by Berry, Kitty
“Baby, I wish none of it happened to you but if you want to tell me then I want to hear. I just couldn’t handle anymore last night. You understand? It was a bit of a shock and my temper was not under control. You have not seen me in a rage and believe me you don’t want to. I swear to you though, when we find either or both of them the rage that they are going to experience will be like never before.”
“I know you want to defend me and protect me but you can’t go around beating people up. You’ll be arrested. How will that look for your company?”
“I don’t give a fuck about anything but you. They have it coming to them; they need to be taught a lesson. And don’t worry about me being arrested, it won’t happen.”
I don’t ask why he’s so confident that he won’t be arrested for assault if he beats either or both of them up, instead I begin my story. “So I already told you about the first time. The following night I never thought it would happen again. I was confused and in denial I guess. I still didn’t think he meant it, I still thought he was sleep walking or something, I don’t know. So the next night when I heard my door open I froze with fear. I was still in pain from the night before and now that I knew what he was going to do it was even worse. I tried to get out of bed but he was on me so fast. I started crying and begging him to leave me alone, I told him he had hurt me but he just laughed at me. He told me I was ugly and stupid and that I had no friends. He said I should be happy for any attention I could get and that none of the boys at school would ever want me. He said he was doing me a favor. He told me things like that for four years, Damian. That’s why I don’t see myself the way you do. When you tell me I’m pretty or sexy I don’t believe it. I guess I believe you maybe think that but I can’t believe it’s true. When I look at you, God do you have any idea how perfect you are? It actually hurts for people to look at your face. I have seen a few parts of you without clothes and your body’s just as amazing. I can’t understand why you’d want me. I’m so damaged and you could have any beautiful woman you want, ones with no baggage.”
“I’m glad to hear that because the beautiful woman I want is you. I know it will take you some time to believe me when I say this but Sydney, you are stunning. Your hair brings me to my knees, your eyes look into my soul and that’s a place I have never let anyone into before. Your body drives me crazy and I haven’t seen an inch of it naked yet. I will spend the rest of my days trying to repair the damage that asshole did to your self esteem. I will make you see what I see when I look at you. And don’t for a minute think that others don’t see it too. You just don’t realize how other men look at you. It pisses me off.”
I kiss him gently on the cheek, take a deep breath and continue. “So that second night he raped me again. He raped me like that every night he could. I tried to talk my dad into letting me go live with him. I told him I hated my mother but he just thought it was the natural drama of a teenage girl and her mother. But I did hate her Damian, I still do. How could she not have known what he was doing to me?”
“I don’t know, baby. People get wrapped up in their own lives; they only see what they want to see. I don’t think any mother could know her daughter was being raped every night in her own bed and not do something about it.”
I continue with the worst of it. “He even raped me when I had my period and I know I didn’t tell you this when we talked about our relationship but I think that’s going to have to be a hard limit for me. The first time he raped me when I had it he flipped me onto my stomach then pulled me up onto my knees and he put it inside me but not where he had before. He said it was my fault that I had my period and that he had to fuck me in…” I can’t finish the sentence, my head down, and too embarrassed to make eye contact with him.”
“That’s why you want anal intercourse to be a hard limit too? Let’s give that some time. I want you to be able to let me. I want to replace your memories of him. It will not be like it was with him; it will be to make you feel good, everything between us will only be to make you feel good baby, trust me. I will never hurt you. We’ll take that slow I promise. Let’s not talk about this now. Go ahead and finish.”
“The time he let Mark and some other friend watch was terrible. I was so embarrassed and I don’t know why they didn’t help me. They thought he was so cool that he was doing that to me. They both wanted a turn. If my mother and Robert didn’t come home when they did they would have raped me too. I couldn’t make him stop but the worst of it was I never really tried. I never fought him. I was too scared and I started to believe everything he told me. He told me that no one would believe me, that he would tell everyone I came on to him and he turned me down, that I was just trying to get him into trouble. I was trapped until I left for college. I left and never looked back. I was starting to put it behind me until Mark showed up and now it’s all a mess again.”
Damian takes me into his arms more firmly and says, “Yeah, but this time you have me and I promise you not Mark, Ryan or anyone else is ever going to hurt you again.”
I glance at the clock and Damian notices, he knows what’s coming next. I tell him I want to go into S&S so I can get stuff together for Megan’s project tomorrow. He agrees without a fight which I’m pleasantly surprised about but confused. He says that I can go into work but only if I take security with me and I have no choice but to agree to his conditions. And now I understand, he’ll let me out of his sight if I have an armed guard with me at all times.
Damian asks Mac to come with me to my apartment while I get ready then take me to S&S and never leave my side. He asks for an hourly check in from him so he’ll know I’m okay. Damian smoothes the hair back out of my eyes and tucks it behind my ears as he kisses me on my forehead. “I will have a dress for this evening delivered to your apartment later today. Can you be ready to go by seven? I’ll come down then. And Sydney, do not disobey me on this security thing” he says as we say good-bye. I had forgotten all about The Society party tonight.
Mac and I head down to my apartment and he draws a gun from his hip as I punch in the code to unlock the door. He enters the apartment first and makes me follow directly behind him holding me close to his hard toned back. The girl that shares this man’s bed is one lucky lady. There’s no one there and he gives me the all clear. I tell him to make himself at home while I get ready for work.
I shower and put on my jersey twisted strap dress in purple then step into my sandals. I slap on some light make up and head out. Mac smiles when he sees me and asks, “Ready to go?”
We head to S&S and the day goes by fast and without incident. Alex of course knows what happened last night but after speaking with him I can see Damian didn’t want to betray my trust and tell him the details about Ryan. I’m thankful for that but I decide to tell Alex myself. It was not an easy conversation to have and I didn’t share any details with him as I had with Damian, only the necessary facts. He hugged me tight to his body and assured me he would do anything in his power to keep me safe as well. “When Damian kicks their asses, and believe me he is going to I hope I’m there to help him” he says before I leave his office.
Damian spends the entire day texting, calling and emailing me. I can hardly accomplish anything with the constant interruptions but I find it sweet. I do some research for Megan and Damian’s playrooms and make sketches for both. I don’t want to create rooms that are alike but at the same time there are only so many options. I am almost looking forward to tonight to see if I am on the mark with my ideas.
At almost five Mac and I head back to my apartment where I find the most beautiful ice blue strapless evening gown by BCBG and matching high heels. Damian seems like a big high heel fan which is good because being only five feet tall to his well over six foot frame I try to wear them whenever we are together.
At just before seven Damian taps on my door and when I go to open it Mac rushes between me and it only to find Damian standing there holding lavender roses and a box that contains a one-of-a-kind platinum diamond eternity
necklace that features graduated brilliant cut diamonds. Mac and Damian laugh at each other standing in my doorway looking as if they are about to go on a romantic date together.
Damian looks stunning in his black Gucci suit and ice blue tie that matches my dress. I wonder if there will ever come a time when I will look at this man and not have my breath taken from me. His face is flawless, he has large dark eyes but it’s the long naturally curled lashes that do me in. His chin and bone structure are strong but his small delicate nose softens his features. The two days worth of stubble that he has at all times makes him look more like a bad boy than a CEO. But my favorite feature is his long dark hair. It’s silky smooth and just long enough for me to lose my hands in or use to pull his lips to mine.
I step between Damian and Mac joking, “Mac, if you’ll excuse me. I think those are for me, at least they better be, he’s been warned that I am a jealous person.” Damian wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him kissing me on the top of my head and inhaling my scent as he loves to do. I open the card with the roses first and read Damian’s handwriting that is as perfect as the man in both penmanship and words…
My Darling Sydney,
Lavender roses for enchantment and the love I felt for you at first sight…
Day
Damian looks at me when I see the necklace and asks, “May I?” as he gestures for me to turn around so he can clasp it on my neck. When I lift up my hair to give him access he first kisses me softly on the nape of my neck then behind my ear. I notice Mac has looked away to give us a private moment. Once the necklace is in place he offers me his arm and we head out to the car.
“I’m glad you’re feeling up to doing this tonight. I was worried that you’d cancel after what happened.”
“I don’t want to let what happened in my past effect my future any more than I have to. I didn’t want to disappoint you tonight. I’ll be fine. I want to do this for you, with you.”
Dominick is waiting at the curb with the Bentley and Mac holds the door open for Damian and I to climb in the backseat then he gets into the front with Dominick. The paparazzi were waiting and snapped as many pictures as they could. They tried yelling out to Damian for a statement but he just ignored them and guided me into the car with the possessive touch of his hand at the small of my back.
Damian can sense that I’m nervous and he puts his hand on my knee and tells me everything will be okay. He explains that this is a party not an initiation and all I have to do is watch. He says if I don’t like it or if it makes me uncomfortable we can leave.
We arrive at an ordinary building in the meat packing district close to where Parker and I lived for four years. I can’t believe I walked past this building numerous times and I never once suspected kinky sex parties were occurring on the inside. I also can’t believe I never saw Damian coming in or out of the building, as beautiful as he is, I would have noticed and remembered him.
I’m mortified that Mac and Dominick are coming inside with us. A large man who is clearly a bouncer is standing at the door and Dominick throws him the car keys. I notice that the door has the same strange symbol that Damian has tattooed on his shoulder.
“Do Mac and Dominick belong to The Society too?” I ask Damian as we are stepping inside.
“No, but because they are with me as are you so they don’t need to be initiated members. They can come in as my guests, only the Head Masters are allowed non-initiated guests” he explains.
Everyone is dressed in suits and dresses like Damian and I. I expected everyone to be naked and involved in kinky sex acts but it looks as if we’re at a dinner party. Damian leans in to me, “We’ll be having dinner first this evening then the party portion will begin.”
As we make our way into the room I immediately spot Megan with a man and woman heading in our direction. Megan kisses me on both cheeks first before doing the same to Damian. Damian keeps his arm around me, pulling me tightly by my waist into his side. He introduces the other woman with Megan to me as Jennifer and the man as Lucas, the other Head Masters. They all warmly greet me with kisses to my cheeks and words of welcome. We follow them to a table for ten and I’m not sure if the partners they are with are their submissives, their significant others or both and I’m too afraid to ask. Damian sensing my thoughts clarifies during introductions. He tells me the man with Megan, Jim, is her husband and surprises me when he tells me Andrea is Megan’s sub. Jim is as blond as his wife, has an inch or two on Damian and is clearly well built under his tailored suit and tie. I learn that Andrea should be joining us shortly and I’m not too pleased. Jennifer is accompanied by her sub, Eric. Jennifer has shoulder length curly brown hair to match her voluptuous curvy figure and Eric is tall, lean and meek looking. Lucas has his sub Kassy with him, they are both very attractive, Lucas dark, dangerous looking and much older than the cute and innocent looking Kassy. In the other seat is a very attractive brunette that I recognize. It’s Damian’s personal assistant, Veronica. Damian explains that she subs from time to time at the parties and tonight she’s with Lucas and Kassy. I am not pleased that so many people in his everyday life have had the opportunity to see him in a sexual way but no is not the time for that argument. I don’t want to upset him or do anything to embarrass him but this is something we will need to discuss.
We have pleasant conversations during our meal but it all seems so weird to me. The whole time I am talking to them I keep thinking that I will be seeing these people naked and having sex within the hour, it is very distracting. After our meal, chimes begin to sound and Damian stands and reaches for my hand saying one word to me, an order more than a request, “Come” and I take his hand and follow him into another room while the others all walk together into a different room. Once Damian and I are alone he asks if I’m okay. I tell him I am fine. He asks if I want to leave or stay and I tell him I would like to stay. “That’s my good girl” he says.
He explains that the others went into the playroom where they will set up their scenes and wait for us to begin. He tells me that usually couples just do what they do and people who are watching watch but for me tonight each group was planning on waiting to begin their scene until I was ready to watch. He says we’ll move around to each group and we can watch as long as we’d like or move on to the next group as quickly as I want. He asks if I want to be in the playroom or watch from the viewing room instead. I say I think I should just jump into it and go into the playroom, afraid if I go to the viewing room I’ll never go into the actual playroom.
Damian takes off his tie and jacket and I notice that the room we are in must be his private room. The walls are painted a rich red color with dark brown trim, there are no windows but a door possibly heading into a private bathroom sits at the far right side of the space. He has a bed with a red leather padded bench at the foot of it. There is a strange looking X shaped object on the wall to the left of the room and a large chest of drawers next to the bed. The bed is a four poster model with black silk sheets and there are cuffs on all four posts for someone’s ankles and wrists. Damian casually tosses his jacket and tie onto the bed and sits on the edge of it pulling me in between his legs. He clasps his hands around my waist and pulls me into him. He nuzzles his face into my belly and kisses me gently. He gives my ass a little squeeze than a playful but firm slap before he pulls me down so I am lying on top of him on the bed. I can already feel the bulge in his pants growing harder and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t also just as excited even though I am also scared out of my mind. He kisses me hard and fast with a need I can only accept from him. He tosses me over and then he’s leaning over me. He looks into my eyes and asks, “You’re sure you want to do this? You’re okay?”
“Yes, I’ll be fine and if I start freaking out I’ll tell you.”
“I want you to use the safe words if you have to. Say them again. Now” he demands.
“Sticks and stones.” See I can be compliant.
“Okay, baby. Let’s go, it’s now or never�
� he says as he takes me by the hand and leads me out of his private sex room in this exclusive kinky club and into his world of sex, kink, dominance and submission.
My heart is beating out of my chest as we emerge into the playroom, I can’t believe I am here and about to witness people having sex, kinky sex to boot. Damian pulls me into his body close at the waist. It feels safe but territorial, like I am his and his alone, it’s a wonderful feeling. Protection. “Don’t be scared, I’ll guide you. I will take care of you, you are safe with me. Trust me, right?” he asks. I nod my head.
The lighting is dim and I can hear the erotic pulse of music around me filling my ears, igniting another of my senses.
“Ready? You okay, baby?”
“Mm Hmm. Ready as I am ever going to be” I murmur. That was a bit of a lie, I don’t think I will ever be ready for this but here goes. I figure it’s like jumping into the cool water of a pool, better to just take the plunge.
The room he takes me into is large but again I notice there are no windows. The room is painted a dark red again, similar to Damian’s private room but the trim in this space in painted black. The lights are low and a reddish hue barely casts any light. Only an interior designer would be noticing these things right now. I give myself an internal spanking and make myself focus on what I came here to learn. I laugh to myself thinking that Damian would love to know I was thinking about needing a spanking.