by Dee Burks
Something just didn’t fit. When Taos had touched her, he seemed to like it as much as she did. Could she have been wrong about that? “Why would women do this at all?” The question slipped past Samantha’s lips before she thought.
Cinnamon and Mavis stared at her.
Cinnamon chuckled, “I explained how it works, but I guess I left out how it feels. When it’s done right, that is.”
Cinnamon’s knowing smile had Samantha’s full attention, but Sage looked like she wanted to crawl under the chair.
“Do I have to listen to this, it’s disgusting!” Sage dropped her head to her knees.
“Oh this is the best part!” Cinnamon patted Sage’s arm. She seemed to enjoy torturing the girl.
As Cinnamon described the kind of pleasure possible, Samantha’s imagination took her back to Taos. She thought of the feel of his lips on hers, her hands on him, his hands on her. Her skin tingled in the strangest way. It was exactly what Cinnamon described, and the thought of feeling that surge of warmth roll through her again was intoxicating.
“If you don’t mind my asking, dear, who is this man you’re trying to convince?” She was startled from her thoughts as Mavis looked at her with intense curiosity.
“Taos Williams.”
Mavis’ eyebrows lifted slightly .
Cinnamon snorted. “He’s definitely not on the short list!” She slid a long finger against her dark red lips. “But Charlie, now that’s a different story.”
“They both come here?” Mental images of Taos and Cinnamon doing the things she had just learned about tumbled through her mind, and Samantha had a sudden urge to scratch her eyes out. Mavis gazed at Samantha with a knowing look that made Samantha realize she must try to hide her emotions more. The woman was a mind reader.
Cinnamon, however, was oblivious to her discomfort. “They’re not my regulars, so I only know what the others tell me. From what I hear, Taos hasn’t been around in a very long time. When he is here, he just takes care of business and is gone. Not much to say about him.”
Samantha cast a relieved look toward Mavis who smiled.
“Charlie is one of Raven’s regulars. He would be at the very top of the short list. To hear Raven tell it, he’s quite the lover.”
Samantha noticed the time as the large clock on the mantle chimed. “Oh no, I have to go. Charlie is probably looking for me right now.” She fumbled with her purse. “How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing.” Mavis smiled.
“But . . .”
“You’ve already paid us back several times over just by coming here.”
Cinnamon nodded her agreement, but Sage just dropped her head back to her knees.
A dusty cloud of frustrated fury burst into the room. All four women jumped to their feet and stared at Charlie.
“What in the hell are you doing in here, Sammy?” He grabbed her wrist and pulled.
Samantha was so surprised she tripped on her hem and nearly fell into him.
Sage rushed forward and stood directly in Charlie’s path, “You will not come into my parlor and behave like an animal.”
Charlie stopped short as he took her in. He caught sight of the rosary and cast a nervous look toward Cinnamon and Mavis. “Who’s the nun?”
Cinnamon snickered and Sage’s voice wavered a bit. “I’m not a nun. And if you have a question you can ask me yourself.”
“Better watch it, Charlie, she swings some mean beads.” Cinnamon received a reproachful glare from Mavis.
Charlie grinned at Sage, his anger temporarily replaced by his usual smooth charm. “I don’t usually come here to be beat up by a girl swinging beads, sweetheart.”
“I’m not your sweetheart.”
He reached out to touch her hair.
She batted his hand away. “And the only thing you will ever get from me is a beating, or worse.”
“We’ll have to see about that.” His eyes gleamed as they traveled down her body.
Sage stood her ground.
It had been better when she had no idea what men were thinking! Samantha tried to yank her wrist away but Charlie held tight, dragging her from the room and out the back door.
“Charlie!” She stumbled along behind him, trying to keep up as he hurried across the street.
He didn’t answer until they reached the wagon. “I can’t believe the amount of trouble one lone woman can stir up.” He plopped her in the wagon seat and walked around to climb up. “It was bad enough at the mercantile,” his voice dropped to a hiss as two women strolled by, “but Miss Sadie’s?”
“I had to—”
“Taos will beat me to a pulp if he hears about this. What if someone had seen you? What then?”
“No one—”
“I would love to know what goes through that mind of yours! You damn near start a cat fight with the self-proclaimed one woman morality committee, then you end up in a whore house.”
“I was just thinking—”
“What? What could you possibly have been thinking? You better tell me now, ’cause I don’t think I can take any more little surprises!”
The vein on Charlie’s forehead stood out just like Taos’s, but it seemed ridiculous on him. It was all she could do not to laugh. “I was just thinking how nice it is that you’re so quiet when you’re mad.”
He turned a frustrated look toward the sky as she lost the battle with her laughter. After a few minutes he joined in. He climbed into the wagon and sat next to her.
“So who was the nun?”
She shook her head. “You have a one-track mind!”
He winked and wiggled his eyebrows. “Yes ma’am.”
Charlie slapped the horses into a trot and steered the wagon for the edge of town as fast as he could without causing too much notice. He slowed only after they passed the last house.
“What is the matter with you?” Samantha’s hand still vibrated from holding onto the side of the wagon as it rattled through town.
“I didn’t want to give you any opportunity to jump out and cause any more trouble.”
“Honestly!” She turned away and stared unseeing at the countryside.
They rode in silence for a time, each immersed in their own thoughts. Samantha’s mind was focused on Taos. She knew a whole lot more about him than she had this morning, but it didn’t solve her problem. In fact it made it more complex. As rotten as he had been to her so far, she almost had the urge to go back and be nice to him. Almost.
She tried to imagine the kind of hurt he must have endured, living with a wife who tricked him into marriage, then left him to raise a child by himself. One child. He must have suffered horribly to lose a baby, then be blamed for it. According to Charlie, Taos hadn’t trusted anyone since. How lonely he must be.
A familiar feature in the landscape drew her attention.
“Charlie? Will you do me a favor?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want a worse pounding than I’m already in for.”
“That’s ridiculous. Besides, this won’t get you in any trouble.”
He cast a skeptical expression at her.
“Or me either. Really.” She pointed at a cabin partially hidden by a stand of trees. Her cabin. On her land.
Charlie nodded and turned the team toward the structure. As they approached, the house seemed much smaller than she remembered. The porch extended along the entire front of the house and a small barn sat just to the left. Samantha caught her breath at the sight of the yellow daffodils and bright pink tulips by the front steps. Her mother had them shipped from Boston the year before she died. Claire had worked so hard to make their home beautiful.
Charlie handed her down from the wagon and escorted her up the stone steps. The front door hinges squeaked, announcing their presence. Sunlight streamed into the room from the two large windows on the opposite wall. Few cabins had windows that large, and she remembered her father complained frequently about having to chop twice
as much wood to keep the place warm in the winter because of them. But Samantha knew deep down he loved to look out at the mountain view as much as her mother did. Many nights she’d awaken and looked over the loft railing just to see her parents snuggled together on the bench in front of those windows, gazing out at the beautiful snowfall.
Samantha walked around the room, running her fingers over each piece of furniture, the wide windowsills, the ladder to the loft she’d climbed hundreds of times. The table her father made for the three of them sat where it always had next to the small kitchen, the rocker that had been a gift from Aunt Mattie when Samantha was born remained on one side of the huge fireplace. The nails along the mantle where her mother hung flowers to dry were all still there.
She could almost feel her parents’ presence, as if her father would burst through the door any moment and swing her into his arms, or he mother’s lilting voice would ring out from the kitchen to let her know her favorite cookies were fresh from the oven. The whole cabin looked and felt as if they’d just left this morning to go into town and might be back at any moment.
The fact that they wouldn’t be here again, ever, stung Samantha’s heart and filled her eyes with tears. She heard Charlie shuffle over to the windows.
“Why is it so clean?” she asked. “Is someone living here?”
Charlie removed his hat and looked into one of the bedrooms. “We use it every so often. If we're branding on this place, it’s a lot easier to stay here than ride back home.” He leaned against the wall. “Taos pays an Indian woman to clean it and keep things in order. Darren stays here sometimes just to be alone, you know.”
Samantha nodded. She did know. When they were children, Darren would sometimes go weeks or months without speaking because someone made fun of his stuttering. It was barely noticeable now, but people don't forget. Darren cherished his solitude. She pulled back a lace curtain on the kitchen window. Two white headstones reflected the sun from the small hill behind the house. Nine years had passed, but the pain crushed her heart with the same force. She breathed deep to keep the tears from overwhelming her.
“Do you want to go alone?” Charlie asked.
She shook her head and walked toward the back door. He followed a short distance behind. Small red tulips peeked out from the base of both stones.
“Who planted these?”
“Taos. He thought you would have liked them.”
“I do.” She crossed her arms and stared at the flowers. What kind of man would do something so kind, knowing she might never see it?
After a few minutes Charlie spoke, almost to himself. “Dad said it was a freak accident. The horse stepped in a hole and rolled with him. It could have happened it anyone.” He paused. “She only lasted six months after he was killed.”
Samantha nodded, remembering Jake Williams at the door, covered in dirt from the spring roundup just as she’d seen him and her father so many times. But that day he had her father’s body wrapped in a blanket, draped over the saddle. She didn’t hear what Jake said, just watched from the window as her mother ran and pulled the blanket back. Clair stared into her husband’s unseeing eyes, then slid to her knees, inconsolable.
Samantha looked at the dates on the stones. Almost six months to the day separated them. That six months was the longest of her life as she watched her mother waste away. Nothing she tried made any difference. “I’ll never understand it. She just gave up. She wouldn’t eat or sleep. She just sat in that rocker like she expected him to walk through the door any minute.” Samantha picked a tulip and twirled it in her fingers. “How can you love someone so much that you would rather die than live without them?”
The familiar loneliness crept over her soul again. How could she have chosen to die with him rather than live with me? No amount of reasoning had ever provided an acceptable answer. She had stood here nine years ago, an orphan having just turned fourteen. She was angry. Very angry. Aunt Mattie had been so kind and tried her best to offer explanations, but nothing soothed the hurt. Finally Samantha became numb, and she stayed that way for a long time.
They spent a few more minutes at the small gravesite then returned to the wagon for the trip home. Samantha picked a bouquet of daffodils and tulips from the front of the house to take with them. She also took the crazy quilt from her parents’ room that her grandmother had made. Not that it was much, but it had been one of the things she missed the most when she left. It connected her to the women of her past somehow. Maybe it would give her a chance at the kind of love they had known.
Chapter 9
As the Williams house came into view, Samantha squinted against the warm sun of spring at the very large, black furry thing loping out to meet them.
“What is that?” She pointed hesitantly.
“Tommy’s dog. Hey, Jimbo!” The animal leapt toward the wagon while the horses danced and snorted. “Tommy put him in the barn last night before it rained.”
“That’s a dog?” It was homely, hairy, and huge.
“Oh, don’t worry. He’s friendly.” That seemed small comfort. The wagon pulled to a stop and Tommy rushed out of the house.
` “How about helping me unload, Squirt?” Charlie asked as he lifted Samantha down from the wagon. The boy nodded.
“Where’s your Pa?” Charlie hefted a large sack of flour and set it the porch. Tommy climbed into the wagon and peeked into some of the other packages.
“He saw you coming up the road and went to help Uncle Darren move the herd to new pasture. He said for you to come help when you got back.”
“You comin’ with me?” Charlie asked.
“No. He said I’d just be in the way.” Tommy’s shoulders drooped. He plopped down on top of a bag of cornmeal. “I’m seven now, and he said I could help when I was seven.” He scuffed his boot along the bed of the wagon. Large blue eyes stared off into the distance. “I guess he forgot.”
Samantha pursed her lips. How could anyone disappoint this little boy? Hadn’t he been through enough in his short life? It was a good thing Taos wasn’t there; he deserved a swift kick. Her inclination to be nice to the man shriveled a bit. She walked into Tommy’s line of sight and stood until he looked at her.
“You know the real reason he made you stay here?”
“’Cause I’m too little?” His soft voice shook with resignation.
“No, because someone needs to watch out for me. I get into lots of trouble when I’m by myself.”
“You’re gonna have your hands full too, Tommy.” Charlie winked at her. “She’s more trouble than a hundred mean steers in a stampede.”
Tommy jumped off the sack and then bounced onto the ground. “I can do that!” His words came faster and faster as the excitement took hold. “I get into trouble all the time. Why, I could show you lots of things you shouldn’t do.”
“I’d really appreciate that, Tommy.” She smiled, pulling packages off the end of the wagon for Tommy to carry as Charlie chuckled.
Samantha followed the boy inside and then motioned him upstairs, both of them struggling under a pile of bundles. He led her to the room that adjoined Taos’s.
“Girls sure have a lot of stuff!” Tommy dragged off his straw hat and wiped sweat from his face.
Samantha looked around the room. “Yes, they do.” Years ago this had been a large dressing room, but now it was definitely a woman’s room, with lace curtains and a pink quilt on the bed. While it was tiny, it was still functional. She frowned as her gaze settled on the adjoining door to Taos’s room. “Am I supposed to be in this room?”
“Yeah, Pa said. ’sides, all the others are full.” He flopped down on the bed, waiting for her to open the packages.
“Maybe I could just switch with someone?”
“Why?”
Yes, why? Simple question, complicated answer. She tried to think of a reason a child would believe. Besides the truth, that is. “Um, I don’t sleep very well, and I might wake your Pa up. Then he would get mad.”
Tommy
straightened to his full height. “Now that’s one of the first things I can help you learn.” He cleared his throat like a preacher instructing his flock. “When Pa says do something, it’s better to just do it then hope he changes his mind later. He’ll get lots madder if you don’t do what he says first.”
Hard to argue with the boy’s logic—not that she was under any illusions that Taos might change his mind. She would have to talk to him about the sleeping arrangements later. She didn’t think she could sleep knowing he was right on the other side of that door, and not because she didn’t trust him. She didn’t completely trust herself, especially after the instruction she’d received from Cinnamon. That could really complicate things. And things were already complicated enough as they were.
Samantha opened drawers in the dresser and armoire to find a place for all her purchases as Tommy sat back down on the bed. “Whose room did this used to be?”
“Nobody’s.”
“It had to be somebody’s.”
“Nope. Pa sleeps in there.” He pointed toward the adjoining door. “And Uncle Charlie and Darren have rooms across the hall. My room’s at the top of the stairs so I can make it to the outhouse fast.”
She turned away to keep from laughing. Well it’s practical I guess, but who would have slept here? Sharisse. Samantha shook off the strange feelings that name conjured up, a mixture of curiosity and irritation.
Charlie had said that Taos and his wife rarely shared a bed, so this must have been where she slept. What kind of woman had his mother been? The more time she spent with Tommy, the more the feeling turned toward disgust at the thought of her abandoning this child.
Samantha had purchased a few dresses to tide her over, and she pulled a lilac calico from the brown paper. She held it up. “What do you think?”
“It’s pretty, and not as dirty as the one you have on.”
“Thank you, I think. Why don’t you let me change, then you can show me around?”
He stared at her and waited.
“Can you wait in the hall?”
The boy blushed deeply and darted from the room, obviously not used to having a female in the house.