by Dee Burks
Samantha gathered her skirts and hurried after him. She rounded the doorway of her room just as he threw open the doors of the armoire. He grabbed fistfuls of her clothing and flung them onto the bed. “What are you doing?”
To think she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt! He was the one who wrote the letter, doubted her and her motives. How could he be so angry that she’d found it? She should be the one angry with him.
He continued to open drawers and add to the pile.
She walked directly in front of him. “I said,” her voice was a shrill siren, “what are you doing?” She grabbed a lacy garment from his hand.
“Helping you pack.” He hissed.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Yes you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
He turned a cold smile on her. “I’d say that in this case, lady, size matters and yes, you are leaving.” His long arm reached around her again. “Right now.”
Samantha’s skin turned cold, then flashed hot as her anger built. “What did I supposedly do?” She stepped out of the way as he cleared out one drawer after another, tossing the items behind him in the general direction of the bed.
He ignored her and looked around the room for something to put the mountain of clothes into.
A smile played at the corner of her mouth as he stalked around the room, frustrated.
“I didn’t bring a suitcase, you know.”
“Then I guess we only have one option.” He whirled and tugged on the window sash. It groaned, then slammed open with a loud bang, jarring the glass. She watched, stunned, as he hefted two arms full of garments and tossed them out the window. She stared at his heaving chest as a wayward thought crossed her mind, and she immediately acted on it.
He flinched with pain and stopped in his tracks. “Let go!”
She held on tenaciously to the small tuft of chest hair that poked out of the neck of his shirt.
“Not until you sit down and tell me what the problem is.” The calm of her voice amazed her, given the situation. She had hold of Goliath by a few chest hairs and she wasn't about to let go. It certainly seemed to be working better than a sling shot at the moment.
The power gave her a heady feeling and she tugged a little harder. “Now, what is the problem?”
He leaned his face toward hers. “The roses.”
“What roses?”
“In the kitchen.” He spat the words with all the venom of a rattlesnake.
“I don’t know anything about any roses.” She emphasized each word.
“I’ll just bet you d- Ow!” He grabbed for her wrist as she gave the hairs a final yank. She turned and ran out the door.
The sunlight streamed in through the back door and spilled across the kitchen table. A large pitcher filled with roses sat in the center of the table. She caught her breath as she noticed several stems of the white roses had red stripes. Her jaw dropped. She turned back toward him just as the pain flashing across his face changed to anger.
Hot tears sprang to her eyes, and she stilled her trembling lips with the tips of her fingers. “Taos, I didn’t—”
He turned away from her as a small body slammed into his thighs.
“’scuse me.” Tommy scooted around Taos and ran to Samantha. “Did ya like ’em?” His face was beaming with a smile that went from ear to ear.
“You did this?” She knelt down in front of the boy.
“Yeah, you said that they was your favorite flowers and all. So I brought some in for you.” He frowned at her teary expression. “You like ’em, don’t you?”
She clasped his hand and smiled. “Oh, I love them. Thank you.” She kissed his cheek and he ducked his head and grinned.
“Son?” Taos’s voice was quiet.
Tommy’s back went ramrod straight. “Yes sir.”
“You know you’re never to pick those roses.”
The boy hung his head and whispered, “Yes sir.”
Taos placed his hand on Tommy’s shoulder and turned him around. “You know the rules.”
The small head bobbed up and down as his son stared at his shoes.
“You know you have to be punished.” More bobbing.
“Oh Taos, you can’t.” She put her hand on his sleeve. “He didn’t realize.”
He shrugged her off. “He has to own up to his mistakes.”
“Well, this is hardly . . .”
Taos heaved a frustrated sigh. “I have to.” He turned an almost pleading look on her. “I will not raise a boy that doesn't accept responsibility for his actions.” He struggled to convince her and himself at the same time.
“It’s okay, Sammy. I know’d I would get in trouble.” A small toe kicked an imaginary rock. “Sometimes it’s worth it though, like you said.”
He smiled up at her then turned back to his father. “Well sir, I’m ready.”
He straightened his small bony shoulders and headed out the back door toward the barn, like a proud martyr.
Taos slid his palm across his hairline. He could feel Samantha’s eyes look right through him. He refused to meet her gaze and followed his son out the door. Taos’s boots shadowed the small footprints in the dirt, his one stride eating up five smaller ones. He stopped just outside, put his hands on his hips, and stared into the opening of the barn as his mind searched for a solution.
He couldn’t punish the boy for wanting to make her happy, but he had to do something. No real damage had been done, but the rules were in place for a reason. It was the principle of the matter. The boy had to learn how to get along in this world without making a mess of things. You did that by following the rules, not by bending them.
He wouldn’t be doing Tommy any favors by letting him think that rules didn’t apply to him. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little proud that Tommy knew he would be punished and stood ready to take it like a man. He didn’t lie, or try to make an excuse. That had to say something for what the boy had learned already. He hadn’t done such a bad job of raising him . . . so far.
A lacy stocking tumbled past his foot, and Taos looked back over his shoulder at the house. Dresses, stockings and all manner of frilly unmentionables tumbled haphazardly on the ground around the house. His gaze climbed to the window and rested on a white petticoat flapping in the breeze from the windowsill like a flag. A hand reached out, grabbed the garment and slammed the window shut.
He chuckled to himself. At least Darren and Charlie weren’t around to see this. The smile faded as he stared at the window. She had every right to be mad as hell. Seeing those roses felt like a stake through his heart. She knew what they meant and so did everyone else. Picking them felt like desecrating his baby’s grave, and he’d wrongly assumed Samantha to be at fault. He deserved to be tossed out that window and a lot more. He should have known she would never have destroyed those roses, but he wanted to think the worst. That she didn’t care. Why else would she come to him, love him so thoroughly, and then act like it never happened? Being angry seemed the only way to stay halfway sane around her.
Everything about her drew him deeper and deeper: the sound of her voice, the music of her laughter, the light in her smile. He left every morning with the sweet scent of her in his mind and willed the sun to set faster just so he could get back to her once again. For a week he’d fought a constant and relentless battle to keep himself safe, distant, in control of the situation. She must think him crazy, one minute following at her heels like a puppy and the next throwing her out of his house.
The last thing he wanted her to do was leave, and she’d dug her heals in and refused. Thank God. She could have just up and left at any time, still might. The realization sent a chill through him, and his mouth went dry.
If Tommy could take his punishment like a man, then so would he. No matter what she did or said, he would take it. He deserved it. Taos stared at the dirt and tried to arrange in his mind how to deal with Tommy, which was suddenly the least of his problems. A horse whinnied behind him and h
is head snapped up. He hadn’t even heard the rider approach.
Charlie rested a forearm on his saddle horn and grinned. “Did it rain women with those clothes, or just the clothes?”
Taos turned and strode into the barn with his face burning, Charlie’s laughter ringing in his ears.
More than an hour later, Tommy and Taos strode through the back door. Darren and Charlie were well into their meal.
“Straight upstairs, mister.” Taos pointed and Tommy took off like a shot.
“You’re not even going to let him eat dinner?” She looked at Taos like he was the grim reaper.
He shook his head.
She snatched up the empty plates and set them on the shelf with a bang. “I’m sure you’re too upset to eat, too.”
“You’ve already fixed dinner.” He watched her carefully as he sat down. “We can’t let it go to waste.” He reached his fork toward one of the steaks.
Samantha grabbed the platter from his reach and opened the back door. Jimbo whimpered and wagged a hopeful tail. She dumped the steaks in front of the dog, who fell on them, gulping large mouthfuls. The platter thudded back onto the table and Samantha headed toward the stairs.
“Why did you do that?” Taos kept his voice calm.
“You didn’t want it to go to waste.”
“What am I supposed to eat?”
“You’ll just have to chew on that beef jerky heart of yours.” She disappeared, and her door slammed a moment later.
The wonderful aroma of the steaks still lingered in the air, and the dog wandered in through the open door to sniff for more. Taos met his brothers’ shocked expressions.
“What was t-that?” Darren curled a protective hand around what was left of his steak, as Taos’s eyes settled on the meat.
“A trip to the woodshed.” Taos grumbled. Jimbo rubbed up against his leg and he reached down and scratched the dog’s ears. “Got off kinda light, didn’t I boy?” The mutt wagged his tail mindlessly and wandered out the back door.
Darren and Charlie finished eating quickly and took off for a night in town.
Taos went to his office and rummaged through the cabinets for a partial bottle of whisky. At this rate he was going to have to start buying it by the case. He poured a drink and propped his boots upon the desk. The chair squeaked in protest.
He should go up and apologize, not sit here and drink. It was never like him to shy away from a confrontation. ’course it wasn’t like him to apologize either. He would just go up, knock on the door and get it over with. He pictured tears glistening in Samantha’s green eyes right before she slammed the door in his face. He tossed down another shot. Nope, he couldn’t stand her rejection sober.
Taos looked around the office. He hadn’t spent any time in here the past few weeks, and it looked like a new place. Every surface had been cleared and polished to a high shine. He pulled his feet off the desk and wiped away the dirt his boots had left.
It was the first time in a year he had even seen the top of the desk. Jake had always kept everything neat and orderly when he was alive. Taos smiled. His Dad would have liked the woman Samantha had become. The fiery liquid began its numbing effect, and he tossed down another shot.
Thoughts swirled through his mind as he watched the last orange glow of sunset fill the room and cast shadows on the walls. He slowly pulled open the desk drawers one by one. Everything seemed to have a place, not that he would be able to figure out what she had put where. It seemed she had some kind of system: bills in one drawer, blank paper in another, letters in another. Letters.
He sat up suddenly and rummaged through the desk drawers, looking for the letter. Had she seen it? He’d left it on the desk, so she’d had to put it somewhere. Did he seal the envelope? He stopped and tried to think through the fog in his mind. No, he hadn’t had an envelope. Had she read it? He searched every drawer, then searched them again. His heart pounded double-time.
He went to the secretary and pulled open drawers and rummaged through them. Nothing. He sat back down and breathed in a deep breath. Calm logic struggled to the surface. It had to be here. If she’d read it, she would have said something. Make that, yelled something. Maybe.
He opened the first drawer in the large desk and methodically went through every piece of paper, every note, every scrap. No letter.
He pushed the what-ifs to the back of his mind and concentrated, opening and searching each drawer in succession. He paused and wiped small beads of sweat off his forehead. One drawer left. His fingers trembled a little as they stretched toward the handle. If that letter wasn't in this drawer, this could be a hole too deep to climb out of.
Chapter 16
Samantha tossed aside the covers and swung her feet to the floor. The thought of Tommy lying in bed hungry crowded out any possibility of sleep. She pushed her arms through the long sleeves of her robe and opened the door. A little snack wouldn’t hurt anything, and she might finally be able to relax.
Quiet permeated the entire house as she crept down the stairs to the kitchen. The last light of day splashed across the rug on the kitchen floor. The dishes had been washed and everything put back in its place. At least they had cleaned up after dinner. She poured a glass of milk and wrapped two large chocolate cookies in a cloth.
Her bare feet chilled as she walked back toward the stairs. She paused and looked down the hall. The closed office door offered no clues, but she could feel his presence as surely as if he had reached out and touched her. Hopefully he felt as rotten as she did. Not only had he been overly harsh with Tommy, but he’d destroyed the plans she’d spent the whole day dreaming up to clear the air between them.
She stared at the glass doorknob. This night could have turned out very differently. She certainly wasn’t in the mood to talk to him about anything right now and the letter only added to her uncertainty. It seemed like every serious conversation they tried to have only intensified the jumble of emotions within her. She didn’t know if she wanted to slide into the comfort and safety of his arms or shoot him, and at this point it could go either way. She forced her gaze ahead of her and started up the stairs. Distance could be a good thing.
Samantha opened Tommy’s door quietly. A little sniffle greeted her in the darkness.
“Tommy?” She whispered.
“Uh-huh?”
She placed the goodies on the table next to the bed and lit the small lamp.
The boy rubbed his red eyes and sat up. “Are those for me?”
She nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. Tommy crunched into the treats, sending a shower of crumbs onto the sheets.
Samantha laughed. “Slow down there. I can go get you some more.”
He took a swig of milk, leaving a white mustache across his top lip.
“Are you okay?” She brushed his unruly bangs from his face as he nodded.
“It wasn't too bad.” He munched another bite. “Didn’t know I had a sister, though.”
Samantha stared. Taos had told him about the baby? “What about your sister?”
“Pa said she died when she was little and that’s why he planted those special roses.” He paused “If I'd a knowed that, I wouldn’t have picked ’em.”
“I’m really glad you wanted to give me something. Thank you.”
Tommy smiled. “Pa told me it was nice what I did for you and all, but I need ta ask next time.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Now maybe both of us will stay out of trouble for a while.” Samantha paused, she hated to pump the boy for information, but curiosity got the best of her. “What else did he say?”
“Pa said my sister's name was same as yours.”
She nodded.
“He must like you a lot.”
That comment caught her a little off guard and left her speechless for a minute. “Well, maybe.”
Tommy frowned and stared at the remainder of his cookie. “Are you gonna leave?” He turned his big hopeful eyes on her. “I’ll do more nice stuff if you don’t leave.”<
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“Why would you think I would leave?”
“Nate says my momma left cause she didn’t want us. Me or Pa neither one. I like you lots, and I don’t want you to leave ’cause we wasn’t nice to you.”
Tears stung the back of her eyes and she cleared her throat. “You don’t have to do nice things to get me to stay.” She folded the covers over his chest as Tommy settled down into the bed.
“I know pa’s real sorry he threw your clothes out the window.”
She leaned over and kissed his forehead.” Don’t you worry about that. No real harm done.”
She stood and turned down the light.
He was asleep before she got to the door. Samantha stood in the hall and stared at her bare feet. Tommy’s words tugged at her heart. She didn’t want to leave, no matter if Taos had sent the letter or not. She didn’t care. The realization came as a bit of a surprise, and it wasn’t just about Tommy. She was thoroughly attached to this place, this man.
She smiled to herself. Who was she kidding? She found Taos frustrating, irritating, and irresistible. Even as angry as she had been seeing her clothes dance across the countryside, it was kind of funny too. This might be the perfect time to clear the air. Besides, he needed to know that Tommy was already hearing things about his mother. Taos needed to talk to him.
Samantha found herself standing in front of the office door in a matter of minutes. She forced the doubt and fear to the back of her mind and rapped her knuckles on the door. She peeked in. “Are you busy?”
Taos slammed a drawer with a bang. Samantha flinched and raised both eyebrows at his expression. He looked like a rabbit trapped in a snare. She recognized the contents of several desk drawers scattered on the floor around him.
“Um, yes. I mean no. Um, I mean, come in.”
Samantha stood in front of the desk. He had obviously been looking for something. The letter. This worked out perfectly. “Looking for something?”
He shrugged and stared at her.
“A letter, maybe?”
No comment.
“A letter to Boston, maybe?”