by Lana Mowdy
Chapter 22
Wade and Cole pulled into the train station at Jonesboro in the late afternoon. As he stared out the window at the countryside pulling into town, Wade could see improvements in Jonesboro as the town slowly recuperated from Sherman’s March nearly fifteen years earlier. Several buildings on Main Street were still in ruins as Sherman’s footprints could be seen throughout the town. The railroad station had remained as it had become a booming mode of transportation from Atlanta, and a few stores provided goods for the surrounding county patrons.
Wade was surprised to see Aunt Suellen and Ella waiting at the train station in the old rickety wagon. Will would never have let them drive into town alone, especially for supplies, leading Wade to believe that the situation may be direr than he had imagined. Suellen had telegrammed that Will was sick, but to allow two women to drive the wagon was practically unfathomable. Will must be on death’s bed. The thought of losing another loved one tore at Wade’s heart, and he refused to think of the matter. He unloaded his bags and handed Cole to Suellen as she cooed and exclaimed over such a beautiful baby. Ella remained by Wade’s side, hoping to catch a moment alone with him, but far too many people surrounded them, and soon she fell back to the wagon to wait patiently for a more convenient time. They loaded the wagon with supplies from the store and Wade slowly drove the wagon on the road back to Tara. Not a word was passed between them, and Wade was not in a hurry to hear the news.
Cole began to whimper and Wade looked back to check on him nestled in Suellen’s arms, and he noticed they were shivering in the brisk wind. Early spring had fallen, and the trees had not yet regained their leaves, leaving the road looking barren and dead. He heard the wind whistle through the lonely trees, and he suddenly felt a sense of loneliness that he had not experienced in years. Around him, the ground was hard and dry with patches of frost here and there. He shivered and quickened their pace, hastening the horse to hurry along.
Wade’s guts twisted as he fought the urge to turn tail and run. He longed to see land that had provided a safe haven for him for so many years, but fear shivered through his bones as he turned on the final road to Tara. The sight before him brought tears to his eyes. He had no idea that the house had fallen into such disrepair. The porch was swaggering and several balusters had broken. The yard was overgrown and bushy, and the entire house was in need of a fresh coat of whitewash. He wondered about the cattle, for they probably were in bad shape as well. As they entered the house, Wade could tell that the woman were overwhelmed with chores. The house was clean, but sad faces surrounded him, and more needed repairs throughout the house were apparent.
Suellen watched Wade as he looked around, “We have needed some help around here lately, Wade. Will has been ill for quite some time, and Big Sam tries hard, but he is getting older.”
Wade nodded as he continued to survey the house. Then he walked through the back door to walk around the plantation. His heart began to pound furiously, for he had no idea how he could possibly take over such a task. The fields were in severe disrepair. They had overgrown with weeds and trash. The pastures that he had so carefully prepared had been allowed to turn to bramble. Fences were falling, wood needed to be chopped, and the barn door had fallen from its hinges. He walked slowly to the barn where he found only a few head of cattle, that had net been fed in quite some time for their ribs showed beneath their skin. Will had taken care of practically everything around Tara, and now that he was unable, they had no one else to take his place.
Wade turned to find Silver waiting for him anxiously, but instead of great excitement, he gently patted his flank, knowing the work they had ahead of them. He held some feed in his hand, and talked to Silver as he ate slowly. Thankfully Silver was still in good shape. He had lost some weight, and he had begun to age, but he would be of great help in restoring the plantation. For a fleeting moment, Wade looked around the plantation and thought of the great strides he could make with a million dollars, and the help that he would have been able to recruit with such a great amount of wealth, but he pushed his from his mind quickly, weighing his loss against the gain. There would have been no contest. He loved Tara with everything in him. He was one with the land, and it respected him in return, but he did not love this land like he loved his son, and he looked forward to the day when he would teach his son to love the land as well.
He gathered his thoughts, and turned to walk back to the house. He did not want to see Will in any condition other the way he had seen him last, but he knew he had to face the inevitable. He faced Suellen as he walked into the back door, and the look on her face caused him to lose his breath. Without a word, he followed her into the sick room where Will lay on a tiny bed covered to the chin with several blankets though his face was beaded with sweat. His eyes remained closed, and he looked as though every breath took great effort. Heaving deeply, he tried to raise his arm to reach for Wade, but he was too weak. Wade walked to his side and knelt beside the bed on the cold, hard floor. Hiding his tears, he took Will’s hand and waited for him to speak.
“Wade, honey, he cannot talk. The pneumonia has weakened him so that he is beyond recovery. He simply wanted to se you one last time. I have a letter that he asked me to write down for you.” Suellen handed Wade the letter, and Wade read it slowly as tears poured down his face.
Wade,
You are like my son, and I love you. I am proud of everything you have done. You have courage, strength, and smartness that I have never had. I admire you for who you are and the man that you have turned out to be. I hope that you will remember me with fondness and love, for I love you. As I look down from heaven above, I will watch over you and continue to be proud to call you my nephew. Please take care of my girls. I cannot stay here with them and they need you. I know that I can count on you.
Will
Wade wiped the tears from his eyes, and patted Will’s hand gently. Will smiled weakly then slowed his breathing as he slept. Wade watched him for a few moments, picturing him as he was only a few months earlier. He had been strong and alive. He had been calm and quiet, but lively. Now he lay in the tiny bed weak and pale. He had given himself over to death which was hanging in the corner just waiting to take him. When he couldn’t stand to see Will laying in his weakened condition any longer, Wade and Suellen crept from the room so as not to disturb him.
When they had closed the door, Suellen dropped her head for a moment, straightened her shoulders and looked Wade square in the eyes, “I am sure he will not survive the night. He was holding on so that he could see you one last time. We have said our good byes, and he is too weak to carry on.” Suellen turned quickly without another word and walked swiftly to the kitchen to begin preparing dinner. Wade stared after her, unwilling to believe her words. He did not follow, but turned to find Ella and Cole.
Strolling through the house, he let his mind wander through memories that haunted him. He could see the Yankee soldiers as they pillaged their home. It was as if just yesterday he fought for his sword which still hung in his bedroom, and then watched as his mother beat out the fire in the kitchen. As he walked around, he entered the room which held Great Grandmother Robillard’s portrait, and he stared up, wondering what she had been thinking at that moment. Her eyes were hard as steel, yet she still seemed to reach out to him, willing to comfort and protect him in his time of need. Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the corner and he turned to see Ella on her knees. Her lips moved silently as she nimbly fingered the string of rosary beads running through her hand. He watched her quietly as she prayed with her head bowed over Cole lying silently in her arms.
Without warning, she stood and shifted Cole to her other arm, wrapping the blanket more tightly around him to keep him snug. She started when she noticed Wade standing in the doorway, but offered no explanation. Her expression was grim. Her tight lips curled down in the corners and her shoulders hunched over slightly as if she were so tired she couldn’t bear to stand. The changes she had made since he had seen h
er last were amazing. She had become a woman, and here she was, holding his child looking matronly, yet exhausted and sad. The exuberance which had lit her eyes only days earlier had suddenly left, and Wade was sure that her only reason for misery was Will’s condition. He walked to her and wrapped his arms around his little sister, and he held her as she wept bitterly. Between them, Cole began to struggle, and Ella giggled gently as Wade backed up to give Cole more room.
Ella had missed Wade desperately, and she needed to talk to him, but yet again, she knew it had to wait. More pressing matters surrounded them, and she could wait a few more days to bare her soul to her only confidante. She looked at him thankfully then handed Cole to Wade and rushed to help Suellen set the table.
When they finally sat down to eat, Will’s absence hung over the table casting gloom, yet no one said a word. Wade searched each face only to find an emptiness as each woman that surrounded him thought of the place that Will held in their life. In this home, Will had served as husband, father, and uncle, graciously, willingly, and without blemish. Now Wade held the same responsibilities, for he had somehow become the man of the house. His entire being trembled with fear, knowing he could never take Will’s place nor could adequately fulfill his list of responsibilities. He could only hope that the Lord would give him the strength to take care of each person around this table as they now counted on him to be their sole provider.
The next morning when he awoke, he dressed quickly and walked downstairs to find Suellen gently closing the door behind her as she left Will’s room. Her eyes were filled with tears and her body shook with sobs. Immediately Wade knew that Will had died during the night and his own chest contracted with an ache he had never felt. His own father had died before he was born, and it was as if he was living through his father’s death. The man that had cared for him since he was a small child, had made animals from chips of wood, had taught him how to farm, and showed him what it meant to be a father was gone, never to return. He shared his grief with Aunt Suellen as she cried. He wrapped his arms around her, towering over her small, weak frame. It felt as if she had not eaten or slept in weeks, and she slumped to the ground in exhaustion. He continued to rock her as her tears subsided and emptiness took their place.
Although Will had never officially converted to Catholicism, Suellen requested a priest to preside over the funeral. People from all over the county gathered in the family cemetery to say their goodbyes as Suellen stared wide-eyed into the casket being lowered slowly into the ground. Without warning, Scarlett slid in behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, supporting her, and as she felt the arms of her sister, she broke down again, her body shaking as she wept. They walked arm in arm back to the house as the procession of visitors followed with warm gestures, quiet hugs, comforting the girls in their grief. Each of Suellen and Will’s children stared blankly as if unaware of their father’s death, yet desperately aware and not willing to accept it. They nodded quietly in response to platitudes spoken with conviction, yet gave no heed to anyone. Their faraway looks simply gave evidence of their desire to escape in spite of their understanding of duty.
Wade surveyed the crowd, searching for recognizable faces. He saw people from around the county and a few from Atlanta that had known Will. He had been a Civil War veteran, and surviving soldiers from around the land came to honor their gallant comrade in grey. Wade noticed faces from long ago, those that brought back memories of childhood, and he soon become lost in his reminiscence so that he was not surprised to see a lovely face surrounded by blonde curls heading towards him. It was if she had always been there and she belonged in the midst of his jumbled thoughts.
Emily approached him slowly, unsure of what to say. “I am sorry for your losses… both of them.”
Wade gazed at her for a moment, confused by the mixture of past and present. “Thank you, Emily. It is nice to see you again. How have you been?”
“Fine,” her face reddened and she stumbled over her next few words, “I am still living with the Fontaine's.” She quickly changed the subject, unwilling to discuss their previous engagement, for she was still unsure of how the situation had changed so quickly, and though it had been only a year and a half, it seemed like yesterday. Her heart still ached with hurt and her mind reeled with unanswered questions. “I would guess that this is Cole. He looks just like you.” She noticed the questioning look on his face, and knowing his thoughts, she offered explanation, “Ella and I have talked quite often. She and I have become fast friends. She keeps me updated on your progress. I hope that your recent misfortune will not hinder your future success.” Her statement seemed inquiring.
“If you are asking about school, I have suspended my studies for a while, most likely permanently. It is imperative that I take over here for a while, and I cannot raise Cole appropriately if he spends all of his time with a nanny.” Wade searched her eyes for approval. He could tell by her glistening eyes that she approved of his paternal commitment.
“I hope, Wade, that we can still visit without awkward feelings. I must be going. Good bye, Wade.” Emily turned and headed toward the door before Wade could respond, but he pondered her sincerity, hoping to rekindle their friendship in spite of their ruined relationship.
Hours passed as guests offered their condolences then finally trickled out the door, leaving the family in quietness, only broken by Cole’s intermittent cries. Scarlett took Suellen upstairs and put her to bed, just as Mammy would have done if she had been here. When she returned, she found Rhett and Wade on the front porch, as Wade rocked Cole quietly on the swing that Will had constructed for Suellen.
Scarlett looked at Wade, noticing the baby for the first time. “Wade, where is Louise? Could she not find time to be here for her family?”
Wade stared at her, forgetting that she had not been notified of any of the events in his own life. “How do you think she could be here?” His heart began to beat wildly as he thought of his own wife in Athens. “How could you be so heartless and cruel as to even mention her name at this moment?”
“I’m sorry; Wade, but I do not know what you are talking about.” Scarlett’s face reddened as she became angry, understanding that once again she had been shut out from his life.
“She died, mother. This is Cole, by the way. He is your grandson. Louise died giving birth to your grandson,” Wade fumbled for a moment then walked into the house, slamming the door behind him.
He did not notice as Scarlett’s hands rose to her face in incredulous horror. She rushed into Rhett’s arms, crying, “Oh, my poor baby!”
Wade only felt the despondent rip as his heart broke again, knowing that his mother cared nothing for him. He sat in the corner chair in his room for the rest of the night, holding Cole with tears running down his face, feeling exhausted and alone. Again, his mother knew nothing of his turmoil, only her nasty disposition reared its head. A cavern lie between them that seemed unsurpassable, and when Wade needed his mother more than ever, he pushed her away, spitefully, just as she had done to him so many times before. He was unwilling to bridge the gap, for in his mind she had committed too many atrocious crimes, for which she could never repent, nor did he suspect that she wanted to repair. As the sun began to rise, he vowed again that he would never neglect or abandon his son, and the thick wall surrounding his heart that Louise had almost broken down, began to rise again.