by T. K. Rapp
When I finally spotted it, I saw the most amazing thing ever. There was a momma bear and her cub. Damn I wanted that cub. Len could see it in my eyes, but he warned me to stay away, ‘The momma will eat you alive. So you stay inside until they’re gone.’”
“Did you listen to him?”
“Hell yeah.” She laughs, “He and I may have argued a ton as kids, but I never doubted he took care of me.”
“Don’t all brothers and sisters?” I challenge.
“He was always looking after me, and telling me what to do, even when I didn’t want to hear it. When I was about ten, Lennox knew I had a crush on this guy, and he knew how badly Jett tortured me over it.”
And there’s the reason she hates my brother.
“He told me Jett probably liked me, but it didn’t make any sense to me. That’s when he gave me his philosophy on the boy-girl dynamic. He told me when I found a guy worthy of me, he would treat me like a princess, he’d tell me how beautiful and special I am. And he’d do everything in his power to never hurt me. A few months later, when he died, that piece of advice stuck with me. I was almost eleven, but it was the most real conversation I ever had with him. I carry that, and him, with me every day.”
She reaches into her purse and pulls out her phone. When she separates the protective sleeve from the device a small, worn out image reveals itself. She runs her thumb over the image briefly before she hands over a school picture of Lennox. Faith’s smile lights up when she talks about her brother.
“Was this the last picture taken?”
“Yeah, his junior year. Read the back.” She nods her head at the image in my hand.
I flip the image over and read the smudged inscription written in messy writing, but the message is unmistakable.
Hey Kiddo, Always remember you are worth every ounce of effort. Love, Lenny
“Lenny?” I ask before reaching out to hand it back to her. “People really called him that?” I don’t recall anyone calling him anything other than Lennox, but then again, he was older than me.
“I was the only person who called him by his nickname. Actually, he hated it, but he let me get away with more than he ever let anyone else.”
I laugh at her admission. “What about your folks?”
As she reaches out to slip the picture from between my fingers, our fingers touch briefly and her eyes snap to mine as a hint of red comes to her cheeks.
She clears her throat before she answers, but her voice cracks when she speaks. “Nope, not even them.”
“I was a freshmen, so I never got to know him. I know Abby said he was a good guy,” I offer.
“He was a great guy,” she corrects with a smile as she tucks the picture back in its safe place. The phone clicks into its holder as she looks up at me and bites the corner of her lip. “I haven’t talked about him in a while.”
Not with Brad?
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “There are times I miss him so much, and it feels like it happened yesterday. Other times, I feel like he’s still here. I pretend he lives in another state, working as some hotshot lawyer or something with a beautiful wife and three amazing kids. And of course he named the girl Faith, after me.” She forces a laugh as she finishes. She appears so young and vulnerable; I like this side of her. I think I like all sides of her.
“I’m sorry,” are the only words that come out. What do you say to someone who is baring so much? I want to reach out, to hold her or offer some sort of comfort, but I’m attached to my balls, and I’m pretty sure she’d rip mine off.
“I’m not.” She puts her drink down and gets a serious look. “Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin. Go!”
“What?” I laugh at the sudden change in conversation, but not quite following the question. “What do you mean?”
“Which band to you think is a bigger musical influence?”
I shake my head and laugh, finding the sudden shift in conversation confusing. “Are you kidding me? You can’t compare the two.”
“Fine then, pick one. Who’s your favorite?” She crosses her arms, and I have to raise my eyes to her to avoid being caught staring at her chest.
“Pink Floyd. What about you?”
“Led,” she answers without hesitation.
I look at her and throw one out. “The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?”
“Hey, this is my game,” she argues with a smile. “I ask the questions.” She squints her eyes and thinks for a moment before throwing out another. “The Rolling Stones or The Beatles?”
“You can change the order, Faith, but doesn’t make it a different question,” I point out with a laugh.
“Yeah, but now I’m asking.” She leans forward and throws up a hand. “So?”
“The Rolling Stones.”
“The Beatles,” she answers quickly, and it’s pretty clear this is something she’s thought about before.
“How did we go from talking about your brother to this game?”
She cocks her head to the side and looks around before finally answering, “It was a game Len would play with me. Thought it was a fun way to expose me to ‘good’ music. He always warned me there was no way his little sister was going to be a pop star junkie.” She’s quiet for a moment before she continues. “You know, I like talking about him, and I don’t get to do it too often, so thanks for listening.”
“Thanks for talking.”
We stare at each other for a moment too long, and she breaks away, looking back to the last sketch. “Do you think he’ll like these?”
“He’d be a fool not to,” I confirm as I finally take my eyes off her. “I’ll tweak the last one in the morning before sending it over to him.”
Faith notices the clock and stretches. “I better head out. I have an early meeting, and I can’t show up with bags under my eyes.”
“I’m sure you’ll look as beautiful in the morning as you do now.”
Her eyes are wide, and it’s almost as if she’s stopped breathing. I don’t know where the words came from, but I feel like I might have gone a little too far with that one.
A text comes through from Jett, allowing me to break the awkwardness. He’s checking on me, and I laugh, holding it up. “Mom’s asking where I’m at.”
She sees Jett’s name and laughs. “Nice, then you can walk me out.”
We gather all of our stuff, and I shut off the lights behind us as we leave. She waits with me while I lock the doors, and we continue walking side by side until we reach her car. With everything put away on the passenger seat, she walks back to the front of the car where I’m standing and extends her hand. “Thanks again, Trey.”
Her warm hand in mine fits perfectly, and we hold on longer than necessary, both of us with our eyes locked on them.
Would she hit me if I pulled her to me and kissed her right now?
Before I can give it much consideration, she lets go of my hand and leans forward as if to give me a hug but stops herself mid-lunge.
“For everything,” she adds with finality.
Our gaze breaks, and I wonder if that’s my cue to take the lead. But there’s a faraway look in her eyes, and I want to know what she’s thinking, but I don’t ask. As Faith turns to walk away, I reach out for her hand and give it a small squeeze in hopes she will turn to me again.
My lips quirk in a lopsided smile before I speak. “Anytime.”
Slowly, she slips her hand from mine and nods before walking away. I miss the connection the second it’s broken.
Chapter 20
Topher, a guy from my hometown, called yesterday to let me know that he was going to be in town. He’s visiting Denver with his fiancée and some others I used to know. I have so much going on, but when I tried to tell him that, he pushed until I finally caved. I figured I might as well, since I’d probably need to get out after presenting everything to Cavette the other day. He’s not quick in making decisions, so we’ll see how things turn out.
It’s Friday night, and I find myself standing
in front of Wired Spirits waiting for everyone to show up, when all I want to do is go home.
Jett already went inside to meet Cayenne - Cheyenne. Shit, I need to remember her name, but it’s hard when Jett calls everyone by the stupid nicknames he gives them.
“Holy shit, you showed!” I turn to see Topher with his arm around a petite blonde who’s wrapped on his arm like a vine. “I thought for sure you were going to bail.”
“Thought about it,” I answer before giving him a single-armed hug. “How ya been, man?”
“Not bad. Trey, I’d like you to meet Gabby, my fiancée.”
She dips her chin as her cheeks flush but steps forward to take my hand. She seems very timid, completely opposite of Topher.
“Congratulations,” I say to Topher, before I look back to her. “Are you sure you know what you’re getting into?”
She laughs and relaxes into him when he wraps his arm around her. “Yeah, I think I’ll keep him.”
Topher and I graduated from high school together, but the other two guys with him, I recognize, but they were younger than us. I’m willing to bet they know my brother. “Ready to head in? Jett’s already here, hopefully he got a table for us.”
“No shit, Jett’s here?”
“Didn’t I tell you that he moved out here?”
“Must have slipped your mind when we talked for all of thirty seconds yesterday.” He slaps my back and walks past me into the entrance gripping Gabby’s hand.
Pushing our way through the modest crowd, we find Jett lounging in a booth with Cheyenne whispering in his ear. He sits up and greets everyone, and I was right, he knows the other two guys. Cole and Tristan, as it turns out, were a year older than Jett, but they played soccer together. He turns and points to Cheyenne and introduces everyone to Cayenne, his girlfriend - a term I haven’t heard him use - ever. He looks at me, and I raise my brow in question to which he simply shrugs. It’s been less than a week.
Cheyenne, for her part, beams up at him, and it’s obvious she’s never heard him refer to her as that either.
Several of us drag some chairs over to accommodate everyone as introductions are made, mainly the women to the rest of us. The music playing in the bar is turned up, so everyone is competing with the noise and each other to be heard. Turns out Topher and Gabby came out here for a final hurrah before the wedding and got a few of the guys to come along with their girlfriends. Sitting with everyone all coupled up is a bit annoying so I excuse myself to grab a drink from the bar. I could wait for the waitress to show up, but I need some air.
When I walk up, I spot Alyssa, the ball-shrinking-voiced bartender, whose smile grows the closer I get to the bar. Fortunately, I’m standing at the other end, where someone else is ready to take my order. I ask for a whiskey and Coke and turn to see the crowd in front of me when Topher approaches.
“Did you see who walked in?” He looks over his shoulder and nods his head toward the entrance but I don't see anyone. “Isn’t she a girl Jett tricked? Told her you had a thing for her?”
“What girl? Who did I have a ‘thing’ for?” I follow to where he’s pointing, and my eyes land square on Faith.
What. The. Fuck?
I try to absorb the little bit of information he doesn’t realize he gave me. Another piece of the ‘I hate the Millers,’ falls into place. “He told her I had a thing for her?”
Topher starts laughing. “Yeah. He found out she had a huge crush on you. One of her friends had gotten mad at her, you know how girls are, and told Jett. She’d gotten him in trouble during class one day, so he got back at her. Really, I think he was pissed off because he liked her and she pretty much told him to fuck off.”
“What did he do?”
“Oh man, it was epic. He saw her walking home and told her he knew about her crush and she got upset. But then he told her not to be mad, because you liked her, too. He had this whole thing planned out. She was supposed to wait in the woods for you to meet her so you could tell her how you felt, only you’d never show, because you didn’t know who she was.”
By this time, he’s laughing and waving my brother over to fill in the gaps.
“What’s so funny?” Jett asks with a laugh. I’m the only one not laughing.
“Topher was filling me in on a joke you played on a girl when you were a kid.”
“What joke? I played lots of ‘em.” He shrugs as he takes a chug of his beer.
I point toward the entrance, and he follows, but it’s obvious Jett doesn’t recognize anyone in that direction. He’s looking at us, waiting for someone to explain to him who we are gawking at.
“What was that name you had for her?” Topher asks through his laugher, though it’s not as hard as it was.
“Doubt,” I mutter, looking at my asshole brother.
“She’s here?” Jett still doesn’t see her as he surveys the area, but his curiosity is killing him.
“Doubt! That’s right.” Topher wraps an arm around my brother and starts pointing near the entrance. “Okay, look over there hot brunette in the bluish-black shirt with the jacket on… just walked in.” Jett’s eyes finally land on her and grow wide with recognition.
No sooner does he recognize her, she turns in our direction and find all three of us gaping at her - Topher and Jett laughing.
She still too far away for me to read any expression, but her body has gone completely rigid.
“Let’s go say hi,” Topher pipes up with Jett agreeing.
“Why don’t you leave her alone? I get the feeling she wants to have fun, and not have two assholes ruin her night.”
“I could make her night.” Jett shrugs.
What a dipshit.
She says something to her friends and starts to head toward us with her confident stride, and I can feel my pulse quicken. Topher and Jett squirm, neither knows she and I have forged a friendship that isn’t necessarily obvious, so I can tell they are rethinking everything they’ve assumed about her.
“Hey, how’s it goin’?” she says to me and smiles.
“Not too bad. You remember Topher and my brother Jett. Guys, you remember Faith.” I look at my brother and cock my head to the side. “Weren’t you saying something about you making her night?”
Faith laugh-coughs at that and Jett, who is giving me the death stare, recovers quickly and is the first one to speak up. “Wow, you look great, Doubt.”
“Ah, yes, and I can see you haven’t changed a bit.” She nods at him. Jett takes it as a compliment, which causes me to laugh at his expense.
“Want to join us?” he asks, and I think he really means it.
“Thanks, but no. I’m here with friends, but I wanted to come over and say hi.” She smiles at me and raises her brow before turning away.
“Boo,” Jett pouts, walking with Topher back to our table. “You should come hang at the cool table.”
Faith and I are both staring at him as he disappears, neither of us moving away. “Does he know he sounds like an idiot, or does he really think he’s cool?”
“Excuse me?” I ask over the music playing.
She leans in, and my hand touches the small of her back as she repeats herself into my ear. I notice she shivers ever so slightly, and I know it’s not because she’s cold. Hell, Faith is wearing a parka compared to all the other women here in their short skin-tight dresses. Not that I’m complaining.
I lean back and smile, taking her in and notice her cheeks are flushed. “Nope. He’s an idiot. You look nice.”
“Thank you.” She smiles. We stand side by side, as people passing by knock us around trying to get to the bar.
“Did you end up sending Cal any of the ideas I showed you?”
She sits on the barstool behind her, and I follow. Faith nudges my arm, so I look at her and narrow my eyes pretending to think it over. Finally I smile. “Of course I showed him.”
“Really?” she beams.
“I’m sorry.” I turn to flag the bartender down. “You want something to drin
k?”
She orders a beer and resumes her position. “Thanks.”
“It’s just a beer.” I laugh.
“No, for listening to me and letting me share my ideas with you.”
The bartender sets the beer behind us, and I pick it up and hand it to Faith.
“It’s no problem. What are friends for?”
It’s not a fitting description for whatever this is, but I suppose it’s better than nothing.
“Is that what we are?” It’s like she read my mind.
“I thought so. I mean, hell, we’ve been on a date and you know…” I give her a lopsided grin because we both know. “I think we’re only a few late nights from making friendship bracelets for each other, aren’t we?”
She laughs, nodding her head in agreement. “I suppose we are. But don’t tell Jett, because then he’ll want in our secret friend club, and your brother is still a tool.”
“I don’t blame you; he is an idiot, as we’ve already covered.”
She has no clue how much I actually mean it. Granted, he was only a kid when he played his joke on Faith, but the idea he could be so cruel is disappointing.
“When do you think you’ll hear back from Cal?”
“Well, if it’s anything like the last time he had to make a decision, could be this time next week.”
She clinks her beer bottle to my glass and laughs because it’s true. He doesn’t seem to be in a rush to do anything, but when he wants something done, he wants it yesterday.
“Meeting anyone tonight?” she asks before chugging her beer.
She chews her lip nervously, and I can’t help but play on that.
“Eh, ya know, I have this stupid open policy with my imaginary girlfriend who lives in another state. Helps keep the crazies away. Why, you interested?”
Her jaw drops slightly at my jab, but plays along. “Don’t you wish. No, I was going to set you up on a blind date with a friend of mine.”