“That sounds reasonable.”
Pozzuoli wrote down four bedrolls on the list. Just to increase profits. “You need rain gear?”
“Rain gear? What’s that? I don’t think we want to make rain on this trip.”
“No, no. Slickers. Ponchos. Things to keep you dry if it rains.”
“I don’t think it’s going to rain.”
The profit margin on the rain gear was low, so Pozzuoli didn’t press the issue. There was one item however that gave a hearty profit. “Anything to drink?” he asked nonchalantly.
Grimbledung did a little hop. “You betcha! A few casks if you can get them!”
Satisfied, Pozzuoli put the quill down. “So you send the wagon around and I will-a have it loaded up and tied down.”
“Why you going to tie down the wagon?”
“The stuff I put in it.” Pozzuoli was never sure when the unusual Gnome was being serious. “Packing the wagon, that-a part of the service.”
“Really?”
Pozzuoli nodded. It was part of the service, but not free. Loading the wagon had gained him three more silver. Unbeknownst to him, Grimbledung would gain extra rope and a tarp from the deal. Both would end up saving his and his partner’s lives. “Anything else?”
Grimbledung thought over what he had ordered. Nothing seemed to let on where they were going or how long they would be away, or even over what part of the lands they would be traveling. Perfect! “Nope, that’s it, Pozz. I’ll send the wagon over in the morning.”
Pozzuoli nodded at the Gnome. “S’alright.” He put the quill back under the counter.
Grimbledung waved as he opened the door. “See you later Pozz!”
Pozzuoli waved back. “Don’t-a wait so long before coming back.”
Grimbledung closed the door behind him, satisfied the trip was still a secret.
“What’d the Gnome buy?” Pozzuoli’s wife said as he entered from the back room.
“He’s outfitting for a trip.”
“Oh? Where’d he say he’s going?”
“South Jute,” answered Pozzuoli.
“Not much profit in setting up a trip there. Not far at all.” She moved to the counter and looked at the list. “What’s the upsell?”
“Four bedrolls and loading the wagon.” Pozzuoli cringed on the inside- there was a rebuke coming.
“You’re slipping,” his wife of many decades said with a wink. “Not even slickers?”
Pozzuoli watched the Gnome walk past his front window and out of sight. “Not even slickers. Said it wasn’t going to rain.”
“What, ever?”
Pozzuoli shrugged. “What he said.”
“Such a cute little bambino. Put a couple in there just in case.”
Pozzuoli moved to his wife and hugged her. “You softie.”
“On loan.” She kissed her husband. “I’m not that soft.”
Chapter 60
The Road to EternCity
Exactly two days later.
Grimbledung hopped out of bed- he was full sized. “Woo! It’s time to go Drim!” He shouted. “The wagon’s loaded and it’s time to go!”
Drimblerod sat up in bed. He had been both dreading and anticipating the day. On one hand, he was more than ready to be on the way to unimaginable fortune. On the other, he was worried that the two Humans would mismanage the shop while they were away. Twice he had considered just shutting the shop for the month he expected to be away, however the hit they would take in business would at best take four months to overcome. At worst, they would never overcome it and Second-Hand Sorcery would have to shut its doors for good. If he were completely sure of finding the mine, he wouldn’t have worried about the business going belly up- but it was called the Lost Picman’s Mine for a reason. Returning home with nothing to show for it and then losing the business would be devastating. The two Humans were the best possible solution.
“You up Drim?” Grimbledung called as he entered the living area upstairs. “We’ll swing by Nulu’s for some go-bags for breakfast and eat on the way!” He opened the door to the POOPA and slid from sight.
By the time Grimbledung was tromping back up the stairs, Drimblerod sitting at the table. “I’m up, I’m up.” He looked at his partner. “You know, it’s not healthy to see the sun coming up.”
“That’s an old wives’ tale.”
“That’s what I thought. Now I’m not too sure.” He yawned widely. “Is Rat even up and ready to go?”
Grimbledung nodded. “He’s downstairs and hitched to the wagon already.”
“Land sakes, Grim; what’s gotten into you.”
Grimbledung shrugged. “Good old-fashioned greed.”
“Well, I can respect that.” Drimblerod stood. “Will Nulu have coffee for us as well?”
“She said she would.”
“Is Flora working this morning?” Drimblerod cringed. It was far too early for any sort of drama in the streets.
Grimbledung shook his head. “No. Nulu said something about avoiding bloodletting in the streets or something.”
“Well that’s a relief.” He moved to the POOPA door. “Meet you downstairs.”
Grimbledung nodded. “We’ll be on the wagon and ready to go, partner!” Grimbledung slid down the banister and half-ran, half-stumbled to the door. “See you in a little bit Door.”
Door rattled its catch.
“I told Dummy to keep an eye on things, but help him out if he needs it.”
Door rattled its catch again.
Grimbledung left the shop and hopped onto the wagon. RatShambler was harnessed up. And asleep.
“Rat! You ready to go?”
RatShambler startled awake. “You remember that the Halflings are out hunting Shamblers, right?”
Grimbledung nodded. “I remember.” He waggled his ears. “And I have the perfect disguise.”
“No, I don’t think...” Began RatShambler.
Grimbledung stood and brandished his wand
Shambler Verdes!
Transmutis Completes
Ovibos moschatus!
He intoned.
“What?” Asked RatShambler as a golden light enveloped him. “I really don’t think...”
“You’re fine, Rat,” assured Grimbledung as the transformation took place.
“I don’t feel fine,” said RatOx. “I don’t feel fine at all.” He smelled the air. “And what’s that stink?”
“I believe that’s you.”
“That’s me?” RatOx sniffed the air again. “I smell horrible?”
“Well, sure.”
“You made me something that smells horrible?”
Drimblerod walked around the shop and clambered onto the wagon. He sniffed. “What’s that smell?”
“I blame Grimbledung,” said RatOx.
“Well whatever you’re eating, you need to stop.” Drimblerod stuck out his tongue. “That’s gross.” He looked forward. “What in the lands is that?”
“That’s Rat, of course,” said Grimbledung. He gave a wink. “I got him a disguise so the Halflings won’t kill him or us.”
“But the smell might,” offered RatOx.
“Well, let’s get going. Maybe a breeze will help,” said Drimblerod. “Let’s get going Rat.”
“Ox,” corrected Grimbledung.
“I’m not calling him that. I think those things are mythological anyway.”
“There isn’t a gear in him. I’m sure of it.” He smiled. “Remember when I whipped up that steam powered ostrich?”
“No, I can’t say I do. That’s the most absurd sounding thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Must have been with a different partner then.” Grimbledung waggled his ears. “Right RatOx?”
“I’m just going to call him Rat; not some farcical beast you just made up.”
“Thank you.”
Grimbledung smiled. “Fine, fine. Let’s get going. Fortune awaits, you know.” He rubbed his belly. “But first Nulu’s place for some breakfast.”
<
br /> “Sounds good to me.” RatOx started walking.
Drimblerod looked into the back of the wagon. “You sure that’s enough supplies and gear?”
Grimbledung nodded. “Sure it is.”
“And you told Pozzuoli exactly what sort of terrain we’d be traveling across and how long we’d be gone?”
“Yeppers. And he said that’s all we needed. He packed it himself. Personally, even.”
“To get there and back again?” Drimblerod leaned back on the seat. “Maybe we should inventory it first, just to be sure.”
“Old Pozz is a professional, Drim. Stop worrying.”
Drimblerod nodded. “If you say so.”
“I say so.” Grimbledung waved at Nulu as they approached. “Bottom of the night top of the morning to you Nulu!”
“Morning, gents,” said Nulu. “It’s early you know. Early.”
The wagon rolled to a stop beside her.
“The second early bird gets the cheese,” said Grimbledung.
“It’s too early, Grimbledung,” warned Nulu. “Take your go-boxes... and...” She sniffed. “What is that smell?”
“It’s me, Nulu, sorry,” said RatOx.
Nulu shook her head. “Oh dear. Well, be off with you.” She handed a largish box to Drimblerod. “Food and hot coffee await.” She sniffed again. “And be quick about it; folks are going to be eating their breakfast soon you know.”
“Thanks Nulu.”
“You sure that’s all you need?” Nulu asked as she looked at the contents of the wagon.
Grimbledung nodded. “The shoppe is taken care of. We’re all packed and ready to go. We just got some hot breakfast and coffee. We’re set.”
“Peek in on the place, will you, Nulu?” Drimblerod asked.
“Sure thing, Drimblerod.” Nulu shook her head. “You’re both nuts. You know that?”
RatOx nodded.
“Pushaw!” Grimbledung waved over his shoulder as the pair left town. “What could possibly go wrong?”
After their first week in the shop (which was mostly successful), Semfeld and Liverioso stole it, thanks to Chéri.
The entire shoppe.
The End
Right about lunchtime that same day…
“So they left this morning?” Flora took a deep breath. She exhaled slowly. Through clenched teeth. “To find the Lost Picman’s Mine?”
Nulu nodded at the Gnomess. Even though she was at least four times her weight, she didn’t make eye contact with the Gnomess. “Yes, I suppose they did.”
Flora took a deep breath. Then another. She stared at the ground.
Nulu waited patiently as the Gnomess mulled over recent events.
Finally after a long moment, Flora looked up at Nulu. “Well, I really hope Grimbledung makes it back safely,” she said.
“That’s really good to hear,” said Nulu, relieved.
Flora nodded. “So I can kill him.”
The End
CAN Drimblerod and Grimbledung find the Lost Picman’s Mine?
WILL Flora actually kill Grimbledung, or does she have something worse in mind?
SHOULD Pinky make an honest woman of Big Julie and have a double wedding with Colossus and Cheri?
FIND OUT in the electrifying continuation of Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shoppe- Book 5: Grimbledung and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Mine.
Coming early 2016
~~~~~~~
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If you enjoyed this story, please take the time to leave a review at Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk.
And if you haven’t yet, you can review the first three books in the series. You did read those first right? Right?!
Review Book 1:
On Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. Or on GoodReads.
Review Book 2:
On Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. Or on GoodReads.
Review Book 3:
On Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. Or on GoodReads.
About them Illustrators
Daniel Reuben “Roo” Young is another talented artist that is now part of The Fling. Roo’s work centers around video game character conceptual art, but thanks to his association with Rio and Nikki, has been guilted into supplying sketches of RatShambler and Mink the Minotaur and even a very-much-improved flying barge.
Maybe he needs to reassess his life choices.
For more examples of his work and (a chance to purchase your own!) please visit:
www.reureuillustration.tumblr.com
Rio Burton is at it again. When it comes to drawing the Gnomes- she’s on it. To view her excellent work, please visit her site on Inprnt.com HERE or follow her Facebook page HERE.
Sara Allen is a new edition to the unfortunate artists forced to illustrate for Robert. Lots of talented artists running around the clan. By marriage not blood, which is why Robert’s sketches are easy to spot. Please give Sara’s art a look and follow her HERE on Facebook. Sara also drew the wonderful cover art for Apple Declined, a religious post-apocalyptic science fiction story available on Amazon HERE.
About the Author
(Robert in his natural habitat)
Robert P. Wills is a newly retired U.S. Army, Chief Warrant Officer Four. He and his long suffering wife have retired to Kissimmee, Florida where they are spending far too much time walking around the various theme parks in the area.
Except Sea World.
The employees there tend to yell at Robert for petting the dolphins. At the dolphin petting pool. No, he doesn’t understand it either.
He plans to continue his writing antics with several books in the works. Book five in his wildly popular Tales From a Second Hand Wand Shop series, Grimbledung and the No Good, Terrible, Horrible Mine, will be published in early 2016 with Book 6- It’s the Election, Stupid moving along with a publishing date in late 2016. Along with unstable Gnomes, his rollicking -violent- pirate story The Sailings of Pirate Nonn should be ready for publishing by mid-2017.
Unless he is eaten by a shark first.
His inspirational, post-apocalyptic science fiction story Apple Declined is available now on Amazon HERE.
Other Stories by Robert P. Wills
Fantasy
Next in this series are:
Book 5- Grimbledung and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Mine (early 2016)
Book 6- It’s the Election, Stupid (late 2016)
Book 7 - Killing Grimbledung (late 2017)
Book 8 - Close Encounters of a Grim Kind (mid 2018)
Horror
Diary of a Madman- The Haunting of Terrance Brushwood. Young Terrance is worried he is going crazy. No one else is seeing the things he is. Are they in his mind? His doctor thinks so. This is a 5,000 word short available on Amazon. Suitable for ages 13 and up due to language.
Easy Street Unpaved- A Vampire’s Change of Fortune. Hugh has been a vampire since the early days of the Jamestown colony. He has seen fortunes come and go throughout the centuries. None of that will prepare him for what happens to him next. Suitable for ages 16 and up- Hugh isn’t a friendly vampire. This 20,000 word short available on Amazon as a prologue to a three-part series; Hugh – ‘Vampire’; ‘Hunter’; ‘King’. Coming in late 2017. If it goes well, the following three books Hugh – ‘Emperor’; ‘God’; and finally ‘Damned’ will finish up this ten-thousand year saga.
Adventure
The Sailings of Pirate Nonn. Pirate Nonn and his crew sail the Caribbean in search of treasure. Ruthless and cunning, Nonn and his crew are in search of a missing treasure with Her Majesty’s Navy in pursuit. This story is suitable for ages 14 and up due to violence. Nonn isn’t a loveable pirate. Coming mid-2017.
Science Fiction
Apple Declined. Earth is dying. In a last ditch effort to save humankind, probes have been sent to search out viable planets for colonization. Several are found that will support a portio
n of Earth’s inhabitants- Humans will continue to live, but scattered across 40 light years of space. Then a planet is found that will accommodate everyone. The only problem is that Arcturus already has an indigenous population. A peaceful one where their version of Eve declined the apple; the planet has no wars, no violence, no military. Now Earth has set their sights on this paradise.
For more information visit www.RobertPWills.com online or his Amazon page amazon.com/author/robertwills.
And now for something completely different...
IT’S- A Brand New Series!
Sweets Finnegan-
Liaison Officer for the Conglomeration of Planets
Book 1: The Taming of the Crew
Sweets Finnegan, Liaison Officer of the Conglomeration of Planets. Forced to accept a commission, assigned a disgruntled crew, and issued a newly re-commissioned (AKA recently crashed and pieced back together) ship, his five-year (unless it gets extended involuntarily) mission is to bully strange new worlds, seek out new races and new civilizations.
To boldly invite them to join the Conglomeration of Planets!
Or else.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Greetings and salutations,” said Sweets hesitantly. He wasn’t sure what to think of the heavily armed natives that had come to meet his ship. They seemed good natured, but his extensive experience with extraterrestrials had taught him that good-natured natives could become caldron-boiling, head-chopping natives with little or no provocation.. Especially what appeared to be pre-Iron Age natives who had most likely never seen anything bigger than a bird fly, or seen races that were as different as the Humans were from the indigenous four legged, four armed creatures standing before him.
A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4) Page 41