by Linda Bridey
Tears began rolling down Gina’s cheeks as she thought about all Rick had endured, but she didn’t interrupt him.
“It didn’t take him long to see what she was really like. He protected me as much as he could, but, when he wasn’t around, it could be very bad. One day, when I was twelve, Emery had gone into town and she started on me about something. I don’t remember what now.” FLASH!
He had to stop for several moments until the images subsided a little.
“She came at me with her favorite weapon, a riding crop. She was a strong woman and when she was angry, she was even stronger. I kept backing up across our parlor to get away from her. Then I couldn’t go any further. I stood up against the mantel and felt the poker behind me. I was furious at this point and I was of an age when I was becoming more assertive. She did not like that at all. She hit me with that crop until finally I’d had enough,” he said. His voice was a harsh rasp as he spoke, all of the fury and hatred for this horrible woman evident in his tone.
“I picked up that poker and I struck her down. I don’t remember anything after the first couple of times I hit her. The next thing I knew Emery was leaning over me, shaking me. When I opened my eyes, the room was full of blood and I was covered in it. I killed my mother, Gina, and, to this day, I’m not sorry. That makes me a murderer,” Rick said.
Gina wept openly now. “You were just a child, Rick. You were defending yourself and after everything she had done to you for so long, who could blame you?”
Rick crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to get his shaking under control. It didn’t work. “Emery buried my mother in the woods in back of the house we lived in. I was born in Canada, by the way, and we lived in British Columbia. That’s when we started traveling all over the place. Emery was protecting me in case any charges would have been brought against me. He needn’t have worried, however, because she never associated with very many people, so she was never missed, I don’t think.
“When I was in the North West Mounted Police, no one ever confronted me about it, so at that point I knew that my secret had died with Emery and I certainly wasn’t going to tell anyone about it,” Rick said.
“You’re Canadian and you were a mountie?” Gina said.
“Yes. I got kicked out, though. But I had grown to love law enforcement and I wanted to stay in that line of work. It was at that point that I started tracking down my father and I worked in different sheriff’s offices and the like along the way. So that’s how I wound up here in Dawson. I’d finally found Geoff. I don’t know when he’s going to tell my sisters, but I decided I had to tell you tonight because I wasn’t going to take the chance of you finding out some other way,” Rick said as his shaking worsened.
“Rick, what can I do for you?” Gina said as she dried her tears. She still cried inside for the little boy in him who’d had to live such a horrific life.
“Well, usually alcohol works, but there’s none in the carriage. I wanted to be completely sober when I told you all of this,” Rick said as his teeth chattered together.
“We’re closer to town,” Gina said. “We’ll go to the Watering Hole. Oh wait, it’s closed.”
“Ben and Sasha live over the top of it,” Rick said. “He can let us in. I can’t drive like this. You’ll have to. I have flashbacks about it and they’re going to start coming rapidly now.”
Gina didn’t say any more. She picked up the reins and then stopped. “Rick, I don’t know how to drive a team.”
Rick let out a shaky laugh. “Ok, just slap the reins on the horse’s back and he’ll start moving. Not real hard, just enough for him to feel it.”
She did and the horse started moving. Rick was able to instruct her on turning the carriage around and getting back on the main road before the memories hit him hard.
Chapter Eleven
At that moment, across town, Tessa, Maddie, and Claire Samuels, along with their husbands, were gathered at Geoff and Maureen’s home. The maid and cook had been sent home so they would have complete privacy. The three couples waited for Geoff to speak.
“What I am going to tell you will affect all of our lives in a very dramatic way,” he said.
Tessa noticed that his hands trembled a little. “Papa, what is it?”
Geoff gave her a grim smile. “A little over a year after Claire was born, your mother and I were having marital difficulties, severe enough that we decided to separate for a while.”
All three women looked at each other in surprise.
“Papa, I don’t remember that,” Tessa said.
“You were only six, honey, and I used to travel on business a lot, so you probably wouldn’t have noticed that I wasn’t around very much,” Geoff said.
“Go on, Papa,” Tessa said.
“I went to New York for business and I had to attend a party that a colleague threw. While there I met a woman by the name of Janine Morrow and we… I had an affair with her,” Geoff said.
Claire clutched Marcus’ arm and he put his other one around her. “Papa! How could you?”
Geoff looked her in the eye and said, “I was sad beyond belief over the separation from your mother. I was weak and I suppose it was comforting. I really don’t know how else to put it.” He looked at Tessa and saw rage brewing in her eyes. “I ask that you don’t interrupt me at this point because I have to get this out. This affair produced a child. A son. You all know him.”
They all looked at each other, each trying to figure out who it could be.
“Rick Westlake is your brother,” Geoff said.
No one spoke for several moments.
Maddie said, “The deputy, Rick Westlake? The one you have brunch with?”
“Yes. He told us just this morning,” Geoff said. “I’ve seen his birth certificate and Janice has me listed as the father. He is my son. I had no idea he existed.”
“He has been here for a while now. Why did he wait so long to tell you?” Claire asked. Despite her shock and anger over her father’s infidelity, she felt a small measure of curiosity.
“I believe he was waiting to see if I was someone with whom he wanted to have a relationship. If I was worth his time. He gave me a week to tell all of you or he was going to approach you himself,” Geoff said. “I couldn’t let that happen. I love you all too much not to tell you myself.”
“Mama, did you know about this affair?” Tessa said as she gave her father a cold look.
“Yes, I did, and I forgave your father long ago. It was a meaningless affair and, in a strange way, it brought us closer because we both realized how much we loved each other and that we were meant to be together, not only for ourselves, but for you girls. I am not happy that a child came of his affair, but there’s nothing we can do about that,” Maureen told them.
“How could you forgive him?” Tessa said then turned to her father. “How could you do that to Mama? You are not the man I thought I knew and I want nothing more to do with you!”
As she rose to leave, Geoff tried to stop her. “Tessa, please try to understand. I am still you father and I love you so much. I love all of you.”
“No!” she shouted. “I can’t even look at you!”
She fled from the room followed closely by Dean.
Geoff sat down looking years older than his age. “I don’t blame her for hating me. I wouldn’t blame you for hating me, either,” he said as he leaned forward and put his head in his hands.
Maddie wiped tears from her face as Seth kept an arm around her. “Papa, I am so angry with you and hurt and disappointed, but I don’t hate you. I need some time to let this really sink in. What are people going to think? This is going to be awful.”
“Papa, how old is Rick?” Claire asked. Her curiosity was growing by the minute.
Geoff smiled at little at the eagerness in her eyes. “You might be happy to know that you are no longer the baby of the family. He’s two years younger than you.”
“We have a baby brother,” she said and laughed. “Papa, I
echo Maddie’s sentiments about my feelings towards you, but discovering we have a brother is not the worst thing in the world.”
Maddie gave her a sharp look. “How can you be happy about this? It’s going to ruin our reputation in this town.”
Claire stared back at her. “Is that all you can think about?”
“No, but it’s a part of it. You’re the school teacher. Think about how people will view sending their children to school to be taught by you. The daughter of the man who had an affair and fathered an illegitimate son,” Maddie said.
Marcus’ eyes became stormy with anger. “Careful, sister-in-law. I’m an illegitimate child, remember? It’s not Rick’s fault that this happened. He’s innocent in all this.”
“Yes, I remember, Marcus. This is different. Why did he have to come here and cause all of this turmoil? Is he going to stay quiet about it?” Maddie asked.
“No,” Geoff said. “And with all of our family knowing, there’s no way to keep it quiet. The best we can do is weather the storm and ride it out. Eventually, things will settle down about it.”
Marcus pounded the arm of his chair. “A man has just found his family, a family that was denied him for his whole life and the only thing you can worry about is your reputation? Where the hell is your compassion? I’ve been in his shoes. I found my Lakota family and I’m thankful every day that I did. If this is the way you’re going to act about it, Rick may come to regret finding you.” He stood up.
“Where are you going?” Claire asked with concern.
“I’m going to see Rick. I think he could use a friend in all this,” Marcus said.
Claire’s eyes lit up. “I’ll come with you.”
Marcus grinned. It reminded him of the night he’d told his white family about his Lakota heritage. Dean had thrown him out and disowned him. As Marcus had been leaving Dean’s house that night, Claire had come running after him, begging him to take her with him.
“Come, then, wife,” he said in Lakota.
Claire kissed both of her parents. “I am so angry with you, Papa, but I don’t hate you.”
She followed her husband out the door.
By the time they reached the Watering Hole, Rick was in a full-fledged panic attack. Gina was incredibly frightened for him and felt terrible that she couldn’t do more for him than she already was. She drove around back and saw a flight of stairs leading up to a door. There were lights in the windows so she hoped that meant that someone was home.
“Rick, I’ll be right back. Just stay here, ok?” she said.
He didn’t respond to her. He held himself and leaned forward over his knees. Rick’s shaking was so severe that the carriage creaked with the force of it. Gina waited no longer. She ran up the stairs and banged on the door.
Sasha and Ben sat on the sofa together, talking about their day. She lay with her head in his lap as they both caressed her growing belly. Sasha was around seven months along now, and the mother and father couldn’t have been more happy about the baby. Ben bent and lovingly kissed his wife, his savior, and the love of his life.
“Have I told you today how much I love you, sugar?” He asked Sasha.
She smiled and looked into his mesmerizing green eyes. “Not today,” she replied.
“Well, then let me—”
Someone hammering on the kitchen door interrupted him and made them jump.
“Who the hell is that?” Ben said angrily.
He helped Sasha sit up and then quickly ran to the door. When he opened it, he saw Gina standing on the landing, her dark eyes wide with fear. He remembered briefly meeting her a couple of nights before. She was in a highly agitated state.
“What is it? Gina, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Yes. It’s Rick. He’s having some kind of episode. I can’t tell you what it was about, but we were discussing a trauma that he’s experienced and he started shaking and now he’s not responding to me. He’s in the carriage below,” Gina said.
Ben went to get his bag. He got out a bottle of cannabis tablets and put them on the kitchen table. Somehow, they were going to have to get him up the stairs. Quickly he told Sasha what was happening and ran down the stairs to join Gina at the carriage. He opened Rick’s door and was shocked to see the awful state Rick was in.
“Rick!” Ben said loudly. “We need to get you upstairs. Come with me. I’ll help you.”
Ben got ahold of Rick and began pulling him from the carriage. He succeeded in getting Rick to his feet, but Rick’s legs shook so badly that walking was difficult.
Rick heard Ben from far away and tried to respond. The terrible memories and images wouldn’t stop, however, and he was having difficulty telling reality from the nightmare that played through his mind. He felt the hurt and rage all over again and he started struggling against Ben. He thought Ben was his mother, trying to lock him up somewhere again.
“Gina, please run upstairs and get the pill bottle on the kitchen table and a cup of water. I’m going to take him to the stable. I’m not going to be able to get him up the stairs by myself,” Ben said.
Suddenly Rick pushed Ben away and faced him with a look of hatred and fury on his face. Ben recognized that Rick was in some sort of fugue state and he was frightened of what Rick would do. The man wore a gun. Ben was hoping and praying that Rick wouldn’t shoot him.
“Rick, it’s all right. It’s Ben. I’m going to help you,” he said as he advanced slowly on Rick. “It’ll be ok.”
“Stay away from me!” Rick shouted and came at Ben.
Ben dodged a hard-swung fist just in time. The force Rick had used would probably have broken a rib or two. It was a lucky thing for Ben that Rick’s accuracy was somewhat diminished at the moment. Ben swept Rick’s feet out from under him. When Rick fell to the ground Ben put a sleeper hold on him and held on for dear life.
Rick struggled like a wild cat and Ben had to use all his considerable might to retain his hold on him. Eventually, Rick’s struggling lessened and then stopped altogether. Ben released him and dragged him into the stable where he laid him on some straw. He covered him with a horse blanket as Gina came into the stable.
“What happened?” she said when she saw that Rick was unconscious.
“I had to knock him out. He was fighting me and he was very dangerous,” Ben told her.
He took the bottle of pills from her and the cup of water. He used a little of the water to sprinkle on Rick’s face in an attempt to wake him. Ben had only used enough force to subdue Rick for a few minutes.
Gently slapping Rick’s face, he said, “C’mon, Rick. Wake up. Time to wake up.”
Rick heard Ben and began responding. He came up out of the layers of pain-filled fog and slowly opened his eyes. He saw Ben and Gina kneeling on either side of him. Flash! He bolted upright, but Ben and Gina forced him to lay back down.
“Rick, you’re safe,” Gina said. “No one is going to hurt you. You’re all right.”
Rick closed his eyes against the tears that threatened. He was embarrassed beyond belief. He also had no idea where he was.
“Rick, you need to take this,” Ben said.
Opening his eyes, Rick saw Gina looking at him. Worry was etched on her pretty face. He tried to smile at her and failed.
“C’mon and sit up,” Ben urged him.
Rick felt the trembling starting again, but did as directed. Gina held the cup of water while Rick drank from it because the tremors prevented him from doing so.
“Lay back down,” Ben said. “We’ll wait for a few minutes for it to take effect and then get you upstairs.”
“No,” Rick said. “I need to go home.” His voice was rough with emotion.
“It’s best that you’re watched over,” Ben said kindly. “You can stay here tonight.”
“Where is here?” Rick asked as he looked around at the stable.
“I brought you to the Watering Hole,” Gina said. She took his hand in both of hers.
It was coming back to him now. He’d b
een telling her all of his awful secrets, which had triggered another episode. “Well, Lovely, this is a heck of a second date.”
Gina smiled at him. He sounded a little like himself. “I’ll never forget it,” she said, tongue-in-cheek.
Rick managed to smile at that. “I’m sure you won’t.”
Ben asked, “Do you feel any better?”
Rick assessed himself. He wasn’t shaking as badly and he hadn’t had a flashback in a few minutes. “I think so. I need to go home,” he said and sat up. The world tilted and he grabbed his head. “What the hell did you give me?”
“Cannabis,” Ben said. “It’s a common sedative.”
“Yes, I can see how it would be good for that. It’s powerful.” Rick shook his head a little and took some deep breaths.
“Rick, I know you want to go home, but I don’t know if it’s safe for you to be alone,” Ben said.
“I would stay with you, but I have the children to take care of. Everyone will worry if I don’t come home,” Gina said.
Rick said, “I know. Joe will send out a search party for you. I’ll be fine. I’m used to dealing with this.”
Gina’s brow furrowed. “How often does this happen?”
“Two or three times a week,” Rick said. “But it doesn’t get near this bad. I usually head it off before then.”
“Are you on medication?” Ben asked. He was surprised to find out that Rick had an ongoing mental condition. He always seemed so level-headed and in control.
“Nope. I just drink some vodka and it does the trick,” he replied. “It’s the only time I drink.”
Ben frowned. “You need the proper medication, Rick.”
“I didn’t want to talk about it. Doctors make you talk about it. I can’t think about it anymore right now,” Rick said. “Please don’t make me.”
Ben saw that Rick was on the verge of another episode. “No, we’re not going to discuss it any longer.”
Rick started getting up but grew dizzy. “I need to go home!”