by Lana Mowdy
Chapter 5
When their carriage finally pulled up in front of the Peachtree House, Wade and Ella stood paralyzed at the elegance and enormity of the house that they would call home. Every inch of the house was ornately decorated with carvings, towers, and stained-glass windows. As they slowly climbed the tall staircase, Wade struggled to quiet his quivering legs. The door opened before they touched the large brass knocker, and an unknown doorman stood quietly to the side, closing the door after them. The inside of the new home was even grander than the outside, they recognized as their feet sunk into the plush red carpet. An enormous staircase towered before them. Wade and Ella stood shivering in the gloominess of the dark rooms, curtained in velvet, wary of touching anything for fear of ruining their mother’s divine furnishings.
Before they had visited their new rooms, Scarlett chirped, “Let’s go look in the backyard, Wade. I have a surprise for you,” Scarlett almost giggled with excitement in light of her generosity. It was slightly alarming to see their mother so giddy. They had never seen her like this before. The lines of worry were gone from her face, and her eyes sparkled like a schoolgirl’s. After what seemed like miles of walking, they finally reached the backyard, where Wade heard the soft yelping of a puppy. “It’s a St. Bernard! Isn’t it exciting, Darling?”
Scarlett was practically hopping with exhilaration as the small puppy jumped up on Wade’s legs almost knocking him over. Wade knelt down to hug the furry puppy, burying his face in its thick fur. He had always wanted his own puppy, and he could hardly wait to spend afternoons romping in the yard, playing with his new dog. He already had a name for him, Rebel, the embodiment of the heroes of his world.
Scarlett led the children to their rooms, and deposited them with instructions to rest before supper. Wade was almost as thrilled with the décor of his room as he was with the thought of having his own room. He looked around at the mounds of playthings piled along every wall, a rocking horse, great ships to sail on the small pond in the yard, and sets of tin soldiers. His four-poster dark cherry bed was large enough to fit a dozen children, and as he spread out on the pale blue sateen cover, he almost squealed with delight before remembering that it would not be very manly of him. He ran to the armoire, throwing open the thick cherry doors to find handsome suits, perfectly fitted to his size and meticulously scrutinized by Rhett. He would look like the perfect gentleman.
It was almost impossible to rest before dinner. It would take days to investigate his room, with all the doors, closets, furniture and toys, and he had not seen more than a quick glance of two floors of the house. As he made his way back down to the dining room, he was once more captivated by the magnificence of the details in every corner of the house. He took his place at the dining room table which shone brilliantly under the lead crystal candelabra. Food was served on a sterling silver serving set on the twelve foot long table, surrounded by chairs covered with burgundy velvet. Extravagant china, plated with gold rims was perfectly arranged in front of each chair.
In spite of the majesty of the room, Wade picked at the unknown dishes placed before him. He had never tasted such rich food, thick gravies, and strange combinations. He was not so sure that he could get used to this strange new atmosphere surrounded with lavish decorations and pompous shows.
Scarlett was always busy working or entertaining, and Wade did not like his mother’s choice of company. She would always run him and his sister to their rooms, where they would stay until her company left. Ella was getting older now, and they could visit each other across the hall. She had just as many toys as he did, and they could play for hours without ever touching the same toy twice. It was nice, sometimes, to be at the perfect age where one would expect a young boy to teeter between childhood games and plights of manhood.
Visits to Aunt Melly’s house were rare. She did not bring Beau to visit very often, and never when Scarlett had other company. When they did get together, it was just like old times. They would play for hours, reenacting the war, always victorious.
Wade looked forward most to times he spent with Rhett. Rhett spent considerable time with the boy, and it seemed as though he enjoyed it. He always had time, and would speak to Wade like a man, listening to every word uttered with a nod of understanding, only offering advice when it was requested.
Rhett bought Wade his own horse and taught him to ride. They took it slow at first, but soon, they were racing through the countryside, Rhett secretly allowing Wade to win every time. They rode through town, nice and slow, but the moment they hit city limits, they would ride like the wind as if they were foxhunting. Wade loved his horse, and the moment they were back at the house, he would spend hours brushing him down, feeding him and watering him. His dappled grey horse was taken care of almost as well as Rebel, who was almost big enough to knock him over with one jump.
Consumed with anxiety about the boy lacking masculinity, Rhett set it upon himself to culture the habits of manhood. He taught him to shoot a gun and play cards well enough to scam the most avid poker players. Wade felt like a man when he was with Rhett, and he stood straighter when Rhett was around, making sure that he upheld that impression.
Much to Mammy’s protest, Rhett took Wade to New Orleans for two weeks during Mardi gras. Wade had never seen so many people, dressed so colorfully with dramatic masks of animals and magical creatures. Along the streets, people lined to watch the King of Krewe, featured in the parade for the very first time to welcome the Grand Duke of Russia. Costumed dancers paraded through the streets of New Orleans. Parties with jubilant music and dancing girls lasted all night long, and Wade was standing beside Rhett every moment, dressed exquisitely. The women cooed over such a handsome young man, and secretly applauded Rhett for taking such an interest in the raising of a boy that was not his own. The men swore as Wade beat them hand after hand of cards, and Rhett would take Wade shopping to spend every cent of his ill-gotten earnings. Everywhere they looked, Wade saw mounds of sweets, tantalizing him, calling out his name. He gorged himself, basking in the glow of attention and pure gluttony. For as long as he would live, Wade would look back on Mardi gras in New Orleans and smile.
As they boarded the train for home, Wade felt as if he had not slept in years, but his exhaustion was pleasant. He sat in the car beside Rhett, unwilling to fall asleep, remembering each event in detail so he could relay the experience to Beau and Ella.
“Wade,” Rhett startled Wade with his firm voice, forcing open his eyes that had begun to drift, “I don’t think you should tell your mother everything we did in New Orleans. Oh, I know she doesn’t talk to you much anyway, but she would hold it against me, and I can’t afford any more strikes.”
Trying to focus on Rhett’s words, Wade forced himself to sit up and listen, though the meaning was quite unclear at this point.
“Tell me what you think of your mother.”
Wade stared blankly at him. He searched his mind for manly words to answer that question, but each reply sounded babyish, and he would never reveal his true feelings, for he hadn’t given it much thought, and if he had dared put his thoughts into words they would either be disrespectful or childish.
“You can’t fool me, you’re scared of her. I see it in your face, and I’ll admit that sometimes I am too, but I would never let her see it. If she ever thought she had the upper hand, she would crush my heart into fine bits leaving it lying on the floor like the sawdust in her mill.” Rhett’s face hardened.
“But never mind that. I would suggest you do the same. Don’t let her see you frightened. She abhors weakness, and she takes advantage of it. Do you understand what I am saying, son?”
Wade nodded weakly. He had questioned her opinion of him many times, and had always concluded that she did see him as a weakling, no matter what he did. She wasn’t around enough to know him, and when she was there, he could not be himself. He thought he had been hiding his fear well, but once again he was being reminded that every emotion was visibly reflected on his face
.
“I have actually been quite impressed with your demeanor. You have grown into quite a dashing young man, but as your only male mentor, I feel it is my duty to pass on some information that may save you some headaches later on in life.”
Rhett sported a look of sarcasm, as though he was laughing at himself.
“First of all, don’t ever let a woman think she has the upper hand. She will use it against you every time.”
Wade wondered if he was talking about his mother. She never had the upper hand with Rhett, and it infuriated her. She could be heard screaming insults as he nonchalantly recited the facts of the situation, and watched her squirm.
“Next, don’t fall for that silliness of trying to be a gentleman. Gentlemen don’t have any fun, they never catch the girl they really want, and then they are stuck with a nagging wife that turns out to look like their mother.” Rhett lit his cigar and took a long draw, contemplating whether he wanted to relay his last bit of advice, even if it was the most important.
“They say that most men look for a woman with the same qualities that his mother holds. Now look at me, I love your mother more than any man has ever loved a woman, but she will never know. For the sake of your sanity, avoid a woman that can so easily cast aside virtue, who is in love with another man, and just spiteful enough to let you know it.”
Wade had never heard a person talk about his mother so passionately, and yet pointing out such unredeemable qualities. He didn’t know whether to heed the advice of this man who held his highest respect, or defend his mother.
“Look for a woman like Miss Melanie, soft, gentle, kind. You will have her heart always. You won’t have to fight for it. Sometimes what seems most enchanting at the moment can mean heartache in the end.” Rhett put out his cigar, laid his head back on the rest, and closed his eyes.
Although Wade was absolutely exhausted, the words of advice ran circles in his mind, and he began to long for Emily. He could only hope that she would wait for him to return, equally longing for him. He did not get to tell her goodbye, and he hoped she did not hate him for that. Emily was not like his mother at all. She was beautiful and innocent, childlike. Being in her presence made him feel special, and he trusted that he could bear his soul to her. Never would she laugh or ridicule him. She would be his eternal love. He was sure that he had no reason to ever look for another, and with that thought, he laid his head back, imitating Rhett, and fell asleep smiling and dreaming of Emily.
Everyday was an adventure for Wade with an enormous house to explore. He found a million cubbyholes, and in his usual manner, he contemplated his plan for escape in case of Yankee invasion. However, nightmares grew fewer, and his obsessive fears began to fade with Rhett’s presence. He could still count on Rhett to listen seriously, and when all else failed, Rhett would give him candy money. Wade spent time with Beau a couple of times a week, and as much as he longed for summer to remain, he looked forward to school starting within a few weeks.
The public school system in Georgia had been recently legislated, but along with so many other legislative actions, the Georgia government had no funding for education. Mothers in Atlanta looked forward to education for their children, but schools were only open for a few months, and to add insult to injury, the government hired Yankee schoolmarms. As soon as the origination of the teacher was discovered, the respectable Atlantians with traceable bloodlines pulled their children from the public school, vowing to educate their own. As summer came to an end, and the school year loomed ahead, most children had no fear of returning to study, for they would be educated at home among their own kind by respectable confederate teachers.
Rhett had another idea, however. He wanted Wade to have an education, and in order to make that happen, he would take matters into his own hands. In spite of Scarlett’s protests of throwing money into a dry system, Rhett funded a full school year, hiring an educated Southern teacher, selecting a proper establishment in the neighborhood of the Old Guard, and discouraging any Yankees or Republicans from attending. Wade would have a solid education, and he would slowly win the hearts of the Old Guard, securing a place in society for his unborn child that Scarlett carried.
Wade was terribly excited about his first day of school. He spent hours looking through his wardrobe to find just the perfect suit to impress his teacher and make plenty of new friends. Upon Rhett’s advice, he chose gray pinstripe short pants, a crisp white shirt with small ruffles down each side of the button placket, and a darker gray jacket. Before running down to breakfast, Wade stood in front of his full-length mirror admiring his image. He smoothed down his dark brown one more time, and raced down the stairs to a plateful of hotcakes.
“I still don’t know why you insist on pouring money into a society that outcast you long ago,” Scarlet stared at Rhett across the long table.
“Don’t you want Wade to have an education, my darling?” Rhett replied without looking up from the morning paper sprawled across the table.
“He can have an education without supporting all of Atlanta. You know we could easily find a tutor that would be just as suitable.”
Rhett looked up just long enough to detect the malice in Scarlett’s face. “We could, but this is better, for it gets him out of this house and among people his own age, but thank you for your concern my greedy little pet.”
Rhett stood, motioning silently for Wade to follow. He walked him to school that morning, and Wade strode beside him, trying to match Rhett’s long strides. He was feeling quite confident in his new clothes, and although he noticed that his tan from working at Tara had faded, he was still quite muscular. When Rhett deposited him at the schoolhouse door, he noticed the gleam in his teacher’s eye as she tried to persuade Rhett to stay through the morning. Rhett, unaware of the teacher’s fervor, made sure that Wade sat in a suitable spot, and left with his usual gallant trot.
Wade sat through the morning, studying his instructor, who quite swiftly changed her nature as soon as Rhett was out the door. She suddenly became very gruff. Her voice was harsh, and her rules were strict. She demanded attention, and walked with a short switch, ready to rap the knuckles of any young man brave enough to dose off during her lecture.
Even more disappointing was the fact that all morning, he had not learned to read. It seemed as if he had waited his entire life to learn to read. He had listened to so many stories told by Aunt Melly, and could not wait to experience the stories come to life as he held a leather bound book in his hands and felt the words lift off the page. By the end of the morning, the only thing he had learned was one letter of the alphabet and some math facts. Finally, the teacher rang the small bell to announce lunch, and all the boys ran outside, gasping for fresh air.
He was supposed to walk the short distance to his house for lunch, and as the boys clumped together to walk home, he realized that no one had invited him to join their group. Looking around, he saw that every boy had left and he was standing there wondering what had gone wrong. Hanging his head, he walked slowly home thinking, “This was supposed to be the most exciting day of his life, but he had made no friends, his teacher was miserably intense, and he had not even learned to read.”
The looks from the other boys had completely escaped him. He had no idea that each boy had already heard about him from their parents and grandparents. He was estranged because his mother dealt with scalawags and republicans. He would never be accepted because his stepfather had never fought in the war, and they flaunted their blood money in the face of respectable people. They even grudged the clothing that he had so meticulously chosen interpreting them as another show of wealth with which they could not compete.
When Wade walked slowly into the house to eat his lunch, Rhett noticed his trudge and the frown on his face. He slid to his side and put his hand on his shoulder.
“How did your morning go, son?” Rhett looked at Wade with sincerity, and though Wade had intended to keep the events of the morning to himself, everything came pouring out.
>
“Oh, Uncle Rhett, it was just horrible!” The lapse in Wade’s manly charade was not lost on Rhett, noting his rare reversion to the name used to address Rhett when Wade was a small boy, and he took a seat grant his undivided attention to this obviously tormented little boy. “I didn’t make any friends. The other boys did not ask me to walk with them to lunch,” his mouth turned even further down in the corners. “And as soon as you left, the teacher that was looking at you so nice became a tyrant.”
The comment about the teacher grabbed Scarlett’s attention as she floated through the room. “So you have grabbed the admiration of a schoolmarm?” Scarlett’s eyes glittered with humor hiding the jealousy that raged through her body.
“I did not notice. I only have eyes for you, my dear,” he dismissed her bluntly to address the more important issue at hand.
Wade shrunk back as his mother continued to her original destination. He did not want her to overhear the conversation and perceive his weakness.
“What else?” Rhett urged him to continue.
“I didn’t even learn to read,” and with this last confession, uncontrollable hiccups arose in spite of his willing them to stop.
“Well, son, let’s look at this from some different angles and think of a solution.” Rhett leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin, apparently deep in thought while Wade waited quietly convinced of Rhett’s authority on the subject.
“What were the other boys wearing?”
“I did not really notice, but they were not dressed nearly as fine as me.”
“Hmm… we may have to alter your dress code tomorrow. Did you ask any of the boys to come over here for lunch?”
“No. They just wandered off in groups and I was left alone,” Wade answered thoughtfully, hoping for advice that would change the situation.
Rhett, however, worried that no matter what course of action taken, Wade would see no results. He knew the boys that he was trying to win over, and had been publicly rebuked by their families. He had hoped that by establishing the school he would have won back some favor, but it was a long stretch considering the Butler history, and Scarlett’s continuously unfavorable actions and choice of associates.
“Well, let’s try this. Tomorrow you will wear something a little less debonair, and you can invite them to have lunch over here. Also, it takes a more than a day to learn to read. Keep working at it, and soon you will read the entire collection of Shakespeare.” Rhett could see the approval in the boy’s eyes as he retired to eat a quick lunch before finishing the afternoon. He only hoped that he had not unwittingly sent the boy into the lion’s den defenseless.
Scarlett had overheard the conversation, but waited until just the moment to bait Rhett into admitting defeat. “A good idea, huh? You send my poor little boy to be devoured by those horrible little brats carrying the ammunition of their families?”
“No need to try to claim the compassion of motherhood so late in his life. The sound of your heart beating is drowned out by the scream of misplaced blame.” Rhett left to join Wade.
Scarlett pouted as she retreated to her office, once again blindsided by words whose meaning completely escaped her.
Rhett’s plan did not work, but Wade dared not let on that he had been unsuccessful. After Rhett had given him a flawless plan, the only explanation possible could be his own failure in execution. Weeks passed as Wade approached his classmates in every manner. One time he went so far as to rip holes in his pants to make himself look poor, and asked the boys to share the lunch he had secretly packed. Nothing seemed to work. The boys would laugh at him, first in secret then more openly, until they were jeering at him or ignoring him completely.
Everyday after school, Wade would walk slowly home, wondering what he had done wrong to deserve such horrible treatment. He was obviously not as suave as Rhett and could not make friends nearly as easily. Thinking about Rhett, he was suddenly hit with the most wonderful idea. Every time he went out with Rhett, they were surrounded by jovial men playing cards, laughing, joking, and making crude jokes. Of course the other boys didn’t have to share their ball, but he could take his own set of playing cards and teach them how to play. They would have to let him play because it was his own deck. He almost skipped all the way home to ask Rhett for a deck of cards, which Rhett handed over, unaware of the boy’s plan.
At lunchtime the next day as the boys discussed their lunch plans, Wade sat down at the small picnic table outside of the schoolhouse and pulled out his deck of cards. Curiosity overcame the other boys and one by one they made their way to the picnic table. Although they each had been specifically instructed not to have anything to do with Wade, the call of the wantonly masculine activity was far too captivating. Wade had decided to start with blackjack. It was the easiest of all games to learn, and he could keep their attention if the game was not too complicated. After explaining the rules and playing a few practice rounds, he threw a penny to the middle of the table and quipped, “Who’s in?” imitating the words he had heard Rhett speak.
The boys’ eyes grew wide at the thought of participating in such an atrocious sin as gambling. Raoul Picard and Jackson Meade pushed their way to the table, confident in their ability to win a little money with the coins they were supposed to use to buy flour and sugar on their way home from school. By the end of their designated lunchtime, the boys walked slump-shouldered back into the schoolroom. Not only had they gone without lunch, but every boy with a penny had lost it to Wade.
That afternoon, Wade strutted down the street sure that Rhett would be proud of him. He had made friends and money in the same afternoon. He considered diversifying to keep up the action with a little poker, but had decided against it since blackjack had been so successful. When he got home, he galloped up the stairs to his room to count his money when he heard the doorbell ring. He opened his door and crept to the top of the stairs, hiding behind the large banister to get a good view of the visitor.
“I would like to speak with Scarlett Butler, please.” Wade recognized the voice of Maybelle Picard and he was elated to know that he had made such a good impression that Raoul’s mother would come to visit. As Rhett marched into the room, Maybelle pushed through the door, slightly distracted by such a magnificent home and plush red carpets, she organized her thoughts to unleash her anger on this truly frightening man.
“I would like to speak with Scarlett.” Maybelle’s eyes flickered with anger.
“She is not here. Maybe I can help you,” Rhett remained cool in spite of the forthcoming attack.
“I want to speak with her about her son’s reprehensible behavior at school today which is no doubt the result of your unscrupulous behavior and poisonous influence on a boy of his young, impressionable age.”
Rhett, slightly amused by an obviously recited regurgitation of words politely replied, “I’ll see to it that she gets your message with all of its venomous intent.” He bowed grandly and ushered her unwillingly out the door, then turned just as Wade rose to sneak back into his room.
“Wade, come down here, please.”
Very slowly, Wade plodded down the long flight of stairs, completely baffled by the woman’s disapproval.
Reclining on a soft chair in the library, stretching his legs, Rhett watched Wade curiously as he hesitantly took a seat across the room.
“So, son, tell me what happened today.”
“Well, Sir, your plan didn’t exactly work ‘cause I couldn’t do it right. I tried to do exactly what you said, but they still didn’t like me, probably ‘cause I am not real sophisticated like you. And I was thinking that you always have friends around you when you are playing cards, so I thought I would show them how to play cards. I was gonna give their money back.” Wade looked so downfallen that Rhett couldn’t help but feel pity for this poor boy that was paying the price for his parents’ sins.
“I see.” Rhett’s face suddenly changed from pity to incredulous horror as he realized his own part in the boy’s problem. “Wade, th
ose people are not my friends.”
At this point, Wade was terribly confused. Why would Rhett spend so much time with people who were not his friends?
Rhett continued, “Those people like to spend time in the company of people like themselves in hopes of regaining their money. You cannot play card games at school. They are the games of the disrepute, and I was irresponsible for teaching them to you. Do you understand?”
Wade nodded even though he did not understand at all. He had gained friends, and that was the most important thing to him.
“We’ll not speak of this to your mother,” Rhett knowingly nodded and extended his arms. Wade rushed to him, hugging him fiercely, pushing the guilty feelings of misleading his mother and possible disloyalty to his real father aside, and allowed himself to feel loved.
The next day, he returned the boys’ money, but retained his friends. Although the boys’ parents had given directions to stay away from Wade, they found that he could be quite entertaining. He would never be invited to parties or greeted on the streets in the company of their elders, but in the privacy of the inner circles of boyhood friendships, he had gained their respect, and had won lifelong friends.
With all of the excitement of having new friends and spending time with Rhett, Wade did not devote much time to thinking about unpleasantness. He found that relaxing and playing filled his time, and as long as he kept busy he did not think about being lonely, missing Tara, or wondering about Emily. He had even learned to ignore the Yankee uniforms that lingered on the streets. He soon learned to read, and in his spare time, he read every book he could get his hands on. Often Rhett would come home with armloads of books he thought Wade would love, and some that were necessary for literary conversation. Wade was far brighter than his mother credited, and he was soon delving into books written for adults, and making references with Rhett that Scarlett did not understand, which perturbed her.
In spite of his unequalled academic success, mounting confidence, and sudden growth spurt, Scarlett still viewed him as a weak, spineless child, lacking in intelligence and good looks. He never saw her, and if he dared approach her, she would tell him to go play and quit bothering. One day after such an encounter, he stopped to stare at her, abhorred by her change in appearance. He saw her so little that he had not noticed her emerging belly beneath her draping silk and velvet garments. Realization of her pregnancy unearthed him, remembering her promise that it wouldn’t happen again.
“Another lie,” he thought viciously. “Just like all the others.” He began to number the utterances that were known lies as well as those that he just suspected, and even those he had heard in rumor. He knew that this woman never loved his father, and he never truly believed that she loved him in spite of the emotionless routine with which she said the words. As he continued through the list of faults that his mother possessed, his heart began to harden. He would never know the exact moment that he had begun to despise this woman standing before him, but fear and love would eventually give way to self-protection, just as Uncle Rhett had advised.
Only days later, Scarlett gave birth to a little baby girl, affectionately nicknamed Bonnie. The day was torturous for Wade. The adults, too afraid and busy to initiate a conversation with a boy too young to understand such unmentionable subjects, sent him to various places, beckoning him to be quiet and not disturb his sick mother. Wade had no idea that the time was so close, and he trembled with fear that she would die and shame for the disrespectful thoughts he had thought when he realized her situation. He didn’t want her to die, and he was terribly afraid she would leave without knowing that he loved her.
He pictured the black carriage pulled by black horses with black plumes, and his chest heaved underneath the pressure of anxiety. He felt as though bricks were lying on his shoulders, and he couldn’t breathe. Over and over he tried to approach anyone for news of her condition, but no one had a moment to stop. They ran frantically through the house, beads of sweat pouring down each face, reacting to the screams heard from his mother’s room above. When all the running had stopped and he heard no more screams, he knew in his heart that she was dead, and he was overcome with sorrow.
Finally, Rhett came down, celebrating the birth of his baby girl. Despite his relief that his mother was fine, Wade’s heart sunk even lower. “Another girl,” he thought with disgust. Ella had been such a disappointment. All she wanted to do anymore was play with dolls, and people fussed over girls all the time. This girl would be just one more distraction for his mother, taking her away from him, and now that Rhett had his own child, Wade was firmly convinced that he was out of the picture. Rhett’s words that afternoon had reassured him slightly, but he knew the future, and it did not include him. Now more than ever he needed his mother, but she wasn’t available, so he drank the wine in celebration with Rhett and Mammy, pretended to be happy, and went to bed that night more miserable than he had been in years.
Within just a couple of weeks, Scarlett was up and about, running in her usual flurry to take care of her business, and Wade was left to fend for himself. The atmosphere of the house had changed dramatically, and Wade felt oppression hanging in every corner. Although the house had always felt looming and gloomy, now there was a tenseness that permeated the walls and screamed of discomfort.
Wade walked through the lonely halls, not willing to play with Ella and avoiding Bonnie for he was sure that she was the cause of this sudden change. After she was born, the world shifted and seemed to revolve around her. Just as he had predicted, Rhett was smitten with this beautiful baby, and Wade was feeling the effects of being left alone. Rhett did not come home nearly as often and when he was, he was with them in the nursery, but his attention was focused on Bonnie. Only in his darkest moments did Uncle Rhett focus on him, and at these times, feelings of warmth would surround him, taking him to the days before Bonnie was born, but these moments were fleeting and rare.
Most disturbing was the sudden conflicts that seemed to arise between Rhett and Scarlett on a daily basis. They had always had little arguments that lasted briefly, but Wade sensed the passion between the two. Now suddenly, the ardor was gone, and only stone cold faces met each other as they spoke words which trampled the invisible line between two people which cannot be crossed without consequence. Words were laced with spite and he felt as if he could wade through the underlying current of anger and hatred which flowed so freely from their mouths.
Time passed without joy or sorrow. Wade quietly withdrew without anyone’s notice. He became quiet and sullen, avoiding friends at school, walking as though in a daze through the muck which seemed to surround him and weigh him down. He dreamt of fairy tales he had read, and longed for another time and place when the world was bright and they lived happily ever after, but as for now, grey clouds swirled about him, pulling him into an invisible hole that he could not permeate by himself.
Months turned to years of silent mourning as Rhett left more and more, then suddenly was gone altogether for three months with Bonnie. He often peeked into Scarlett’s office and found her staring at an unseen object obviously deep in thought. As soon as she saw him, she would snap back to reality, pretending that everything was fine, but he could sense her sorrow. Something was plaguing her as well, and he knew that his misery was shared with her.
When Rhett was gone, Scarlett tried a few times to reconcile with her children. She would approach them and try to join in their game, read a story, or hold a conversation, but years of neglect had left a mark on the children. As soon as she walked into Wade’s room, fear would overcome him, and he would begin to hiccup softly. Dropping the book he was reading into his lap, he would raise his head and stare at her. She had never wanted him before, and he wondered at her intentions now. He was suspicious and distrusting of her, and he could tell by her grimace when she saw the fear in his eyes, that she was not fond of him either. She bristled at the boy’s dark hair and soft, brown eyes that reminded her of Charles Hamilton, his father. She did not see hi
s characteristics that he possessed which were so much like her own. She only saw his pale, weak face, scrawny childish form, and a book on his lap, which would certainly never earn her respect. She had always despised books, and she couldn’t understand the diversion that a book provided, and he definitely needed. She overlooked the fact that the characteristics which she so despised now were partly of her own doing. She had made him fearful and spineless, and in her presence he had no control of that fear. He was pale and scrawny because he needed and longed for the soft earth of Tara which gave him strength, but he was confined to a large house, without close associations. Finally, the only man who could provide warmth and strength had gone, and although it was never spoken, they were both convinced that his absence was her fault as well. After three such visits, she finally gave up, much to Wade’s relief.
Hearing Bonnie’s padded footsteps running up the stairs made Wade’s heart skip a beat, knowing that finally, Rhett was home. He had so many things to share with him, and maybe his mother would be happier, but as he stormed from his room, horror swept him as he saw his mother tumble down the long flight of stairs. Rhett rushed to her, shouting for help, and Wade knew that she was dead. Turning from the scene, he ran to his room and locked the door, not willing to face the news. He wouldn’t believe that she was gone.
Scarlett, who had been the source of so much childhood misery, had given him life, and he could not face life without her. She had forced him face reality when he would rather avoid it. She had driven him to become strong, courageous, and manly. Although she had never recognized these traits, he knew that he possessed them, and his love for her was almost as strong as his fear. As with most tragedies, Wade put the negativity from his mind, focusing on her strengths and his own downfalls, which only makes the stress of the situation deeper. Falling to his knees, he tried desperately to remember the prayers that Suellen had taught him, but the words would not come, and in his grief, he once again relied on his own words, the pleading of a boy for his mother in the hour of dire need.
When no one had come to check on him and he had seen the sun rise and fall through his bedroom window, he decided he had to be brave. He slipped quietly down the hall to Rhett’s bedroom. Peeking in the door which was slightly ajar, what he saw sent shivers down his spine, and suddenly felt cold. The look on Rhett’s face was frightening. It was wracked with pain and misery. He was suddenly scared of him, and he dared not intrude.
Across the hall, he saw a candle lit in his mother’s room, and he crept to the corner, unnoticed. She was still alive! His mind screamed with delight and then with worry. Why didn’t she wake? Why didn’t Rhett come in to comfort her as she writhed with pain? He had never seen her like this, weak and trembling. He face was pale, and she moaned, but Rhett never came. Confusion and anxiety clouded his mind, and lack of sleep conquered him, as he closed his eyes.
When he was discovered the next day, he was run out of his mother’s room, and Aunt Melly assured him that his mother would live, but he was still unconvinced. As he walked the long halls, pacing as he had seen Rhett do the night before, he tried to push nightmarish scenes from his mind. He was terrified, and there was nothing he could do. Why didn’t she call for Rhett? Why didn’t he answer? Pride. Stubborn pride kept them away from each other, though he knew they loved each other beyond comprehension. His mind, though that of a child, could far better comprehend matters of the heart than the two grown-ups that he held so dearly. He vowed that he would never allow stubborn pride to affect him. Only forthright devotion could stand through the darkest hour. He thought of Emily, and knew what he would say to her the next time they met.
It took far too long for his mother to recover, but each day brought news that she would be fine. He was happy to know that she had survived such a terrible fall, but agony wrenched his heart as he saw the cool attitudes that prevailed between Scarlett and her husband. So easily, the hurt could have been mended, with only a few kind words, but they were never spoken. The courtesy passed between the two was even more chilling than the words of bitterness, and when she was finally well enough to go to Tara, Wade felt nothing more than relief to leave behind the bleak darkness which now hung over the Peachtree House.
As they moved slowly down the long road to Tara, Wade could feel the weight lifting from his shoulders. Home was ahead, and as soon as they reached the long drive, he could see the house in its magnificent glory. It was a beautiful place, and Wade saw it in all its glory, before the war and pilfering, before the burning and invasion. It held a magical charm that called to him. Gone were the memories of fear and hunger, for this was his refuge, his strength, as vitality ran through red dirt, so did the life that he longed for.
He impatiently greeted his Aunt Suellen, Uncle Will, and new cousin, Susie, frowning at the thought of yet another girl. He wanted to get to his plot that he had cleared the last time he had been here. It seemed like ages ago that he had run through the fields and down to the creek, and he fidgeted through dinner waiting for the moment that he would be released, trying to ignore the bickering that had already started between his mother and Suellen.
Finally, he was excused, and without pushing in his chair, he ran from the dining room and out the back door, past the coal bin to the back forty. It seemed like a much further walk because it had been so long since he had been in the fresh air, feeling the freedom of running swiftly. Admiring his work in the field which Will had maintained, he ran down through the trees to the creek running between Tara and the Fontaine plantation. Picking his way through the vines, he sat down, taking off his shoes, and let his feet soak in the cool water. Around him, the birds chirped cheerfully as if welcoming him home.
Leaning back, he closed his eyes listening to the locusts cry and the sound of the water flowing gently over the rocks, lapping the banks. Feeling a presence, he opened his eyes reluctantly, and relished in the sight that he had longed for on so many cruel, lonely nights. Above him stood his blonde angel, smiling. He immediately forgot every thought, and the words he had so carefully recited in his mind were lost, for the sight that stood before him was enchanting and quite surprising. He rose to his feet, and took her hands, standing back. Emily was no longer a small girl in her cotton dress and bare feet.
“What took you so long to get here? I have been waiting here since I saw your wagon pull up,” Emily’s eyes danced enticingly as she questioned him.
“I… um…” Wade was speechless. He could not concentrate on the words she spoke. Enraptured by her beauty, his eyes traveled over her, memorizing every line and curve that had emerged while he was away.
“Cat got your tongue, silly?”
“I just don’t know what to say. I honestly had so many things to tell you, but…” his words faltered, embarrassed by the thoughts that rushed through his mind. He had seen no other girl in this light. She was not dressed like the other girls in Atlanta, covered with miles of plain colored material. Her light yellow, thin summer dress hung loosely on her shoulders, waving with the breeze, without the tight under things which Wade knew nothing of, but knew were not there. Such things were not necessary in the country where they didn’t see people, and were considered luxuries which could not be afforded. These thoughts left him flabbergasted.
Emily suddenly grabbed him around his shoulders and held him tightly, “I missed you so terribly. I had no one to talk to except my silly sisters and mean brothers. You are closest friend, and now that you are back, we shall see each other every day!” She almost giggled with excitement as she pulled him to the ground, and began talking rapidly telling him all the things that had happened since his departure.
“I didn’t tell you goodbye,” Wade interrupted. “I waited, but you never came.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Emily lowered her eyes, remembering the day of his departure. She would never tell him why she avoided him, nor would she allow him to know her deepest secrets. For now, she could just enjoy talking with him.
He had grown qui
te a bit since their last meeting as well, she mentally noted. He had grown several inches taller, but he had lost his dark complexion. His eyes hung in the corners as if months of sorrow had altered his soft brown eyes, which he tended to divert from her gaze. He was no longer that self-confident brazen boy that had charmed her so long ago, and she knew that she would have to gently build up his spirit and lift the burden from his shoulders.
Wade sat quietly listening to her talk, enjoying the sound of her voice, escaping from thoughts that had crowded his mind over the past months, and relaxing in the cool grass. When she told him that she had to go, he released her hand reluctantly, pressing her for promises of her return.
Everyday for the next month, they met at the creek, talking for hours, and reluctantly parting. Wade did not work hard during this visit. He would wander after Uncle Will, helping him do a few chores, regaining his strength, then escaping to wait for Emily. He avoided his mother whenever possible not bearing to listen to the constant bickering, and most times, he had to sneak out of the house or Ella and Susie would be right behind him, following his every move. He didn’t have time to bother with girls, now, he had the open fields, the sun on his back, and the love of a nine year old girl in his heart. He had to make the most of his time here because he knew it would not be long before he was forced to return to Atlanta.
After a long morning of chores, Wade finally managed to make his way to Emily. Brimming with pride, his confidence and color had returned, and he couldn’t wait to hear her chatter about the funny things that usually happened every night at her house. “She was incredibly lucky to be part of such a huge family that always seemed to be having fun and playing,” he thought. He secretly hoped that someday the seemingly irreparable damage would be fixed, and his family could be happy again. He thought of happy times, jokes he would play on his sisters and stories he would tell Rhett if only things could go back to the way they were before.
He didn’t notice the tears that Emily wiped away as she made her towards him, and by the time she had reached him, her face was lit with happiness, and all unhappiness was thrown aside as if bad things had never happened. She began to tell him the happenings of the night before, relaying pranks that her brothers had pulled on her mother, making him roll with laughter. He was sorry to feel her hand pull away when it was time to go, but he knew that they would return the next day.
Suddenly, he pulled her hand back to stop her. “What are those marks on your legs?” As she had risen indelicately from their designated spot, her dress had pulled under her hand, baring her thigh.
“Oh, nothing, I have to go now.” She pulled her hand hard, trying to get away, but he held her firmly.
He had never seen bruises so dark that reached across both legs in long strips.
“Tell me what happened, please,” he begged.
“I just bumped them as I was getting out of the wagon. It doesn’t hurt much. I really have to go, now,” she pulled away again. He let go of her hand regretfully watching her glide out of the protection of the trees, missing the paleness in her face as she realized that he had almost found out.
Although they never mentioned the marks again, months later after he had sadly returned to the Peachtree House in Atlanta, the memory of those long, dark marks still haunted his mind. She seemed to be so happy, and she had the best family in the world. He could tell by all the stories she told that love prevailed in their house, and never a cross word was spoken. Still, he was not convinced that the marks could be the result of getting out of the wagon. He just had to know.
He went to Rhett, knowing that he would have the answer. Since they had come back from Tara, Rhett had been overwhelmingly attentive and pleasant to be around. The cold distance still ran between him and Scarlett, but there was no more bickering between them, and warmth had been restored to the children, at least.
“Uncle Rhett,” Wade called into the library and waited for an invitation.
Rhett opened the door, “Wade, I thought you weren’t going to call me “uncle” anymore. It is kind of silly.”
“Sorry. Sometimes I forget.” Wade sat down in a deep plush chair across from Rhett, searching for the words he needed.
“No problem, son, what did you need?” Rhett lit a cigar and related that he had his full attention.
“Um… I was just wondering about something. What causes bruises?”
Rhett looked curiously at the boy. “You know what causes bruises. Have you had a million of them?”
“Well, yes. I was more wondering about a specific kind of bruise.” He paused, “What would cause long bruises like stripes across the back of a person’s legs?”
Rhett stood up, slamming his cigar into a nearby tray. “Where have you seen bruises like that?”
Wade was suddenly frightened. He could tell by the sudden fierceness in his black eyes that he had made Rhett angry, which could only mean that something had to be terribly wrong. Those bruises could not have happened on the wagon. There had to be some other explanation, and he had to know, no matter how angry Rhett got.
“I haven’t seen them on anybody here. It was while we were at Tara. Nobody you know.” Wade saw Rhett’s face relax slightly, but a wild look still remained.
“You have to tell me who it is. That kind of bruise is the result of being lashed with a buggy whip. Who is it?” Rhett clenched his fists, knowing the brutality of man with a whip. If anyone had whipped his stepson, the boy that he held close to his heart and cherished as much as if he had been his own, he would rip him apart. “Did somebody hit you? Did they? Who was it, damn it?”
Wade’s eyes grew wide as he realized that his darling friend was in grave danger. Terror ripped at his heart, fearing for her, ignoring the anger that swept through Rhett causing him to use foul language.
“My friend, Emily, lives next door. Her family farms a plot of land from the Fontaine’s. She had those bruises. Rhett, what am I going to do? She is hurt, Rhett, what am I going to do?”
“I don’t know, son.” He put his strong arms around the boy’s shoulders, holding him close, relieved to know that he had not been harmed. He knew the nature of a man who would whip his own daughter, and he knew that his hands were tied. Nothing could be done except reassure his son that Emily would be fine, and hold on to his children firmly, protecting them with every bit of strength he had in his body.
Wade did not think about the subject again. He had placed the problem in Rhett’s hands, and he was assured that Rhett would take care of it, though he had no idea how. The next few days were a flurry, as he was grabbed from his room by Mammy, and he and Ella were taken to Aunt Melly’s house for a three day picnic. They played games, ate their favorite foods, and stayed up late whispering in the dark. They knew it was out of the ordinary to have such an extended stay with Aunt Melly, and by the time it was time to go, Aunt Melly looked strained and tired from so much playing. As Aunt Melly walked them to their own home, they began a cheerful song of “Ring around the Roses” and Aunt Melly did not stop them until just before they entered the house.
Aunt Melly placed her hands on their shoulders, not knowing whether it was her place to disclose such personal information, but she did not want Scarlett or Rhett to have to do it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, gathering all of her courage to share the story with the children. “Wade, Ella, you have a hard job ahead of you, but I know you can handle it.”
The children looked at Aunt Melly with frank curiosity wondering what had changed since they left her house so jubilantly only moments before. Aunt Melly continued, “Your sister, Bonnie, had an accident. She was thrown from her horse as she tried to jump.”
Wade breathed a sigh of relief. At least she was okay. They would have to be especially quiet for the next from days, but he had fallen from his horse a time or two and although it was painful, he had been just fine.
“Bonnie didn’t make it. She has gone to be with the Lord, and your mother and father are very upset. You must be
especially good, right now.” She knew these last words were spoken in vain for these children were the always well-behaved, especially in the presence of their mother.
Wade stared at her incredulously. It couldn’t be true!
Ella started crying immediately for she adored her little sister. Wade just continued to stare at Aunt Melly in disbelief, but as they passed through the funeral rituals the next day, her death was undeniable. Little Bonnie, who had grabbed his heart, followed him around, and utterly annoyed him would not be around anymore, and he was unsure how he could face another disaster. As he stood in the rain watching them lay Bonnie to rest, he reflected over the last four years of his life, filled with strife and tragedy. He wondered if he had done something to lose the Lord’s favor, as he hung his head, tears rolling down his cheeks.