by Berry, Kitty
When’s Damian’s not here trying to talk to me not an hour goes by that I don’t pick up the phone to call him then put it back down again. I am out of control but without his guidance I can’t seem to recalibrate myself, I’m a mess, barely functioning. It hits me that I am truly alone, my relationship with my mother can never be repaired; my relationship with Damian is ruined, I can’t face my father or my friends, I can’t work.
On the morning of the eighth day, or maybe it’s the one hundredth, I’ve lost count, Drea comes to Parker’s and begs me to talk to her, she refuses to leave without seeing me. I agree after she swears Damian is not with her. She tells me that he has a huge meeting with the top executives from each of his companies this morning and promises she’s alone. I come out of the locked bathroom and Drea hands me a cup of coffee and offers me a firm hug.
“Sydney, we need to talk. I know you don’t want to hear about my brother right now but he’s a mess and you look just as bad. Now sit down and please just hear me out, I’m concerned about both of you” Drea begs.
She begins by telling me that she understands that Damian is a complicated man and that it’s difficult to be with someone so wealthy and in the public eye all the time. She says she can’t imagine what it must be like to be with someone as controlling as he is and then add to that the sexual dominant aspect, she admits it would take her down. She admits it sounds like the cards are against us.
The tears pour out of me, coating my face and I allow them to. Drea sits on the bed and holds me while the rain out of the bedroom window matches the tears falling from my eyes. We cry together, the sounds coming from me scaring us both, too painful to hear. I tell Drea that I feel the damage done is too deep to repair, it is hopeless and I am helpless. I am an empty shell.
“Syd, this is a mess, especially with your mother, I agree but you need to hear me out, please.” She leads me into the living space and I agree to listen as we curl up on the sofa together. I wrap myself up in a down comforter, still unable to get warm. It’s as if without Damian’s arms around me, without his body next to me, I am freezing inside. It’s as if I am dead and no longer have any body heat but being without Damian feels worse than being dead. I can’t help but think that if I were it’d be better, at least I wouldn’t have to endure this pain any longer.
Drea tells me that Damian hasn’t shaved in days, he barely showers and he can’t sleep. She says he won’t even go into the master bedroom and that he tried to destroy the playroom blaming his sexual lifestyle with my leaving. “Thank God Mac was there, I like getting my freak on in there” she jokes with me trying to elicit a smile out of me, it doesn’t work.
She goes on to tell me that he’s been either drunk since I left him or in his gym working out but he hasn’t gone into work until today. She says that he finally showered for the meeting today but only because she insisted that he must. She says he ran an electric razor over his face, it didn’t do the trick.
“His employees are going to think that he cracked, he looks like a crazed lunatic. He misses you so badly he told me it feels like a wound to the chest. He said he feels split open. He loves you, Sydney.”
“I know he does. I love him too.”
“He told Mac that you respond to him in bed like the best submissive he’s ever seen but in your everyday life you have this fire about you, it reminds him of your hair, he said, he thinks that you challenge him and for the first time in his life he wants that from a woman, from you. He said it’s one of the traits that make him love you so much. He said you’re beautiful and intelligent and sassy sometimes. He told Mac for him, it’s only you, it’s only ever been you and only ever will be.”
I listen through my sobs then Drea goes on to tell me about their childhood growing up and how their parents were distant and never put them first. She says she had it better than Damian did because she had him and even at eight years old once she was born he always put her needs first. “He came to every dance recital, every play I was in. I’d look out in the audience just hoping for once that my parents would be there but it was always Damian sitting in the seats with Tate and Brook. At least I had him. He was a big high school star on his baseball, basketball and football teams but my parents were always too busy to make it to his games. Tate and Brook went to as much as they could but they aren’t his parents. I know it doesn’t make it right but I think when he went to college and your mom, well, I think he needed someone to take care of him, you know? But he didn’t feel worthy of real love, she probably sensed that and used it to her advantage. I’m not saying he wasn’t at fault too but Sydney, honestly he never knew she was your mother.”
“I know. I couldn’t see that when it all happened but I do know that now, it’s all I’ve been thinking about” I admit.
“Sydney, are you truly in love with him?”
“Yes, I’m more than in love with him. I’m possessed by him, I’m obsessed with him and I am dying without him. I know how pathetic that must sound to someone as sophisticated and strong as you but it is truly how I feel.”
“I’m not any more sophisticated than you, I certainly am not as strong and I understand how you feel. I know not everyone understands why I want to be with someone older than I am. I hear what people say when we’re out. I hear the whispers about me needing a “daddy” and maybe I do. Hell, we all know what my dad is like but I love Mac, no holds barred.”
“I get it Drea and if it matters at all I think you and Mac are great together. I think Day and I are too.”
“Then what’s the problem? When you think about it nothing has really changed. You knew who he was sexually when you got involved with him, you knew about his relationship with an older professor. He didn’t know you at the time when he was involved with her and he didn’t know she was your mother at the time he got involved with you any more than you did. He’s not with you because of her; he’s with you because he is as possessed and obsessed with you as you are with him. I see it when he looks at you, when he talks about you, hell; I’ve seen it in his eyes when he’s just been thinking about you.”
“I know, I know all of those things but how do I do this?”
“You do it together with Day. Talk to him. Go to your therapist together, work through this. Sydney, please you both deserve the chance to be happy and being apart from each other is not making either of you happy.”
“I know. I…thank you for talking to me…for making me talk about it. I’ve been avoiding doing this with Parker and I keep refusing to see or speak to Day.”
“Here” she hands me a CD. “This is from him. He asked me to give it to you and to tell you that he loves you…that he wants to see you.”
“Thank you” I say as I hug her tightly to my body.
When Drea leaves and I’m alone curled under the covers and comfort of my old bed I put the CD into the stereo system and for the next half hour I listen to the tracks that are words from his heart. I listen to the CD two more times before making my decision. Once made I search through Parker’s closet and find what I need. I shower, shave and get dressed. I do my hair and makeup then head out into the world for the first time in over a week. When I exit the apartment building I find Dominick waiting at the curb in the Bentley. The flashing assaults my face before I have time to hide from the prying eyes of the press but this time I decide not to hide. I decide to give them what they want. I stand and pose for their pictures, smile slyly at their questions saying simply, “No comment.”
I approach the car, “Dominick, what are you doing?” I ask.
“Waiting for you. Damian asked me to be here every day all day waiting in case you needed to go somewhere. Do you need to go somewhere?”
“Um, yeah, I do. Can you take me to Day’s office please? That is if he’s still there.”
“He is. Do you want me to call and let him know we are on our way?”
“No. I want it to be a surprise.”
“It will be the best one he’s had in a long time.”
&
nbsp; I smile at Dominick and climb into the car. “I hope so.”
Dominick drives me to The Stone Empire’s headquarters on Wall Street. The front of the building has the stone facade that Damian is so fond of. It’s a huge building, standing above all the others around it. I ask Dominick what floor Damian’s office is on and he offers to bring me up, strange but I’ve never been here. I thank him when we get to the floor and ask for him to wait for me downstairs. He smiles, turns and walks back into the elevator.
I spot Veronica and she doesn’t look pleased to see me. Maybe she heard of our breakup and was hoping to have me out of the picture for good. I have no choice but to ask for her help, not wanting to anger her boss and ex-Dom she agrees to help. I hand her the CD and ask her to pipe the music into the conference room where Damian is. I know I shouldn’t bother him while he’s in this meeting but I have no choice, this has to happen now, it’s what’s best for the both of us and to hell with his meeting.
While I’m waiting for the music to start I watch Damian in the conference room but he can’t see me. He looks as hot as ever but a little rougher around the edges. Drea was right, the electric shave he did this morning is just not cutting it. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days, I was fortunate enough to be able to conceal that same look with makeup.
Even in his clearly agitated state he has the attention of the room, he’s always in command. Even though he can’t see me and the music hasn’t started yet I can tell he senses something, maybe my presence. And then I hear the beginning cords of Stoned. Damian looks up then stands and quickly searches the faces of his top executives as if any of them could be responsible for playing the song we fucked to in the car after our last fight. And that’s when I walk straight at the glass walled conference room dressed as Cinnamon Stick. Damian’s eyes lock with mine and I stop dead in my tracks and just stare back at him for the briefest of seconds. I put my index finger in my mouth and stand with my legs slightly spread apart. When he sees me he says my name and starts towards me, never explaining his exit to the people sitting around the boardroom table. At his approach I turn and start to walk in the direction of his office, pulling open my shirt along the way for him and all of his executives to see. Of course they only see the back view as the buttons fly into the air and scatter on the floor.
I hear his footsteps moving faster and I know if I don’t start to run he’ll catch up to me before we’re at his office and after the tension of our breakup and our separation for a week I know he will take me right in the spot where he catches me regardless of who can see us.
Damian catches my arm a few feet away from his office. He spins me around and says my name as his mouth covers mine in a hungry kiss. He pushes me backward with his tongue swirling with mine into his office. He slams the door shut with his left hand while his right hand is undoing his pants. He breaks away from our kiss and pushes me at arm’s length so he can look at me. I slam my body into his and push him against the wall. I grab his shirt and pull it apart, ripping it open and flinging every button to the floor.
“Fuck, you look so hot and I missed you so fucking much. I have to be inside of you right now, we’ll talk later then we’ll discuss a punishment. Please tell me you want me to fuck you” he begs as he pulls open my bra, ripping it from my body.
“I want you to fuck me right now, right here on your desk so every day when you sit here you’ll think of this” I say as I lift my skirt to reveal I’m not wearing any panties.
Damian growls and clears his desk with one arm. He lifts me onto his desk and lays me down. He looks over my body and sighs, “You’ve lost a lot of weight in a week, angel.”
“Couldn’t eat” I say as I pull him closer for a kiss.
Damian enters my body with a grunt and begins sucking on my earlobe. He runs his tongue down my neck and over my lips then he arches up and supports his weight on his strong arms while thrusting into my body at a leisurely pace, not like a man who has just left a very important meeting.
“Sir”, Veronica’s voice comes from the intercom. “What should I tell the people in your meeting? They’re asking if you’re coming back.”
I whisper, “Oh, you’re going to be coming alright.” And Damian smiles his mischievous smile that makes me melt.
While still thrusting into me Damian somehow calmly says, “Tell them to take a break. I will be with them in half an hour. Something came up that couldn’t wait.” He laughs and right then I know we’re going to be okay in our own messed up way.
Damian continues to slide in and out of me, rubbing his erection over every sweet spot inside of me. When he feels my pulse quicken and my muscles clench he knows he’s bringing me to the end. “Come for me baby, I can feel your pussy begging for it. Give it up for me. You are mine, you will always be mine” he whispers into my ear then urgently begs me to confirm that I am.
“I am all yours, always have been, always will be. Sorry I said I wasn’t, didn’t mean it. Love you.”
I feel my legs go rigid and my stomach clenches. My toes curl and I am unable to hold back the moans and screams of pleasure as Damian takes my body to paradise. After more than a week of not having an orgasm mine hits me long and hard, the aftershocks lasting until Damian pulls out of me and wraps his body around mine and inhales my hair. At that gesture I crack and can’t hold back the tears.
“I love you, please say we’re okay. Please tell me that you’re mine and that you are not leaving me. Please tell me that wasn’t good-bye.”
“That wasn’t good-bye, Day. I am yours, always going to be.” His expression breaks into a smile and he takes me into his arms and kisses me on the lips softly. My knees go weak and I melt into his embrace.
After we recuperate the reality of Damian leaving his meeting hits him. “I have to finish up in there. Can you just give me half an hour? I need to know you’re here waiting for me. If I don’t know you’re still here I won’t be able to think straight. When I’m done I want to take you home, feed you and take you to bed. I haven’t sleep in over a week and it looks like you haven’t either. I need to have you in our bed naked in my arms.”
I agree and Damian tells me to go through the extra clothes he keeps in his office and find something that will cover me up to wear home. After I call Dominick and tell him he can go, I’ll be getting a ride back with Damian, I sit behind his desk to try it on for size.
His office is all chrome and glass with splashes of blue. The floor is a gray concrete with blue and gray patterned area rugs. His walls are a light blue and the ceiling is painted just a hue lighter than the walls. His desk is a massive dark wood masterpiece with drawers and secret compartments that I am tempted to rummage through. He has a sofa and an electronics system complete with TV, surround sound and iPod.
I begin to pick up the papers and items that went soaring through the room earlier in his rush to have me on his desk. Every item that is not a document relating to his work is a picture of me or of us together. I place them all back on his desk surprised that none of them shattered. I sit back in his chair and study the pictures. I look happier than I realized I was in every one of them, even the ones where I’m asleep. We have a lot of work to do on making this relationship work but I know I’ve made the right decision.
After Damian concludes his business Mac drives us back to the penthouse in the Escalade but when we pull into the garage he leaves us in the car making out. Our lips have been connected since we got in the car. When we notice that we’re alone we smirk at each other both thinking the same thing, if we’re alone there’s no harm in connecting other parts of our bodies.
Damian reaches for his shirt that I put on to cover myself in order to leave his building without exposing myself and he rips it open and pulls it from my body. I am not wearing a bra so once the shirt is off my breasts are in his hands, in his mouth. He captures my nipple in his teeth and I lose my breath. I moan and my head rolls back then I see a movement out of the corner of my eye but before I can determine if it’s
someone watching us Damian plunges his tongue into my mouth and I forget all about the possibility of being caught. He removes his shirt and pulls off my skirt revealing my bare sex that is already hot and wet for him. He leans me back in the seat and uses his thumbs to open me up.
“Mmm, I missed this so much. All mine” he mumbles with his mouth already covering my sex, his tongue exploring my outer folds before it travels up my slit and enters my body. When he sucks on my clit he holds me down by my hips and begins to beg, “Come in my mouth, baby. God, I fucking need to taste your come.”
When he pulls back the covering and my tiny bud pops out we both know I’m done for. I grab his hair and hold him to me, begging for the feeling to last forever.
“Ah, I’m going to come” I moan as my body gives in to his manipulations and I give his tongue what it’s been craving. He sucks greedily at my body, refusing to let go until he’s sure he has sucked every last drop out of me. Once certain that he has he raises and while making eye contact with me he licks his lips and his eyes slightly close, savoring me, my taste. I will never tire of that, it is so hot and sexy it almost sends me into another orgasm.