by Berry, Kitty
I am woken by another nightmare. This time it’s the spring of 2007 and I am a junior in high school. Ryan usually ignores me during the day and finds me at night but Robert and my mother are out for the day and Ryan knows it. He has two guys over so I figure I’m safe. But I should know better than to ever think I am safe in this house. By now I am counting the days till I can leave for college, I am already planning on going away, far away. Maybe I’ll go to California and put the space of the country between us.
I am in my room listening to a new CD when Ryan and his friends come in. I assume he wants something from me, like for me to cook them food or ask me for money so they can go score some drugs but he has that look on his face that I know all too well by now. “Show time” is all he says and he lunges at me. He slams me down on my bed and has my shirt over my head and my pants down before I can even react enough to protest. His two friends are standing at the foot of my bed and I can’t understand why they’re not helping me. When they start cheering him on saying, “Give it to her man. Fuck her good” I know why. One of them says, “Get her ready for this” and he takes his erection in his hand and starts pumping it while Ryan begins to assault me. He does it harder than ever before trying to show off.
Just as his friend is saying, “Get out of my way” and about to climb on top of me we hear a car pull into the driveway. The boys run from my room but at the door Ryan turns back and says, “Until the next time we’re alone.”
I can feel the pain in-between my legs from the harsh assault I just withstood but the embarrassment of having that done to me in front of his friends is even worse. I lay in bed and cry while I rub myself trying to get some relief from the pain.
I wake up breathless with a start to find Damian sleeping next to me and I remember our time making out for hours before drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms. The aching is still there in my vagina and I realize it’s not the same pain caused by Ryan years ago. This pain is a longing. I am swollen and wet and in need of something I have never had before, I suspect I need an orgasm, a good long mind shattering orgasm.
I have never allowed myself to masturbate or have an orgasm, to feel the sweet sensation of the build-up and release. I moan in frustration and Damian stirs next to me. I think it’s time to move this relationship toward activities with more gratifying endings and I am planning on telling him that when he wakes up.
Unfortunately when he awakes he says he needs to tell me something and I forget all about my aching lady parts and a hard ball begins to grow in the pit of my stomach. Is he going to tell me that he’s married and his wife will be home tonight so we need to end this before it even got started? Maybe he’s going to confide in me that he’s really gay and was just using me as his beard. Or maybe he’s going to tell me the truth; he doesn’t want to be with me. He turns me to face him and gently kisses my bruised lips and we both wince slightly.
“Too much making out last night, huh? Your lips are puffy” he teases.
“Yours too” is all I can manage in reply as tears are threatening to fall.
Damian tells me that this deal he’s working on is not going his way and he needs to go to California until Sunday. He asks if I’ll be okay here while he’s gone and he promises to Face Time with me. I tell him I’ll be fine, I’ll be busy with this apartment and then I have graduation on Sunday. He says he’ll try to be back for the graduation, he gives money to the school and was supposed to be there. He tells me he can care less about that but wants to be there to watch me get my diploma. I tell him its fine, my dad’s coming and I’ll have to spend time with him anyway.
“I’d like to meet him. If I’m back I’ll take you both to dinner, okay?”
“Sure, but don’t rush back just for that. I’ll be fine. My own mother isn’t even coming”
“What’s up with that?”
“Don’t ask. Not now, please. It’s all part of the horrid story of my life that has left me with scars I can’t even think about let alone share with you yet. I’m sorry, I’m trying, okay?”
Damian shakes his head as we clamber out of the bedroom in search of coffee and Damian makes one of his magic calls that makes it appear on my doorstep along with muffins and juice this time.
We eat together and then Damian checks the time on his phone, he has to pack and head to the airport. He says he’ll miss me and that I should behave myself. At that command I look at him questionably.
“I heard the way you moaned this morning. With the way we’ve been kissing and not finishing the deal I’m not surprised you’re as frustrated as me. I take it you’re not accustomed to delayed gratification?”
“What? Uh, no…I. I mean I’m…I wasn’t. Oh, just forget it. Wait, you’re frustrated?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe. I’m not accustomed to foreplay for fun but with you it’s been well worth it. But I did want to talk to you about doing something more for both of us but now I guess we’ll have to wait till I get back. I won’t crack one off if you promise not to either. Deal?” he asks as he gives me his pinkie finger to wrap mine around to seal our promise. I smile and promise before we kiss on it.
I’m sad that Damian won’t be sleeping with me tonight. I know I have only had him in my bed with me for a few nights but I have never slept through a whole night in this apartment without him and I don’t want to. I think about asking him if I can go with him but I know that’s not possible nor do I want to scare him off by forcing too much too soon between us.
After Damian leaves I call Leslie and we schedule time to work out our set for later tonight before we go on then I head out to get paint for the living space. I decide on crisp taupe for the wall color that will be carried out throughout the living space and the kitchen area. After my purchase I head back to drop the paint off to the guys to find Pete at the apartment working on the floors, he’ll have the floor done by the end of the day but the painting can’t happen until tomorrow once the floor is done. Once he has the floor completely laid out I won’t be able to walk on it until tomorrow so I won’t be able to sleep at the apartment tonight. Not knowing what to do I follow my first instinct and call Damian but he doesn’t answer, he must be up in the air so I leave him a message.
“Hey Day, it’s me, Sydney. You must be in the air. I hope you have a safe flight. Listen, um, can you please call me when you land? I have a little problem. Thanks. Um, talk to you later. Bye.”
I grab my duffle bag with my costume and makeup for tonight and another bag that I fill with pajamas, my toothbrush and a change of clothes for tomorrow. I thank Pete on my way out and tell him I’ll see him tomorrow.
“Do you have a place to stay for the night?” Pete asks.
“I think I’m going to stay at Damian’s if I can get him. If not I’m sure Alex wouldn’t mind having a guest for the night.”
“Well, you have my number if you get stuck. I don’t have plans for the night so call me if you need a place to stay” Pete offers.
“Thanks, I will but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
I leave the apartment and decide to pick up towels and accessories for the bathroom to kill time while I wait to hear from Damian and before I’m due to meet Leslie.
I make my way to Saks and pick super pile towels in linen, a silk cotton mix robe in black for Damian and a short cashmere one for me also in black. They will make the space look homey when hanging on hooks in the bathroom. When people come to see the space they need to be able to picture themselves living there and I think finding his and her robes in the bathroom will help them imagine themselves in the space on a lazy weekend morning. I pay for my purchases and ask that they be sent to my apartment.
I head over to Hard as Stone in a cab to meet Leslie. Just as I’m getting out of the cab my phone rings with Damian’s ringtone and his gorgeous face on my screen.
“Hey” I say as my way to answer.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine” I say confused before I remember the mess
age I left him. “Oh, my message? Yeah, no big deal. I can work it out on my own but I don’t have a place to stay tonight because the floors are going to need to set and I panicked not knowing what to do. I thought about calling Alex after I had called you and Pete offered me a place to sleep. But you were the first one that came to mind but I’ll call Alex and see if I can stay with him for the night, if not I’ll see if Pete’s offer still stands. How was your flight?”
“My flight was fine and no you will not stay with Alex or Pete tonight even if they are my friends. You were right to call me first when you were in need of something. I will always take care of you; I’ve told you that Sydney. You’ll stay at my place tonight. I wish I could be there for the first time you’re in my penthouse, the first time you sleep in my bed.”
“How about if I don’t sleep in your bed? I want you to be there the first time I stay there too.”
“Fine, you can sleep in the guest room or anywhere you’d like. Make yourself at home. I miss you already. I wish I could come home tonight but I have to handle this prick and put this deal to rest. I have to run now actually. I’ll call you later tonight. I’m going to email you directions to get into the penthouse now. I’m glad you called me Sydney. We’ll talk tonight, angel.”
“Bye, Day. And thank you for everything. I can never…” he cuts me off. “I want to take care of you, I live for it. Bye, baby” and with that he’s gone.
I meet with Leslie and we work out our set before we try it out with an audience. We’re a big hit all four times that we dance together. I also do my original sets and by the end of my five hour shift I am ready to collapse with exhaustion. But Leslie and the other girls ask if I want to go out for a few drinks and I accept. I don’t want to spend any more time alone than I have to. I’m worried about sleeping alone tonight and being in Damian’s apartment for the first time. I check my email to be sure he’s given me directions to get in, knowing I’ll have to head there eventually tonight.
From: Damian Stone
Subject: My place
Date: May 25, 2012 5:37pm
To: Sydney Cooper
Syd,
I miss you…I wish I was there right now with you.
When you get into the elevator you need to enter the code S-T-O-N-E (shocking right?) into the control panel then select the penthouse floor. When the elevator doors open you’ll be in my foyer.
Make yourself at home, what’s mine is yours.
Damian Stone
CEO, Stone Empire, Inc.
From: Sydney Cooper
Subject: My place
Date: May 25, 2012 12:16am
To: Damian Stone
Day,
Thank you so much for letting me crash at your place tonight. A few girls I know asked me to go to a club with them and I didn’t want to be alone so I agreed. It’s never really been my scene but I can use a little girl time. I don’t want to wake you when I get back to your place so I’ll just send you a quick text.
Can’t wait for you to be back.
Me
From: Damian Stone
Subject: Where are you going?
Date: May 25, 2012 12:18am
To: Sydney Cooper
Where are you going after midnight and where have you been until now?
Damian Stone
CEO, Stone Empire, Inc.
He’s sounds mad about something. Maybe this deal of his is still not going well. I hate to lie to him but I can’t very well tell him that I’ve been at a gentleman’s club taking off most of my clothes for a bunch of rich guys.
From: Sydney Cooper
Subject: Stone Faced…
Date: May 25, 2012 12:24am
To: Damian Stone
…in Midtown. I’ve been at my friend Leslie’s apartment. I know her from school.
From: Damian Stone
Subject: That’s mine
Date: May 25, 2012 12:31am
To: Sydney Cooper
I know the place well but the owner is such a big dick or maybe it’s that he has a big dick ;) either way…
When you get to the door, don’t wait in line go up to the doorman and give them your name. When you or your friends order anything give your name and everything will be on the house.
I am calling them now.
Call me no matter the time when you get home, I can’t sleep without you in my arms anyway.
Damian Stone: the man who is now unable to sleep without you next to him and CEO, Stone Empire, Inc.
I don’t respond by email, I send him a fast text when we are in a cab on the way to the club…Owner is not dick it must b that he has big 1. Yes? Thx 4 calling ahead 4 me & girls…they r going 2 think I rock. I will call when home. I won’t sleep w/o u either…syd
We pull up out front, pile out of the cab and see that the line goes around the building. I haven’t told Leslie and the others about my connection yet. I walk past the line to the doorman and when I am waved in their mouths drop.
“How the hell did you just get us in here” Leslie asks me.
“I have my ways, don’t you worry.”
We are shown to what I guess is the best table in the house. We have our own waitress and we’re right next to the dance floor. The girls look at me again with their amazed faces.
“Okay come clean. How did you manage this?”
“I know the owner. We’re kind of dating.”
“The owner? Wait, who?” Leslie asks looking confused.
“His name is Damian Stone. He owns a few things around the city too. He called when I told him I was coming here and told them to let us in and give us this table. The drink’s are on the house too” I report.
“Damian Stone? And you say he owns other things around the city? Do you know what else?” Rebecca, one of the girls asks.
“Um, an apartment building on Park, a restaurant and an interior design firm that I know of. I haven’t known him that long, only like two weeks so I’m not really sure if he owns anything else.”
The girls look from each other to me and back at each other again. They are clearly hiding something from me.
“What?” I ask.
“Um, nothing” Leslie says, “We’re just amazed by your powers girlfriend” she jokes with me.
We order drinks and the girls head out to dance. I check my phone before joining them.
HUGE!!!! u should c it …can’t wait 4 u 2 c it…don’t drink 2 much & no dancing w/ guys…warning: I am very jealous man
I don’t respond, I’ll call him in few hours when I get to his apartment. The thought of his being jealous of another man dancing with me gives me a warm tingling feeling inside and a self-confidence that’s new to me. I head out to the dance floor and let loose.
The girls and I drink too much and dance too hard. I’m sweating and unstable on my feet as we head out into the coolness of the late night air. We’re stopped at the door by a man who tells me his name is Jonesie and asks me to check my phone. I don’t know what he’s talking about but when he calls me by my name I decide I had better listen to him.
I have a text from Damian: U drank 2 much & r drunk…go with jonesie he works 4 me & will keep u safe. Know that I am pissed about u being drunk…we’ll talk about this when u get home…call me the minute u do
I introduce myself to Jonesie, say goodbye to the girls who jump into a cab and I allow Jonesie to guide me to the Escalade that’s parked in front of the building. I fall asleep on the ride back to the apartment and when Jonesie wakes me I have a hard time walking into the building. He has to hold me up and help me into the elevator. He rides up to the penthouse with me, settles me on the couch then uses my phone to dial Damian’s number. When Damian answers they have a quick conversation before he hands me the phone, says good bye and takes his leave.
“Day” I say, “Hi, honey I’m home” I break out into fits of giggles.
“Sydney, what the fuck were you thinking? It is not safe to be in a club even if it is mine at this hour of the night an
d so drunk that you can barely stand up. What if someone took advantage of you?” he sounds furious.
“I sorry, never drink this much. I must have had too many” I slur.
“Yes, you did. Five shots, three beers and a mixed drink is way too much for someone your size even if they are a seasoned drinker which I assume you are not. Now go to sleep, we’ll talk about this more when I get home. This isn’t over. Good night Sydney” he says before he hangs up.
I’m too tired to take off my clothes or wash my face. I fall asleep sitting up on his couch and don’t wake up until an attractive older woman enters the room. She introduces herself as Damian’s housekeeper, Mrs. Ford. We exchange pleasantries and she offers to make me breakfast. I decline saying I need to check on my apartment. We say our farewells then I head back downstairs feeling my hangover coming on me fast.
My head is foggy and my brain hurts. I can’t process everything happening with this man. Damian seems to own every place I walk into in this city, he has more money than God, he has cars, maids, drivers and body guards. And what was up with him being so pissed off about me having a good time last night and a little too much to drink? I’m a big girl; I can take care of myself. The problem is he like every other normal person thinks bad things happen to people who bring it on themselves. What he doesn’t know is that nothing worse can happen to me than what already has and I wasn’t looking for trouble when I was fourteen years old and in my own house. He also said something about it not being over. What’s he going to do? Ground me for a week? Take away my phone? Or maybe he’s going to put me over his knee and give me a spanking. Ridiculous.