“You are amazing,” he said, then claimed her lips in another quick kiss before drawing out of her. “I need to go to the bathroom. Do you think you could unlock the door and let in the troops?”
“Sure.” She smiled as he turned away and then she slid off the counter and straightened her skirt and panties. As she walked out of the kitchen, she pulled her hair out of its now-messy ponytail and redid it with her fingers.
“Sorry,” she said to the group gathered, faking a frown. “The lock must be playing up. But come on in. Ready for a big day?”
A couple of the female staff looked at her quizzically as if they didn’t quite believe her faulty-lock excuse, but she turned away and set off to begin the working day. They still had much to prepare for the grand opening next week.
Chapter Thirteen
“Good morning,” Nora said as Lachlan wandered into the kitchen. “Can I pour you some coffee?”
“Yes, please.” He summoned a smile for her as he sat at the table and then ran a hand through his still-wet hair. He’d been up at the crack of dawn to have a shower in peace before the kids woke up. “Have you heard anything from Hallie or Hamish yet?”
She shook her head. “Not a murmur, but I’ve just popped some blueberry muffins in the oven for their breakfast.”
“Thanks,” he managed, still too tired for too many words but grateful for all his mom’s help where his children were concerned. She’d been especially good with Hallie, making sure they did girlie things together to try to distract her from Linda’s absence.
“So, one week until the big day!” Nora said brightly as she placed a mug of steaming caffeine in front of him. “Excited much?”
He made some sort of grunt in response and then took a big gulp of coffee. This was his dream. Since he’d first decided to become a chef, he’d harbored the secret (and then not-so-secret) fantasy of opening his own restaurant. The fact that he was also helping expand the family business should have made it even more exciting, but with everything else going on in his head right now, he just couldn’t drum up the enthusiasm he’d once felt.
Or maybe he was just nervous, anxious that everything would go right on the opening night. Eliza and Sophie had been working hard together to drum up some media attention and the pressure was on to impress those who’d promised to turn up next Friday night.
“Did you hear Annabel’s bringing her new beau?” Nora asked, seemingly oblivious to his disenchantment or putting his almost-monosyllabic responses down to him still being half-asleep. She continued without waiting for him to reply, “I can’t wait to meet him. Has she told you anything about him? She’s been very cagey with me. I’m sure Sophie knows more than she’s letting on as well, but you know how vault-like those two are with each other’s secrets.”
She finally paused and looked at him expectantly. “Well?”
He shrugged. “Well, what?”
“I was asking you about Annabel and her new man.”
“Sorry. If anyone has said anything—and I don’t think they have—it’s gone in one ear and out the other. Between the kids and the restaurant—” and my sneaky sessions with Eliza, he added silently “—I don’t have room in my head to focus on anything else right now.”
“Hmm.” Nora frowned and then leaned back against the counter. She stared at him long and hard, making him squirm a little. “I’m very proud of all you’ve done so far with the restaurant but I am worried that you’re overworking yourself what with the restaurant and the kids, and I don’t want you to burn out. That wouldn’t be good for anyone, especially those gorgeous grandchildren of mine.”
“I’m fine, Mom. Things will calm down in a few months when we’ve been open for a bit. Don’t stress.”
“It’s not my stress I’m worried about. Look,” she said, with a tone that said she meant business, “I was thinking, why don’t I look after the twins tonight and maybe you and Eliza could go out and get dinner together, have someone else cook for you for a change? And as it’s Saturday, there’s no reason to rush up in the morning, so you can stay out as late as you like! You both deserve a last hurrah before the restaurant opens.”
His mom grinned from ear to ear as if immensely pleased with herself for presenting this offer, but getting a babysitter wasn’t the issue. He had plenty of family always ready and willing to help with the kids if asked, but he and Eliza simply didn’t have the kind of arrangement where dinner was involved.
In theory, things had been good since that awful afternoon in the garage. The next morning, they’d had mind-blowing sex in the restaurant kitchen and had been at it almost every day since, finding moments before the staff arrived or after they’d left for the day.
But he missed hanging out with her like they used to do when he’d been giving her cooking lessons late at night. Most nights, he ended up with Hallie in bed with him and as much as he adored his daughter, she was like an octopus, her arms and legs flying all over the place while he was trying to dodge them. On the rare occasions he found himself alone, he fantasized about what it would be like to have a woman in bed with him instead.
But not just any woman.
Still with Hallie’s nighttime neediness, he couldn’t risk sneaking out of the house and having her wake up to find him gone. He didn’t begrudge his daughter his time and attention, but he missed talking and laughing with Eliza.
During the day while they worked, moments for conversation were few and far between and there was always another person within earshot. At night, instead of being with Eliza where he longed to be, he lay in bed, thinking about her and flicking through the books on grief he’d borrowed from the local library. He knew he was a fool to get involved with a woman who had shut off her heart to anything more than sex but he couldn’t help himself.
“Don’t you think asking my employees out for dinner is overstepping the line?” Lachlan said.
His mom blinked, looking genuinely confused. “Well, I...I thought Eliza had become a little more than an employee to you. She came to lunch with us and—”
“You invited her to lunch,” he interrupted, not wanting to be reminded about that afternoon. Since then, things had changed between them. And he didn’t think it was because of him like Eliza had predicted. Although his heart hurt every time he thought about what she’d lost, he’d done his best not to treat Eliza any differently, but she’d retreated again into herself. Only when they were in the throes of passion did he really feel as if he had any chance of getting close to her.
“Yes, but we all saw the way you two were with each other when you were here. It was clear to all of us you were attracted to each other. And then you went out to get the bike together and—”
Again Lachlan interrupted but didn’t meet his mom’s gaze as he said, “There’s nothing between Eliza and I.”
“Really?” Nora raised an eyebrow. She’d always had the annoying knack of being able to read him and his siblings like picture books.
And he’d never been able to lie to her face.
He sighed. “Okay, you’re right. I do like her. How could I not? And, I admit, there have been a few moments, but...” He paused, considering how much to tell her. “She’s not ready for a romantic relationship right now. She and her husband have only recently separated and she’s still hurting from his betrayal.”
“Ah...” His mom nodded. “So that’s it.”
Now it was his turn to look confused. “What’s what?”
“The first time I saw her, I thought there was something troubling her. She has a lost look in her eyes and I thought maybe she was grieving the death of somebody close.”
A chill prickled his skin as once again he considered telling her about Jack. He longed to ask her opinion about whether she thought Eliza could ever recover from losing her son. Although Nora had never lost a child herself, she was a mother and could probably put herself in such a p
osition to give him advice. She’d also lost her husband only recently so she understood grief. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it, not wanting to break Eliza’s confidence.
He’d have to make do with the books.
“Don’t think so,” he said, staring into his coffee so again he didn’t have to look her in the eye. “Her mom’s dead but she died a long time ago.”
“But she’s grieving the loss of her husband. Someone doesn’t actually have to die for you to go through the stages of grief.” She smiled encouragingly at him. “Give her time, honey. And be patient. I’ve got a good feeling about this one.”
He had to laugh, because she said “this one,” like Eliza was one in a long line of women he’d been interested in, when the truth was she was the first. He hadn’t been a complete monk and had enjoyed a few flings over the years, but no one had ever occupied his headspace the way Eliza did.
She was special. And she was broken.
“Anyway,” he said, pushed back his chair indicating this conversation was over and tried to shake her from his thoughts, “I don’t have time for a relationship right now. The kids need me.”
And as if to prove his point, Hallie wandered into the kitchen at that moment. Her hair was fuzzy from sleep and she had her favorite teddy bear in a headlock. Since his conversation with her about Linda, she’d started carrying the bear everywhere, where previously she only snuggled it at nighttime.
“Hey, glitter-pie,” he said, forcing chirpiness into his voice as he went across and scooped her up into his arms. “How’s my favorite girl this morning?”
She buried her head into his chest and he heard a muffled, “Hungry.”
“That’s good because Grandma’s made you some delicious blueberry muffins.”
“I want cereal,” she demanded.
Usually Lachlan would insist she ate something healthy for breakfast, but today he didn’t have the energy to object to the sugary cereal she requested and besides, he’d do practically anything to see his little girl smile again. “Okay, just this once I don’t think Uncle Blair will mind if we raid his secret cereal stash.”
She looked up into his eyes and almost smiled. “Thanks, Daddy.”
His heart leaping at these two words, he lowered her onto a chair and set about getting her what she wanted.
His mom again raised her eyebrows from where she stood against the counter. “Don’t start,” he said, under his breath. “She’s allowed to eat sugar occasionally.”
“I agree. I wasn’t thinking about Hallie’s breakfast and I promise this is the last thing I’ll say on this, but whether Eliza will go out to dinner with you or not, maybe you should call some friends and take a night off. Lord knows I’ve had to tell Callum this before, but all work and no play...”
“D-a-ad!” Hamish’s voice carried down the corridor from his bedroom, saving Lachlan from hearing the rest of his mom’s lecture. He looked at the door.
“I’ll get Hallie’s cereal,” Nora said, her tone resigned. “You go get our boy.”
“D-a-ad!” Hamish called again just as Lachlan got to his bedroom door. Once again, he summoned a smile for the benefit of his son and silently told himself to stop being so pathetic.
“Hey, champ. How are you feeling this morning?”
Hamish screwed up his face and stretched his arms over my head. “A little sore, but it’s not too bad. Can I smell Grandma’s blueberry muffins?”
“You sure can. Let’s get you out of bed so you can have some.” He reached for Hamish’s crutches. “Do you need to go to the bathroom before breakfast?”
“Not yet,” Hamish said. “My tummy is more loud than my bladder right now.”
Lachlan laughed as he helped his son to stand. Hamish never failed to help him put things in perspective. If anyone had any reason to grumble about the lot they were given in life, it was his son, but Hamish rarely complained or dwelled on his disabilities.
“Are you going to work today?” Hamish asked as they slowly made their way toward the kitchen.
“No,” Lachlan said, making the decision at that moment. “I’m going to spend every minute with you and Hallie.”
After weeks and weeks of experimentation, he was as happy with the menu as he was ever going to be—even his kitchen staff could cook it almost as well as he could—so there wasn’t any need to go into work today.
“Really?”
“Really,” Lachlan said, feeling guilty that Hamish sounded surprised by this. He thought he’d been doing a good job of spending time with his kids and working, but perhaps not. “What say we take a picnic to the river and maybe even go for a swim?”
“Yippee.” Hamish punched the air in excitement. “Can we take our bikes?”
* * *
“Hallie! Slow down,” Lachlan called as the three of them peddled along the path by the Deschutes River. It was a beautiful day and the riverbanks were busy with locals riding bikes and walking dogs and tourists taking photo after photo of the gorgeous scenery, which Lachlan had to admit he took for granted, having grown up on the river.
“Why can’t you hurry up?” Hallie shot back and Lachlan chanced a glance sideways at Hamish, who was doing his best, peddling hard on his adaptive bike. Usually Hallie was very caring and considerate of her brother, but occasionally she got frustrated at him not being able to do everything as quickly or efficiently as she could. Since Lachlan had told her about Linda, these episodes of frustration seemed to be coming more frequently.
“Sorry.” Hamish’s shoulders slumped and he stopped peddling altogether.
“You’re doing great,” Lachlan said, “but I’m ready for a break. Hallie,” he called ahead again, “let’s stop for lunch.”
“O-kay.” She reluctantly turned around and came back to join them.
“How about under that big tree over there?” Lachlan pointed to a spot not far from the playground.
The three of them peddled over and once their bikes were secure, Lachlan pulled the picnic blanket out of his backpack and started to unload the feast.
“Hallie, can you pour everyone a drink of juice?” he asked, handing her the carton and pointing to the plastic cups he’d just unloaded.
She made a noise of annoyance with her tongue but did as she was told.
“Thank you, Hallie,” Lachlan said when the drinks were poured and he’d laid the containers of food down on the rug between them. “Now, eat up.”
When the kids filled their plates and started to eat, Lachlan became aware of the silence between them. Usually when the three of them were together, Hallie chattered endlessly, and he and Hamish were hard pressed to get a word in, but today she barely said anything.
“How’re things at school?” he asked, trying to draw her out of her shell.
She shrugged one shoulder. “Okay.”
He tried a different tack. “Are you looking forward to the summer break?” Hallie was booked into a dance and drama camp and Hamish would also attend a summer camp to enable Lachlan to continue to work. He pushed aside the smidgen of guilt that sneaked into his heart at this, but he knew the kids would have a ball, much more fun than if they were stuck at home or the restaurant with him.
“Maybe.”
Feeling defeated, Lachlan looked to his son. “What about you? Ready for vacation?”
But rather than answering the question, Hamish pointed his finger toward the river and shrieked, “Hey. Isn’t that ’liza?”
Hallie spun around and her face lit up for the first time that day. Before Lachlan could stop her, she’d scrambled to her feet and was racing off toward the riverbank in the direction of a woman who was, if not Eliza, then her doppelgänger. A tingle pulsed beneath his rib cage as he registered her sitting on the grass, her knees against her chest and her arms wrapped around them as she looked longingly into the distance.
>
He hadn’t expected to see her today and his body reacted predictably at the sight of Eliza in denim cutoff shorts that highlighted her tanned, shapely legs, a pink fitted T-shirt and a cap that held her gorgeous brown hair captive, but the jolt of attraction waned as he followed her gaze to the playground. The playground full of toddlers with their smiley parents helping them navigate equipment they weren’t quite ready for.
Did any of those children look like Jack?
He didn’t know, because Eliza hadn’t told him anything else about her son. He’d tried to bring him up a couple of times when they were alone, but they were alone so infrequently and when they were, she usually brushed him off, using sex to distract him.
The sex was off the charts—better than any sex he’d ever had, which is why he was so easily distracted—but you didn’t need a psychology degree to know she was using it to try to ease her pain. He was happy to help her in any way he could, but all the books he’d read about grief indicated that this was an avoidance tactic and that what people who suffered such a tragic loss really needed was to talk about it. To talk about the person who had passed.
He wondered if she’d ever had counseling or if she talked about Jack back in New York. He hoped so. The books encouraged friends of the bereaved to speak about their dead loved one, but he didn’t even know if Eliza classified him as a friend.
And that hurt, because he wanted to be her friend.
“Are you coming to see ’liza?” Hamish asked, and Lachlan realized that while he’d been pontificating on grief, his son had pulled himself up with his crutches. Hamish started off after Hallie before Lachlan had a chance to reply.
He stood, thinking that he’d better rescue Eliza from his excitable offspring. They didn’t know about Jack so they were liable to say something to upset her. As he thought this, he suddenly realized that he was doing exactly what she said people did—second-guessing her feelings. But he’d seen the sad expression on her face as she’d watched the kids playing and he couldn’t help wanting to protect her.
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