie said she’s transferring the paperwork for me to take care of.” I explain just like Julie told me to say.
“Julie?”
Right, right- I’m undercover. “Sorry; I mean Big Julie, Garibaldis.”
“Big Julie?” He puts the potion on the table. The other kids snicker. Like I’m the only one here that calls her that. Kids. “Garibaldis?” He adds.
I give him a nod. Maybe he’s forgotten his name or something. “Yeah.”
“Yeah.” He repeats.
I think he spends too much time being a Gila, or whatever it is he is these days when he’s not working on his plan to off Pinky to get Big Julie all to himself. Yeah, I know. It’s my business to know. “So what’s in the potion?” I ask, hoping to help him back on track. I’m helpful that way.
He shakes his head, to clear it I think maybe, then he picks up the vial again. “As I was saying...” he raises an eyebrow in my direction. I look behind me in case someone’s sneaking up from there. Not today. When I look back he’s talking again. About something. “... then it’s not dangerous at all, so you mustn’t skip that step.” Or something. I’m looking around the room deciding who else is going to be a suspect besides Big Julie. There’s lots of different kids in this class. Lucky for me I picked this one- there’s plenty of kids so I can blend in nicely. I look at Garibaldis. He’s still talking about something and pouring two potions together. The kids are doing what they’re supposed to be doing- pouring potions together. I’m on a case, so I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing: looking for suspects.
“Now give it a taste,” I hear the Professor say.
Don’t mind if I do. I look at the table in front of me. Sure enough there’s a vial just like that smoking one he was holding right there in front of me. There’s some other vials and some sprigs of something green and something blue. Garnish, probably. I look at the kid next to me and she’s got his vial up to her lips. Gnomess in the making. It’s not smoking like my vial is. Of course, she probably has to water down her drinks. Dames. I’m a professional. And I’m on a case. I pick up the smoking vial. It’s not cold so that means it has to be safe. I give a wink to the redhead at the table with me “Bottoms up,” I say as I take a swing.
Tastes like peaches.
Chapter 40
Grim Noir – The Case of the Missing Wands!
(Day Two) - The Players
Someone’s calling me?
Someone’s calling me.
Maybe they’ll stop.
Someone’s calling me.
Maybe they’ll stop.
Someone’s calling me!
Maybe they’ll stop.
Someone’s still calling me?
Maybe they’ll stop.
Apparently not.
I sit up.
Why does it feel like someone has punched a hole right through my head? I feel my head to make sure it hasn’t happened. This tiny head is creepy. No holes though. So that’s good.
‘GRIMBLEDUNG!’ comes from outside my door.
My door? Why am I in my room? I was in class listening to Garibaldis talk about something. Something about potions. “I’m awake.” I shout back at Drimblerod before he sh
outs my name again. “I’m awake!” I say for a second time just in case he’s got my name at the back of his throat ready to go.
“Well, you’re going to be late for school if you don’t get a move on,” he says as he pokes his head into my room. I think my condition has given him a father complex. “So get dressed,” he adds.
In a fatherly tone.
I swing my legs off the side of the bed. It looks like it’s a league to the floor and my head’s throbbing. On a bright note, my butt doesn’t hurt that much anymore.
“I’ll be out in a shake.” I give him a look as I make a leap for the floor. “While I’m getting dressed you can tell me what I’m doing here instead of in Garibaldis’ class.”
He pulls his head back out of my room. Seems now he’s not interested in talking.
Thanks, Pops.
I eat breakfast alone. Drimblerod says he has to ‘run the shop’ or something. Eating alone isn’t as much fun as eating with someone else. Still. The food goes down right and my belly’s full. Now to solve this mystery which is now taking twice as long as I planned.
Not good.
Except for my expenses that is. I think for a moment. Not sure what I’ll expense. Maybe a silver coin for that kick. I’ll work it in somehow. I’m smart that way.
Good.
I move to the POOPA and look at the pole. It’s a long way off. And a looong way. I try to judge the distance then look down. It’s a long way down if I miss that pole. A looong way. With a frown I return to the stairs.
I’m sweating when I get to the bottom. “Those stairs are absurd.”
“Well, they’ve nowhere to go but up.” Says my partner. Then he waggles his ears at me. I’m tempted to chuck the apple I’m holding at him. But it’s a snack for later.
Still...
Drimblerod sees me eyeing the apple then him. He takes another couple of steps back. He stops waggling his ears too. “Anything else you want to tell me?” He asks.
A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4) Page 24