“They’ll use you and throw you away. You’re nothing but mountain trash, the same as me. You need to stay up here, find you a good godly man to marry, and settle down to your lot in life.” Sophia Rasnake had claimed with fear, anger, and self-righteousness in her eyes.
Anne had looked at her mother calmly, kissed her goodbye, and left, never looking back. She hadn’t even been back to visit yet, putting her mother off with claims of being busy at work or ill. The life her mother wanted her to have was not the life she wanted at all. She hadn’t planned on having an affair, of being so sinful, but Jim had charmed her with his passionately whispered declarations about how beautiful she was with her pale white skin, her auburn hair, and grey eyes. He’d given her the comfort her mother never had with his arms around her as he told her he loved her, could never live without her. Anne felt loved when she was in Jim’s arms and that was something she’d never felt before.
Anne had tried to resist temptation but the soulful brown eyes of her employer, his claims of loneliness, and his attention to her eventually wore down Anne’s defenses and she’d given in to his advances late one night in his office. The affair had been going on for months now and Anne had never once thought about birth control. Now she was pregnant with his child. Surely that meant something to him? Matters had to change now, didn’t they?
“Out! Get out and don’t come back! You can’t trap me with this baby; you can’t prove it’s mine! I’m not letting some little gutter snipe from the backwoods ruin me. Get out and don’t come back!”
Instead of declarations of love and undying fidelity, Anne’s revelation, spoken with a gentle but pleased smile, had caused Jim to explode from his desk violently as he threw his coffee cup at her, screaming at her to leave at once. Anne’s illusions had shattered at once, her attempts to calm herself with illusion and fantasy crushed under the heel of Jim’s rage.
Anne had begged him to help her, to love her and their baby, but he’d refused to hear any more about it. The panic and rage on Jim’s face had frightened Anne and her pleas stopped as he’d raged at her. Jim had grabbed her arm, her coat, and her handbag before he marched Anne out of the back office door, throwing $400 at her and telling her to get lost and to never come back before slamming the door closed and locking it.
In a fog of shock and numbness Anne automatically picked up the money from the ground beside of her where she’d fallen, brushed her skirt down, and walked to her car on trembling legs. Anne knew now that all of her fantasies about Jim, all of the things he’d whispered to her in the dark of the office, had been lies. She was just as her mother had said, a stupid naïve girl, too dumb to realize she was being played for a fool.
Knowing she wasn’t likely to get another job in her current condition, as well without a good reference from Jim, she drove back to her tiny apartment, waited until night fell, packed up her meagre belongings, and started to drive. She only had one destination in mind because it was the only place she had left to go to. She was heading home to Louisa Falls. To her mother. Lord help her, she was going back to Hell.
Anne drove for three hours, finally seeing the turn off for her mother’s house at 9 pm. She pulled in but stopped before driving up. Anne listened to the song on the radio, a song about a male singer who’d left the woman who loved him. The artist was one of Anne’s favorite singers, her country voice coming through even in a pop song. Going up that track was going to be one of the hardest things Anne had ever had to do and she knew what was coming.
Her mother was a cruel, vindictive woman that seemed to hate the daughter she purported to love. A loving mother didn’t drag a six year old child’s puppy out of the sleeping girl’s arm and throw it out in the middle of a blizzard to freeze to death because “it was the devil’s plaything” and distracted the child from her chores. A loving mother would never cut the girl’s hair off to the scalp when the girl was sixteen to keep the boys away from her, hair that had never been cut before and was the girl’s crowning glory. A loving mother didn’t punish her daughter for forgetting to bring sheets in before it rained by making her kneel on corn meal sprinkled on a bare wood floor reciting entire books of the Bible for hours on end from memory, caning the back of the girl’s legs if she misspoke or couldn’t remember the verses.
Anne’s childhood and early adult years had been far from easy and she dreaded going home now, her mother had been right after all. How could she fight back against that? She knew she’d be punished, in some shape or form and considered driving back to the nearest tall bridge and jumping off of it rather than face her mother. Anne closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. She wasn’t on her own now, her body wasn’t solely her own now, she had to think about her child.
Anne resigned herself to living with her mother until the baby was born and she could go back to work. Then she’d find a way to take her baby back to Charlotte and start over there. She could deal with her mother for a few months, if it meant she’d have a warm place to sleep until the child was born at least.
Anne finally drove up the track, got out of the car, and knocked on her mother’s door. The light was still on in the living room so she knew the woman was still up. Anne could hear grumbling and a loud radio program playing, a preacher by the sound of it, before the door was thrown open.
“Oh. It’s you. Hmph. Well, let me look at you.” The woman said coldly, hands on her hips, a grey shawl wrapped around her thin shoulders but no warmth or affection shown from her eyes for her daughter. “I guess you’re knocked up then? Come dragging back to Momma even though I told you so. Too big for your britches, you always were too big for your britches. Well, bring your sorry self in then. But don’t expect me to help you bring anything in, my bursitis is acting up and I’m in my night robe. Hurry up, it is cold outside.”
Anne carried her things from the car into her old room, Sophia moaning about Anne bringing shame to the family and how she’d never be able to show her face in town again. Anne held her tongue, quietly unloading the car and taking her belongings straight into her bedroom. Anne hoped she could soon escape to the quiet of the room, away from her mother’s sharp tongue.
“You’re going to have to make up some kind of story, Anne; we can’t be having no unwed mothers in this family. Tell them your husband was in the Army and he died on a mission somewhere. Too bad you didn’t do this last year, when the war was still going on.” Sophie harped at Anne as she carried in the last suitcase she had.
Anne stopped, looking at her mother aghast. Would Sophia really want her to stoop that low, to claim paternity for her child from an honorable but dead soldier? Staring at the woman, seeing the mean look in her eye, Anne knew her mother meant just that.
Sophia claimed to be a godly woman; a church-goer every time the church doors opened, a nightly reader of the Bible, but sometimes she was so far from being Christ-like Anne doubted her. Anne would never say that out loud but she felt it in her heart that Christ didn’t want people to be so sour, so rude and unkind to each other the way Sophia was.
Rather than saying anything Anne just continued on to her room, listening but not replying. It was better that way; she’d save herself a busted lip for being uppity with her mother if she made no response at all. Anne could have fought back, she was taller and bigger than her mother now, a little plump but not fat and tall at ten inches over five feet, but the thought of fighting back still hadn’t occurred to her. Old habits die hard, after all.
“You tell them all your husband’s name was John Rasnake, but a set from down in South Carolina, that’s why your name hasn’t changed. And he died in a car accident, that’s good yes, then we won’t get tied up in Army pensions and stuff. So he died in a car accident and left you all alone, now you’ve come back to your Momma. I know a doctor you can go to as well. But you hear me now girl, I ain’t no babysitter; I’m not making it clothes or buying it presents. This ain’t my baby, it’s yours, and it’s going to stay that way. No running off and leaving me here with
it, you hear?” Sophia ended with a pointed finger and glaring eyes, poking Anne in the middle of her chest.
“Yes, Momma.” The only words she’s spoken to her mother since her mother opened the door. As if she’d ever leave her helpless child with this short, grey-haired, abusive, hate-filled old biddy, Anne thought to herself. I’ll never leave my child with her; I don’t care what I have to do to take care of the poor helpless child I’ll never expose it to my mother’s venom.
Chapter Two
A few days later Anne walked into the doctor’s office her mother had sent her to with her mother’s reprimands still ringing in her ears.
“Don’t tell them you aren’t married. Imagine acting like some slut just because you ran off to the city. And don’t be eyeing up any man on your way either, I don’t want no lay about good for nothing man dirtying up my house.” Sophia had said as Anne left the house quietly, her head bowed in shame.
Anne wiggled the slim gold band her mother had insisted she wear from now on as she looked at the two other women sitting in the waiting area. The one sitting on the sofa was a pretty, brown-haired young woman. She looked up bashfully at Anne, her long straight curtain of light-brown hair acting as a shield for the woman and her shy smile. The other woman had blonde hair and looked to be older than both Anne and the older woman, and she gave Anne a polite but distant smile. Worry seemed to haunt both women, their eyes unable to hide a tightness the women probably weren’t even aware of.
Anne returned their smiles and walked to the receptionist, writing her name on the paper as directed before taking one of the chairs left available. Anne looked around the office, wondering how long she was going to have to wait. Anne glanced surreptitiously at the women in the waiting area with her. Both were obviously pregnant, the brown-haired one kept rubbing at her barely showing bump while the other one seemed relaxed and kept pulling her coat closed, as if to protect the baby from the gazes of outsiders.
Anne felt like she should say something to the women, they were all sitting there nervously awaiting their turns with the doctor, being polite and quiet. She’d only had her mother to talk to over the last few days and she wanted to hear some cheerful news. There was only one thing she could think of to say in the situation.
“When are you due?” She said with a bright smile, including both women in her gaze.
Anne saw that her words made the ladies uncomfortable for a moment but then, as if twins, the two ladies relaxed and smiled back at Anne.
“In six months, this is my third pregnancy. I’m Joan by the way.” The brown-haired woman said with another shy smile.
Anne thought she must have been much further along than that but she didn’t know much about pregnant women. Anne noted, also, that the woman had specifically said pregnancy, not child or time or baby, but pregnancy. Anne’s gaze saddened for a moment and she was going to speak but the other woman spoke first.
“I’m Meg, I’m also due in six months and this is my tenth child.” The pretty but tired looking woman said with pride mixing with something that Anne interpreted as embarrassment.
“Tenth? Oh my, this is my first! Oh, right, my name is Anne and I guess we’re all due around the same time then, how wonderful.” Anne felt a connection to the ladies, their babies all due around the same time, and smiled with pleasure. It was nice to speak to other women who weren’t condemning her.
“How did you hear about Doctor Nelson?” Joan asked. Joan had grown up in Louisa Falls but couldn’t remember Anne so she assumed Anne was new to the town.
“My mother told me about him. I grew up here but moved away a couple of years ago. Then my husband passed away and well, here I am.” Anne said, feeling a moment of guilt over the lie but knowing it needed to be told.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, and in your condition. You poor thing!” Meg responded first, her hand coming out to pat Anne’s comfortingly.
Anne smiled back weakly, hoping her guilt didn’t show through. “It was quick, a car accident. But I have my baby to look forward to and John was such a good man, I have a lifetime of memories to keep me going.”
“Oh, tell us about him.” Joan implored, leaning towards Anne with excitement.
Anne had soon woven a tale of a man who was a knight in shining armor, perfect in every way, and handsome to boot. This was the first time she told the tale and she hadn’t worked out all of the details yet but she tried to remember the lies she told for telling later. By the time Meg’s name was called the women were sighing over just how wonderful the fictitious dead father of Anne’s child was.
The task was surprisingly easy, Anne thought as Meg walked into the back of the office, sending a reassuring look to Joan before she left. Anne had simply taken Jim and reversed everything he’d done or said to Anne. She wiped at her eyes and put on a brave smile as Joan moved closer to her and the pair sat talking about their husbands.
“My husband took on odd jobs to pay for this doctor. He’s supposed to be very good, you know?” Joan paused for a moment before continuing. “I’ve lost two already, both stillborn, and Doctor Nelson has a very good reputation so we decided to come to him this time. Scott, my husband, is a very good man and I appreciate him so much. From the sounds of it your John was much the same.”
“Indeed he was. He was my rock and I miss him sorely.” Anne said to Joan the lie almost feeling like the truth as she wished she’d met a man such as John rather than Jim.
“And what’s Meg’s story then, do you know her?” Anne shifted as she spoke, her curiosity piqued.
“I guess you won’t have met the preacher and his wife then, they’ve only been here a year now but Meg is my best friend in the whole world. Meg is Reverend Robert Skagg’s wife, Bobby replaced the old pastor when he went into that nursing home in Asheville. He’s obviously living the Word.” Joan said with a note of awe for the reverend.
“Ten children are quite a few, I must say. I don’t know if I could handle two, much less ten.” Anne threw out, not thinking of who she was talking to.
“I’d just be happy with one healthy, living one. It’s been so hard on us, but we hope and pray that this one will be our little miracle.” Joan said, patting her belly again.
Anne felt horrible for Joan and smiled over at her in sympathy. “I hope so too, and I’ll pray for you.”
“Thank you, that’s mighty kind of you.” Joan responded with charm, her smile brightening as Meg came out and the nurse called Joan’s name.
“I hope everything goes well, Joan, it was nice to meet you.” Anne said, wondering how she’d never met the sweet, gentle woman before. Apparently there was two years difference in their ages but still, it was a small town.
Meg stopped as she came to Anne, finished with the receptionist, and gave Anne a card. The church’s name was printed on it with the address and phone number.
“I know this is your first so if you need any help or advice feel free to call me. And of course, you can always stop by the church any time. I hope to see you Sunday.”
Anne appreciated Meg’s offer and took the card with a thank you. “I’m sure I’ll be there Sunday, if I’m not mistaken my mother attends your church. Well, she used to anyway. I’ll see you then.”
“Good, I hope everything goes well for you, Anne. See you soon.” Meg pushed through the door and left Anne alone in the waiting area.
Now, with nobody to distract her, the coming visit with the doctor weighed on her mind. She didn’t have long to wait, though, and she said her goodbyes to Joan as the nurse called her name. The efficient woman dressed in all whites took Anne’s weight, height, and blood pressure before leading her to a room with an exam table and two chairs.
The nurse seemed brusque and somehow unkind to Anne. The woman hadn’t cared a whit that the blood pressure cuff had been on so tight the contraption had left marks on Anne’s skin. Anne rubbed at the marks as she walked into the exam room. She settled on the chair and didn’t have to wait long before the doctor came in.
>
“Hello Mrs. Rasnake, I’m Doctor James Nelson, and I understand you’re expecting?” The man said, walking into the room after knocking, the nurse close behind him.
“Yes, the doctor I saw last thought I must be about three months along.” She informed the man while he looked at the notes the nurse had written.
Anne did as she was told throughout the exam, nervous about the doctor seeing her naked lady parts but knew that was his job. Visiting a baby doctor was something new for her generation, most women still just visited general practitioners in rural areas like she lived in, but her mother had all but insisted she come here so she had to appease her.
The thoughts distracted her as the doctor looked her over and then wrote some notes. Then he started to ask questions such as the father’s age, occupation, and health history. Anne made up what she had to, hoping she remembered the lies later, and started to grow uncomfortable as the doctor started asking questions about the father’s mental health and how Anne planned to care for the baby.
“What do you mean how do I plan to care for the baby?” Anne asked, looking at the doctor more closely than she had before.
Doctor Nelson was probably in his late 40s, a little paunchy but charming in a way that reminded her a little of Jim. Anne wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“Oh, it’s just a normal question we ask new mothers now. In your case you’ll obviously be alone and that can be quite difficult. We like to know if there’s going to be any problems later, both medically and financially so we can prepare for those circumstances. We consider the mother and child’s overall wellbeing here and discuss alternatives if need be.” The doctor said with a smile that was meant to put Anne at ease but somehow didn’t.
“I’ll be fine doctor, never fear. My baby will have everything it needs, one way or another.” Anne said with some force, wanting the man to understand.
Anne could be very timid but her child was sparking a backbone in her, something she had never felt before. The feeling was fierce protectiveness and it stunned Anne to feel it so deeply. She put her hand over her stomach, already a habit now, and told herself to calm down.
Thriller: Horror: Conceived (Mystery Suspense Thrillers) (Haunted Paranormal Short Story) Page 14