by Lana Mowdy
Chapter 11
Wade found his way to an empty bunk and set his pack down beside it. Looking around the large room, he saw rows of bunk beds covered with old, worn hand patched quilts, with packs neatly stacked underneath. In one corner was a large washbasin on a wooden stand, and along one wall were shelves with empty hooks where the wranglers hung their ropes and hats. The house had been made of large stones, and he could see daylight through the small holes in the wall and the patched roof, but there were no windows to let in the warmth of the sun, and he shivered as though he was still on Silver’s back, trudging through the icy wind.
The men walked into the house slowly, dragging from a long days work. They walked to the washbasin one by one and washed their long, tired faces, worn and leathered from years of working in the hot sun, exposed to wind, dirt, and harsh weather. A tall, muscular man walked up to him and looked him over without approval and snickered, “Kinda green, aren’t ya?”
Wade had no idea what he meant, and his look of confusion seemed to entertain the other men, and they chuckled hoarsely, as Wade’s face grew red from humiliation.
“I was just saying that you look mighty young. How old are ya?” The man continued to laugh, chucking him on the arm.
Wade bowed his head slightly, then remembered to maintain eye contact to show confidence, and answered, “I am fifteen, sir. I haven’t rustled cattle before, but I am a hard worker and a quick learner.”
“Alright, then, we’ll see what you got; see if you can handle it, and if not, you’ll be finding yourself down the road. Got it?” The man seemed to lose his sense of humor quickly, and Wade saw that he was not a man to be messed with, for he was intimidating and large. He introduced himself as Jobe, the man in charge, and the boss of the cattle drive underneath the owner of the ranch. He went around and introduced the rest of the cowhands, as they tipped their hats and greeted him. “We’re in a hurry to get to the big house for some supper, then we’ll get back here, I’ll show you around the place and line you out on your duties. For now, just follow us in for grub. We’ll eat in the back of the big house, just take what is put on your plate and eat every bite without complaint, and most importantly, there’ll be a couple of girls in there to serve, don’t look at them or talk to them. They are Mr. Kellecee’s daughters, and he is mighty protective. The last man that dared look at one the wrong way found himself, well, you might say, on the other side, if you know what I mean.”
Wade was not quite sure what he meant, but it did not sound pleasant. He did not want to find himself in any compromising situation, for he knew that Emily would make her way here, and he had to stay on to make sure that when she got here, he was ready. Besides, he already knew in his heart that no other girl could hold a candle to Emily. In fact, she might be in the big house even as they spoke.
He followed the men to the house, walking in last, and found an empty seat on the bench close to the end of the long table, keeping his eyes lowered, just as he saw the rest of the men do the same. Three young ladies walked into the room carrying plates of food, small portions of meat with beans and cornbread. They lay a plate in front of each man, then returned through the door with another until all of the men were served, then they ate in silence. Wade glanced here and there making sure he was following the routine of the others. On one of those glances, he accidentally met the eyes of one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen, and he averted them quickly, not only to stay on this side, whatever that meant, but he immediately felt shame for even thinking such a thing about another girl when Emily might be in the other room this very minute.
He pictured the girl in his mind, her dark, auburn hair, tied back loosely, with tiny streaks of gold flowing throughout which were highlighted by her bright yellow costume trimmed with bits of green embroidery around her neckline and wrists. Her eyes were dark pools of greenish-gray that looked as if they were hiding impish joy behind her masquerade of serious business. Each of her small features, complimented her delicate frame and small hands, and he could hear the rustling of her skirts as she continued to fill water glasses around the table. He drank quickly to see if she would fill his cup and as she reached past him to grab it, her arm gently brushed his arm, sending chills down his spine, then almost purposely, her hand grazed his as she placed his glass back on the table in front of him. Thankfully, they finished their meal and excused themselves quietly before another encounter, for he hoped that no one had seen what he had felt in that moment.
Dropping into his bunk that night, he lay for a few minutes thinking of the girl in the house before falling into a deep sleep that seemed to last only a few moments before he heard the rooster crow. He had not slept in a bed for months, and he was so comfortable, he lay there, hoping he had mistaken the sound. Suddenly he felt someone kicking his bed, and he opened his eyes to see the man that he thought they called Red standing beside him, dressed and ready, telling him to get up. He had a long day ahead of him, learning the ropes, and he was ready to find any clues that would lead to Emily.
The day began with breakfast in the big house, following the same procedures as the night before then they mounted their horses to begin the day’s work. The cattle had to be counted as they were led from the corral to the pasture to graze and feed. Wade was shown how to lead a cow back to the herd, circling and moving them along, keeping them together. The cattle were tough and dangerous, and he was warned of the dangers of the long horns that could run a man through. These were not the breed of cattle found in Georgia, for these were stout and strong, willful and belligerent at times. They had to be under constant surveillance to keep them from becoming lost or hurt from the numerous dangers that surrounded them.
Wade was glad that as he had traveled to this country, he had no idea of the dangers that had surrounded him and had somehow avoided. Rattlesnakes, tarantulas, and wolves roamed over the land, prowling for its next victim. Rustlers were anxious to find strays that could be easily stolen, and some tribes of Native Americans had been known to attack, wary of the white man who had created great hardships for them since their arrival. This land was full of perils, and the people fought constantly against man and nature for their survival.
The day was long and full of instructions, orders being roared across the barren land, to keep watch, herd them in, and follow them out. The air was chilled, but the temperature was beginning to rise as the sun made its way back to the northern hemisphere, and the dust settled in Wade’s chest making him cough uncontrollably. Across the land, he could see no other settlement, and it gave him an eerie feeling of loneliness that he longed to escape. Once the cattle had spent the day grazing and the sun was beginning to set, they were counted again and herded back into the corral where they would spend the night under the eagle eye of night watch men.
Each day continued as the day before and Wade soon became an experienced cowhand, anticipating the movement of the cattle, and expertly driving them back to the herd. He learned the best place for them to graze, and where the least treacherous watering holes lie. During times of inactivity, Patch, a man who had lost his eye during a stampede to an angry beeve with swinging horns, showed Wade some rope tricks, which he would practice, twirling and handling the tools of the trade. He learned to love the wide open ranges, and the feeling of freedom. The days grew warmer and longer, and each evening at supper, the mysterious girl made her way to him, smiling gently, and subtly enticing him with her feminine wiles.
Before breakfast, Mr. Kellecee pulled Wade to the side, “What did you say your name was, boy?”
Wade responded, slightly worried that something had been said, “Wade Hampton Hamilton, sir.”
“Wade Hampton was a courageous Georgian leader in the Civil War. Did your father serve under him?”
“Yes, sir, he was killed in battle alongside him.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I knew your grandfather well when I lived in Georgia.” Wade was unnerved, for he had never heard anyone speak of his grandfather, an
d he desired to know more, but found himself too nervous to speak. “I want you to escort the ladies to town for some shopping. I have some work to do around here.” Wade nodded uncertainly. This was a pretty important job, and there was no room for mistakes, for he would be escorting Mr. Kellecee’s most important cargo. However, he was pretty excited about going to town, and was amazed that there was civilization within miles.
As soon as breakfast had been served and cleared, he was heading west toward The Flats, a small town just north of Fort Griffin, with Mrs. Kellecee and her three daughters in the closed carriage. He could hear them talking excitedly, for it was not often that they made a trip into town, and they consulted their list of items over and over, hoping not to miss anything. He wished for an opportunity to speak with the green-eyed girl alone, but knew it was improbable.
The town was only three miles to the west of Kellecee ranch, like an oasis of life sprouting in the middle of the open grasslands. Fort Griffin perched itself on the top of a hill, and beneath the fort lay a town filled with merchants, saloons, and homes. He stayed on the driver’s seat of the carriage as the women made their way through stores, but soon tired and hopped down to take in the sights of the town, and visited a saloon long enough to get a drink. When he emerged, he saw the green-eyed girl standing by herself beside the carriage.
“Where have you been?” She batted her eyes at him, speaking the first words he had heard her speak.
“I was just quenching my thirst. Is there anything I can do for you?”
She perched her parasol to shade her eyes as she fluttered them invitingly. “Well, we have never formerly met. I am Alice, and I know you are Wade, from Georgia. I was just so bored following Mother and Sisters, and I thought maybe you could escort me as I take a quick walk to stretch my legs. They are so sore from riding,” she spoke with an appealing, syrupy voice that could drive a man to cater to her on his knees.
She took him by the arm and began walking quickly glad to be away from her mother’s keen eyes. Wade avoided her eyes by looking around him, arranging the words that would ask the questions for which he longed to know the answers. Native Americans traveled along the street, and Wade stared for he had never seen such interesting dress.
“They are Tonkawa. When we first arrived here from Georgia, Mother was very sick. Every day, the Tonkawa came by every day to care for her. They fed her and gave her special medicine until she was well. On the last day, they brought me a doll dressed just like that which I have displayed in my room. Maybe someday you can come up and see it.” Wade’s mouth opened wide, for he had never heard a girl say anything so forward, and his mother would have disapproved of her immediately, but she continued walking as though she had said nothing extraordinary.
Loosening his tongue so as not to stutter, he changed the subject quickly, “So you are from Georgia, too. I have met a cousin of yours, Emily.” Immediately, Alice’s face paled, then turned a shade of angry, almost a shade of ugly green, and then returned to normal almost as quickly.
“I would love to say that I don’t know of whom you speak, however, I will warn you that she, as well as her mother and father are the black sheep of the family, worthless scoundrels. Her mother, my aunt, ran off to marry a drunken gambler, forever running from the law, and they propagated their rank species with a passel of nasty brats not unlike themselves.”
Wade shrunk at the disgusting words she used to describe the lovely young girl whom he had grown to love and could not imagine anyone speaking of Emily in such a way. “Have you seen her lately?” He continued, ignoring her language and hoping for answers.
Alice jerked her head, this time hiding her emotion, “No, and I hope to never see that ugly creature again. Now, if you don’t mind, let’s change the subject to something more pleasant.” Wade’s heart fell, but he complied with her wishes, and began to answer her questions, fired quickly as though she had rehearsed each one. “I want to return to Georgia so terribly, but Father is such a beast. He is afraid that I will marry someone unsuitable, so he keeps me under lock and key. This place is dreadfully boring and frightening. Don’t you want to go back to Georgia? Do you have a plantation? How many acres? Is Hamilton or O’Hara a suitable family?”
Wade carefully explained his relations and each of the branches of the Hamilton-Wilkes kinship as well as the O’Hara legacy. He described Tara in exquisite detail, and as he spoke, he began to miss his home intensely. Alice’s eyes grew wider as he continued to speak, as plans raced through her mind to get her back to Georgia. She could make him forget that revolting girl, Emily, and she was sure that she could convince her father to allow her to marry Wade. He came from a proper family line, and he had land and a home. She could see her dreams formulating as they walked back towards the shop where she would meet her mother. Her step was light, and her eyes sparkled, knowing she would leave this dreadful place soon.
Alice pleaded with her mother to allow her to ride in the front on the driver’s seat, claiming that she enjoyed the warmth and desperately needed fresh air, but her mother refused, saying that the cool air would bring on consumption. Wade sighed with relief, glad to be away from company, needing to deliberate over the information he had retrieved. He was interested in the falling out that had occurred within Emily’s family, but more importantly, she had not made her way, and he had been so sure that she would be here. However, after learning that these cousins were on her mother’s side, and her mother had passed, her father would not come here. Had he made a mistake by coming here? He had no idea where to search next. Texas was a huge state, and there were many miles to cover. She had telegrammed they were heading to Texas, but she could have been mistaken, so she could really be anywhere in the United States, and his only means of searching was on horseback. Then again, maybe it had taken longer for them to cross over, for they were traveling slower than he. His questions were endless, and he had no answers.
His head was swimming by the time he had dropped the ladies in front of the house, had taken care of the horse and buggy, and returned to the bunkhouse to lay down. So many questions and possibilities had occurred to him that his entire plan had become muddy, and he seriously wondered if he would ever find her. The bunkhouse seemed more active, and he noticed a new hand in the midst. His name was Curly, and when he removed his hat, Wade could see where that name had come from. The man’s head was covered with short, blond curly hair. Wade tried to study him closely, yet inconspicuously, for it seemed that he had seen this man somewhere before. He was a small man, slightly thick around the middle, with bright blue eyes. He didn’t speak often, and when he did, his voice sounded forcibly low. He quickly decided that he had seen him during his travels, and dismissed him quickly for he had more important matters to consider. He still had to make alternate plans to find Emily, and he could not afford distractions.
Days became hectic with the onset of spring. Preparations had to be made for the cattle drive, and everyone had jobs to do. New calves were being born, and each had to be inspected and cared for. The longhorns that would make the long journey had to be counted and inspected several times for branding and health, for only the sturdy would survive the journey. The weak would be left behind, hopefully to be ready for next year’s trek across the Great Plains. The chuck wagon was being prepared, and each of the hands was given his assignment.
Because Wade and Curly were the two newest hands, and Wade seemed a natural, the two were paired, hoping that Wade could train Curly quickly. They would take the flank, and so they spent days together as Wade showed Curly how to round strays back into the herd and keep them moving. Curly still didn’t have much to say, and he was a good listener, so Wade did most of the talking. He longed for someone to share his thoughts, and hoped that Curly could direct him to make a decision. He told him about Emily and his long search for her, but he saw no reaction for Curly kept his handkerchief wrapped around his face to keep out the dust, and he concentrated on their tasks. Finally, after a few days, he asked
Curly for an opinion. He had no idea what course he should take, and he was still determined to find her.
Curly stayed silent for a moment then replied in his rough voice, “I think you should stay with the herd. You might find what you are looking for at the end of this journey.”
Wade stood still for a moment, considering the advice. It still struck him at the most inopportune moments that he had met this man before, and even the words just spoken seemed familiar, but he couldn’t place them. The tone of voice and word choice was perfectly in tune, and he knew that he had to follow through. Not another word was spoken between the two, for words were not needed. He had his answer, and he trusted this man that he had not known long, but had known before.
Over the next couple of weeks, no matter where Wade went, Alice was there. It was as if she always knew where he was going to be and planted herself in the exact same location. When he went to the river to wash his clothes, she was there doing laundry. She was in the horses’ stalls when he saddled Silver, and she was even at the water pump when he stopped to fill his canteen. At each point, she would make pleasant conversation, smile invitingly, and strategize a way to make physical contact. Just as she had touched him during his first supper at the ranch, she continued to devise a way to touch him during each meal afterwards. She would swipe a caressing hand across his shoulder or allow her arm to rest on his while she refilled his cup of water. She would sway her skirts alluringly by swinging her hips from side to side, and raise her eyes demurely beneath her long lashes. Discouraged by his lack of interest, she would furtively stamp her foot in rage, and then formulate a new plan to beguile him with her charm. She knew that men were silly creatures who would fall easily into feminine traps, but she had no idea that he had seen them all, and knew their effect. She only knew that she had to work quickly, for he would soon be leaving, and she had to stop him.
She met him by the water pump after carefully monitoring her family; any interruptions would simply ruin her plan. She had laid all her cards on the table with this one, and she was convinced that it would work. When he rounded the corner, he started to turn, but she caught him. She placed her hand on his strong arm and looked up into his soft brown eyes. She had not noticed before that he had become ruggedly handsome, for his face had lost the look of a boy, his jaw had hardened, and yet his eyes remained soft and tender. She very gently raised her hand to his face, caressing it lovingly with her soft hands, and brought his head down to meet hers. She avoided touching his lips, and whispered in his ear. He could feel her warm breath on his neck as she whispered, “Take me away from here. I love you.” Then she met his lips with her own, running her fingers through his soft hair, and down his neck which was still warm from the harsh sun.
He could feel her body pressing towards him, and he felt his lips defy the refusal that ripped through his mind. Her soft lips urged him on, and he could no longer remember why he would reject her sweet embrace, and he raised his hands to stroke her hair and hold her close. Suddenly, he heard a noise behind him, as if someone had taken a deep breath, and his senses returned. He pushed Alice away quickly and turned to see Curly dive around the side of the house, escaping their view. Frantically, he cleared his mind. That was too close, for if the intruder had been Alice’s father, he would have been forced to marry her because he had compromised her, or he would have found himself facing a revolver. He could not take that chance.
“Don’t you love me?” Alice pleaded with him, tears streaming down her face.
Wade hung his head, for he had no idea how she could have concluded that his affections for her were more than merely plutonic. He had never responded to her advances, nor had they spoken of anything personal since he had arrived. But he knew the hurt of love lost, and his heart ached that he would cause anyone such pain. “I am deeply remorseful that my actions could have possibly led you to believe such a thing.”
“But I love you, and we can go back to Georgia. You may not love me, but I will be good to you.” She dropped her hands to her sides, and decided to play her last card, the truth. “I just want to go home, and this is the only way. My father would allow you to take my hand because of who you are. You are my last hope.”
Wade’s heart twisted, knowing he had no solution to this beautiful girl’s wretched pain. “I have pledged my heart to another. I’m sorry.” He could not bear to see her tears for another moment, so he turned and left her.
He walked slowly back to the bunkhouse, stunned. He was totally unprepared for Alice’s advances, and he seriously regretted his reaction, for he did not mean to make her cry or break her heart. He understood her longing for Georgia; he felt the same desire, but her solution was unfeasible. His heart belonged to Emily, and he was not willing to do anything to jeopardize their relationship.
As he entered the bunkhouse, he found Curly sitting on his bed, looking dazed and angry. Striking up a conversation, in order to forget the events that had just transpired, he said, “Boy, I will sure be glad to get on the trail.”
Curly replied, angrily, “It matters not to me whether you go along or not. In fact, you can go to Halifax for all I care.” He spit on the floor and stomped out of the door.
Wade stared after him. What had come over him? What would make him suddenly so angry? Contemplating his bewildering reaction, Wade began to look at the facts in a completely new light, and he lost his breath. Curly was like no other man he had met in his life. His shoulders were narrow, and his feet were tiny. His features were soft, and yet his voice was much lower than one would expect, almost as if he were forcing himself to speak like a man. Could it be?
He ran out the door, looking for Curly in every direction. He spotted him on his horse, heading towards the watering hole that they had used earlier that day, so Wade mounted Silver and rode after him.
Catching up, he grabbed Curly’s reins, forcing him to stop. Wade demanded, “Speak to me in your regular voice.” Curly glared at him, unwilling to utter a sound.
“Speak to me or I … I,” Wade was at a loss for words.
“Or you’ll what?” Curly spat angrily.
Wade stared at him incredulously, dropping his reins. He heard the voice that he had recorded in his mind, the loveliest voice, the voice he had dreamt of on lonely nights, one that he had feared he would never hear again. It was the voice of Emily.
“You’re…” Wade continued to stare; amazed that he had not recognized her sooner. She had cut her hair, and kept her face hidden behind a handkerchief, but her eyes were now suddenly familiar, and his heart ached knowing that she had been beside him for so long.
“And? You think I will fall into your arms now? Not likely, sir. Now, if you will excuse me, I would like to be alone. You can go back to Alice, and bask in her beastly glow. I’ll have nothing more to do with you.” She turned her back on him, and continued to ride around to the other side of the pond.
Realization swept over him as he remembered her presence as Alice kissed him, and his face reddened with embarrassment and anger. She had only seen Alice’s assault, and left before he had defended himself and articulated his love for Emily. After traveling so far, he could not allow her to escape him, again, and he decided to follow her.
“Emily,” he called until she finally stopped and turned to face him. “Please, listen to me. You have misconstrued the scene, and I can explain exactly what happened.”
“There is no need to explain. I know my viperous cousin, and I also know you, and now you know me. It seems to me that light has broken through, and no one is in the dark. So if you will excuse me, I think I will enjoy my new vision.”
Wade fought to speak through his dry throat, fearing that she would never listen to him, and she would get away again. “Emily, you have to listen. I have come so far to find you, and I cannot lose you now.”
“First of all, in order to lose me, that would imply that at some point in time you had me, which you did not. Secondly, I am not going anywhere, for you see, I am going to Dodg
e City. I am going to earn a paycheck, and I am going purchase a train ticket home. I do not now, nor have I ever needed you to rescue me. So do what you wish, and if that is Alice, so be it.” Anger flared in her eyes as she tried to turn away from him, again, but he could not allow her to avoid him. He had waited so long to profess his love to her, and now everything was wrong. He longed to take her in his arms and disclose every emotion that had driven him to ride thousands of miles to find her.
“Emily, you are my love, and I told Alice as much. I told her that I could never love another, for you hold my heart. The memory of your touch and your voice has driven me to face obstacles that should have defeated me, but I overcame because of you. I…”
Emily interrupted sharply, “I will hear no more of your lies.” She slowly drew a pistol from her holster and pointed it at Wade. He recognized it immediately, for it was the pistol he had received as a gift from his mother, and the same pistol he had fired when her brother was killed. It was an odd feeling to look down the barrel of his own gun, knowing that she held her finger against the trigger. “Here is the plan. You will go back to the bunkhouse and pretend that you have no idea who I am. You will not look at me or speak to me unless it is protocol. Is that understood?”
Wade nodded his head lightly, but he really did not understand.
Emily pulled back the hammer with her thumb and continued, “If you so much as try to protect me, I will use this. One little slip from you could cost me my freedom, and I am not willing to lose it because of your chivalry.” Wade looked over the barrel into her hard blue, steely eyes. He had never seen her like this. Could it have been a charade; her kindness, beauty, gentility?
“You know I would never hurt you,” Wade pleaded, still confused and hurt.
“I know nothing, nor do you, for that matter.” She narrowed her eyes, ensuring that he fully understood her intentions, and he could see her hand trembling. “For the last time, sir, I bid you good day.” Her glowering eyes pierced his soul, but he had no other recourse. He had spoken the only words he could recollect, and they did not penetrate the thick wall that stood between them. He was not sure that her words were true, but he had no alternative other than to leave her, hoping that she would return to the ranch just as she said.
He turned from her and rode a few paces, then circled to address her once more, “I cannot conceive your thoughts or fathom your motives, but I know in my heart that you still love me, just as I love you, and neither miles nor heartaches nor intrusions can change that.” He trotted slowly back toward the ranch, more afraid than he had been in a long time. The thought of losing her was more frightening than the endless difficulties he had faced in the last year, for losing his life or his health was incomparable to losing hopes, dreams, and sanity.
He rode around the ranch endlessly awaiting her return, for he could not relax until she was in his sight, however when she did return, no words were spoken or glances exchanged. She had spoken her exact intentions, allowing not a moment alone, and he dared not test her fortitude, not fearing her hostility but rather her rejection.
Only a few days remained before they would begin driving the cattle north to Dodge City, and Alice had not abandoned her campaign for his attention. Each evening at dinner, her eyes remained focused on him, and she managed to lay a hand on him at various points throughout each evening, becoming more embittered at each unreciprocated attempt for his affection. Wade withdrew uncomfortably when she would lean over his shoulder, touching his arm or stroking his shoulder, aware of Emily’s presence. He would never let her witness another scene where she could possibly misinterpret his actions.
He could not avoid her forever, though, for she planned their meetings at intervals throughout the day, still hoping that she could win his heart. Upon one such meeting, she looked around, seeing no one, and decided to approach him in a different manner. “Wade, tell me about this girl who has your heart. Is it anyone I know?”
Wade faltered slightly. He knew her opinion of Emily did not wish to embark on that discussion again. “No. It is someone from home.”
“How about if I just be blunt?” She didn’t wait for an answer, “I can love you better than whatever girl you have waiting in the corner, and I would much rather you take me because you want to than because I tell my father that you have compromised me. I believe that down here in Texas, they call it a “shotgun wedding” and they are really not so pleasant.” She cocked her head, convinced that she had the upper hand. “By the way, your friend Curly has a little secret, doesn’t she? Yes, I said she. Her family is looking for her in The Flats. I’m sure my father would be obliged to take her to her kin, if I told him who she was.” She always did like being in control, and she could sense the power she held simply by looking at Wade’s face which had turned completely white, strained by the implication. “I’ll just let you think about your answer. I’m sure that you will feel compelled to make the right decision for both of us.” She winked at him then bounced off as if she had just shared a schoolgirl secret, and was off to play innocently with her dolls.
At one time, Wade had found Alice attractive and sweet, but she had turned devilishly sly. Suddenly, her green eyes reminded him of his scheming, vicious mother, and the sight of Alice turned his stomach, making him wretch. Once again, he was held captive by the plot of a cold, calculating green-eyed monster, centered on having her wishes granted at the sake of any person naïve enough to be in her path. Now, not only was his freedom in danger, but Emily was in danger, as well, and somehow, he had to protect her.
Wade spent the next two days avoiding Alice and Emily, considering his options. They were so few. No matter which way he turned, his hands were tied, and his alternatives were limited. If he chose to marry Alice, he would lose Emily, but if he chose to run, Alice would expose Emily’s façade, and he would still lose her. Finally, he made a choice, but it was unspeakable, despicable, and the most ungentlemanly act he could possible perform. His head throbbed when he considered taking action for even the thought of his disloyalty to Emily broke his heart. He couldn’t face her, knowing that he was executing a contemptible act, even though in the end he would save her from the torment of being returned to her father. He had no other choice, and he was running out of time. He resolved to confront Alice and settle the matter immediately.
Alice was fairly easy to find, for she had made herself available, anticipating his prompt reply. Seeing her this time, aware of her true intentions and his ghastly predicament, made him even more aware of his repulsion towards her. He felt nothing but contempt for her, and he was forced to gather every bit of his courage to say the words he had resigned himself to speak. At this moment, he knew that he was doing the unthinkable, carrying out an act that no self-respecting man would consider, proving himself unfaithful to the woman he loved by performing treachery with another.
He met Alice’s eyes, squaring his shoulders, gathering his courage, relying on his valor to carry him through. “Alice, I am prepared to ask your father for your hand in marriage if you will have me.”
Her eyes began to shimmer, knowing she had won the battle, anticipating victory in the war. “Why, Wade, I had no idea.” Her reply was repugnant, but Wade ignored her sarcasm. “I would be honored to be your wife. My father is in the barn, looking at the horses the cowboys will take on the drive. You can go to him right now.”
“You will have to be patient, my darling. I am going to wait until after I have returned from the cattle drive.”
Alice’s eyes grew wide, and she began to speak wildly, flailing her arms frantically, “No, I can’t wait, and you cannot go. It is dangerous, and I cannot bear to wait until you come back. Please, don’t go, please.” The next thing he knew, she was crying passionately, and he could not comprehend her lack of reason. Did she really care that much about him, or was she only impatient to return to Georgia?
“Alice, let’s be reasonable. I do not have the funds to take us back to Georgia. I have to finish the cattle d
rive for two reasons. First, I need the money to get us home, and I have promised your father that I would complete this mission. What good is a man if his word is unreliable? You would love me no other way.” He smiled and touched her arm, hoping to reassure her and calm her down, but she continued to wail uncontrollably.
“Wade, you can’t! I have listened to the men talking, and five men died last year just trying to cross the Red River. I cannot stay in this forsaken land any longer, and you are my only escape. You cannot fail me.”
Wade understood her meaning. He meant no more to her than a free ticket east, and he flinched at her apathetic words. The details of his plan were solidified in his mind as she reiterated that she cared no more for him that he cared for her. He was firm in his response to her, unfaltering in his determination, “No, Alice, it has to be this way. I understand your impatience, but you have to understand the world of gentlemen. If I go back on my promise to fulfill this mission, your father would never trust me enough to give me your hand. Your future is at stake, here, and impatience will most certainly jeopardize your conspiracy. If you want a successful marriage, you might as well learn to trust me, now, for you will have to trust me many more times in our future together.” In order to convince her of his honorable intentions, he took her hands in his, and kissed each of them delicately, and then placed them on his chest, letting her feel the beat of his heart. He searched her eyes for evidence of her faith, drawing a curtain over his own, hoping she could not see his animosity. When she reluctantly agreed to wait for his return, he smiled with relief, and then continued to ready himself for the long cattle drive ahead.