Suddenly registering the expression on her face, he stopped rambling and realized that the best-case scenario to his declaration of love was one of her own, but maybe she was overwhelmed by everything.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “we can talk about all this tomorrow but for now—”
She interrupted, once again pushing his hand off her, “You’re acting like we’re keeping it.”
He blinked, confused.
“How could you think I’d be happy about this?” she cried, jumping to her feet.
Lachlan flinched at her harsh words. A baby might not have been in their plans but not for a second would he ever want to get rid of it. Hallie and Hamish were hard work at times but they were also absolute blessings and he’d never once regretted his and Linda’s decision to have them.
Is that what she meant? She might not want to go through with the pregnancy. His gut churned at the thought and suddenly Eliza looked more like Linda to him than she ever had before.
“What do you mean?” He couldn’t help his icy tone.
She threw up her hands in the air and shouted, “I don’t know! I need some time. I need to think about all this.”
“Time?” His heart quaked.
“Yes. You promised that you’d give me space if I needed it.”
It took a couple of seconds for him to recall the vow he’d made in the early hours of the morning when she’d finally talked properly to him about Jack. But this was different. There was another baby involved now. His baby. A child he’d known about less than half an hour but would already do anything to protect.
“This has nothing to do with Jack,” he growled.
“It has everything to do with Jack,” she countered. “And I’m done talking about this with you right now. Your truck keys are on the table by the door. I’d like you to leave.”
As hard as it had been to let her go that afternoon in the garage when he’d first found out about Jack’s death, it was a hundred times harder to walk away now. He’d never felt more conflicted. He was angry and scared but also worried about her. He didn’t want to leave her in this state but it was late, he was losing his cool and maybe they could both do with a little space.
Reluctantly, he pushed to a stand and stared her right in the eye. “Okay. I’ll go now. But promise me you won’t do anything drastic before talking to me.”
She took a long moment to reply. Then she said, “I’ll talk to you later.”
It wasn’t lost on him that she didn’t promise him anything and, as he scooped up his keys and headed out to his truck, he fought the urge to turn around and beg her.
Chapter Seventeen
When the plane touched down at JFK airport, Eliza did not feel like she’d come home but she hadn’t known where else to go. She hadn’t told Grammy, Dad or anyone that she was coming as she didn’t want a big welcome at the airport, where she was liable to fall apart. She still wasn’t sure whether she was going to tell her family about being pregnant, but she hadn’t been able to stay in Jewell Rock a moment longer.
Although Lachlan had let her be last night, she wouldn’t be able to think straight seeing him day-to-day and she didn’t know how long he’d be able to resist making her talk about their “situation.” As everyone around her unclicked their seat belts and bolted upright to scramble in the overhead compartments for their things, Eliza switched her phone on and held her breath as she waited for the inevitable.
Sure enough, within seconds, a message arrived in reply to the one she’d sent Lachlan just before she’d switched off her cell for takeoff, telling him she wouldn’t be coming into work for a few days.
I wish you would talk to me.
She read his reply three times and her heart squeezed with the knowledge she was hurting him. The expression on his face when she’d told him she didn’t know if she wanted the baby was still as clear in her mind as if he were standing in front of her now, but he couldn’t understand how she felt.
Should she reply or should she just leave it?
“Are you going to get up?” came a grumpy voice from beside her. She turned to see the guy who’d been sitting in the window seat glaring at her.
“Sorry,” she said, grabbing her purse from beneath the seat in front of her and shoving her phone inside it. Then she unbuckled her belt and rushed to stand, joining the line of passengers slowly shuffling out of the plane.
As she followed the crowds toward the arrival area and then waited by the luggage carousel for her stuff, she noted how crowded this airport was in comparison to the quiet one she’d left only seven hours ago. She’d never really thought about how busy New York was before, but as people bustled around her now, pushing and shoving in an aim to get their things, she wished they would all just disappear.
She’d hoped for silence when she got into a cab but was cursed with a chatty driver. In the end, she told him that she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to talk and he accepted that, so when they arrived at her destination, she thanked him with a generous tip.
“Not a problem. Hope you’re feeling better soon,” he replied as he lifted her suitcase out of the trunk.
“Thanks.” She forced a smile when the last thing she felt like doing was smiling and then let herself into the apartment building that had been her home less than two months ago. It felt like a lifetime ago.
When she got to her grandmother’s door, she knocked loudly to announce herself in case Grammy had a gentleman guest. When there was no reply, she used her key and pushed open the door. The apartment was deserted except for the lingering scent of Grammy’s perfume. Usually Eliza liked it but today the aroma went straight to her stomach, so she dumped her things and rushed to the bathroom.
As she emerged five minutes later and went to get herself a drink of water, she wasn’t sure whether she was happy for her grandmother’s absence. Part of her longed for the comforting embrace that only Grammy could give, but another part of her just wanted to be alone. Perhaps she should have gone to a hotel instead or maybe flown somewhere else entirely but when she’d headed to the airport that morning to catch a flight, she hadn’t been thinking straight.
Although mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted, she hadn’t slept a wink last night or on the plane. Now, standing in the kitchen, her eyes started to droop and she thought if she didn’t go to bed, her grandmother might return later to find her asleep on the kitchen floor. With that thought, she found a piece of paper and scribbled a note to leave in an obvious place on the counter in case she actually did achieve slumber before Grammy got home.
Surprise. Came back for a few days’ break and am exhausted after an early flight. See you in the morning. xx
Eliza
Then she took herself off to the spare room, which still had much of her stuff in it from when she’d moved in earlier in the year, pulled back the covers on the bed and buried herself beneath them.
* * *
Lachlan stared at the roster for the next week and found he wanted to screw it up and hurl it across the restaurant. Five days since Eliza had gone home sick. Five days since he could think about nothing but what she’d told him. Five days since they’d been understaffed.
With a sigh, he dragged his phone out of his pocket and glanced down at the screen for what had to be the five thousandth time. She hadn’t replied to the message. His knocks went unanswered but he hadn’t even contemplated the fact she’d left town until one of her neighbors saw him turning away from her door and told him she’d seen Eliza get in a cab a couple of mornings ago and didn’t think she’d been back since.
He passed his phone from hand to hand, wondering if he should try to call her or message her again. Surely she knew how unfair she was being to him—not only because he didn’t know whether he should be looking for another head hostess for the restaurant but because every waking hour, he tortured himself with one quest
ion.
Is she still pregnant?
For someone who hadn’t imagined ever having more kids, the thought that she might not be haunted him and left his heart cold. But the fact that she’d refused to talk and had shut him out so completely hurt even more. And he missed her more than he thought it possible to ever miss anybody.
He tortured himself with what-ifs and if-onlys. If only...he’d been more gentle with her the night she’d told him. He’d been in shock but he should have realized how hard this would be for her after losing her son not so long ago. Could he have done something, said something different? Unprepared for this news, he possibly hadn’t handled the situation as carefully as he should have.
A shadow appeared in the doorway to the restaurant’s office and Lachlan glanced up from behind the desk, thinking it was one of his employees. He was about to bark an order for them to get back to work, but he shut his mouth when he saw his older brother standing there instead.
Without a word, Callum stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. In his hand, he held a bottle of McKinnel’s finest and two glass tumblers.
“Oh, boy, this looks serious,” Lachlan said as Callum lowered himself onto the seat on the other side of the desk. “Is this an official visit?”
Callum had a look of consternation on his face as he unscrewed the lid on the bottle. “I guess you could call it an intervention and I’m here in two capacities—that of your older, wiser brother and also that of the director of this distillery.”
“I see,” Lachlan said, watching his brother pour amber fluid into the two glasses. When Callum pushed one toward him, he lifted it to his mouth and took a sip. Why not?
Callum echoed the action, but when Lachlan took another, his brother put his glass back down on the desk and made an appreciative noise with their tongue. “Man, we’re good,” he said, nodding toward the bottle.
“We are,” Lachlan agreed, although he got the feeling Callum wasn’t here to praise their product, and besides, nothing tasted that great at the moment. “What can I do for you?”
Callum leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head. Although his posture gave off an air of ease, the expression on his face did not. “You can cut the crap and tell me what’s really going on with you and Eliza.”
“What are you talking about?” Lachlan asked. He’d told his family and the restaurant staff that there’d been a family emergency in New York, which meant Eliza had to go back there for a while. At least, that’s where he guessed she’d gone. “I told you, she’s visiting her family.”
Callum’s eyebrows stretched up to his hairline. “You are quite possibly the worst liar I’ve ever known. If this wasn’t affecting the restaurant, I’d mind my own business and tell Mom to mind hers as well, but as it is, I can’t. We all know Eliza hasn’t gone back to New York for a family emergency—if that were the case, you wouldn’t be charging around like a wounded bear and Sophie wouldn’t have been fielding complaints from your staff about you being grouchy and unreasonable.”
“What?”
Callum nodded gravely. “She wouldn’t tell me names but your crew aren’t happy campers at the moment and that’s not good for business.”
So much of the staff was Eliza’s, too. In such a short time, so much of his had become theirs. And right now, he didn’t really give a damn about business but he guessed that wasn’t the answer Callum was looking for. He sighed and took another sip of whiskey. Maybe he should bring Callum into his confidence—he’d had more experience dealing with the fairer sex than Lachlan had lately.
“Eliza’s pregnant,” he blurted.
“Holy shit. That was fast.” Callum chuckled and then grinned. “Congratulations. There must be something in the water round here.”
“That’s what I said, too,” Lachlan replied, “but hold the congratulations.”
Callum’s smile faded. “So this is why she went back to New York? I know you might not have been planning a baby so soon but surely it’s good news?”
“I don’t even know if she is in New York,” Lachlan admitted. “All I know is that she isn’t here and wherever she is, the last time I saw her, she told me she was pregnant but that she wasn’t sure whether she could go through with the pregnancy.”
Callum frowned. “Jeez. Wanna talk about it?”
Lachlan hesitated a few moments. Despite everything, he didn’t want to break the promise he’d given to Eliza not to tell anyone about Jack. But then again, maybe being older really did make Callum wiser, and thus maybe he’d be able to help. He leaned forward and refilled his glass.
“Eliza recently lost a child,” he began and Callum listened intently without saying a word as Lachlan filled him in. “She came to Jewell Rock for a fresh start, so it took ages before she opened up to me about any of this. She’s still hurting so badly.”
Callum finally spoke. “I haven’t even met my kid yet and already I can imagine the pain I’d feel if we lost it. I’m not sure losing a child is something you ever stop hurting from. Being pregnant has probably—”
“I know. I get that,” Lachlan interrupted, feeling the frustration rise within him again. “Even agreeing to start a relationship was a massive thing for her. We definitely didn’t plan this pregnancy but her shutting me out is killing me. I don’t seem to be a very good judge of character when it comes to women.”
“This isn’t about you. And don’t be an ass by comparing Eliza to Linda. Even I can see they’re totally different people. From what you’ve told me, she’s obviously terrified of being a mother, of feeling such intense love and then losing it all over again.”
Lachlan threw his hands up in the air. Eliza might not be Linda and maybe Callum was right, but he was still at a loss as to how to handle her or the situation. “Even if that is the case, what can I do about it?”
“Do you love her?” Callum asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you want this baby?”
“Yes.”
Callum nodded once slowly. “Then there’s your answer. You need to do whatever it takes to make her feel safe—you need to make Eliza feel like she has options.”
“And what if she doesn’t want any of us? The baby or me? Hallie or Hamish?”
Callum shrugged. “You’re already a single dad. And a good one. You might not want to do it alone, but you can, and any child would be lucky to have you.”
If only it were as simple as Callum made it sound. “How am I supposed to achieve any of that when she won’t talk to me? She won’t even answer my messages, never mind her phone. I can’t force her to talk to me.”
“Not sitting there behind your desk feeling sorry for yourself, you can’t. But you can show her how much she and the baby matter by going to her. Don’t leave her to go through this all alone, even if that’s what she thinks she wants. Sometimes in life, you’ve got to fight for what’s important, little brother.”
“Even if what’s important is in New York—and I can’t be certain about that—I can’t just go there.”
“Why not?” Callum challenged with another irritating shrug of his shoulders.
“Because I can’t just leave Hallie and Hamish. And what about the restaurant?”
Callum shook his head. “Hallie and Hamish will be fine with us and what’s your priority? Your love for Eliza or your career?”
The answer came quick and easy. “Eliza, of course.” In a matter of weeks, she’d become one of the most important people in his world, along with Hallie and Hamish, and the last five days without her in it had been hell. “But I thought as director of this distillery and therefore my boss, you might be against me rushing off to New York. Especially when the head hostess is missing, as well.”
As he said these words, he realized this was what he’d wanted to do since he’d turned up at her apartment and found her gone.
“I�
��m your big brother first and your boss second. Family trumps work every time, buddy, and I believe that you and Eliza have what it takes to make a beautiful family. Chelsea had some restaurant experience years ago, she can help out in front of house and you’ve got a very capable assistant chef. We’ll be fine.”
Something a little like hope kicked over in Lachlan’s heart. “Are you sure?” he asked.
Callum grinned again and nodded. “What are you waiting for?”
Chapter Eighteen
I should have cancelled, Eliza thought as she walked through Central Park to meet Lilly for lunch at Tavern on the Green. Perhaps it wasn’t too late. She couldn’t imagine she’d be very good company. But Grammy had apparently run into Lilly at Macy’s yesterday and let slip that Eliza was back.
Her friend had been extremely hurt that she hadn’t called her and had been on the phone immediately, reprimanding Eliza for not telling her she was home and demanding they catch up for her to dish the dirt.
She already felt enough guilt over leaving Lachlan in the lurch and she didn’t need to add being a bad friend to her list of sins, so she’d agreed to a lunch date. After five days of thinking time, her thoughts were no clearer in her head than they were when she’d left Jewell Rock. She missed Lachlan so much that she found herself watching Mary Poppins to feel close to him. But every time a wave of morning sickness came over her, her whole body filled with a crippling terror and the thought of facing him left her shaking in her shoes.
She’d decided maybe a little fresh air would help.
Yet now as she walked along the paths toward her destination, she remembered why she favored being a hermit. When you were upset about something, life had a habit of flaunting it in your face. Today, everywhere she looked, there were couples in love, young moms jogging with strollers or pregnant women tenderly caressing their blossoming bellies.
The Single Dad's Family Recipe Page 17