The Undead That Saved Christmas

by ed. Lyle Perez-Tinics

  Rudolph the Zombie Reindeer,

  Had two very shiny eyes.

  And if you ever saw them,

  It probably meant that you would die.

  All of the other reindeer,

  Now gave him respect instead.

  They didn’t want zombie Rudolph,

  To also make them into undead.

  Then one scary Christmas Eve,

  Santa had to say,

  “Rudolph, with your glowing red eyes,

  Help me guide my sleigh tonight!”

  All of the Workshop feared him,

  But kept on building toys and trains.

  Because they knew if they didn't,

  Undead Rudolph would eat their brains!

  Story Art Cover

  By Chris Williams

  http://www.DeadMeatNovel.com

  Dedication

  To Brother D - Thank you for the encouragement and advice to help me bring this story to paper. I'm proud to call you my friend.

  Author Bio

  Scott, a.k.a Need a Nickname Scott, lives with his wife Tracey in West Lafayette, Indiana. This first time author is the host of the Zombie Beat news section of the Mail Order Zombie podcast, (www.mailorderzombie.com). Scott has appeared on this program since April 2009. Besides the news, Scott has provided several reviews and sketches on the podcast and was voted Voice of the Mail Order Zombie family in Feb 2010.

  Zombies are not his only passion. Scott and Tracey started a bi-weekly podcast on all things Disney in July 2008 entitled Disney, Indiana (www.disneyindiana.com). They have visited both Disneyland and Walt Disney World over 15 times in their 17 years together.

  Santa’s Helpers

  By Scott Morris

  The sign read Wyoming Federal Penitentiary, well at least it used to. Over the top someone had spray painted “Welcome to Yorktown”. Ezekiel knew that no amount of spray paint would change things, this place was still a prison. He had been born here, 14 years ago, part of the first generation born after everyone took shelter from the rise of the Munchers.

  Zeke had often heard of the world before them, the world the elders grew up in. He wished he could have lived in that world instead of this one. He doesn’t know what happened to that world, none of the sixty families living in Yorktown do. Zeke and his family just try to make this one as livable as possible.

  Staring at the sign, Zeke heard the school bell ring; he was late to class again.

  “Welcome Zeke, glad to see you could join us for history class,” said Mr. Williams, as Zeke walked into the former prison's visitor’s area, now the compound’s one room schoolhouse.

  “Sorry Mr. Williams, it won’t happen again”

  Mr. Williams replied, “That’s the fifth time this month you’ve been late. I’d like you to stay after class please, Zeke”.

  “You are in trouble now buddy,” said Ruth, as Zeke took his seat, “You know Santa’s watching.”

  Mr. Williams’ lesson was the American Revolution and the birth of the United States, something Zeke found utterly boring. After class, Zeke remained in his seat as his classmates filed out.

  “You know son, you need to show more interest in your class work and arrive on time,” started Mr. Williams.

  “What’s the point,” blurted Zeke, “really, learning about American Revolution isn’t going to help us today, besides the United States doesn’t even exist! Who cares whether a king or president was in charge when you are cold, hungry and have never ending chores to do?”

  Mr. Williams slowly walked toward Zeke’s desk and placed his hand on Zeke’s shoulder. “Zeke, you want to be careful this time of year. You know Santa is watching.”

  “I know, Mr. Williams, I know. I shouldn’t have said that.” Zeke replied, not really meaning those words.

  “Well, just remember it’s the start of December and he’s out there - you better stay on the straight and narrow. Now get on back to your family, I’m sure you’ve got chores to do,” replied the teacher.

  Zeke put on his coat and left the former visitor’s center to face the cold. He sighed as he stepped outside... it was pointless to argue with Mr. Williams.

  The teacher wouldn’t change his story about Santa; none of the adults would. All the kids grew up being told that Santa brought presents to good children and did... something ...with the bad ones.

  Last holiday season, around the 5th or 6th of December, one of Zeke’s classmates vanished. Her name was Anna and she was a year younger than Zeke. He knew of the girl, but they weren’t that close. Anna cut school quite a bit, preferring to hang out near the barns, bully the younger kids and flirt with the younger men. They also said that Anna didn’t help out with her folks in the gardens or bothered to learn to shoot. Zeke often wondered what really happened. Of course, all the elders would just say she was naughty, so Santa took her.

  Strangely enough, that wasn’t the only disappearance. Around the same time it seemed the numbers of Munchers outside the fence dwindled. Nobody could say exactly how many, but after so many years of watching the perimeters, some of the sharp shooters could recognize the clothing of the Munchers, and even gave them nicknames. Zeke’s older brother, Ben, was one of the guards that swore some of them went missing about the same time Anna did. Most people figured they wandered away or finally fell apart, but the one Ben remembered - FlannelMan, was still in good shape when he disappeared.

  Once Zeke got home, his mother was waiting for him.

  “Son, you need to help your sister outside - the animals need feeding and you promised you’d clear the path to the tower last night. Remember what time of year this happens to be. He’s watching you.”

  “Alright mom, I’ll go get the shovel,” replied Zeke, not really wanting to argue the Santa point any more.

  “Son, you need to be more responsible - I don’t want to see you ... go away,” said his mother. Zeke could hear the slight fear in her voice as he went back outside to clear the path.

  Later that evening, Zeke was just starting to fall asleep in his bed. He had finished the path, and was tired. That’s when he heard the bells. Faintly at first, but getting closer. They almost seemed to enter the room with him, then he realized the sound was just outside the barred window. He looked out and could not believe his eyes.

  There in the newly falling snow, just inside the perimeter fence was a sleigh, a team of reindeer and a very large man dressed in all red. It was Santa, but not like the picture books his family had shown him all these years. He was still dressed in red fur, from his head to his foot, and on his chin was that beard as white as snow - just like in the stories. But he was also wearing a fully stocked bandolier around his chest and a high powered rifle slung over his shoulder.

  The sleigh itself was different as well. Much larger than in the storybooks, with most of the back end covered. To be honest, it looked more like a shipping container with an outside bench where Santa sat and two large runners underneath. Instead of eight tiny reindeer, there had to be at least twenty big brutes pulling that sleigh. And not a red nose among them.

  Santa jumped nimbly down from his perch and went about feeding his reindeer team. Zeke couldn’t stop staring. Where had they come from? The reindeer and sleigh tracks only started about 15 yards behind where they were standing, and there had been no alarm or gunshots... Once St. Nick finished, he turned and faced Zeke’s window.

  “Happy Holidays Zeke, could you please come out here with me,” said Santa.

  Zeke felt compelled to obey the man, though he didn’t know why, so he got dressed quickly and made his way outside to the sleigh.

  “Who are you? What are you doing here?” asked Zeke, rather meekly.

  “Me? Well, I’m Santa Claus, of course! And, I’m here for you my boy. Now hop up there on the sleigh, we’ve got a lot more stops to make before day break.”

  Without really knowing what he was doing, or why, Zeke jumped up on the bench next to Santa. He glanced behind him to see something moving through the steel me
sh covering the rear of the sleigh and he nearly bolted.

  “Santa, you’ve got… you’ve got a Muncher in there.” cried out Zeke.

  “Don’t worry about him Zeke - I need him and he won’t bother you. I’ve got him chained to the wall,” Santa calmly replied.

  As Zeke sat down in the sleigh, the Muncher attempted to lunge at him and Zeke jerked back. But the chains that held the Muncher did their job and held the creature to the wall of the sleigh.

  Santa sat next to Zeke, chucked the reins and they began to move, then flew into the cold night sky. “Wait a minute, fly?” Zeke thought, “We’re really flying?” The child in him stared in wonder out into the night sky, while the rest of him gripped the bench seat tightly.

  After a few moments Zeke looked out over the darkened landscape below, repulsed by what he saw. Most of the world looked dead. Large groups of Munchers hung around in packs, wandering the countryside. Burned buildings and abandoned autos littered the landscape. Zeke had never realized the world was so big, or so empty.

  “Where are we going?” he asked Santa.

  “I need to pick up a few more guests and then head back to the workshop. We’ve got a lot of work to finish, Christmas is only 18 days away you know,” said St. Nick, “Just sit back and relax, we are coming up on our next stop.

  The sleigh banked slightly to the right and began to descend. Zeke could make out a large building surrounded by fencing. He knew there were other people still alive in the world, his uncle had an old style emergency radio that worked with a hand crank and they would pick up signals from time to time, but he’d never actually seen any other homestead before. This compound didn’t look like the prison he’d being living in; the towers built here were obviously installed at a later time. Zeke guessed that whoever was living here added those after they took it over.

  The sleigh made a soft landing near the largest building and Santa leaped down off the bench.

  “Zeke, there’s some carrots in a cooler behind your seat. Could you please get some out and give the reindeer a snack? I’ll be right back.”

  Zeke jumped off the sleigh and began to pass out the carrots to the team. It reminded him of feeding the horses and cows back home. Normally he hated that chore, but now it made him feel a little homesick. Zeke was just finishing up his task when Santa returned, but he wasn’t alone.

  “Zeke, I’d like you to meet William, he’s going to join us on our journey. William, this is Zeke,” Santa said as the two boys met each other, “Now let’s climb on board, we need to be leaving.”

  The boys and Father Christmas climbed back into the sleigh and once again they were off into the night sky. Zeke looked at William and smiled, but William just wrinkled his nose and stared off into space.

  “Boys, I have one more stop to make before our final destination and it’s not going to be an easy one. Can you handle guns? I need to make sure my reindeer are protected.”

  “Yeah, my dad’s been teaching me to use a pistol to off those scum-sucking Uglies,“ responded William.

  “Uglies?” Zeke questioned.

  “You know, those things that are trying to eat us out there,” snapped William. “Like the fat man said, can you handle yourself with a gun?”

  “I’ve been trained on shotguns and do ok with target practice,” added Zeke.

  “Very well, we’re almost there, hang on.”

  The sleigh made a quick bank to the left and descended upon a large city. The boys knew this was not a good idea, but they were helpless to do anything. They came to rest near what looked to be a large grandstand.

  As St. Nick climbed down, he said, “Boys, you’ll find two pistols in that metal box under William’s feet. Protect my reindeer team or you’ll never get out of here. There shouldn’t be too many Munchers around here, since this infield area is surrounded by fencing, but you can never be too sure.”

  Santa went to the back of the sleigh and got a large, wheeled steel cage out and pushed it in front of him and into the darkness.

  “What the hell is going on here? This can’t be happening. Santa’s a crock of lies!” blurted out William, as soon as the jolly fat man was out of earshot.

  “I wish I knew,” replied Zeke, “this all seems very real to me.”

  “Well, I’m not buying it. Zeke, right? I’ve been told for years to straighten up and behave or Santa would get me. Why are so many of the grownups still trying to make us believe in Santa when the entire world has checked out?” William grumbled.

  “I’m not sure William, but right now we need to keep an eye out for these reindeer. Do you have any idea where we are?” replied Zeke, as he tried to make out his surroundings.

  Luckily, the sky was clear and it was a full moon. The boys were able to read most of the signs around, and there were a lot of them. Welcome race fans and something they couldn’t quite make out claiming to be the ‘official beer of the Indy 500’. Zeke got concerned when he saw a sign that said something about a SnakePit - he hated snakes!

  William pointed to a faded poster of a bikini-clad woman wearing a t-shirt and orange shorts. “Check out the hooters on her, huh? Man, none of the girls where I live look like that!” Zeke just rolled his eyes and kept a lookout.

  Just then, the boys heard the wheels of the cage that Santa had taken with him along with the unmistakable moaning of a Muncher.

  “Boys, I need your help to push this cage up the ramp and get it locked away,” yelled Santa, as he neared the boys.

  Doing what they were told, the boys jumped out - frightened to be so close to a Muncher, yet even more frightened to disobey. Santa secured their new passenger and went back for more. He repeated this task eight or nine more times, often with a couple of undead in the cage. The back of the sled quickly filled up with Munchers who were not too happy about being chained to the sides.

  As Santa and the boys got ready to leave, William spoke up, “Dude, you are crazy going after those things all by yourself. Aren’t you afraid they’ll eat you?”

  “Well William, those things aren’t interested in me. I’ve been around for thousands of years and I guess they don’t have a taste for aged meat,” Santa said with a laugh.

  “Then why do you carry the guns?” questioned Zeke.

  “The reindeer, I’ve lost several good beasts to those things, and I use the guns to protect them.” answered St. Nick.

  William then looked at Santa, as if he’d lost his mind and grilled him with, “Then why do you mess with the Munchers? Even if I were immune from those damned things, I’d still stay away!”

  “All in good time my boy, all in good time. We best be off, we need to head back to my workshop, I’ve got some things to show you two.”

  The rest of the flight was uneventful, Zeke spent his time looking down on the Earth below. It was dark and cold without many signs of life. All that he could see was an occasional bonfire or torch light.

  After about seven hours in the sleigh, Zeke spotted the last thing he thought he’d ever see in real life again - electric lights. In fact on the horizon ahead was a brightly lit campus in the middle of a snow covered wasteland. In the center of the lighted area was a very colorful building that reminded Zeke of gingerbread houses from his grandmother’s cookbooks. He saw a lot of activity around this building, as people were going in and out carrying boxes and supplies.

  As they got past the lights, another much larger building was coming into view. This building was the complete opposite of the first. It looked cold and industrial, made all of metal with no windows and only one door. It was easily 10 times larger than the other building and there was no activity around it, just wires running back to the brightly lit area.

  The sleigh started its descent just past a control tower outside the colorful building and came to a stop near a large barn. A team of small people - elves, Zeke guessed - met the sleigh and started to unhook the reindeer team. Santa and the boys climbed down off the sleigh and were met by a couple of very muscular, armed elves.


  “Welcome back, Santa,” one of them spoke.

  “Thanks Evergreen, we’ve got a full load of helpers in the back, can you see to them as I give our guests the tour?”

  “Yes, sir, we’ll handle everything,” replied Evergreen, and the elves quickly went to the task of unloading the cages of Munchers in the back of the sleigh, and wheeling them off into the darkness.

  “Alright boys, welcome to the North Pole and my humble facilities here. This is where all the magic happens. Shall we start the tour in the workshop?” Santa directed the boys over to the brightly lit, gingerbread looking building where the elves bustled in and out. As the three of them entered, the boys could see rows and rows of elves at workstations hard at work building wooden trucks, sewing dolls, painting sleighs and various other toy making activities.

  “Boys, there it is, my workshop. My teams are hard at work getting ready for Christmas. Those toys will be going to all the deserving boys and girls all over the world,” St. Nick beamed.

  “I bet you don’t have to make as many as you used to!” William cracked.

  “You’d be surprised, son. There are still a lot of people out there and most of the boys and girls are good children. Christmas is still a very busy time for us and I hope it continues that way. It makes my jolly heart proud to know that we can still bring some joy into this world.” Santa said quickly. “Besides, it’s nice to get back to the old fashioned toys. I never did think much, of those electronic gadgets.”

  Zeke was in awe as he looked around at all the work being done. Then a puzzled look came across his face. “Santa,” he said, “where do you get your electricity? This workshop is brightly lit, the elves are using power tools and it’s nice and toasty warm in here. We have not had electricity at home for several years, since we ran out of gas for the generators.”