A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4)

by Robert P. Wills

  “ ‘Xactly,” agreed Pollux. “You wanna help?”

  Castor shook his head. “I just got put back in one piece.” He sat down. “Now I want to just go sit out in front of that school and just relax for a good year or ten.”

  “Too much excitement?” Pollux moved beside the other gargoyle. “Yer getting’ old, brother.” He nudged him.

  “That’s true and I like it that way. Not getting old is high on my list of things not to do.”

  “What’s on your list of things not to do?” Asked Koza as he walked over. Of the group of ten gargoyles, only the two goats had decided to join Castor and Pollux on their trip to Julesville. “Drawing the attention of nesting birds?”

  “Not getting old,” offered Castor.

  “I know I’d like to get old,” said Koza. “That’s why we’re coming to Julesville for a while.”

  “To sit still,” offered Pollux.

  “To rest up,” said Castor. “And do a lot of nothing for a while.”

  “I suppose I can do that,” said Pollux. “Well, for a little while anyway.”

  Koza grinned at the gargoyle. “Course we two don’t have a nice cozy place to sit like you and your brother have. Think you can find us a nice perch?”

  “Well, if you want to be entertained while you relax, I’d suggest sitting in front of those Gnomes’ wand shoppe.”

  “Which Gnomes?” Koza sat facing the other two. “Gnomes plural?”

  “Well, one was sort of at the battle.” He thought back. “I think he spent most of it unconscious or hiding behind a golem, now that I think about it. He’s got a partner.”

  “Well, that’s one method, I suppose,” said Koza. “Who’s the partner?”

  Castor shrugged. “Another Gnome like him. They sell used wands together.”

  “Used wands?” Koza said with surprise. “And folks buy used wands?”

  Pollux nodded. “They do. Seems they’re pretty successful at it from what I hear. So I wouldn’t worry.” He patted his friend on the shoulder. “I imagine he’s a nice stable Gnome so you’ll get to sit and relax and watch folks walk by. They’ll prolly even be willing to make you a nice stand so your feet aren’t in the mud.”

  “Well, that doesn’t sound so bad,” said Koza. “I’m sure Gafr will appreciate it as well.”

  “No worries, you old goat,” said Pollux. “What’re friends for?”

  It would be well over a century before Gafr stopped teasing Pollux and Castor about whose shop he and his brother were duped into sitting in front of. Koza would go on for another half-century past that.

  “Well let’s just all relax until we get there,” suggested Castor. “I heard we’re going to get there in time for the festivities this afternoon. So let’s all relax so I can enjoy it when we get there. What’re you two trying to do; to wake up the crew with your babbling?.”

  Pollux moved back to the railing and peered over. “Well what I want to do is find...”

  “We’ll do that too,” interrupted Castor.

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.” Deep down, he was also upset with the wanton killing of the shamblers. He wasn’t against hunters or even eating meat- he appreciated the purpose of both quite well. Even though he did neither. It was the wasteful killing of creatures that didn’t sit right with him. He looked up at the full moon as it cast its yellow light down on the plains. It hung low in the dark sky foretelling of a soon-to-happen sunrise. He hoped the hunter wasn’t in town.

  The massive craft continued on a generally straight path for Julesville. It would arrive on time later that afternoon.

  And dock right next to the party that was killing shamblers.

  Earlier at Second-Hand Sorcery...

  Chapter 51

  Shambler? On a Pike?

  Grimbledung waved at the two Humans as they left the shop. “Thanks for shopping at Second-Hand Sorcery,” he called. “And come back when you need another wand.” He turned and looked at Rat. “Is it closing time now?” he hopped back and forth. “It’s practically dark out!”

  Rat nodded. “It’s close enough, I suppose.”

  Grimbledung hopped back and forth. “Ooooh! I’ll get that stinky Drimblerod for sneaking off to the Mora Tau without me.” He punched one hand into the other. “I mean, what kind of partner says they’re going out to take care of official work-related business only to end up at some alcohol-serving establishment for the rest of the day?”

  “Well, you, for starters.”

  “Well, that’s different,” replied Grimbledung. “I’m usually a victim of circumstance.”

  The bell over Door rang as it opened.

  “Ooooh!” Grimbledung hopped back and forth.

  “You should have flipped the sign,” offered Rat. “Now you’re stuck until you deal with these customers that will probably browse the shelves.” With a smile he added: “For hours.”

  “Ooooh!” Grimbledung scowled at Rat. As he turned, the scowl became a smile. “And welcome to Second-Ha....” His voice trailed off as he looked at the four heavily armed Halflings. “... ha... ha... hand sorry, we’re closed!” He finished quickly.

  “Yer sign says your open, kid,” said the lead Halfling.

  The other Halflings nodded in approval. Two repeated ‘kid’.

  “Well, you just can’t trust that sign. I blame upbringing for that. I’m sure that sign’s parents did their best to raise him from a wee ‘no pets allowed’ sign to a full-fledged ‘hours-of-operation’ sign, but you know the story; a sign falls in with the wrong crowd, usually a group of mile markers. Then the next thing you know he’s playing for money in a pinch back suit and listening to some big out of town jasper talk about horse race gambling...”

  “Shut up,” said the Halfling. He put his hand on his sword.

  “That I’d like to see,” admitted Rat. He twitched his whiskers.

  “Shut up, rodent,” said the Halfling. The rest of the Halflings put their hands on their swords. “Your parents here?” He said to Grimbledung.

  Grimbledung looked behind himself. Wondering if his parents were there. He was very relieved they weren’t- they had been dead for quite a long time. “No, thank goodness,” he said as he turned back around to face the Halfling soldiers.

  Rat looked from Grimbledung to the Halfling and back again. “Want me to take this so we can get to the bar quicker?”

  Grimbledung nodded. “All of a sudden, I need to pee.” Without another word, he turned and ducked under the curtain. On the other side, he turned and peeked out.

  “Well, Mister Halfling. If you want me to be quiet, this is going to be a real one-sided conversation.” Rat sat up. “So what do you need?” He spread his furry arms out wide. “You folk looking for a quality used wand? Or four?”

  “We’re looking for a shambler.”

  The other Halflings nodded. They were looking for it too.

  “Well then you should try the livery. Wands is what we have here. Livestock is what they have there.”

  “We’ve already been there,” said another Halfling. He frowned.

  Rat grinned. “Not the most pleasant of Dwarves, is she?”

  The Halfling nodded. “Some of the things she said really hurt.”

  “Shut up!” The lead Halfling punched the other. He turned back to Rat. “So we talked to that vile Dwarfess and she didn’t have no talking shamblers. Said she’d only heard one shambler talk but didn’t know where it was from. Since folks said this shop had a talking rat, we came here.”

  “I can assure you that I have never personally seen a talking shambler.” Rat smiled as a devious thought came to him. He looked over his shoulder at the curtain. He was sure Grimbledung was hiding behind it. He looked back at the Halflings. “I saw a potato stand. Heard a rubber band.” Rat twitched his whiskers. “And I’ve seen a needle that winked its eye. But I be done seen about everything...”

  Grimbledung burst from behind the curtain. He dropped to one knee and sang

 
When I see a Shambler talk.

  What’s that?

  When I see a Shambler taa-aalk!”

  He spread his arms out wide.

  “You people,” said the Halfling. He drew his sword. “I want to know where the talking shambler is, and I want to know now.”

  “Why-eee?” Grimbledung sing-songed. He still had his arms spread wide. He waggled his fingers.

  “Stop doing that, kid,” ordered the Halfling. “That’s your last warning.”

  Grimbledung dropped his arms to his sides then stood.

  “What do you want with a talking shambler?” Rat asked. “Looking to hire him?”

  “Kind of.” The Halfling pointed his sword at Rat. “We’re going to try it, convict it, then stick it on a pike.”

  “Never seen a talking shambler,” said Rat again.

  Grimbledung dropped to one knee. “Want a second verse? Got one all thought up and it mostly rhymes.”

  The Halfling slammed his sword into its sheath. “If you see one, report it to us and you’ll be repaid handsomely.”

  “Fine. But don’t call me handsome,” said Grimbledung. He put his arms out and waggled his fingers. “Hah chaaa!”

  The Halflings turned and left the shoppe without another word.

  “Well, that’s not good, right Rat?”

  Rat shook his head. “Not one bit. I think we should keep my shambler days to an absolute minimum for a while.”

  Grimbledung nodded. “Ooooh!” He hopped to his feet and ran to the sign in the window. He flipped it. “We’re closed! Let’s get to the Mora Tau! We’ve important business there!”

  “I agree,” said Rat. “We need to let Drimblerod know that the Halflings are looking for me”.

  Grimbledung shook his head. “Well, I suppose that too. I meant catching up on the drinking.”

  “No brawls this time.” Rat pointed a finger at Grimbledung. “Not a single punch thrown. Especially with all these Halflings in town all of a sudden.”

  Grimbledung feinted offence. “Me? Who me?” He pointed at his chest. “I just can’t imagine. You must have me confused with some other Gnome.”

  “That’s probably it.” Rat hopped off the counter, scurried over to Grimbledung and ran up his side. He sat on his shoulder. “Let’s go have a nice quiet, non-brawling evening then.”

  “A nice quiet evening? What’s that like?” Grimbledung waggled his ears.

  “You should really try it, you know.” He twitched his whiskers. “Hey, at your size, a regular mug is almost the size of the drinks that Nulu drinks. To scale that is.”

  “Wooo!” Cheered Grimbledung. He scooted out of the shoppe and practically jogged to the Mora Tau Bar and BAR.

  When they arrived (and after he snuck in since he still appeared to be underage), they found Drimblerod and Colossus sitting at a table in the basement room. As usual, all the tables were occupied by a variety of races. There were however, a large number of Halflings present, spread out at several tables.

  Chapter 52

  Gnomes, and Halflings, and... Mary?

  Oh My.

  “Drimblerod!” Grimbledung hopped into the empty chair at the table gingerly. “So this is where you’re hiding out!” He looked at the table. It was covered with slash marks from the barmaid. “Hey! That’s a lot of drinks!”

  Drimblerod toasted his partner. “So how’s it feel when your partner says they’re going to take care of business and disappear for the rest of the day?”

  “Do not answer that,” warned Rat.

  Grimbledung nodded. “My legal counsel has advised me to not answer that question.”

  “Want a drink?” Colossus asked.

  Grimbledung craned his neck to look at Rat.

  “Yes,” suggested Rat. “Two, in fact.”

  “Yes. Two in fact,” repeated Grimbledung.

  Colossus waved at the barmaid and held up two fingers.

  “So how has your day gone?” Grimbledung asked suspiciously.

  “Quite well,” said Drimblerod. He took another sip of his drink. “Got a lot done.”

  “I see that,” said Grimbledung. He looked at Colossus. “How about you, deputy? Lots of law enforcing accomplished on your shift?”

  “Well...” Began Colossus.

  “He’s been keeping me company, Grim. And keeping an eye on the Halflings down here.”

  “I’m a little worried with the number of Halfling soldiers that have shown.” Colossus looked around the bar. “And I don’t just mean down here. I mean in town, here.”

  “They all come together?”

  Colossus nodded at Rat. “They are the Lord High Priest of Halflings’ security contingent. If it’s a full contingent, there’s a hundred of them.” He shook his head. “Not sure why he’d need that many with no hostilities going on.”

  The barmaid slipped two mugs onto the table.

  “Hey Mary!” Said Grimbledung. “You’re looking fine this evening!”

  “Excuse me?” Mary glowered down at the youthful looking Gnome. “We don’t serve minors down here.”

  “No, no! It’s me!” Grimbledung waggled his ears. “See?”

  “That’s not much of an endorsement,” said Mary.

  “It’s all right,” said Colossus. “It’s Grimbledung; he was just undercover at Julie’s school. I can vouch that he’s really of legal drinking age.”

  “Grimbledung?”

  Drimblerod nodded. “Hard to imagine him as a kid, huh?”

  “Not at all what I pictured.” Mary laughed. “That’s sure an epic amount of hair you have there.”

  “Right?” Grimbledung waggled his ears again. “I’m a good looking kid!” He smiled at Mary. “So how’re things?”

  “Better without brawls,” she warned. “Even miniature ones.”

  “See?” Said Rat.

  “Well, I’m on my bestest behavior tonight,” Grimbledung assured her.

  “That didn’t go so well last time,” she said as she added two slashes to the table. “Two more drinks and you’ll have to settle your tab,” she said to Drimblerod. “Sorry.”

  He gave her a nod. “No worries. Bring them on your next pass, along with the tab.”

  The barmaid gave a nod then moved off to tend other tables.

  Rat hopped off Grimbledung’s shoulder and onto the handle of the mug. “It seems, Colossus, that among other things, those soldiers are here looking for a talking shambler.”

  “Talking shambler? I’ve never heard a shambler talk.”

  Grimbledung stood with a smile. He spread his arms out wide and cleared his throat.

  “No singing!” Rat, Drimblerod, and Colossus all said at the same time.

  Grimbledung sat with a frown.

  “Well, that’s what they’re looking for,” said Rat. “If you could find out more details that might be helpful.”

  Drimblerod winked at him. “Well, I’ll keep an eye out.”

  “Sounds good to me,” said Rat.

  “I propose a toast to a quiet evening of drinking,” said Drimblerod.

  “Here, here,” said Colossus.

  “Of course here,” said Grimbledung. “Where else?”

  “Here we go,” said Rat. “I might as well start numbing the senses.” He stuck his head into his drink.

  Mary returned with two fresh drinks for Drimblerod and Colossus. “That’d be four silver.” She wasn’t worried about the Gnomes - or the Deputy for that matter- skipping out on their tab; they were regulars. It was just that Parmerlee had a ten-drinks-per-tab rule that she had to follow.

  Drimblerod reached into his belt pouch and pulled out four silver coins. “I’ll get yours at the end.” He gave Grimbledung a wary glance. “It’s on a sliding scale depending on how things go.”

  Mary took the four coins. She smiled at Drimblerod. “No worries.” She was well aware of the Gnome’s tipping habits and knew that he would do her justice before the end of the night. “Let’s hope for a quiet evening.” She looked around the room.
“ ‘ Course the deck’s stacked against it right now.”

  “We’ll do our part, Mary,” assured Grimbledung. He hefted his mug with two hands to toast her. “Don’t you worry!”

  With an unconvinced headshake, she moved off.

  “Well, I need to run out back and get rid of some drinks.” Colossus stood. “Keep an eye on my drink, will you?”

  Drimblerod was torn. He also needed to use the outhouse. Badly. But he didn’t want to leave Grimbledung alone. Invariably he started a brawl when left on his own. He looked from Colossus to Grimbledung, a pained look on his face.

  “Go pee, Drim. I’ll just sit and enjoy my drink.” Grimbledung waved his hand at his partner. “Shoo.”

  “Well, honestly...” Began Drimblerod.

  Grimbledung startled. “Oh, that’s fine too!” He smiled. “Poop if you have to. I’ll wait here.”

  “Nice,” said Rat.

  Drimblerod shook his head. “No, Grimbledung. That’s not it.”

  “Throw up?” Tried Grimbledung. “Go right ahead, I suppose. But that seems like a waste of good alcohol.”

  “No!” Drimblerod stood. “I’m just worried about you being here by yourself. You usually start a brawl.”

  “I still gotta pee,” said Colossus. “If you ladies are going to take all night...”

  Grimbledung winked at his partner. “I give you my word I shan’t throw a single punch this entire evening.”

  “I’ll keep an eye on things,” assured Rat. “Go pee.”

  “Or poop,” offered Grimbledung with a wink.

  “I’m leaving,” said Colossus. “My back teeth are floating.” He turned and shakily walked to the spiral staircase.

  Drimblerod moved to follow the Halfling. He didn’t walk in a straight line either.

  “So we’re just going to sit and drink then,” said Rat.

  “Not a punch from me,” said Grimbledung. “Don’t you worry.” He picked up his mug. “Besides, I’m way behind here judging how them two made it to the stairs.” He took a deep drink of his ale then appraised the mug. “Niiiice. This thing is massive!”