by Clare James
“And I’m sorry for that,” I say. “But I had a baby to think about. And I owed it to him, even to Alex, to try to be a family. I wanted you then, so much. But Cade has to come first. Always.”
“He does.” Tris closes his eyes, like he’s trying to fight something. “I know you think I can’t understand because I don’t have a kid. But I get it, and I would do the same thing. You know, when I would take him to the park in the afternoon, I would pretend he was mine. God, how pathetic is that?”
“I’ve actually wished for that.” My voice is caught on a sob. “I’ve wished for that so many times.”
He holds me then, and I get lost. The Tris memory file breaks wide open now as the last few months with him flash in my head. Our time at the beach house, the library, behind the diner. The thought of him touching me makes my knees weak. His rough and commanding hands; his soft and soothing touch; his frantic pace that could turn achingly slow on a dime. Always a mess of contradictions.
But it’s the time in between that steals my heart: eating Chinese food in bed; studying together; bringing Cade to the park. All those tiny fragments of life that seem uneventful or ordinary.
Until they’re gone.
I’d do anything for ordinary again.
Sobbing harder now, because I know in my heart I’ll never find what we had together, I pull away. It’s too much to take in and Tris’s comfort only makes it more difficult.
But he doesn’t leave. He stays with me.
When I finally settle down, I expect Tris to go running. Instead, he asks me a question.
“Wait a minute,” he says. “Can I ask you something?”
“Okay.”
“Cade told me that you’ve been visiting my dad.”
“I’m volunteering at the hospital,” I say.
“But why spend time with him?” Tris pulls his brows together and fixes his eyes on mine. “He was never particularly nice to you. And even now, after all that’s happened, he’s still an ass most of the time.”
“I know,” I say, happy for the change in subject. “I don’t mind. I guess I understand him now. Being left alone with a child – like your mom did to him and like Alex did to me – hurts in a way I can’t even describe. And you can resent it, like Paul did, and become bitter. Or, you can realize it was for the best, and choose not to feel sorry for yourself and instead feel sorry for the person who took off. Because they’re left with nothing; they are the people missing out. And the sad thing is, they don’t even realize it. Spending time with your dad reminds me to be thankful for all I have. I’m actually pretty lucky.”
“It’s too bad he’s never thought like that,” Tris says.
“I think he does now,” I tell him, hoping he’s really listening this time. “I think he brought you back home for a reason.”
Tristan
I really let Aria’s words sink in, allowing myself to feel every emotion. Her words cut to the bone, and I know she’s right. About Dad and our relationship. It’s possibly one of the most intense conversations I’ve ever had because whatever happens here – how we decide to leave things today – will determine my future.
And I’ve never felt more strongly than I do now that Ari and Cade are it for me. They’re all I’ve ever wanted and everything I was afraid to hope for.
The fight or flight response that I’ve become so accustom to kicks in, and for once, I choose to fight.
“I think you were brought back home for a reason too, Aria,” I say. “And it wasn’t just for a summer at home. This is where you belong. This is where Cade belongs.”
“I agree,” she says, looking confused.
“Then why are you going back to him?” I demand.
“Have you been watching the coverage on Alex?”
“I couldn’t turn away from it this time. Not after all that’s happened. Not when there’s a kid who I adore involved.”
“Tris.” She moves in and the air crackles. “We are not going anywhere.”
“You’re not?” I have to grab the counter to keep my balance.
“No.” She bands her arms around my waist now. “In fact, I’ve hired an attorney to finish off the damn divorce.”
I try to grasp exactly what she’s saying and what it means, but all I want to do is haul her into bed and celebrate the best fucking news I’ve ever heard. I want to live in this moment for the next month.
“What if he fights you?”
“I’m ready,” she says, more confident than I’ve ever seen her. “Plus, I’ve got the best people in my corner.”
I don’t wait to ask if I’m one of those people. Instead, I kiss her. Slow and deep in a way that makes you feel it in your bones.
It’s one of those kisses we never allowed ourselves for fear of getting too close, as if that didn’t happen the first time we touched each other. It’s possessive and consuming. And it feels like it lasts for hours.
“Stay for dinner,” Aria says after our make-out session is over.
I was hoping for make-up sex, but we were interrupted by Cade. And Amelia. And Serena. I have a feeling they are going to be a huge cock blockers, but I’m okay with it. More than okay.
We’ll just have to get a little creative. That’s if she’ll have me after what I’m about to tell her.
“I’d love to,” I say, knowing it’s time to address that one final thing. “But could I have a minute first?”
Aria nods and leads me to her bedroom. My throat tightens and hands go cold as I prepare tell her everything about Serena. If this is going to work, we can’t have secrets or insecurities. No more hiding.
Yet I’m scared as hell this will be the final straw.
She takes a seat on the bed and I pace the length of the room as I begin to talk. I start from the beginning, slow at first, until I can actually feel the tension between us. Our eyes meet, but she gives nothing away.
After that, I focus on getting through it as fast as I can, even with the enormous lump in my throat.
I tell Aria the story of that night. And I admit to being a little too friendly with Serena at the bar, before I knew who she was. I tell her about the boredom and the loneliness and why I was there in the first place. I explain the situation with Lissa, something Aria definitely doesn’t want to hear.
But she listens all the same, not moving from her place on the bed.
And finally, I find the courage to tell her how Serena wouldn’t take no for an answer. And how she’s been threatening me ever since.
Aria doesn’t say a word and the silence is thick in the room.
My gut drops out from under me and all I can think is that I’ve messed it all up again.
Aria
I let him suffer for a little while because I’m a bit of a masochist myself. I’m also in a bit of mood after hearing about Lissa. But when Tristan’s face goes pale, I decide to let him off the hook. I burst out laughing at the ridiculous situation.
“Am I missing something here?” he asks, stopping in mid-pace. And now I can’t help but feel guilty, and also so happy that he’s decided to tell me all of this in the first place. It means he’s serious about us and I have to stop myself from skipping around the room with joy.
“Serena’s just fucking with you, Tris,” I tell him, coming clean.
“What?” he says, straining to keep his voice down. The color in his face is coming back…in a bright shade of red.
“Don’t you remember this from high school?” I ask him, raising my eyebrows. It seems like both yesterday and a lifetime ago.
“No,” he says. “I don’t remember.”
I wonder if that’s true, or if he’s just tried to forget about that time in our lives. It hurts to think I might be the reason for that, and it makes me want to put my arms around him and take the pain away.
“Anytime I was into someone or they showed me some attention, Serena would get all competitive,” I continue.
Tris pulls his brows together, considering.
“She’
s always wanted what I had.” I stand now and move toward him. “But really, she needed to know she was worthy of it.”
“Are you trying to tell me Serena was just after my junk because of some weird sister competition bullshit?” he asks, and I can almost see the relief wash over him.
“Yes. Oh my God, she’s gone after ever boy I’ve ever smiled at. I can’t believe you don’t know this.”
“Are you sure?” he teases now, trying to save face. “Because I really think she wanted me.”
“Sorry, stud. Not in this case.” I take his hands and squeeze, and his eyes go soft in a way that makes my insides melt.
“Did you know she was fucking with me?” he asks.
“When I saw the two of you at the ice cream shop, I had an idea,” I admit.
“And you didn’t feel like letting me off the hook then? I was a wreck for no reason?”
“There was a reason,” I tell him. “You weren’t being honest with me.”
“Right. But why would she go after me after all that time?” he asks, and I can’t believe he still doesn’t get it. “You and I weren’t even talking then.”
“She knew, you idiot,” I blurt without thinking, and the next words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. “I was in love with you for our entire senior year, so landing you would be a huge conquest.”
“Let me get this straight.” He pulls me closer. “She knew that you were in love with me senior year when I had no clue?”
“Oh, Tris.” I fall into him, resting my head on his chest. “Everyone knew.”
And now he finally did too.
The Following Wednesday…
TRISTAN
I shift Aria around so she’s in front of me as I sit on the bed. We’ve been here before, but it feels so much different this time. Better…if that’s even possible. Even though we have more than just Wednesdays together, this is still my favorite day of the week. And I’ve been looking so forward to this.
“Take off your clothes for me,” I tell her, watching her shift her feet, looking so prim her little skirt and blouse. “Slowly. Very, very slowly.”
“You’re going to take this one sitting down?” she asks, removing her top in a way that makes me instantly hard. “Okay, I can deal with that, it worked so nicely in the library.”
“And no talking,” I add, placing a finger to her lips.
“Such a bossy ass,” she whispers as she steps out of her skirt.
When she stands back up, her eyes are dancing. And that’s when I reach out, lightning fast, and pull down her panties. Anything to shut her up.
But when I do, I reveal her newly shaven pussy and I’m the one that’s rendered speechless. It is fucking gorgeous.
“You like?” she asks with a giggle.
You have no fucking idea, I say in my head since I’m unable to make real words in the moment. So I answer with a growl and pull her up on my lap as I lie down.
But I need her closer.
I slide my hands under her ass, edging her to move up my body until she’s straddling my face, and I can have a better look.
My breath hitches and I have to count to ten before I can touch her again. I need to settle down or this is going to be over too fast. But she is so beautiful, my mouth waters.
When I can’t take it another second, my hands grip around her hips and I pull her down to my mouth so I can have a taste.
Aria’s legs shake as I trace my tongue down her center, inhaling her sweet musky scent. I get lost in it, and she becomes so slick.
Christ, she is ready for me.
“Tristan.” Her voice is low and rough.
“Mmm-hmm?” I answer with a vibration to her pussy. Her body shivers, and before she can recover, I flatten my tongue and take a long and punishing slow lick.
“Oh, God,” she cries.
Unable to resist, I do it again. Just to fill my ego with her admission of pleasure. Holding her in place with my fingers digging into her hip bones, I pull her closer and lap her up.
She grinds onto my tongue without shame and it is such a turn on.
I slow down, even though it’s torture, because I don’t want her to come this way. I want to be deep inside her when she loses her fucking mind. When all those tight folds go soft.
Gently, I slide out from under her and flip her onto her back, before making quick work of my pants.
“This too.” Aria fists her hand in my T-shirt.
I practically rip it off, because I can’t get to her fast enough.
Once my clothes are gone, I grab the only other thing I need. The foil packet. Kneeling between her legs, I sheath my aching cock. Aria bends her legs, slightly, and lets them fall wide.
Jesus Christ.
In the very next moment, I’m at her entrance.
“I said I wanted this off.” I pull at her bra.
“And I was on my way until you pulled my panties off,” she says, innocently.
I glare at her and she slides her hands behind her back, undoes the clasp, and whips her bra across the room.
“Now will you just fuck me?” she asks.
Oh, now she’s done it.
With one punishing thrust, I fill her completely.
“God,” she cries and then says something else, but I can’t make it out.
“I love you, baby,” I say low in her ear. And that has her grinding into me, threatening to end this far too quickly.
We join together, moving hard and fast toward our climax. But I need more. I pull away to look at her and it takes my breath away.
Aria’s skin is flushed, eyes hooded, lips full. God, I need her mouth. I take it and plunder, then soothe and stroke the inside of her upper lip, while I slide my hand between us and roll her nipple with my thumb and fingers, one and then the other.
It’s an overload of pleasure and senses and soon I’m gasping for air. Still, I’m unable to get enough of my girl. It’s never enough.
Pressure low in my gut builds, causing a heavy ache in my balls and a lump in my throat. I move faster and Aria keeps in time as I pound into her with so much force I’m afraid we’re going to break the bed.
“I love you, Tris,” she reciprocates once she finds her voice. And all it takes is one final push before we both fall over the edge.
* * *
ARIA
Mom still insists on Wild Wednesdays, even if Tris is over every night. We don’t argue. Plus, I hope to return the favor just as soon as Jimmy asks Mom out. It should be any day now.
Tris and I have become quite resourceful when it comes to satisfying our urges with so many people around us all the time, but it’s a dream to have an entire night to enjoy each other without interruptions.
“Do you think it’s always going to be this way?” Tris asks after we recover from another earth-shattering orgasm. “Will I ever get enough of you?”
“God, I hope not,” I tell him. Never have I felt more beautiful, more alive, than when we’re together like this.
I thought our last time, after Alex’s visit, was it for us. I thought our sex life had run its course. I couldn’t even fathom that we’d start a completely different one. And this time around, I’m taking more and more control.
“You know,” I say. “There still are so many things we haven’t done, and so many things we need to try.”
“Mmm, I like the sound of that.” He purrs in a way that I feel all the way to my core.
Tris won’t admit it, but I can tell he’s growing to like the new aggressive Aria. He needs to be taken care of too, and I want to be the person to do that for him.
I worry about the things that still threaten to tear us apart. Like Tris’s new opportunity for another start-up in California. Or my looming divorce and custody battle with Alex. But I know we’ll find a way.
In medicine, there’s a rating system for the state of health, and I’ve grown to think of my relationship with Tris in much the same way.
See, we’ve finally moved beyond a critical s
tate to stable condition. It doesn’t mean things are perfect. There’s always the unknown – things we can’t expect and can’t explain. And that’s where we’re at right now.
Most importantly, we’re out of the woods, and I plan to enjoy every single second that we have together.
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MORE THAN THIS
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Chapter 1
Jules
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If a picture is worth a thousand words, I’m pretty sure this one includes every dirty term in the dictionary… and even some that aren’t. Because…whoa!
But it’s not so much a picture that’s currently conjuring up these filthy words as it is a live image, complete with a real-life man. And as I stand in the room, like I have so many times, I assess him as I would any subject—taking in the light and the lines, the colors and composition. My eyes are the lens and I zoom-in to capture every detail. I’ve spent so much time behind a camera that it’s become second nature.
In the case of Foster Sutton, it’s become my favorite pastime.
His tattoo peeks out from under his shirt, and I bite my lip. Yes, it is completely cliché. And yes, I do look like some kind of B-list porn star lusting after this man and going into heat every time he shows a little skin. But seriously, he is that beautiful.