Hell Hounds Are for Suckers

by Jessica McBrayer

  “Traitor,” he said. Hades yipped quietly, which I appreciated as I’d left the fire extinguisher in the kitchen.

  “How long have you had Hades?” I used my dog’s name, refusing to relinquish my claim.

  “His name is Ares and I knew the bitch that he came from. Got him as soon as he was weaned.”

  “His name is Hades, isn’t that right, Hades?” Hades licked my hand.

  “I don’t care what the damn thing thinks. His name is Ares,” Diel shouted.

  Aidan rolled his eyes and held his hands up in the official time out signal.

  “Okay, you two. Take a break,” Aidan said. He was enjoying this. He is an energy addict and nothing gets his fires going like a little dust-up.

  Diel let out a big breath and cracked his neck. I huffed and went into the kitchen to make some coffee. Hades trotted in after me, close at my heels. I got some meat out of the fridge for him, gagging at the scent and was barely able to get it into his bowl before he started eating it. I felt Diel and Aidan come in behind me.

  “Let me make you some coffee, Hannah,” Aidan said summoning it for me.

  “Thanks, Aidan.”

  “Must be nice to have your djinn summon everything for you,” Diel snarked.

  Aidan’s eyes glowed. Before he did anything I stepped in.

  “Aidan is not my djinn. He is his own man. He is not bound to anyone.”

  “Sorry, my bad,” Diel grinned, enjoying the look on Aidan’s face.

  Aidan had said he was a Duke. A Duke of what, and where? I guess his arrogance came with the title. Well, he could take his title and shove it. I poured myself a cup of java and took a sip, relishing the smooth blend Aidan had conjured. This was top of the line coffee. I had to get the name of it, but he probably pulled it from the ether or wherever he got things.

  “I think it’s time you leave, Diel,” Aidan snapped, still smarting from the bound djinn insult.

  “Oh hell no, I’m not going anywhere without my hound.”

  “Well you’re not taking him with you,” I hissed. My fangs had descended and I was ready to kick some demon Duke butt.

  “I said it was time to go.” Aidan pointed at him and he popped Diel out of my kitchen. I gave Aidan a startled look.

  “Where’d you send him?” I asked.

  “Into the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge.”

  I started laughing and Aidan winked at me.

  CHAPTER 7

  Aidan watched Hades later that night while I went out hunting. I am a firm believer in “just a nip and a sip” when it comes to blood. The older a vampire gets, the less blood they need. I am young compared to Julian and Helena and even Sebastian is over three hundred years old. Only Lily is younger than I am so we both have to hunt more often than the old folks. I don’t need much but I’m very discriminating.

  I was lucky and nabbed a college kid right near the new stadium on the UC Berkeley campus. He was loaded and soon, so was I. It’s different for vampires than it is for humans. Where they get stupid, we get mellow and even-tempered. We don’t lose any of our acuity. I licked his wound and sent him on his even more enhanced way. Our serum is like that, just a dab’ll do ya’ and he wouldn’t remember a thing.

  I was feeling good and headed back for home. I was walking up my street when I felt a presence behind me. Before I could turn around I was jumped by a massive man, scratch that, demon.

  “Holy shit, Diel! Do you want to wake up the entire neighborhood?” I could feel that fine hard body on top of me and it felt good, dammit. It had been way too long.

  “That was some trick Aidan pulled this afternoon, ha ha. Now I want Ares back.”

  “Hades is mine.” My fangs were out and this time we were going to have it out. I kicked and moved lightning fast, getting up and out from under him. I stood in front of him crouched, ready for him to attack.

  “You don’t want to mess with a demon, Hannah,” he said with a grin. Ye gods he smelled good and that smile was just about my undoing. He moved fast but I was faster. He was stronger, though, and he had magick. He sent a pulse of energy at me and I was suddenly moving through molasses or what felt like it, though it was perfectly transparent. His little trick slowed me down enough for him to catch me. He gathered me up in his arms.

  He looked down at me with a commanding gaze. Like he knew what I needed and he wanted to give it to me. Damn those green, green eyes.

  “What am I going to do with you, you sassy little vamp?” He took a deep breath of my hair. A shiver ran through me.

  “Do with me? Don’t you mean what are we going to do about Hades?” I asked, pushing myself away.

  “Yes, that’s what I said.” Diel backtracked and gave his head a small shake.

  “That is so not what you said and I’m glad you’ve come around to calling him Hades.”

  “Wait, what do you mean? I did no such thing. His name is Ares, after the god of war. It’s a fitting name for a hell hound.”

  “So obvious. Hades is the god of hell, much more witty.” I continued walking towards my house and Diel followed. We argued the whole way back. Aidan opened the door before I could.

  “I heard you two a block away. No it’s Hades, no it’s Ares. No he’s mine, no he’s mine,” Aidan said.

  “Sorry, Aidan. We should’ve been quieter. How’s Hades been?”

  “He and I have been playing all night. He’s showed me one of his special tricks,” he informed us with a wry look on his face. “For instance, we went for a walk and his eyes would glow red until he mesmerized a pretty woman. She would approach and throw herself at me. It was rather amusing the first few times but after the eighth one I decided we needed to come home,” Aidan said shaking his head. He leaned back with his hands in his pockets and his legs crossed against the back of my couch.

  Diel laughed. It was the kind of laugh that was full and rich and sounded like a river rolling over a bed of smooth pebbles. I lost another moment of time.

  “That is one of his bloodline’s special tricks. Hell hounds like to mate up their owners,” Diel explained. “Of course, you’re not his owner. Miss Sassy Pants is confusing him with dragging strange men home to care for him.”

  Aidan raised his eyebrow and looked at me but didn’t say anything, which I appreciated. I imagine anything he said would have pissed me off. Although thinking about those women throwing themselves at Aidan was cracking me up on the inside. I would have to share it with Helena and Sebastian, who would especially appreciate it. I suspected Lily, not so much. Julian would be intrigued.

  Diel was still smiling when I turned and sneered at him.

  “What now?” he said.

  “I think it’s time you leave. I don’t appreciate being jumped from behind.”

  “That’s low, Diel. I hope you made it count,” Aidan said as he winked at him. I moved to smack Aidan but he transmanifested to the other side of the room. Diel smirked and high fived Aidan.

  “All right. I have so had enough testosterone for one evening, Hades excluded. Out! Both of you. I don’t care where you go, just out. Let a girl have her house back.”

  “Come on, Diel. I know a good pub close by,” Aidan said, clapping him on the back.

  Males and that instant bonding thing. So annoying!

  “Sounds like a plan,” Diel said.

  “Freaking traitor,” I hissed at Aidan. He just grinned.

  Hades bumped my hand with his head, wanting to be petted. I knelt down and rubbed his head.

  “Such a good hell hound, Hades. Don’t let those nasty boys upset you,” I crooned as they walked out my door. Good riddance. I didn’t want any part of the boys’ club tonight. Aidan can’t even drink beer. WTF?

  I went to my room t
hrowing clothes in the general vicinity of the hamper on my way to the bathroom. I needed a shower, especially after feeding and being tackled in the dirt. What was he thinking smelling my hair? It still gave me a shiver thinking about it. One minute he’s all kick ass and the next he’s breathing heavy on my neck. My kind of guy. But a demon? Can vampires even have sex with demons? Am I serious? After my shower I’m looking it up on Voogle, the vampire’s version of Google.

  Half-way through my shampoo, Hades jumped in the shower, scaring the crap out of me. His thick coat barely got wet. He started lapping at the water and trying to bite it. It made the rest of my shower interesting - and fast. When I got out, he followed me and before I could get a towel for him he shook all the water off, whisking it all over my bathroom. Note to self: shut bathroom door for future showers.

  I got dressed in some comfy pajamas, booted up my laptop. Logged into Voogle, entered a series of passwords and I was in. Now to look up demons and cross-reference them to vampires.

  I looked up Diel first. Every demon was registered in our database. It seems that he was in fact a Duke. He had several thousand lesser demons under him that could do his bidding. Impressive. His full name was Sihdiel. His special talent was finding treasure and lost things. No wonder he was able to track down Hades. Now to find out if it was possible to do the nasty with a demon.

  Voogle says that although it is rare, it is possible. It cautioned that a liaison with a demon was very powerful and could be addictive to both parties and not to be undertaken lightly. All righty then. He was immortal, check. On the other hand, was it a match? Other than his drool-worthiness, I knew nothing about him. Besides, Hades was immortal too and I’d never have to worry about him leaving me.

  Now that I knew the deed was possible, did I want to? I’d have to think about that. Right now the most important thing was convincing him that Hades was mine. Maybe we could come to some kind of compromise. He could have visitation rights as long as he gave up that ridiculous name.

  I called Hades. He dropped the cow femur he was chewing on and padded to me.

  “What do you think of you sharing time with me and Diel?” Hades green eyes glowed a red, lit by the fires of, well, hell. “Eeww creepy, buddy. But I guess that means you approve.” He nudged my hand until I petted him. I hugged him and loved on him until I was feeling less lonely. I think he liked it too, judging from all the wet kisses I got.

  “Come on, Hades. Let’s go to bed.”

  I dreamt of a large bronze-colored man with raven hair and bright green eyes.

  CHAPTER 8

  The next day I got dressed after I showered, with the door shut, when I heard a pounding at the front door. Diel had arrived. Everyone else used the doorbell. I threw open my front door with a snarl on my face.

  “Don’t you know how to use the doorbell?”

  “Oh, I didn’t know you had one,” he said sheepishly.

  “Well, I do. What do you want?” I concentrated on my grouch look, having perfected the expression from many years of Sesame Street. This look never fails to amuse—me. My mind wandered. Concentration wavered and images of Diel naked, beautiful green eyes sparkling and me running my hands through his hair. His hair, which he wore just long enough that it curled up at the ends. It looked so soft. Uh oh, I’d been staring too long. He was giving me that arrogant smirk. Like he knew what I was thinking.

  “Hm-mm…”

  “What?” I said.

  “Are you done staring?” he said.

  “I wasn’t staring.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “You’re so cocky,” I grouched, letting him inside. He made sure to brush against my body as he moved past me, igniting every nerve ending I possessed. Jerk.

  “I know when a woman is staring at me,” he said. He knelt down to rough house with Hades. Hades went to him easily today. Maybe our little chat had relieved his doggy mind. He seemed to enjoy playing with Diel instead of hiding behind me.

  Changing the subject. “Did you have a nice time with Aidan last night?”

  “Yeah, we ended up in a pub crawl in Ireland before the night was over. He’s a great guy. He talked about you most of the night,” he glanced at me casually, then seemed overly fascinated with my hound’s fur. Well, lookee there. I know when a man is checking out how short my tether is. Let him worry about Aidan’s interest. “You and someone called Lilith.” I let him wait a beat, the question he wanted to ask hovering in the air unspoken. I relented.

  “Lily is my best friend and the love of Aidan’s life. But unfortunately she is dating one of my other friends right now.”

  “Yeah, I believe Aidan called him the ‘French bastard.’” He laughed when he said it.

  I sighed - poor Aidan.

  “Sebastian’s really a nice guy, but Aidan will never forgive or forget that he is competition. Lily loves Aidan too and it’s complicated. I think if they didn’t have Lily to pine over they’d be good friends.”

  “What about you, Hannah? Anyone special in your life?” Diel asked casual again, not looking at me. He and Hades were played tug. Overly engrossed in what he was doing with my hound.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but no there isn’t,” I said, taking a seat in a Stickley dowel-back rocking chair. Antique, fits my butt like a spandex mini. I settled in, rocking, picking invisible lint off my hip-hugging jeans. “And you, tough guy, is there a she-demon in your life?”

  He hesitated. “No,” he said, looking away. Hmmm, highly suspicious.

  “Oh, that’s too bad.”

  “Why do you say that?” he asked. One of those irritating looks with a raised eyebrow and a lip twitch. Annoying.

  “Just making conversation.”

  “Uh huh,” he said, drawling out his answer. Mixed signals much?

  “Hades seems to like you again,” I said, changing to a more comfortable subject.

  “He does. I’ve got a theory about that. We really need to discuss his name, though.”

  “Nope, not up for discussion.”

  “Hannah, come on, be reasonable,” he wheedled. That must be a demon thing, I have to admit it made me want to help him out, for about three seconds and then reason reasserted itself. My name did sound nice in his brand of baritone, though.

  I turned and strolled to the kitchen, acting as if his machinations had no effect on me. But damn, he was making me think about pleasing him in ways that scared me. Don’t trust a man who knows how gorgeous he is, especially when that man is a demon. He left Hades in mid-tug and followed me. Throwing my five foot-one frame in his shadow. I love a big man, there’s something comforting about them. He laid his hand on my shoulder and I turned around and hissed at him. He removed it quickly, laughing. Show respect for the fang!

  “You’re quite the little hell cat. I like that in a woman.”

  “You’re still a cocky bastard,” I said. “Obnoxious in a man.” I went to put the kettle on for coffee. I got two cups down without asking him if he wanted any.

  I scooped grounds into my French press. Every time I performed this ritual I took a moment to savor the rich aroma of the freshly ground beans before pouring in the boiling water. I heard Diel making a satisfied sound and I smiled to myself. Even demons have their wicked pleasures.

  “How do you take your coffee?” I asked, looking over my shoulder.

  “Black, thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said primly.

  I poured the coffee and handed him a cup, one of my favorites with a delicate oriental pattern. I watched to see how he managed the dainty cup with his big hands. He managed. I scooped sugar into my cup, turns out quite a bit. It was even too much sugar for me - he was distracting, in a big way. I had been experimenting lately with different blends but I r
eally had to find out the name of the brand Aidan used - mine didn’t compare. Diel took a long sip and smiled a lascivious smile. At me. Made me think naughty things.

  “Great coffee,” he said.

  “Thank you, Aidan makes better,” I said, squirming a bit, then finally relaxing into a smile. Hell.

  “There’s a smile. You know how hard it is to get a smile out of you?”

  My lids dropped to half-mast and the smile turned into a frown. This guy was dangerous. Capital D dangerous.

  “And then it’s gone.” He sighed.

  “I have a proposal for you,” I said, leaning against my counter, sipping my morning ambrosia. It was time to move this visit along. “How about visitation rights?”

  “That has promise. What did you have in mind?” he said leaning his tall trim frame against the same counter. About four inches from my hip.

  “I haven’t thought that far ahead,” I admitted. The man was throwing off some heat. My almost unbeating heart gravitated towards heat. I remembered Lily talking about Aidan and how divine his heat was - a Djinn is a fire spirit too.

  He finished his coffee, setting it on the French tiles behind us.

  “When you figure it out, call me. Here’s my number. Call me anyway,” he said, softly, managing to put worlds of meaning into those few words. He brushed his fingers against mine as he handed me his card and gave me a long look.

  My mind flashed to my dream again. Ugh, I give myself half a century to wipe it out of my mind. His eyes twinkled and his bronze skin glowed. The temperature in the house went up. I wondered what having a fire element around the house could do to reduce my electric bill in the winter. He threw a grin over his shoulder before he went out the door. Damn. Strong, self-possessed and definitely sexy.

  I read his card. All it said was Diel with a number on it. Against my better judgment I added it to my contacts in my cell phone. Never know when I would need the devil.