by Amelia Wilde
“You’re sure about that?”
He gives me a dashing smile. “It’s not that kind of brain injury, Ruby. I still have all kinds of ideas for the shows.”
Some of the tension releases its grip on my gut. “I’m really glad to hear that.”
Henry gives me a look. “Where have you been? They declared my brain fine and dandy a month ago.”
“I know. There’s just been a lot going on. Sometimes I forget that some things are okay.”
“Don’t harass your sister.” My mom says the words before she’s even fully in the door of Henry’s room, carrying two cups of coffee in her hands, and we both laugh. She grins back at us. “What are you two planning?”
“Henry was telling me about a building in SoHo with accessible apartments.”
Mom frowns and hands me one of the cups. “Don’t they have laws about that sort of thing?”
“Yeah,” Henry says, sighing. “They have laws. Compliance doesn’t necessarily mean comfort, though.”
“And you, my prince, deserve nothing but the best.” She settles into a seat next to me.
“Is that why you didn’t bring me any coffee? It’s pretty clear who’s the favorite, Mom.” Henry glares at her in a way that’s completely unconvincing.
Mom shoots me a look. “I just brought him some forty minutes ago.”
“I believe you.” I take a sip, testing it out. It’s not bad. “Where’s Dad today?”
“I didn’t tell you?” Mom’s eyebrows fly up so high they’re almost under her hairline. “How could I not have told you?”
“You seemed pretty desperate for coffee.” I smile and take another sip of my own. “What’s up?”
“We got some good news. Some of the payments have started to come in.”
“Payments?”
“From the estate.” Mom closes her eyes for a long moment. “It’s such a relief.”
“From the estate sale, you mean?” My stomach churns. This is good news—so why do I feel so damn uneasy about it?
“The estate sale payment came in last week, but more has come through.” She reaches for my hand and takes it in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this, honey. I slept last night through for the first time in months.”
“I didn’t realize—” I swallow hard. “I didn’t realize he’d be able to move it so quickly. That’s great.”
Mom narrows her eyes. “You look pale, Ruby. Are you okay?”
“Fine! More than fine. I just thought there might be—” It’s so selfish. It’s so stupid. It’s unbelievably ridiculous to feel this sentimental about a houseful of furniture that I can’t store. It’s just that the thought of someone else driving away with all those pieces of my childhood, pieces of before—it makes me sick. How can it still make me sick? “I thought there might be more time.”
“More time for what?” She laughs a little. “We’ve been on borrowed time with some of these bills. This is all happening right when it should be.”
I force a smile onto my face. “You’re right.”
She reaches for me, this time rubbing my shoulder. “Oh, Ruby. I know this wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. But at least you won’t have to worry about all those things your entire adult life.”
My throat aches. I wanted to worry about those things, in some capacity. Or at least have the option to worry about them. Now, piece by piece, it’s all being yanked away. No matter how many times I steel myself for it, no matter how many times I tell myself I’m prepared, I’m not. I never am. “That’s true.”
“Anyway, this will all be over soon. I got a call from your father on the way up here.” She chuckles. “He might not be a big fan of David Blake, but he’s impressed with his son’s work.”
“Dad was at the house?”
“Yes. Didn’t I say that? He went to meet with someone representing the Blake Auction House. They handed him the first check. He said most everything is gone now.”
That’s not right. That’s not right. When I was there last, we still had most of the third floor to go through, plus the storage space in the attic. How could it all be gone?
Unless Levi took matters into his own hands.
Chapter 34
Levi
“When did you decide to go ahead without me?”
I swivel around in my chair, interrupted in the middle of reviewing all of the photos and descriptions from the majority of the Ashworth estate. “Ruby.” I’m up in an instant, crossing the room, leaning in for a kiss.
She puts one hand against my chest, stopping me before my lips can make contact with her cheek. “Levi, I want an answer.”
“What do you mean?”
Ruby takes a deep breath, and for the first time I see that she’s struggling to keep her emotions in check. “I didn’t call you about this because I wanted to ask you in person. I had to ask you in person.” She steels herself. “Did you meet my father at the estate today?”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I didn’t. I sent one of my assistants, Clarissa. There were a few items that—”
“There was supposed to be an auction.”
I put my hands on Ruby’s shoulders. “Let me explain.”
Her chin quivers. “Fine. But do it quickly. We’re supposed to be working together on this, and now—”
“Here. Come in.” I take her by the hand and pull her over the threshold, closing the office door behind us. Ruby allows herself to be guided toward a small loveseat off to the side, and I sit next to her, not letting go of her hand. “Yesterday I sent a team to catalogue and move most of the items left in the house. There are still a few things to deal with, but most of them are taken care of.”
“I can’t believe you would do that without me.”
I stifle the urge to laugh, even if it is just a gentle, indulgent laugh. It would only make her angrier. “This is what people hire me to do. It’s not necessary on my end to have someone from the estate with me every step of the way. That was—” I look into her eyes. “That was a way for us to spend time together, but I don’t think we need that now. Do you?”
Ruby’s jaw clenches, and she looks down at our hands. “No. I guess not.”
“I should have told you, regardless.” I put two fingers under her chin and raise her face so she’s looking into my eyes. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
She swallows hard. “Why did you do it like this?”
“Because I got the impression—” I stroke the back of my hand over her face and let it fall to our laps, putting it over our clasped hands. “I got the impression that it was all weighing on you. You were up half the night on Friday, worried about the money, worried about the auction…” I shake my head. “There’s no reason for us to keep going back week after week when it breaks your heart.”
“It doesn’t break my heart.”
“Ruby…”
“It doesn’t.”
“It’s alright if it does.”
There it is—that same vulnerability in her eyes that drew me to her the moment I saw her. “Maybe a little.” Her voice has dropped to a whisper.
I take her in my arms, ready for tears, but Ruby doesn’t cry. She just relaxes against me.
After a long minute, she straightens up. “Don’t you still want—” Her eyes search my face. “Don’t you still want my opinion on the pieces?”
“Absolutely.” I give her a grin, and the corners of her mouth turn up a little. “Here.” I pull a tablet off my desk. “I had everything photographed, with descriptions, so that we could go through the collection without having to drive up there every other day. It’s all here, other than a few smaller pieces of furniture that your parents had specifically earmarked for sale at earliest convenience.”
She looks down at the tablet and sighs. “Well, that’s a relief. I don’t know why it’s a relief. None of this is—” A laugh bubbles up. “None of this is mine, anyway.”
�
�You grew up in that house, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” A smile spreads across her face.
“I want to hear all about it.”
“Right now?”
“Right now, and later, and every day. But I think a good starting point would be to look at some of these pictures. It’s a lot faster than driving, right?”
“Right.”
I flip through the first few photographs. Ruby doesn’t have much to say about two of the antique sofas, but she does have something to say about a Victorian wardrobe that was in one of the guest suites on the second floor. “Oh, my god, we loved that thing.”
“What about it?”
“I mean, look at it. Doesn’t it remind you of something?”
I grin at her. “Let me guess. You were fans of a certain series of books involving a magic land that could only be accessed through the back of a wardrobe.”
“Oh, big time.” Ruby laughs. “Henry and I spent hours playing in those rooms. We would even sit in it and hope that the back panel would disappear.”
“Did it?”
“Sadly, no.” She traces her fingers over the screen.
“I’ll make sure it only falls into the best of hands. Just in case.”
Ruby’s voice is choked. “Good.”
We flip to the next item on the list, and a certainty blooms in my chest. I’ve been planning for this since the beginning without really knowing what I was going to do, but now, with Ruby sitting next to me, a sheen of tears in her eyes, I have it.
I know exactly what I’m going to do.
I know exactly who I’m going to contact. I can have this over and done with in a couple of days, if I pull some strings.
“It’s so overwhelming,” she says, and I realize she had time to go through several more items while I was thinking.
“What is?”
“Having a home this large, with so many things in it.” She sighs. “It’s overwhelming living in a tiny space, too. I don’t know why I feel so torn about it one second, and the next…”
“You’re hardly the first person to feel that way.”
“I know.” She laughs, a low little sound that resonates in my chest. “It’s so selfish, to be this agonized. I hate that about myself.”
I smooth my hand over her hair. Today, she’s wearing it mostly down, one side pinned back in a style that reminds me of Hollywood in the thirties. “It’s only natural. You grew up with all these things…all these expectations. Nobody would expect you to let them go overnight.”
“I want to.”
“I know.”
“I think it’s just that sometimes…” She rolls her eyes. “It’s so stupid. But there are times when it feels like—” Ruby laughs out loud, like she’s discovering something for the first time. “You know what? Never mind. I came in here thinking I was going to have to fight with you about overstepping your bounds and going behind my back and all kinds of dumb things.”
“Now what are you going to do?”
Ruby leans against me, closer in. “Does that door have a lock on it?”
“Which door?” I look at her with wide eyes. “Are you talking about my office door?”
“Yes. That door exactly.” She points.
“Unbelievable.” I shake my head slowly. “Whatever happened to the line between business and pleasure?”
“This did.” Ruby sits up straight, reaches for the hem of the sleeveless blouse she’s wearing, and tugs it over her head.
I don’t argue.
Chapter 35
Ruby
I can’t sleep.
Nothing has made my apartment seem smaller than that suite at the Plaza. Even going back to my parents’ house never made me feel this closed in.
It’s worse because you’re tired. I try to tell myself this fact in a convincing inner voice, but I don’t believe it. I repeat it three times, and I still don’t believe it. Even if it’s true.
I turn over onto my back. Maybe it’s time to consider a slightly larger space.
No. The thought makes a choking anxiety tighten my throat. I could afford it—for the time being. But all it takes is one slip-up, one disaster, and I could be back at square one. And where would that leave me? Where would that leave my family? What if Henry can’t go back to work after all? What if the spinal cord injury means permanent damage?
I run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath in through my nose, letting it out through my mouth. These are not scenarios I need to be losing sleep over. I have work in the morning, and for tonight, everyone is fine.
I’m fine. My family is fine. I have my savings. I don’t need a bigger place. It’s better to save that money at the end of every month. It’s better to hold on to what I have in case something goes wrong and I need that safety net.
But my heart won’t stop pounding.
My dad had a safety net—or at least he said he did. We had a house in Conyers Farm, for god’s sake—he had to have some kind of safety net. He had to have some kind of savings. I still don’t understand how they were all drained so quickly, how we were left in this strange limbo, relying on selling possessions to put themselves anywhere near the black.
And still, everything went wrong.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I twist under the covers.
I refuse to think about how, if things go far enough with Levi, I’ll never want for anything, ever again. I refuse to think about how that might be affecting the way I feel about him.
That’s not what this is about. It’s not.
I have to get on more even footing with him.
I just don’t know how to do it.
The pillow is cool on the other side, and I flip it over and press my face against it, letting the sounds from the street wash over me. Someday things will be back to normal. Someday I will get a bigger place, one that’s still sensible. Someday I will know how the story with Levi turned out in the end.
There’s nothing to do but relax, and I start at my shoulders. I work my way down, relaxing my elbows, relaxing my hands. Relaxing my chest. I can still hear my mom guiding me through the exercise. I used to get nervous before cross country meets in high school. I ran in the middle of the pack. I almost never won any of the ribbons they’d give out at the end. But I’d get so focused on it...
When did I stop running, anyway?
I should take up running again.
There’s a solution, and I just have to find it. There’s a solution that will put me on an equal level with Levi. If I could just get this pounding anxiety out of my head—if even one thing could give—then everything would fall into place. I know it.
Sitting up is a good first step. I prop a pillow against the wall and lean against it, tracing the outline of my bed in the light from the streetlamps. It’s never perfectly dark in the apartment. I could get a blackout curtain, but part of me likes it this way.
Back to the basics.
I hate that he’s selling all of my parents’ things, because they were supposed to become mine. And Henry’s, of course, but we’ve always known that I would be the one to move into the estate and take over the collections, the furniture. I hate it, even though it’s totally unrealistic for me to manage an estate of that size without an actual estate. The costs of storing it for that long—or even buying the house—aren’t within my reach, and I am not going to ask that of Levi, even if we do get married one day.
The thought of standing next to him in a white dress and swearing to be his forever sends twin pulses of giddy excitement and paralyzing fear down my back. But I can’t stop to think about that now.
Maybe I don’t need all of it. Maybe I just need something. Maybe I just need one or two things that I can hold back from the sale. That I could buy with my own money. Nothing outrageous. Just a couple of my favorite pieces. A small storage locker in a secure place wouldn’t be more than I can handle. I’m already saving a lot of money by living in this apartment, and I’m willing to do that for as long as
it takes.
Something uncurls in my chest when I settle on the idea.
It’s totally reasonable.
My first instinct is to reach for my phone on my bedside table, but once it’s in my hand, I’m not so sure. Maybe it’s an unreasonable idea.
No. It’s not. It’s the perfect thing for everyone involved. My parents get the money they need for the pieces, I get just enough of the family legacy to move on from this, and Levi—
Levi gets me, without any more strings attached.
I dial his number, but before the call connects, the time in the upper corner of the screen catches my eye. It’s ten to four in the morning.
“Oh, stop.” I toss the phone back onto the bedside table and pull the pillow back down.
I’m exhausted, my eyelids heavy. Why did this take so long to figure out? I could have been asleep hours ago.
It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I know what I’m going to do, and it’s simple.
It’s going to be so simple. The thought is gentle in my mind as I start to fall asleep, right into a dream about Levi, smiling down at me. Are we on the edge of the ocean, or on the sidewalk in New York? It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that I’m with him. It’s going to be so simple.
Chapter 36
Levi
“My team is already assembling the pieces. They’ll start arriving within the hour.”
The man’s voice on the other end of the line is booming, jovial. “I’ll be damned, Levi. You’re more efficient than your father.”
“Different industries,” I joke, and he laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “You call me if you need anything else.”
“You call me.” He laughs again, ending the call with a click while he’s still going.
I lean back in my chair, stretching my hands above my head.
The Ashworth estate has been handled. For more than a fair price. Ruby’s going to be thrilled. Well—she might be a little sad to see some of the things go, but her parents are going to be just fine. I don’t know how much money they need, not exactly—Ruby would never have revealed that, in case I saw it as asking for a loan—but if push comes to shove, I’m willing to make up the difference. If there is a difference.